The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night, Volume 4

R >> Richard F. Burton >> The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night, Volume 4

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When it was the Two Hundred and Eighty-fourth Night,

She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that the sweep
continued, "When I entered that saloon I saw a person seated on a
couch of Indian rattan, with ivory feet and before her a number
of damsels. When she saw me she rose to me and called me; so I
went up to her and she seated me by her side. Then she bade her
slave-girls bring food, and they brought all manner of rich
meats, such as I never saw in all my life; I do not even know the
names of the dishes, much less their nature. So I ate my fill and
when the dishes had been taken away and we had washed our hands,
she called for fruits which came without stay or delay and
ordered me eat of them; and when we had ended eating she bade one
of the waiting-women bring the wine furniture. So they set on
flagons of divers kinds of wine and burned perfumes in all the
censers, what while a damsel like the moon rose and served us
with wine to the sound of the smitten strings; and I drank, and
the lady drank, till we were seized with wine and the whole time
I doubted not but that all this was an illusion of sleep.
Presently, she signed to one of the damsels to spread us a bed in
such a place, which being done, she rose and took me by the hand
and led me thither, and lay down and I lay with her till the
morning, and as often as I pressed her to my breast I smelt the
delicious fragrance of musk and other perfumes that exhaled from
her and could not think otherwise but that I was in Paradise or
in the vain phantasies of a dream. Now when it was day, she asked
me where I lodged and I told her, 'In such a place;' whereupon
she gave me leave to depart, handing to me a kerchief worked with
gold and silver and containing somewhat tied in it, and took
leave of me, saying, 'Go to the bath with this.' I rejoiced and
said to myself, 'If there be but five coppers here, it will buy
me this day my morning meal.' Then I left her, as though I were
leaving Paradise, and returned to my poor crib where I opened the
kerchief and found in it fifty miskals of gold. So I buried them
in the ground and, buying two farthings' worth of bread and
'kitchen,'[FN#184] seated me at the door and broke my fast; after
which I sat pondering my case and continued so doing till the
time of afternoon, prayer, when lo! a slave-girl accosted me
saying, 'My mistress calleth for thee.' I followed her to the
house aforesaid and, after asking permission, she carried me into
the lady, before whom I kissed the ground, and she commanded me
to sit and called for meat and wine as on the previous day; after
which I again lay with her all night. On the morrow, she gave me
a second kerchief, with other fifty dinars therein, and I took it
and going home, buried this also. In such pleasant condition I
continued eight days running, going in to her at the hour of
afternoon prayer and leaving her at daybreak; but, on the eighth
night, as I lay with her, behold, one of her slave-girls came
running in and said to me, 'Arise, go up into yonder closet.' So
I rose and went into the closet, which was over the gate, and
presently I heard a great clamour and tramp of horse; and,
looking out of the window which gave on the street in front of
the house, I saw a young man as he were the rising moon on the
night of fulness come riding up attended by a number of servants
and soldiers who were about him on foot. He alighted at the door
and entering the saloon found the lady seated on the couch; so he
kissed the ground between her hands then came up to her and
kissed her hands; but she would not speak to him. However, he
continued patiently to humble himself, and soothe her and speak
her fair, till he made his peace with her, and they lay together
that night."--And Shahrazed perceived the dawn of day and ceased
saying her permitted say.

When it was the Two Hundred and Eighty-fifth Night,

She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that the
scavenger continued, "Now when her husband had made his peace
with the young lady, he lay with her that night; and next
morning, the soldiers came for him and he mounted and rode away;
whereupon she drew near to me and said, 'Sawst thou yonder man?'
I answered, 'Yes;' and she said, 'He is my husband, and I will
tell thee what befell me with him. It came to pass one day that
we were sitting, he and I, in the garden within the house, and
behold, he rose from my side and was absent a long while, till I
grew tired of waiting and said to myself: Most like, he is in the
privy. So I arose and went to the water-closet, but not finding
him there, went down to the kitchen, where I saw a slave-girl;
and when I enquired for him, she showed him to me lying with one
of the cookmaids. Hereupon, I swore a great oath that I assuredly
would do adultery with the foulest and filthiest man in Baghdad;
and the day the eunuch laid hands on thee, I had been four days
going round about the city in quest of one who should answer to
this description, but found none fouler nor filthier than thy
good self. So I took thee and there passed between us that which
Allah fore ordained to us; and now I am quit of my oath.' Then
she added, 'If, however, my husband return yet again to the
cookmaid and lie with her, I will restore thee to thy lost place
in my favours.' Now when I heard these words from her lips, what
while she pierced my heart with the shafts of her glances, my
tears streamed forth, till my eyelids were chafed sore with
weeping, and I repeated the saying of the poet,

'Grant me the kiss of that left hand ten times; * And learn it
hath than right hand higher grade;[FN#185]
For 'tis but little since that same left hand * Washed off Sir
Reverence when ablution made.'

