The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night, Volume 4

R >> Richard F. Burton >> The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night, Volume 4

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"Men and dogs together are all gone by, * So peace be with all of
them! dogs and men!'

And Allah is All knowing! Again men tell the tale of

THE SHARPER OF ALEXANDRIA AND THE CHIEF OF
POLICE.

There was once in the coast-fortress of Alexandria, a Chief of
Police, Husam al-Din highs, the sharp Scymitar of the Faith. Now
one night as he sat in his seat of office, behold, there came in
to him a trooper-wight who said, "Know, O my lord the Chief, that
I entered your city this night and alighted at such a khan and
slept there till a third part of the night was past when I awoke
and found my saddle-bags sliced open and a purse of a thousand
gold pieces stolen from them." No sooner had he done speaking
than the Chief summoned his chief officials and bade them lay
hands on all in the khan and clap them in limbo till the morning;
and on the morrow, he caused bring the rods and whips used in
punishment, and, sending for the prisoners, was about to flog
them till they confessed in the presence of the owner of the
stolen money when, lo! a man broke through the crowd till he came
up to the Chief of Police,--And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of
day and ceased saying her permitted say.

When it was the Three Hundred and Forty-second Night,

She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that the Chief
was about to flog them when lo! a man broke through the crowd
till he came up to the Chief of Police and the trooper and said;
"Ho! Emir, let these folk go, for they are wrongously accused. It
was I who robbed this trooper, and see, here is the purse I stole
from his saddle-bags." So saying, he pulled out the purse from
his sleeve and laid it before Husam al-Din, who said to the
soldier, "Take thy money and pouch it; thou now hast no ground of
complaint against the people of the khan." Thereupon these folk
and all who were present fell to praising the thief and blessing
him; but he said, "Ho! Emir, the skill is not in that I came to
thee in person and brought thee the purse; the cleverness was in
taking it a second time from this trooper." Asked the Chief, "And
how didst thou do to take it, O sharper?"; and the robber
replied, "O Emir, I was standing in the Shroff's[FN#396] bazar at
Cairo, when I saw this soldier receive the gold in change and put
it in yonder purse; so I followed him from by-street to by-
street, but found no occasion of stealing it. Then he travelled
from Cairo and I followed him from town to town, plotting and
planning by the way to rob him, but without avail, till he
entered this city and I dogged him to the khan. I took up my
lodging beside him and watched him till he fell asleep and I
heard him sleeping; when I went up to him softly, softly; and I
slit open his saddle-bags with this knife, and took the purse in
the way I am now taking it." So saying, he put out his hand and
took the purse from before the Chief of Police and the trooper,
both of whom, together with the folk, drew back watching him and
thinking he would show them how he took the purse from the
saddle-bags. But, behold! he suddenly broke into a run and threw
himself into a pool of standing water[FN#397] hard by. So the
Chief of the Police shouted to his officers, "Stop thief!" and
many made after him; but before they could doff their clothes and
descend the steps, he had made off; and they sought for him, but
found him not; for that the by-streets and lanes of Alexandria
all communicate. So they came back without bringing the purse;
and the Chief of Police said to the trooper, "Thou hast no demand
upon the folk; for thou fondest him who robbed thee and
receivedst back thy money, but didst not keep it." So the trooper
went away, having lost his money, whilst the folk were delivered
from his hands and those of the Chief of Police, and all this was
of the favour of Almighty Allah.[FN#398] And they also tell the
tale of

AL-MALIK AL-NASIR AND THE THREE CHIEFS OF
POLICE.

Once upon a time Al-Malik al-Nasir[FN#399] sent for the Walis or
Chiefs of Police of Cairo, Bulak, and Fostat[FN#400] and said to
them, "I desire each of you to recount me the marvellousest thing
that hath befallen him during his term of office."--And Shahrazad
perceived the dawn of day and ceased to say her permitted say.

When it was the Three Hundred and Forty-third Night,

She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that quoth
Al-Malik al-Nasir to the three Walis, "I desire each of you to
recount me the marvellousest thing which hath befallen him during
his term of office." So they answered, "We hear and we obey."
Then said the Chief of the Police of Cairo, "Know thou, O our
lord the Sultan, the most wonderful thing that befel me, during
my term of office, was on this wise:" and he began

The Story of the Chief of Police of Cairo.

