The Mother and Her Child

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IMPROVING THE APPETITE

Not a morsel should pass the lips of any child, and particularly our
delicate child, between meals. Let him come to the table at half past
seven or eight o'clock, and if he does not want to eat tell him
frankly that that is all he is to receive until twelve--and stick to
it. Nothing more than water or fruit juices should be taken between
meals.

It may be necessary to create an appetite for the three meals we have
just described, and as we now take up the outdoor hygiene we would not
forget that some simple treatment should be instituted each day in a
well-heated bathroom or bedroom. Roller skating or ice skating,
hoop-rolling, rope-skipping, and Irish mail, or a coaster, all furnish
splendid exercise for the delicate child. Under no circumstances
should he be allowed to remain all the time in the house; and so
pleasing recreations must be provided for him out of doors. The sand
pile should not be forgotten, flower-bed making, raking the lawn, a
polished coasting board fastened in a slanting position to an upright
which can be mounted by means of a ladder, create splendid outdoor
sports for these children.

THE DAILY PROGRAM

Take the child into a warm bathroom each morning and let him stand in
six inches of well-warmed water. With a rough mitten made out of
either mohair, crash, or turkish towel, the entire body should now be
rubbed until it is pink. This procedure is known as a dry-friction
rub. Do not stop until the skin is pink, particularly the arms and
legs, for the back and chest usually get pink quickly. Then with
simply a cold dash of water to the feet, dry them well and allow him
to dress. Twenty minutes before the meal hour, let him get out of the
house and roller skate around the square as many times as he can in
twenty minutes, or let him race and have a royal good time in the
fresh morning air and then after this forced oxygen intake let him
come in to breakfast.

And now for school, and as we say "school," we regret that there are
not more "open-air schools." Some day the American people, more
particularly the American mothers, will awaken to the fact that we
need more schools with simply window space rather than so many closed
glass windows. Some day we will send our children with sweaters,
leggings, stockinet caps, mittens, even in the cool days of spring and
fall, to "open-air schools," and in the cool fresh air they will think
better and work faster and make wonderful progress in both studies and
appetites.

The particularly delicate child, under treatment, will not spend the
whole day in school. In all probability the forenoon session only will
be attended, after which the half-past-twelve or one-o'clock meal that
has been previously described will be given him. Now if the appetite
is variable, arrange a little surprise for him by serving this meal on
the porch or in the living-room by the open grate, or out under the
trees. In all probability such a meal will be taken eagerly,
particularly if the mother will read a pretty story. Now the afternoon
is to be spent in doing a number of different things. We would like a
pleasant walk, a visit to the park, hoop-rolling, roller-skating,
rope-skipping, ice-skating, outdoor sliding, anything that will take
our little fellow out of doors to increase his oxygen intake until
possibly the half-past-three hour is reached, when he should come into
the house and lie down and prepare for the treatment for that
particular day.

TREATMENT SUGGESTIONS

Twice a week he should be given a salt glow (described in the
Appendix). Twice a week he should be given a thorough soap shampoo
(also described in the Appendix). After each of these baths a special
rub should be administered to the spine, and as there is so often
spinal curvature in these children, certain stretching movements of
the spine are valuable, together with hot fomentations (see Appendix)
over the spinal centers. These are wonderful stimulants to the
delicate child and should precede the salt glow twice a week. Every
afternoon a hot-and-cold foot bath may be given to create a better
circulation. The feet are put in hot water from three to five minutes
(as hot as can be borne), and then they are quickly plunged into the
coldest water obtainable for three seconds, then back into the hot
water, and vice versa, until three changes have been made, always
finishing the treatment with the cold dip. On the three remaining days
of the week at half past three, the child will simply relax in the
hammock or on the porch couch while the mother aids in the relaxation
by a pleasant story. We would suggest that on Monday the salt glow be
administered; Tuesday a rest is taken; Wednesday the soap shampoo is
to be administered; Thursday another rest; Friday a salt glow;
Saturday another rest, and Sunday the shampoo, etc.

Before going to bed at night, with the mother's hands well oiled with
either olive or sweet oil, the circulation is again stimulated by the
heavy friction rub.

Constipation is taken care of along the same lines as mentioned
elsewhere in this book.