Then she made them give me other fifty dinars (making in all four
hundred gold pieces I had of her) and bade me depart. So I went
out from her and came hither, that I might pray Allah (extolled
and exalted be He!) to make her husband return to the cookmaid,
that haply I might be again admitted to her favours.' When the
Emir of the pilgrims heard the man's story, he set him free and
said to the bystanders, 'Allah upon you, pray for him, for indeed
he is excusable.'" And men also tell the tale of

THE MOCK CALIPH.

It is related that the Caliph Harun al-Rashid, was one night
restless with extreme restlessness, so he summoned his Wazir
Ja'afar the Barmecide, and said to him, "My breast is straitened
and I have a desire to divert myself to-night by walking about
the streets of Baghdad and looking into folks' affairs; but with
this precaution that we disguise ourselves in merchants' gear, so
none shall know us." He answered, "Hearkening and obedience."
They rose at once and doffing the rich raiment they wore, donned
merchants' habits and sallied forth three in number, the Caliph,
Ja'afar and Masrur the sworder. Then they walked from place to
place, till they came to the Tigris and saw an old man sitting in
a boat; so they went up to him and saluting him, said, "O Shaykh,
we desire thee of thy kindness and favour to carry us a-
pleasuring down the river, in this thy boat, and take this dinar
to thy hire."--And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased
saying her permitted say.

When it was the Two Hundred and Eighty-sixth Night,

She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that when they
said to the old man, "We desire thee to carry us a-pleasuring in
this thy boat and take this dinar;" he answered, "Who may go a-
pleasuring on the Tigris? The Caliph Harun al-Rashid every night
cometh down Tigris stream in his state-barge[FN#186] and with him
one crying aloud: 'Ho, ye people all, great and small, gentle and
simple, men and boys, whoso is found in a boat on the Tigris by
night, I will strike off his head or hang him to the mast of his
craft!' And ye had well nigh met him; for here cometh his
carrack." But the Caliph and Ja'afar said, "O Shaykh, take these
two dinars, and run us under one of yonder arches, that we may
hide there till the Caliph's barge have passed." The old man
replied, "Hand over your gold and rely we on Allah, the
Almighty!" So he took the two dinars and embarked them in the
boat; and he put off and rowed about with them awhile, when
behold, the barge came down the river in mid-stream, with lighted
flambeaux and cressets flaming therein. Quoth the old man, "Did
not I tell you that the Caliph passed along the river every
night?"; and ceased not muttering, "O Protector, remove not the
veils of Thy protection!" Then he ran the boat under an arch and
threw a piece of black cloth over the Caliph and his companions,
who looked out from under the covering and saw, in the bows of
the barge, a man holding in hand a cresset of red gold which he
fed with Sumatran lign-aloes and the figure was clad in a robe of
red satin, with a narrow turband of Mosul shape round on his
head, and over one of his shoulders hung a sleeved cloak[FN#187]
of cramoisy satin, and on the other was a green silk bag full of
the aloes-wood, with which he fed the cresset by way of firewood.
And they sighted in the stern another man, clad like the first
and bearing a like cresset, and in the barge were two hundred
white slaves, standing ranged to the right and left; and in the
middle a throne of red gold, whereon sat a handsome young man,
like the moon, clad in a dress of black, embroidered with yellow
gold. Before him they beheld a man, as he were the Wazir Ja'afar,
and at his head stood an eunuch, as he were Masrur, with a drawn
sword in his hand; besides a score of cup-companions. Now when
the Caliph saw this, he turned and said, "O Ja'afar," and the
Minister replied, "At thy service, O Prince of True Believers."
Then quoth the Caliph, "Belike this is one of my sons, Al Amin or
Al-Maamun." Then he examined the young man who sat on the throne
and finding him perfect in beauty and loveliness and stature and
symmetric grace, said to Ja'afar, "Verily, this young man abateth
nor jot nor tittle of the state of the Caliphate! See, there
standeth before him one as he were thyself, O Ja'afar; yonder
eunuch who standeth at his head is as he were Masrur and those
courtiers as they were my own. By Allah, O Ja'afar, my reason is
confounded and I am filled with amazement this matter!"--And
Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased to say her
permitted say.

