Real Life In London, Volumes I. and II.

P >> Pierce Egan >> Real Life In London, Volumes I. and II.

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At a little before ten o'clock, the ball-room was prepared,
and in a short time the most distinguished of the guests
repaired thither. The dresses of the ladies were in general
particularly elegant. The ball was opened by two of the
younger daughters of the Lord Mayor, Misses Ann and Harriett
Magnay, who danced the minuet de la cour in so elegant and
finished a manner, as elicited general approbation. The
quadrilles were led off by the Duke de Cazes and Baron
Langsdorff, and were continued with the greatest spirit
throughout the night. The centre tables in the Egyptian Hall
were removed for the accommodation of the company, but the
side tables were retained, and refreshments served out from
them in abundance.

We believe that in the general participation of pleasure
there existed one solitary exception only, in the person of
Miss Judith Macgilligan. It unfortunately happened that an
opportunity offered not for the display of her graces in the
dance. She then became peevishly taciturn, complained of
indisposition, and expressing a desire of returning home,
the gentlemen consequently assented, and the party left the
Mansion-house at an earlier hour than they had either
anticipated or desired.

VOLUME II. Part 2

CHAPTER XV

"All London is full of vagaries,
Of bustle of splendour and show,
At every turn the scene varies,
Whether near, or still further we go.
Each lane has a character in it,
Each street has its pauper and beau:
And such changes are making each minute,
Scarce one from the other we know.
The in and out turnings of life,
Few persons can well understand;
But in London the grand source of strife,
Is of fortune to bear the command.
Yet some who are high up to day,
Acknowledged good sober and witty,
May to-morrow be down in decay,
In this great and magnanimous city."

~~203~~~ "Apropos," said the Hon. Tom Dashall, laying down the Times
newspaper after breakfast, "a fine opportunity is offered to us to day,
for a peep at the Citizens of London in their Legislative Assembly, a
Court of Common Council is announced for twelve o'clock, and I think I
can promise you much of entertaining information, by paying a visit at
Guildhall and its vicinity. We have several times passed it with merely
taking a view of its exterior, but the interior is equally deserving of
attention, particularly at a period when it is graced by the personages
and appendages which constitute its state and dignity. London is
generally spoken of as the first commercial city in the known world, and
its legislators, as a corporate body, becomes a sort of rallying post
for all others in the kingdom. We have plenty of time before us, and
may lounge a little as we march along to amuse or refresh ourselves at
leisure." "With all my heart," said Tallyho, "for I have heard much
about the Lord Mayor, the Sword Bearer, and the Common Hunt, all in a
bustle,--though I have never yet had an opportunity of seeing any of
them."

~~204~~ "They are interesting subjects, I can assure you, so come along,
we will take a view of these _Gogs_ and _Magogs_ of civic notoriety,"
and thus saying, they were quickly on the road for the city. The morning
being fine, they took their way down St. James's Street, at the bottom
of which their ears were attracted by the sounds of martial music
approaching.

"We have nicked the time nicely indeed," said Dashall, "and may now
enjoy a musical treat, before we proceed to the oratorical one. The
Guards in and about the Palace, are relieved every morning about this
time, for which purpose they are usually mustered at the Horse-Guards,
in the Park, where they are paraded in regular order, and then marched
here. It forms a very pleasing sight for the cockney loungers, for those
out of employ, and those who have little inclination to be employed; and
you see the crowds that are hastening before them, in order to obtain
admission to Palace Yard, before their arrival--let us join the throng;
there is another detachment stationed there ready to receive them,
and while they are relieving the men actually on duty, the two bands
alternately amuse the officers and the bye-standers with some of the
most admired Overtures and Military Airs."

They now passed the gate, and quickly found themselves in a motley group
of all descriptions, crowding to the seat of action, and pouring in
from various avenues. Men, women, and children, half-drill'd drummers,
bandy-legged fifers, and suckling triangle beaters, with bags of books
and instruments in their hands to assist the band. The colours were
mounted as usual on a post in the centre, the men drawn up in ranks, and
standing at ease, while the officers were pacing backwards and forwards
in the front, arm-in-arm with each other, relating the rencontres of the
preceding day, or those in anticipation of the ensuing. This order of
things was however quickly altered, as the relieving party entered,
and at the word "attention," every officer was at his post, and the men
under arms. Our friends now moved under the piazzas so as to be in the
rear of the party who had the first possession, and after hearing with
great admiration the delightful airs played by the two bands, which
had been the principal object of attraction with them--they proceeded
through the Park and reached Charing Cross, by the way of Spring
Gardens.

~~205~~~ "Zounds," said Tallyho, "this is a very unworthy entrance to a
Royal Park."