It is surprising to see how often these delicate children are infested
by worms, and while a great deal of dependence cannot be put in that
single symptom "grinding the teeth at night," or "pallor around the
mouth," yet we do believe that many a delicate child continues to
suffer from worms many years. It is a very simple procedure to obtain
a specimen of the stools. A cathartic should be given and after usual
free-bowel movement, the second time the child desires to go to stool
this should be saved and taken to the laboratory for a careful search
for worm eggs which are usually in evidence if worms infest the child.
The treatment for worms is described elsewhere in this work.

We have seen scores of young people between the ages of eight and
eleven who, before treatment, were pale, listless, under weight,
irritable and cross, after three months of such treatment as has been
outlined gain six to ten pounds and look as ruddy as their healthiest
neighborhood friends. It is perfectly marvelous to notice how a child
will put on from six to eight pounds in a short period, at the same
time overcoming his irritableness and fretfulness. I am more and more
inclined to believe that most bad children are sick children--are
undernourished children--and it behooves us American mothers and
fathers to give proper attention to this undernourished child, call a
halt, and devote three months to giving him the help that he needs. He
did not ask to come into this world; and it is "up to us" to give this
child what he deserves--for every child in this world has a right to
be well born, to be well fed, and to be well reared.

CHAPTER XL

TEACHING TRUTH

We confidently believe that most of the sex immorality seen in young
people is more or less the result of ignorance and curiosity;
therefore we most earnestly desire in this chapter to portray so
interestingly the beautiful story of life as seen in the vegetable and
animal world, that our mother-readers will be seized with the great
desire wisely to convey to the young child's mind this sublime and
beautiful story. The questions most naturally arising in the mind of
the reader at this time are: When shall we begin to tell this story?
How shall we tell it? Where shall we begin? Where shall we stop?
Realizing full well that the subject is usually handled prematurely
and with unpreparedness, we will attempt in this chapter to discuss it
with courage and candor, believing that there is a right way, a right
time, and a right place to impart this information.

A LESSON FROM NATURE

When the little folks are about three or four years of age, when
confidence and trust are at their height, they often come to us
begging for a "story;" and this is the golden opportunity for the
parent or caretaker to tell them the story of Mr. and Mrs. Corn, and
all their little babies; or Mr. and Mrs. Morning Glory and their
little folks. There are a score of other equally interesting and
instructive botanical stories which are just as beautiful in their
sublimity, and fairy-like in their personality. The little children's
eyes grow big with wonder as you tell the story of a whole township of
families by the name of Corn (See Fig. 17), who have their residences
out in the wide country fields.

[Illustration: Fig. 17]

[Illustration: Fig. 18]

We will first introduce the child to Mr. Corn, the tassel, waving
proudly and majestically in the breezes, and seeming to say: "I am
master of all I survey." The little fellow is filled with wonderment
as he learns how the clouds give up their drops of water to quench his
thirst and how the sun smiles upon him to yellow his beard; and how
the wonderful all-important _pollen_ is developed and ripened.

Often the child eagerly asks, "And where, mamma, is Mrs. Corn?" and to
that interested upturned face we relate the pleasing story of the
beautiful silken tresses of Mother Corn. Early in her life she is a
beautiful shade of green, and as she thus gracefully hangs out from
the ear of corn, day by day the smiles of sunshine turn this mother
corn to brown, and then to a still darker shade.

"And where, mamma, are the babies?" the child next inquires; and, as
we take the ear of corn, removing the outer clothing--the husks--we
find the underclothing, a much lighter shade of green, and here now we
are in close contact with the babies themselves--the kernels--and to
each little kernel or baby corn we find mamma closely clinging. Here
is a beautiful opportunity to teach mother-love and mother
watchfulness, as also the opportunity to draw lessons from the baby
kernels sitting there in even rows, with their faces clean, silently
contented--just doing their duty. The stories that may be told are
limitless, and possibly as interesting as are the myths and
fairy-tales, yet all the while as true as truth itself, with no
fakery, no legends--just simple truth.