When it was the Two Hundred and Eighty-seventh Night,

She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that when the
Caliph saw this spectacle his reason was confounded and he cried,
"By Allah, I am filled with amazement at this matter!" and
Ja'afar replied, "And I also, by Allah, O Commander of the
Faithful." Then the barge passed on and disappeared from sight
whereupon the boatman pushed out again into the stream, saying,
"Praised be Allah for safety, since none hath fallen in with us!"
Quoth the Caliph, "O old man, doth the Caliph come down the
Tigris-river every night?" The boatman answered, "Yes, O my lord;
and on such wise hath he done every night this year past." "O
Shaykh," rejoined Al-Rashid, "we wish thee of thy favour to await
us here to-morrow night and we will give thee five golden dinars,
for we are stranger folk, lodging in the quarter Al-Khandak, and
we have a mind to divert ourselves." Said the oldster, "With joy
and good will!" Then the Caliph and Ja'afar and Masrur left the
boatman and returned to the palace; where they doffed their
merchants' habits and, donning their apparel of state, sat down
each in his several-stead; and came the Emirs and Wazirs and
Chamberlains and Officers, and the Divan assembled and was
crowded as of custom. But when day ended and all the folk had
dispersed and wended each his own way, the Caliph said to his
Wazir, "Rise, O Ja'afar, let us go and amuse ourselves by looking
on the second Caliph." At this, Ja'afar and Masrur laughed, and
the three, donning merchants' habits, went forth by a secret
pastern and made their way through the city, in great glee, till
they came to the Tigris, where they found the graybeard sitting
and awaiting them. They embarked with him in the boat and hardly
had they sat down before up came the mock Caliph's barge; and,
when they looked at it attentively, they saw therein two hundred
Mamelukes other than those of the previous night, while the link-
bearers cried aloud as of wont. Quoth the Caliph, "O Wazir, had I
heard tell of this, I had not believed it; but I have seen it
with my own sight." Then said he to the boatman, "Take, O Shaykh'
these ten dinars and row us along abreast of them, for they are
in the light and we in the shade, and we can see them and amuse
ourselves by looking on them, but they cannot see us." So the man
took the money and pushing off ran abreast of them in the shadow
of the barge,--And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased
saying her permitted say.

When it was the Two Hundred and Eighty-eighth Night,

She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that the Caliph
Harun al-Rashid said to the old man, "Take these ten dinars and
row us abreast of them;" to which he replied, "I hear and I
obey." And he fared with them and ceased not going in the
blackness of the barge, till they came amongst the gardens that
lay alongside of them and sighted a large walled enclosure; and
presently, the barge cast anchor before a postern door, where
they saw servants standing with a she mule saddled and bridled.
Here the mock Caliph landed and, mounting the mule, rode away
with his courtiers and his cup-companions preceded by the
cresset-bearers crying aloud, and followed by his household which
busied itself in his service. Then Harun al-Rashid, Ja'afar and
Masrur landed also and, making their way through the press of
servants, walked on before them. Presently, the cresset-bearers
espied them and seeing three persons in merchants' habits, and
strangers to the country, took offense at them; so they pointed
them out and brought them before the other Caliph, who looked at
them and asked, "How came ye to this place and who brought you at
this tide?" They answered, "O our lord, we are foreign merchants
and far from our homes, who arrived here this day and were out a-
walking to-night, and behold, ye came up and these men laid hands
on us and brought us to thy presence; and this is all our story."
Quoth the mock Caliph, "Since ye be stranger folk no harm shall
befall you; but had ye been of Baghdad, I had struck off your
heads." Then he turned to his Wazir and said to him, "Take these
men with thee; for they are our guests to-night." "To hear is to
obey, O our lord," answered he; and they companied him till they
came to a lofty and splendid palace set upon the firmest base; no
Sultan possesseth such a place; rising from the dusty mould and
upon the merges of the clouds laying hold. Its door was of Indian
teak-wood inlaid with gold that glowed; and through it one passed
into a royal-hall in whose midst was a jetting fount girt by a
raised estrade. It was provided with carpets and cushions of
brocade and small pillows and long settees and hanging curtains;
it was furnished with a splendour that dazed the mind and dumbed
the tongue, and upon the door were written these two couplets,

"A Palace whereon be blessings and praise! * Which with all their
beauty have robed the Days:
Where marvels and miracle-sights abound, * And to write its
honours the pen affrays."