"Admitted, it is so," was the reply, "and a degradation to the splendid
palace, I mean internally, which is so close to it, and which is the
present residence of Majesty." They now proceeded without any
thing further of consequence worthy of remark, till they reached
Villiers-street.

"Come," said Tom, "I perceive we shall have time to take a look at the
world below as well as the world above; "when crossing into the Adelphi,
and suddenly giving another turn, he entered what to Bob appeared a
cavern, and in one moment was obscured from his sight.--"Hallo," said
Tallyho, "where the devil are you leading me to?"--"Never mind," was the
reply; "keep on the right side, and you are safe enough; but if you get
into the centre, beware of the Slough of Despond--don't be afraid."

Upon this assurance Bob groped his way along for a few paces, and at a
distance could discover the glimmering of a lamp, which seemed but to
make darkness more visible. Keeping his eye upon the light, and more
engrossed with the idea of his own safety in such a place than any thing
else, for he could neither conjecture where he was nor whence he was
going, he presently came in violent contact with a person whom he could
not see, and in a moment found himself prostrate on the ground.

"Hallo," cried a gruff voice, which sounded through the hollow arches
of the place with sepulchral tone--"who the devil are you--why don't
you mind where you go--you must not come here with your eyes in your
pocket;" and at the same time he heard a spade dug into the earth, which
almost inspired him with the idea that he should be buried alive.

"Good God protect," (exclaimed Bob,) "where is Dashall--where am I?"

"Where are you--why you're in the mud to be sure--and for aught I know,
Dashall and all the rest may be in the clouds; what business have you
dashing here--we have enough of the Dandies above, without having them
below--what have you lost your way, or have you been _nibbling_ in the
light, and want to hide yourself--eh?"

~~206~~~ "Neither, neither, I can assure you; but I have been led here,
and my friend is on before."

"Oh, well, if that's the case, get up, and I'll hail him,
--ey-ya-ap"--cried he, in a voice, which seemed like thunder to our
fallen hero, and which was as quickly answered by the well known voice
of his Cousin, who in a few minutes was at his elbow.

"What now," vociferated Tom, "I thought I gave you instructions how to
follow, and expected you was just behind me."

"Why for the matter of that," cried the unknown, "he was not before
you, that's sartin; and he knocked himself down in the mud before ever
I spoke to him, that's all I know about it--but he don't seem to
understand the navigation of our parts."

"I don't wonder at that," replied Tom; "for he was never here before in
his life--but there is no harm done, is there?"

"None," replied Bob; "all's right again now--so proceed."

"Nay," replied the unknown, "all's not right yet; for if as how this
is your first appearance in the shades below, it is but fair you should
come down."

"Down," said Bob, "why I have been down--you knock'd me down."

"Well, never mind, my master, I have set you on your pins again; and
besides that, I likes you very well, for you're down as a hammer, and
up again like a watch-box--but to my thinking a drap o'somut good would
revive you a little bit; and I should like to drink with you--for you
ought to pay your footing."

"And so he shall," continued Tom--"So come along, my lad."

By this time Bob had an opportunity of discovering that the person he
had thus unfortunately encountered, was no other than a stout raw-boned
coalheaver, and that the noise he had heard was occasioned by his
sticking his pointed coal-shovel in the earth, with intention to help
him up after his fall. Pursuing their way, and presently turning to the
right, Bob was suddenly delighted by being brought from utter darkness
into marvellous light, presenting a view of the river, with boats and
barges passing and repassing with their usual activity.

"What place is this?" inquired Tallyho.

~207~~~ "Before you," replied his Cousin, "is the River Thames; and
in the front you will find wharfs and warehouses for the landing and
housing of various merchandize, such as coals, fruit, timber, &c.: we
are now under the Adelphi Terrace, where many elegant and fashionable
houses are occupied by persons of some rank in society; these streets,
lanes, and subterraneous passages, have been constructed for the
convenience of conveying the various articles landed here into the main
streets of the metropolis, and form as it were a little world under
ground."

"And no bad world neither," replied the coalheaver, who upon inspection
proved to be no other than Bob Martlet, whom they had met with as one
of the _heavy wet_ party at Charley's Crib--"For there is many a family
lives down here, and gets a good bit of bread too; what does it signify
where a man gets his bread, if he has but an honest appetite to eat it
with: aye, and though I say it, that house in the corner there, just
down by the water's edge, can supply good stuff at all times to wash
it down with, and that you know's the time of day, my master: this warm
weather makes one _dryish_ like, don't it?"

Tom thought the hint dry enough, though Bob was declaring he was almost
wet through; however, they took their road to the Fox under the Hill,
as it is termed. On entering which a good fire presented itself, and
Tallyho placed himself in front of it, in order to dry his clothes,
while Bob Martlet was busy in inquiring of the landlord for a brush to
give the gemman a wipe down, as, he observed, he had a sort of a trip up
in these wild parts--though to be sure that there was no great wonder,
for a gentleman who was near sighted, and didn't wear spectacles;
"however," continued he, "there an't no harm done; and so the gemman and
I are going to drink together--arn't we, Sir?"