"There were in this city two men of good repute fit to bear
witness[FN#401] in matters of murder and wounds; but they were
both secretly addicted to intrigues with low women and to wine-
bibbing and to dissolute doings, nor could I succeed (do what I
would) in bringing them to book, and I began to despair of
success. So I charged the taverners and confectioners and
fruiterers and candle-chandlers and the keepers of brothels and
bawdy houses to acquaint me of these two good men whenever they
should anywhere be engaged in drinking or other debauchery, or
together or apart; and ordered that, if they both or if either of
them bought at their shops aught for the purpose of wassail and
carousel, the vendors should not conceal-it from me. And they
replied, 'We hear and obey.' Presently it chanced that one night,
a man came to me and said, 'O my master, know that the two just
men, the two witnesses, are in such a street in such a house,
engaged in abominable wickedness.' So I disguised myself, I and
my body-servant, and ceased not trudging till I came to the house
and knocked at the door, whereupon a slave-girl came out and
opened to me, saying, 'Who art thou?' I entered without answering
her and saw the two legal-witnesses and the house-master sitting,
and lewd women by their side and before them great plenty of
wine. When they saw me, they rose to receive me, and made much of
me, seating me in the place of honour and saying to me, 'Welcome
for an illustrious guest and well come for a pleasant cup-
companion!' And on this wise they met me without showing a sign
of alarm or trouble. Presently, the master of the house arose
from amongst us and went out and returned after a while with
three hundred dinars, when the men said to me, without the least
fear, 'Know, O our lord the Wali, it is in thy power to do even
more than disgrace and punish us; but this will bring thee in
return nothing but weariness: so we reck thou wouldest do better
to take this much money and protect us; for Almighty Allah is
named the Protector and loveth those of His servants who protect
their Moslem neighbours; and thou shalt have thy reward in this
world and due recompense in the world to come.' So I said to
myself, 'I will take the money and protect them this once, but,
if ever again I have them in my power, I will take my wreak of
them;' for, you see, the money had tempted me. Thereupon I took
it and went away thinking that no one would know it; but, next
day, on a sudden one of the Kazi's messengers came to me and said
to me, 'O Wali, be good enough to answer the summons of the Kazi
who wanteth thee.' So I arose and accompanied him, knowing not
the meaning of all this; and when I came into the judge's
presence, I saw the two witnesses and the master of the house,
who had given me the money, sitting by his side. Thereupon this
man rose and sued me for three hundred dinars, nor was it in my
power to deny the debt; for he produced a written obligation and
his two companions, the legal witnesses, testified against me
that I owed the amount. Their evidence satisfied the Kazi and he
ordered me to pay the sum, nor did I leave the Court till they
had of me the three hundred gold pieces. So I went away, in the
utmost wrath and shame, vowing mischief and vengeance against
them and repenting that I had not punished them. Such, then is
the most remarkable event which befel me during my term of
office." Thereupon rose the Chief of the Bulak Police and said,
"As for me, O our lord the Sultan, the most marvellous thing that
happened to me, since I became Wali, was as follows:" and he
began

The Story of the Chief of the Bulak Police.

"I was once in debt to the full amount of three hundred thousand
gold pieces;[FN#402] and, being distressed thereby, I sold all
that was behind me and what was before me and all I hent in hand,
but I could collect no more than an hundred thousand dinars"--And
Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased saying her
permitted say.

When it was the Three Hundred and Forty-fourth Night,

She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that the Wali of
Bulak continued: "So I sold all that was behind and before me,
but could collect no more than an hundred thousand dinars and
remained in great perplexity. Now one night, as I sat at home in
this state, behold, there came a knocking; so I said to one of my
servants, 'See who is at the door.' He went out and returned, wan
of face, changed in countenance and with his side-muscles a-
quivering; so I asked him, 'What aileth thee?'; and he answered,
'There is a man at the door; he is half naked, clad in skins,
with sword in hand and knife in girdle, and with him are a
company of the same fashion and he asketh for thee.' So I took my
sword and going out to see who these were, behold, I found them
as the boy had reported and said to them, 'What is your
business?' They replied, 'Of a truth we be thieves and have done
fine work this night; so we appointed the swag to thy use, that
thou mayst pay therewith the debts which sadden thee and deliver
thee from thy distress.' Quoth I, 'Where is the plunder?'; and
they brought me a great chest, full of vessels of gold and
silver; which when I saw, I rejoiced and said to myself,
'Herewith I will settle all claims upon me and there will remain
as much again.' So I took the money and going inside said in my
mind, 'It were ignoble to let them fare away empty-handed.'
Whereupon I brought out the hundred thousand dinars I had by me
and gave it to them, thanking them for their kindness; and they
pouched the monies and went their way, under cover of the night
so that none might know of them. But when morning dawned I
examined the contents of the chest, and found them copper and
tin[FN#403] washed with gold worth five hundred dirhams at the
most; and this was grievous to me, for I had lost what monies I
had and trouble was added to my trouble. Such, then, is the most
remarkable event which befel me during my term of office." Then
rose the Chief of the Police of Old Cairo and said, "O our lord
the Sultan, the most marvellous thing that happened to me, since
I became Wali, was on this wise;" and he began