The false Caliph entered with his company, and sat down on a
throne of gold set with jewels and covered with a prayer carpet
of yellow silk; whilst the boon-companions took their seats and
the sword bearer of high works stood before him. Then the tables
were laid and they ate; after which the dishes were removed and
they washed their hands and the wine-service was set on with
flagons and bowls in due order. The cup went round till it came
to the Caliph, Harun al-Rashid, who refused the draught, and the
mock Caliph said to Ja'afar, "What mattereth thy friend that he
drinketh not?" He replied, "O my lord, indeed 'tis a long while
he hath drunk naught of this." Quoth the sham Caliph, "I have
drink other than this, a kind of apple-wine,[FN#188] that will
suit thy companion." So he bade them bring the cider which they
did forthright; when the false Caliph, coming up to Harun
al-Rashid, said to him, "As often as it cometh to thy turn drink
thou of this." Then they continued to drink and make merry and
pass the cup till the wine rose to their brains and mastered
their wits;--And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased
to say her permitted say.

When it was the Two Hundred and Eighty-ninth Night,

She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that the false
Caliph and his co sitters sat at their cups and gave not over
drinking till the wine rose to their brains and mastered their
wits; and Harun al-Rashid said to the Minister, "O Ja'afar, by
Allah, we have no such vessels as these. Would to Heaven I knew
what manner of man this youth is!" But while they were talking
privily the young man cast a glance upon them and seeing the
Wazir whisper the Caliph said, "'Tis rude to whisper." He
replied, "No rudeness was meant: this my friend did but say to
me, 'Verily I have travelled in most countries and have caroused
with the greatest of Kings and I have companied with noble
captains; yet never saw I a goodlier ordering than this
entertainment nor passed a more delightful night; save that the
people of Baghdad are wont to say, Wine without music often
leaves you sick.'"When the second Caliph heard this, he smiled
pleasantly and struck with a rod he had in his hand a round
gong;[FN#189] and behold, a door opened and out came a eunuch,
bearing a chair of ivory, inlaid with gold glittering fiery red
and followed by a damsel of passing beauty and loveliness,
symmetry and grace. He set down the chair and the damsel seated
herself on it, as she were the sun shining sheen in a sky serene.
In her hand she had a lute of Hindu make, which she laid in her
lap and bent down over it as a mother bendeth over her little
one, and sang to it, after a prelude in four-and-twenty modes,
amazing all wits. Then she returned to the first mode and to a
lively measure chanted these couplets,

"Love's tongue within my heart speaks plain to thee, * Telling
thee clearly I am fain of thee
Witness the fevers of a tortured heart, * And ulcered eyelid
tear-flood rains for thee
God's fate o'ertaketh all created things! * I knew not love till
learnt Love's pain of thee."

Now when the mock Caliph heard these lines sung by the damsel, he
cried with a great cry and rent his raiment to the very skirt,
whereupon they let down a curtain over him and brought him a
fresh robe, handsomer than the first. He put it on and sat as
before, till the cup came round to him, when he struck the gong a
second time and lo! a door opened and out of it came a eunuch
with a chair of gold, followed by a damsel fairer than the first,
bearing a lute, such as would strike the envious mute. She sat
down on the chair and sang to her instrument these two couplets,

"How patient bide, with love in sprite of me, * And tears in
tempest[FN#190] blinding sight of me?
By Allah, life has no delight of me! * How gladden heart whose
core is blight of me?"

No sooner had the youth heard this poetry than he cried out with
a loud cry and rent his raiment to the skirt: whereupon they let
down the curtain over him and brought him another suit of
clothes. He put it on and, sitting up as before, fell again to
cheerful talk, till the cup came round to him, when he smote once
more upon the gong and out came a eunuch with a chair, followed
by a damsel fairer than she who forewent her. So she sat down on
the chair, with a lute in her hand, and sang thereto these
couplets,

"Cease ye this farness; 'bate this pride of you, * To whom my
heart clings, by life-tide of you!
Have ruth on hapless, mourning, lover-wretch, * Desire-full,
pining, passion-tried of you:
Sickness hath wasted him, whose ecstasy * Prays Heaven it may be
satisfied of you:
Oh fullest moons[FN#191] that dwell in deepest heart! * How can I
think of aught by side of you?"

Now when the young man heard these couplets, he cried out with a
great cry and rent his raiment, whereupon they let fall the
curtain over him and brought him other robes. Then he returned to
his former case with his boon-companions and the bowl went round
as before, till the cup came to him, when he struck the gong a
fourth time and the door opening, out came a page-boy bearing a
chair followed by a damsel. He set the chair for her and she sat
down thereon and taking the lute, tuned it and sang to it these
couplets,

"When shall disunion and estrangement end? * When shall my bygone
joys again be kenned?
Yesterday we were joined in same abode; * Conversing heedless of
each envious friend:[FN#192]
Trickt us that traitor Time, disjoined our lot * And our waste
home to desert fate condemned:
Wouldst have me, Grumbler! from my dearling fly? * I find my
vitals blame will not perpend:
Cease thou to censure; leave me to repine; * My mind e'er findeth
thoughts that pleasure lend.
O Lords[FN#193] of me who brake our troth and plight, * Deem not
to lose your hold of heart and sprite!"