Tallyho, who by this time had got well roasted by the fire-side, nodded
his assent, and Dashall inquired what he would like.

~~208~~~ "Why, my master, as for that, it's not much matter to me; a
drap of sky blue in a boulter of barley,{1} with a dollop of sweet,{2}
and a little saw dust,{3} is no bad thing according to my thinking; but
Lord bless you! if so be as how a gemman like you offers to treat Bill
Martlet,

1 A boulter of barley--a drink--or a pot of porter.

2 A dollop of sweet--sugar.

3 Saw-dust--a cant term for ginger or nutmeg grated.

why Bill Martlet never looks a gift horse in the mouth, you know, as the
old saying is; but our landlord knows how to make such rum stuff, as I
should like you to taste it--we call it hot, don't us, landlord?--Come,
lend us hold of the brush?" "Ave, and brush up, Mr. Landlord," said the
Hon. Tom Dashall; "let us have a taste of this nectar he's talking of,
for we have not much time to stop."

"Lord bless your eye sight," replied Martlet, "there an't no occasion
whatsomdever for your honours to stay--if you'll only give the order,
and push about the possibles, the business is all done. Come, shovel up
the sensible," continued he to the landlord, "mind you give us the real
double XX. I don't think your coat is any the worse, it would sarve me
for a Sunday swell toggery for a twelve-month to come yet; for our dirt
down here is as I may say clean dirt, and d------me if I don't think it
looks all the better for it."

"Thank you, my friend," said Bob; "that will do very well," and the
landlord having by this time completed his cookery, produced the good
stuff, as Martlet termed it.

"Come, gentlemen, this is the real right sort, nothing but the bang-up
article, arn't it, my master? But as I always likes the landlord to
taste it first, by way of setting a good example, just be after telling
us what you think of it."

"With all my heart," said the landlord; who declared it was as prime a
pot of hot as he had made for the last fortnight. .

With this recommendation our friends tried it; and after tipping, took
their departure, under the positive assurance of Martlet, that he should
be very glad to see them again at any time.

They now pursued their way through other subterraneous passages, where
they met waggons, carts, and horses, apparently as actively and usefully
employed as those above ground.

"Come," said Tom, "we have suffered time to steal a inarch upon us," as
they reached the Strand; "we will therefore take the first" _rattler_
we can meet with, and make the best of our way for the City."--This
was soon accomplished, and jumping into the coach, the old _Jarvey_
was desired to drive them as expeditiously as possible to the corner of
King-street, Cheapside.~~209~~~

CHAPTER XVI

"How wretched those who tasteless live,
And say this world no joys can give:
Why tempts yon turtle sprawling,
Why smoaks the glorious haunch,
Are these not joys still calling
To bless our mortal paunch?
O 'tis merry in the Hall
When beards wag all,
What a noise and what a din;
How they glitter round the chin;
Give me fowl and give me fish,
Now for some of that nice dish;
Cut me this, Sir, cut me that,
Send me crust, and send me fat.
Some for tit bits pulling hauling,

Legs, wings, breast, head,--some for liquor, scolding, bawling,
Hock, port, white, red, here 'tis cramming, cutting, slashing,
There the grease and gravy splashing,
Look, Sir, look, Sir, what you've done,
Zounds, you've cut off the Alderman's thumb."

The Hon. Tom Dashall, who was fully aware that City appointments for
twelve o'clock mean one, was nevertheless anxious to arrive at their
place of destination some time before the commencement of the business
of the day; and fortunately meeting with no obstruction on the road,
they were set down at the corner of King-street, about half-past twelve.

"Come," said he, "we shall now have time to look about us at leisure,
and observe the beauties of this place of civic festivity. The Hall you
see in front of you, is the place devoted to the entertainment usually
given by the Lord Mayor on his entrance upon the duties and dignities of
his office. It is a fine gothic building, in which the various courts
of the city are held. The citizens also meet there for the purpose of
choosing their representatives in Parliament, the Lord Mayor, Sheriffs,
&c. It was originally built in the year 1411, previous to which period
the public, or as they term it the Common Hall, was held at a small room
in Aldermanbury.

~~210~~~ The expense Of the building was defrayed by voluntary
subscription, and its erection occupied twenty years. It was seriously
damaged by the fire of 1666, since which the present edifice, with the
exception of the new gothic front, has been erected. That, however,
was not finished till the year 1789, and many internal improvements and
decorations have been introduced since. There is not much of attraction
in its outward appearance. That new building on the right has recently
been erected for the accommodation of Meetings of Bankrupts; and on the
left is the Justice-Room, where the Aldermen attend daily in rotation as
magistrates to decide petty causes; but we must not exhaust our time now
upon them."