THE ALL IMPORTANT POLLEN

Now on a second trip into the cornfield, another story may be told of
the important work of the pollen. This "father part" of the plant
falls upon the silken tresses of the "mother part," by which the
pollen is carried down to the sleeping corn-baby seeds--the kernels.
And when the "corn dust" does reach the sleeping seeds a great change
begins to take place. This change is known to the adult as
"impregnation;" to the little child it may be presented as "an
awakening" of the sleeping seeds, so that they begin to grow, to
develop, to expand and push out, until we have the full-grown seeds
seen in the delicious and juicy roasting ear.

Sometimes, in the case of the larger plants and trees, Father Tree may
be miles and miles away from Mother Tree and so this all important
pollen must be carried by the wind or by the bees, and as it blows
against the mother part of the plant-flower she catches it and pushes
it downward to the seed babies. The wind scatters the pollen of the
oak tree, the hazlenut, the walnut, the birch, the willow and many
others; for, without the good kind wind or the bees, the pollen would
never find its way to many a mother flower, and the "fertilization" of
the seed could not take place.

THE MORNING GLORY FAMILY

Perhaps the story of life can be told as beautifully from the
morning-glory as from any other flower. Here the beautiful flower cup
is the home of Father and Mother Morning-Glory and all their little
babies. (See Fig. 18).

As we carefully take away their little home, the flower cup, we have
left a little green cup, and coming up from the center you will see
five little stems, every one of them wearing a hat of powder or pollen
and this--if you please--is Papa Morning-Glory. Look closely and you
will see coming up from the center of these five stems (stamens) one
central stalk without a hat, Mother Morning-Glory, known in botany as
the "pistil"; and as you follow down this pistil you will find an
enlarged part at the base, which is known as the cradle-nest--the home
of the seed babies.

Little was known about this wonderful fertilization of the seeds by
the pollen two hundred years ago, and a whole century passed before
the secret of the blossom and the bees was discovered; and even then
it was not fully realized how great was the work of the bees in
cross-fertilization. Nor was it understood that the beautiful blossom
of the flower, with its sweet nectar, was an exceedingly important
factor in attracting the bees. Another century passed before Darwin
gave to the world the story of the great work performed by the bees in
cross-fertilization--in carrying the pollen from flower to flower,
for it is now a well-known fact that all of the blossoms visited by
the bees produce better fruit and better flowers.

In the flower where the father and mother part matures at the same
time, self-fertilization is the rule. Cross-fertilization occurs in
instances where either the father part or mother part ripen at
different times, in these cases the pollen is carried from plant to
plant by the wind or by the nectar-seeking bees. These busy bees, with
their fluffy little feet and fuzzy coats, become completely covered
with this all-important flower dust, and in seeking nectar from other
flowers they leave the "awakening dust" behind, and thus
cross-fertilization takes place; new types of babies are produced, new
generations of fruits and flowers.

HOW MOTHER NATURE WORKS

Dr. Chadwick, in her _Blossom Babies_, gives us a beautiful recital
concerning the fertilization of plants, which provides an endless
number of interesting stories. The water plants are very interesting
in that the pollen is just light enough to float on the exact level of
the mother part of the flower, otherwise fertilization could never
take place, and there would be no more lovely lilies. Long throated
blossoms are fertilized by their attraction for certain moths or
humming birds who have long tongues. Mother Nature is exceedingly
careful to reproduce her children, and in every conceivable way she
sees to it that her plant-seeds are fertilized and distributed. We are
all familiar with the dandelion and the thistle and a host of others
which fly through the air with actual plumes, some seeds fly with
wings, such as the maple; other seeds travel by clinging or sticking,
such as the cockle burr; still others float and shoot; while we all
know about a lot of seeds that are good to eat, such as the nuts and
fruits, as well as many of the grains, such as corn, etc.

An incubator about hatching time is a wonderful object lesson in
teaching the story of life. Take the children to visit one and let
them actually see the live baby chicks coming forth from the
seed-shells. Other wonderful lessons may be drawn from the mother
horse or the mother cow; and it is impossible to portray the close
companionship, the sublime trust and confidence, which exists between
the mother and the child who have been bound together by these ties
and sentiments of truthfulness, trustfulness, and frankness.