The Story of the Chief of the Old Cairo Police.

"I once hanged ten thieves each on his own gibbet, and especially
charged the guards to watch them and hinder the folk from taking
any one of them down. Next morning when I came to look at them, I
found two bodies hanging from one gallows and said to the guards,
'Who did this, and where is the tenth gibbet?' But they denied
all knowledge of it, and I was about to beat them till they owned
the truth, when they said, 'Know, O Emir, that we fell asleep
last night, and when we awoke, we found that some one had stolen
one of the bodies, gibbet and all; so we were alarmed and feared
thy wrath. But, behold, up came a peasant-fellow driving his ass;
whereupon we laid hands on him and killed him and hanged his body
upon this gallows, in the stead of the thief who had been
stolen.'[FN#404] Now when I heard this, I marvelled and asked
them, 'What had he with him?'; and they answered, 'He had a pair
of saddle-bags on the ass.' Quoth I, 'What was in them?'; quoth
they, 'We know not.' So I said, 'Bring them hither;' and when
they brought them to me I bade open them, behold, therein was the
body of a murdered man, cut in pieces. Now as soon as I saw this,
I marvelled at the case and said in myself, 'Glory to God! The
cause of the hanging of this peasant was none other but his crime
against this murdered man; and thy Lord is not unjust towards His
servants.'"[FN#405] And men also tell the tale of

THE THIEF AND THE SHROFF.

A certain Shroff, bearing a bag of gold pieces, once passed by a
company of thieves, and one of these sharpers said to the others,
"I, and I only, have the power to steal yonder purse." So they
asked, "How wilt thou do it?"; and he answered, "Look ye all!";
and followed the money-changer, till he entered his house, when
he threw the bag on a shelf[FN#406] and, being affected with
diabetes, went into the chapel of ease to do his want, calling to
the slave-girl, "Bring me an ewer of water." She took the ewer
and followed him to the privy, leaving the door open, whereupon
the thief entered and, seizing the money-bag, made off with it to
his companions, to whom he told what had passed.--And Shahrazad
perceived the dawn of day and ceased to say her permitted say.

When it was the Three Hundred and Forty-fifth Night,

She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that the thief
took the money-bag and made off with it to his companions to whom
he told what had passed. Said they, "By Allah, thou hast played a
clever trick! ''tis not every one could do it; but, presently the
money-changer will come out of the privy; and missing the bag of
money, he will beat the slave-girl and torture her with grievous
torture. 'Tis as though thou hast at present done nothing worthy
of praise; so, if thou be indeed a sharper, return and save the
girl from being beaten and questioned." Quoth he, ' Inshallah! I
will save both girl and purse." Then the prig went back to the
Shroff's house and found him punishing the girl because of the
purse; so he knocked at the door and the man said, "Who is
there?" Cried the thief, "I am the servant of thy neighbour in
the Exchange;" whereupon he came out to him and said, "What is
thy business?" The thief replied, "My master saluteth thee and
saith to thee: 'Surely thou art deranged and thoroughly so, to
cast the like of this bag of money down at the door of thy shop
and go away and leave it.' Had a stranger hit upon it he had made
off with it and, except my master had seen it and taken care of
it, it had assuredly been lost to thee." So saying, he pulled out
the purse and showed it to the Shroff who on seeing it said,
"That is my very purse," and put out his hand to take it; but the
thief said, "By Allah, I will not give thee this same, till thou
write me a receipt declaring that thou hast received it! for
indeed I fear my master will not believe that thou hast recovered
the purse, unless I bring him thy writing to that effect, and
sealed with thy signet-seal." The money changer went in to write
the paper required; and in the meantime the thief made off with
the bag of money and thus was the slave-girl saved her beating.
And men also tell a tale of

THE CHIEF OF THE KUS POLICE AND THE SHARPER.