When the false Caliph heard the girl's song, he cried out with a
loud outcry and rent his raiment,--And Shahrazad perceived the
dawn of day and ceased saying her permitted say.

When it was the Two Hundred and Ninetieth Night,

She said, When the false Caliph heard the girl's song, he cried
with a loud outcry and rent his raiment and fell to the ground
fainting; whereupon they would have let down the curtain over
him, as of custom; but its cords stuck fast and Harun al-Rashid,
after considering him carefully, saw on his body the marks of
beating with palm-rods and said to Ja'afar, "By Allah, he is a
handsome youth, but a foul thief!" "Whence knowest thou that, O
Commander of the Faithful?" asked Ja'afar, and the Caliph
answered, "Sawest thou not the whip-scars on his ribs?" Then they
let fall the curtain over him and brought him a fresh dress,
which he put on and sat up as before with his courtiers and cup-
companions. Presently he saw the Caliph and Ja'afar whispering
together and said to them, "What is the matter, fair sirs?" Quoth
Ja'afar, "O my lord, all is well,[FN#194] save that this my
comrade, who (as is not unknown to thee) is of the merchant
company and hath visited all the great cities and countries of
the world and hath consorted with kings and men of highest
consideration, saith to me: 'Verily, that which our lord the
Caliph hath done this night is beyond measure extravagant, never
saw I any do the like doings in any country; for he hath rent
such and such dresses, each worth a thousand dinars and this is
surely excessive unthriftiness.'" Replied the second Caliph, "Ho
thou, the money is my money and the stuff my stuff, and this is
by way of largesse to my suite and servants; for each suit that
is rent belongeth to one of my cup-companions here present, and I
assign to them with each suit of clothes the sum of five hundred
dinars." The Wazir Ja'afar replied, "Well is whatso thou doest, O
our lord," and recited these two couplets,

"Virtue in hand of thee hath built a house, * And to mankind thou
dost thy wealth expose:
If an the virtues ever close their doors, * That hand would be a
key the lock to unclose."

Now when the young man heard these verses recited by the Minister
Ja'afar, he ordered him to be gifted with a thousand dinars and a
dress of honour. Then the cup went round among them and the wine
was sweet to them; but, after a while quoth the Caliph to
Ja'afar, "Ask him of the marks on his sides, that we may see what
he will say by way of reply." Answered Ja'afar, "Softly, O my
lord, be not hasty and soothe thy mind, for patience is more
becoming." Rejoined the Caliph, "By the life of my head and by
the revered tomb of Al Abbas,[FN#195] except thou ask him, I will
assuredly stop thy breath!" With this the young man turned
towards the Minister and said to him, "What aileth thee and thy
friend to be whispering together? Tell me what is the matter with
you." "It is nothing save good," replied Ja'afar; but the mock
Caliph rejoined, "I conjure thee, by Allah, tell me what aileth
you and hide from me nothing of your case." Answered the Wazir "O
my lord, verily this one here saw on thy sides the marks of
beating with whips and palm-fronds and marvelled thereat with
exceeding marvel, saying, 'How came the Caliph to be beaten?';
and he would fain know the cause of this." Now when the youth
heard this, he smiled and said, "Know ye that my story is
wondrous and my case marvellous; were it graven with needles on
the eye corners, it would serve as a warner to whoso would be
warned." And he sighed and repeated these couplets,

"Strange is my story, passing prodigy; * By Love I swear, my ways
wax strait on me!
An ye desire to hear me, listen, and * Let all in this assembly
silent be.
Heed ye my words which are of meaning deep, * Nor lies my speech;
'tis truest verity.
I'm slain[FN#196] by longing and by ardent love; * My slayer's
the pearl of fair virginity.
She hath a jet black eye like Hindi blade, * And bowed eyebrows
shoot her archery
My heart assures me our Imam is here, * This age's Caliph, old
nobility:
Your second, Ja'afar highs, is his Wazir; * A Sahib,[FN#197]
Sahib-son of high degree:
The third is called Masrur who wields the sword: * Now, if in
words of mine some truth you see
I have won every wish by this event * Which fills my heart with
joy and gladdest greet"

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