THE SALMON FAMILY

The little fellow is daily learning that everything that grows comes
from a seed, even the salmon which was eaten at lunch yesterday was
the text for an impressive story about Papa and Mamma Salmon. In the
beautiful Columbia river Mother Salmon is swimming about quietly
seeking a shallow place in the stream where she may deposit her
cluster of baby seeds, which looks very much like a mass of tapioca
pudding as they gently sink to the bed of a shallow spot in the river.
There they lay "sound asleep" until Father Salmon, swimming by, is
attracted to the spot and, hesitating, talks something like this to
himself: "Why the idea, here are some helpless fish-baby seeds, they
can't grow and develop without me, here they are sound asleep;" and,
nestling over them, he contributes the self-same and all important
"something"--comparable to the pollen of the plants--which wakes them
up. In the case of the fish the "awakening" substance is not in the
form of a powder as in the plant world; but is in the form of a
semi-liquid mass, much resembling the white of an egg. The little
seeds soon begin to tremble--begin to wake up--and then begin to swell
and grow and develop. In a few days what do you suppose happens to
these little bulging baby seeds? The very same thing that happened to
the chick seed--they burst and out come hundreds of cute little fish
minnows. In just a few hours they are all swimming about in a most
wonderful fish-like manner.

EARLY QUESTIONS

Some day you will be surprised by your little child suddenly asking
you some such question as this: "Mother, where did I come from?" while
in the same frank manner you reply: "Why from your mamma, of course;
where do you think you could have come from? Everything that grows
comes from its mamma--oranges, apples, radishes, cabbages, cats,
dogs, and chickies--everything that grows has to have a mamma and
papa," and they are often satisfied with this answer for a long time.
No child should go to kindergarten without knowing that he came from
his mother, and this knowledge should come to him from his own
mother's lips. These are different days than those in which our
grandmothers lived. The spirit of investigation and of inquiry is in
the air. The moving-picture show makes it necessary for children of
nine or ten to understand these things--to have a knowledge of certain
of the conventionalities of life. Twenty years ago this may not have
been so necessary--the youth of that day might have waited several
years longer for certain phases of his sex instruction. It is highly
important that this knowledge be obtained from a wise and pure and
sympathetic mind--from the child's own parents.

One mother put her little girl's questions off week after week,
saying: "I will tell you when you get older, dear--no, not now, dear;
run away, you are not old enough to know such things, you must forget
about them." Thus the unprepared mother sought to gain time in which
to consult the doctor or the library. Finally the day came when the
mother felt that she was sufficiently wise to answer the query, "Where
did I come from," and so with her heart in her throat she approached
her daughter, saying: "Come, Mary, mother is going to tell you all
about it. I am now ready to answer your question." Imagine her
surprise and astonishment when Mary said: "Oh, you needn't mind,
mother, Kate told me all about it last week." Now the question in my
mind is: how did Kate tell her? How much unnecessary information did
this older and experienced Kate put into the pure mind of this
innocent little girl?

ONE MOTHER'S AWAKENING

One mother in a western state--a county superintendent of
schools--told us the following interesting story of her own
experience, which we think may be of help to some of our mother
readers.

One morning her seven-year old son rushed into the house exclaiming:
"Oh, mother, there is a new calf out in the barn, and I know where it
came from; I saw a wagon load of calves come by here yesterday, and
one of them must have dropped off, for it is right out there in the
barn with old Bess this minute."

The mother was very busy with her papers and her reports, and she let
the incident pass with a smile, thinking it was a very pretty little
story. A week later the six-year old brother came in saying: "Mother,
I think there must have been another wagon load of calves passed by,
and one must have been lost off, for old Nell is cleaning up a little
calf out in the barn for all she is worth," while the older brother
piped up: "Sure, it was another load of calves; that is just exactly
the way the other calf got here;" and the two little fellows went off
to school.

About a month later that county superintendent suddenly became a much
wiser mother than she was before, although her heart was made to ache.
Both boys came home from school one day and the older one met her with
something like this: "I am mad! I've been lied to; all the fellows at
school say I have, and they are making sport of me, too," and with a
glare in his reddened eye he continued, "You know that new calf did
not come off that wagon; you know that calf came from old Bess
herself; all the fellows say so at school, and they are making all
kinds of fun of me, and I don't want to go back. I'd like to run away
from home." The mother quietly drew the boy to her side and reminded
him that she had simply listened; that she had not opened her mouth;
that he came into the room and told about the incident himself, but
this did not satisfy him. He turned to her wounded and crushed,
saying: "Well, you let a fellow believe it, and that's just as bad;"
and this educated mother--this trusted custodian of a county full of
school children--beseeched me to warn mothers everywhere to teach
their children the truth, and to never let a child go to school with a
sex misunderstanding. She told me that it took her six months to get
that boy's confidence back again.