It is related that Ala al-Din, Chief of Police at Kus,[FN#407]
was sitting one night in his house, when behold, a personage of
handsome appearance and dignified aspect came to the door,
accompanied by a servant bearing a chest upon his head and,
standing there said to one of the Wali's young men, "Go in and
tell the Emir that I would have audience of him on some privy
business." So the servant went in and told his master, who bade
admit the visitor. When he entered, the Emir saw him to be a man
of handsome semblance and portly presence; so he received him
with honour and high distinction, seating him beside himself, and
said to him, "What is thy wish?" Replied the stranger, "I am a
highwayman and am minded to repent at thy hands and turn to
Almighty Allah; but I would have thee help me to this, for that I
am in thy district and under thine inspection. Now I have here a
chest, wherein are matters worth some forty thousand dinars; and
none hath so good a right to it as thou; so do thou take it and
give me in exchange a thousand dinars, of thine own monies
lawfully gotten, that I may have a little capital, to aid me in
my repentance,[FN#408] and save me from resorting to sin for my
subsistence; and with Allah Almighty be thy reward!" Speaking
thus he opened the chest and showed the Wali that it was full of
trinkets and jewels and bullion and ring-gems and pearls, whereat
he was amazed and rejoiced with great joy. So he cried out to his
treasurer, saying, "Bring hither a certain purse containing a
thousand dinars,"--And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and
ceased to say her permitted say.

When it was the Three Hundred and Forty-sixth Night,

She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that the Wali
cried out to his treasurer, saying "Bring hither a certain purse
containing a thousand dinars; and gave it to the highwayman, who
took it and thanking him, went his way under cover of the night.
Now when it was the morrow, the Emir sent for the chief of the
goldsmiths and showed him the chest and what was therein; but the
goldsmith found it nothing but tin and brass, and the jewels and
bezel stones and pearls all of glass; whereat the Wali was sore
chagrined and sent in quest of the highwayman; but none could
come at him. And men also tell the tale of

IBRAHIM BIN AL-MAHDI AND THE MERCHANT'S
SISTER.

The Caliph Al-Maamun once said to his uncle Ibrahim bin Al-Mahdi,
"Tell us the most remarkable thing that thou hast ever seen."
Answered he: "I hear and obey, O Commander of the Faithful. Know
that I rode out one day, a-pleasuring, and my ride brought me to
a place where I smelt the reek of food. So my soul longed for it
and I halted, O Prince of True Believers, perplexed and unable
either to go on or to go in. Presently, I raised my eyes and lo!
I espied a lattice-window and behind it a wrist, than which I
never beheld aught lovelier. The sight turned my brain and I
forgot the smell of the food and began to plan and plot how I
should get access to the house. After awhile, I observed a tailor
hard by and going up to him, saluted him. He returned my salam
and I asked him, 'Whose house is that?' And he answered, 'It
belongeth to a merchant called such an one, son of such an one,
who consorteth with none save merchants.' As we were talking,
behold, up came two men, of comely aspect with intelligent
countenances, riding on horseback; and the tailor told me that
they were the merchant's most intimate friends and acquainted me
with their names. So I urged my beast towards them and said to
them, 'Be I your ransom! Abu Fulan[FN#409] awaiteth you!'; and I
rode with them both to the gate, where I entered and they also.
Now when the master of the house saw me with them he doubted not
but I was their friend; so he welcomed me and seated me in the
highest stead. Then they brought the table of food and I said in
myself, 'Allah hath granted me my desire of the food; and now
there remain the hand and the wrist.' After awhile, we removed
for carousel to another room, which I found tricked out with all
manner of rarities; and the host paid me particular attention,
addressing his talk to me, for that he took me to be a guest of
his guests; whilst in like manner these two made much of me,
taking me for a friend of their friend the house-master. Thus I
was the object of politest attentions till we had drunk several
cups of wine and there came into us a damsel as she were a willow
wand of the utmost beauty and elegance, who took a lute and
playing a lively measure, sang these couplets,

'Is it not strange one house us two contain * And still thou
draw'st not near, or talk we twain?
Only our eyes tell secrets of our souls, * And broken hearts by
lovers' fiery pain;
Winks with the eyelids, signs the eyebrow knows; * Languishing
looks and hand saluting fain.'