DON'T GET SHOCKED

I believe that many mothers make the sad mistake of showing the child
that they are shocked by trivial sayings and trifling experiences of
their little people. If we could only get it into our heads for once
and for all that our children are born into this world veritable
little thieves and falsifiers, as well as adventurers and explorers,
we would then cease being so shocked and outraged by their frank
statements of what they have heard or have done. Let the mother listen
to all these things with calmness, while she seeks to direct the
child's mind in pure and elevated channels--to help him upward by
imparting "precept upon precept; here a little and there a little."

Children will come in with stories that at first thought do greatly
shock the parent; but under no circumstances should the boy or girl
discover that the parent is shocked, for if he does he will not likely
come again with another such "shocking" difficulty. One mother told me
that her seven-year-old boy, beginning third grade, came into her
bedroom one morning saying: "Mother, I am just busting to say
something," and this mother very wisely said, "Well, say it; certainly
I don't want you to burst," and she told me that this boy whispered to
her three of the filthiest words that he could possibly have heard on
the streets. In relating this experience to me she said: "Do you know,
doctor, that I really did not know what to think at first, but I
remembered that you had taught me never to be shocked, and so I looked
up and asked: "Do you feel better?" whereupon he breathed a big sigh
and exclaimed: "What a relief! I have just been busting to say that to
somebody." Mother, to whom would you rather he would say these things?
to you, or to some little girl out on the street, or to some older
boy? Think what trouble and possible mischief were avoided by
whispering into the sympathetic ear of mother. This wise mother turned
to that little boy and said: "Son, that ear is always waiting for just
such things and whenever you feel like saying something--like getting
it off your mind--you just come to me;" and he came repeatedly. One
time he came in saying: "I don't know whether you want me to play with
Harold or not; he does some of those things you told me about the
other day." And the mother thoughtfully and wisely looked up and said:
"Did he do it in front of his mother? Why of course he didn't. Did he
ask you to go into the bedroom or bathroom and lock the door?" and the
little fellow quickly answered: "Why sure he did; how did you guess
it?" and added "now I suppose you are not going to let me play with
him any more," and this wise mother, knowing that if she denied him
this privilege that it would quite likely be frequently sought, said:
"Why, certainly play with Harold in the open, but whenever he suggests
secrecy--" she did not have time to finish the sentence, the boy said:
"I am wise; whenever he gets to doing that 'funny business' I'll
skiddoo." The confidence between that mother and son, to my mind, was
wonderfully sublime--all the while practical and helpful in his daily
training.

DON'T REPULSE THE CHILD

A little older child sees the fowls, the dogs, or the cats, "mating,"
and then, rushing into the house, inquires what it is all about; and
unless the mother is on her guard some older member of the family may
show surprise and thus thoughtlessly convey to the child's mind that
his question is improper and entirely out of place. To the question,
"What are they doing, mamma?" quietly answer, "Just mating, dear, just
as the flowers mate; everything that lives or grows comes as the
result of mating."

Suppose that you were repulsed every time you approached a dear
friend, your husband, or some other member of the family? Take, for
instance, the matter of a caress or an embrace--how would you react to
repeated rebuff? And so with the little child; he comes into this
world full of confidence and trust, full of wonder and curiosity;
possessed with the spirit of exploration and investigation--everywhere
and all the time he asks questions. Usually, his questions are
answered thoughtfully and without hesitancy, except along the line of
one thought--that of sex. Do not think for one moment that he is
satisfied by your evasive answers. You have but to recall your own
childhood experiences, and remember that today the moving picture
show and general public sentiment has placed the age for such
knowledge from one to five years earlier in this generation than in
the past. I do not care what the child comes into your presence with,
be it the most shocking thing in this world, do not under any
circumstances let it disturb your mental poise, or raise your ire or
shock you; for if you do, then and there--at that moment--occurs a
break in the sublime confidence which the child reposes in you.

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