When I heard these words my vitals were stirred, O Commander of
the Faithful, and I was moved to delight, for her excessive
loveliness and the beauty of the verses she sang; and I envied
her her skill and said, 'There lacketh somewhat to thee, O
damsel!' Whereupon she threw the lute from her hand in anger, and
cried, 'Since when are ye wont to bring ill-mannered louts into
your assemblies?' Then I repented of what I had done, seeing the
company vexed with me, and I said in my mind, 'My hopes are lost
by me'; and I weeted no way of escaping blame but to call for a
lute, saying, 'I will show you what escaped her in the air she
played.' Quoth the folk, 'We hear and obey'; so they brought me a
lute and I tuned the strings and sang these verses,

'This is thy friend perplexed for pain and pine, * Th' enamoured,
down whose breast course drops of brine:
He hath this hand to the Compassionate raised * For winning wish,
and that on hearts is lien:
O thou who seest one love-perishing, * His death is caused by
those hands and eyne!'[FN#410]

Whereupon the damsel sprang up and throwing herself at my feet,
kissed them and said, 'It is thine to excuse, O my Master! By
Allah, I knew not thy quality nor heard I ever the like of this
performance!' And all began extolling me and making much of me,
being beyond measure delighted' and at last they besought me to
sing again. So I sang a merry air, whereupon they all became
drunken with music and wine, their wits left them and they were
carried off to their homes, while I abode alone with the host and
the girl. He drank some cups with me and then said, 'O my lord,
my life hath been lived in vain for that I have not known the
like of thee till the present. Now, by Allah, tell me who thou
art, that I may ken who is the cup-companion whom Allah hath
bestowed on me this night.' At first I returned him evasive
answers and would not tell him my name; but he conjured me till I
told him who I was, whereupon he sprang to his feet"--And
Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased saying her
permitted say.

When it was the Three Hundred and Forty-seventh Night,

She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that Ibrahim son
of Al-Mahdi continued: "Now when the housemaster heard my name he
sprang to his feet and said, 'Indeed I wondered that such gifts
should belong to any but the like of thee; and Fortune hath done
me a good turn for which I cannot thank her too much. But, haply,
this is a dream; for how could I hope that one of the Caliphate
house should visit my humble home and carouse with me this
night?' I conjured him to be seated; so he sat down and began to
question me as to the cause of my visit in the most courteous
terms. So I told him the whole affair, first and last, hiding
naught, and said to him, 'Now as to the food I have had my will,
but of the hand and wrist I have still to win my wish.' Quoth he,
'Thou shalt have thy desire of the hand and wrist also,
Inshallah!' Then said he to the slave-girl, 'Ho, such an one, bid
such an one come down.' And he called his slave-girls down, one
by one and showed them to me; but I saw not my mistress among
them, and he said, 'O my lord, there is none left save my mother
and sister; but, by Allah, I must needs have them also down and
show them to thee.' So I marvelled at his courtesy and large
heartedness and said, 'May I be thy sacrifice! Begin with the
sister;' and he answered, 'With joy and goodwill.' So she came
down and he showed me her hand and behold, she was the owner of
the hand and wrist. Quoth I, 'Allah make me thy ransom! this is
the damsel whose hand and wrist I saw at the lattice.' Then he
sent his servants without stay or delay for witnesses and
bringing out two myriads[FN#411] of gold pieces, said to the
witnesses, 'This our lord and master, Ibrahim son of Al-Mahdi,
paternal-uncle of the Commander of the Faithful, seeketh in
marriage my sister such an one; and I call you to witness that I
give her in wedlock to him and that he hath settled upon her ten
thousand dinars.' And he said to me, 'I give thee my sister in
marriage, at the portion aforesaid.' 'I consent,' answered I,
'and am herewith content.' Whereupon he gave one of the bags to
her and the other to the witnesses, and said to me, 'O our lord,
I desire to adorn a chamber for thee, where thou mayst sleep with
thy wife.' But I was abashed at his generosity and was ashamed to
lie with her in his house; so I said, 'Equip her and send her to
my place.' And by thy being, O Commander of the Faithful, he sent
me with her such an equipage that my house, for all its
greatness, was too strait to hold it! And I begot on her this boy
that standeth in thy presence." Then Al-Maamun marvelled at the
man's generosity and said, "Gifted of Allah is he! Never heard I
of his like." And he bade Ibrahim bin al-Mahdi bring him to
court, that he might see him. He brought him and the Caliph
conversed with him; and his wit and good breeding so pleased him
that he made him one of his chief officers. And Allah is the
Giver, the Bestower! Men also relate the tale of

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