On entering the Hall, Tallyho appeared to be highly pleased with its
extent, and was presently attracted by the monuments which it contains.
"It is a noble room," said he.--"Yes," replied Tom, "this Hall is
153 feet in length, 48 in breadth, and the height to the roof is 55."
Tallyho was, however, more engaged in examining the monument erected to
the memory of Lord Nelson, and an occasional glance at the two enormous
figures who stand at opposites, on the left of the entrance.--Having
read the tablet, and admired the workmanship of the former, he hastily
turned to the latter. "And who in the name of wonder are these?" he
inquired.

"These," replied his communicative Cousin, "are called _Gog_ and
_Magog_. They are two ancient giants carved in wood, one holding a
long staff suspending a ball stuck with pikes, and the other a halbert,
supposed to be of great antiquity, and to represent an ancient Briton
and a Saxon. They formerly used to stand on each side of that staircase
which leads to the Chamberlain's Office, the Courts of King's Bench and
Common Pleas, the Court of Aldermen, and the Common Council Chamber. At
the other end are two fine monuments, to the memory of Lord Chatham, the
father of Mr. Pitt, and his Son. The windows are fine specimens of
the revived art of painting on glass. There is also a monument of Mr.
Beckford."

While they were taking a view of these several objects of curiosity,
their attention was suddenly attracted by a confused noise and bustle
at the door, which announced the arrival of the Lord Mayor and his
attendants, who passed them in state, and were followed by our friends
to the Council Chamber; on entering which, they were ~~211~~~ directed
by the City Marshall, who guarded the door, to keep below the bar.
Tallyho gazed with admiration and delight on the numerous pictures with
which the Chamber is decorated, as well as the ceiling, which forms, a
dome, with a skylight in the centre. The Lord Mayor having first entered
the Court of Aldermen, the business of the day had not yet commenced.
Tom directed his Cousin's eye in the first instance to the very large
and celebrated painting by Copley, which fronts the Lord Mayor's
chair, and represents the destruction of the floating batteries before
Gibraltar, to commemorate the gallant defence of that place by General
Elliott, afterwards Lord Heath field, in 1782. The statue of the late
King George the Third; the death of David Rizzio, by Opie; the miseries
of Civil War, from Shakespeare; Domestic Happiness, exemplified in
portraits of an Alderman and his family; the death of Wat Tyler; the
representation of the Procession of the Lord Mayor to Westminster Hall,
by water; and the ceremony of swearing in the Lord Mayor at Guildhall,
in 1781; containing portraits of all the principal members of the
Corporation of London at that time. Meanwhile the benches were filling
with the Deputies and Common Councilmen from their several wards. At one
o'clock, the Lord Mayor entered the Court, attended by several Aldermen,
who took their seats around him, and the business of the day commenced.
Among those on the upper seats, Tom gave his Cousin to understand which
were the most popular of the Aldermen, and named in succession Messrs.
Waithman, Wood, Sir Claudius Stephen Hunter, Birch, Flower, and Curtis;
and as their object was not so much to hear the debates as to see the
form and know the characters, he proposed an adjournment from their
present rather uncomfortable situation, where they were obliged to stand
wedged in, by the crowd continually increasing, during which they could
take a few more observations, and he could give some little clue to the
origin and present situations of the persons to whom he had directed his
Cousin's attention. Making the best of their way out of the Court, they
found themselves in an anti-room, surrounded by marshalmen, beadles of
Wards waiting for their Aldermen, and the Lord Mayor's and Sheriffs'
footmen, finding almost as much difficulty to proceed, as they had
before encountered.

~~212~~~ Having struggled through this formidable phalanx of judicial
and state appendages,

"Now," said Dashall, "we shall be enabled to breathe again at liberty,
and make our observations without fear; for where we have just quitted,
there is scarcely any possibility of making a remark without having it
snapped up by newspaper reporters, and retailers of anecdotes; here,
however, we can indulge _ad libitum_."

"Yes," replied Tallyho, "and having seen thus far, I am a little
inquisitive to know more. I have, it is true, at times seen the names
of the parties you pointed out to me in the daily prints, but a sight of
their persons in their official stations excites stronger curiosity."

"Then," said Tom, "according to promise I will give you a sort of
brief sketch of some of them. The present Lord Mayor is a very eminent
wholesale stationer, carrying on an extensive trade in Queen-street;
he ought to have filled the chair before this, but some temporary
circumstances relative to his mercantile concerns induced him to give up
his rotation. He has since removed the obstacle, and has been elected
by his fellow-citizens to the high and important office of Chief
Magistrate. I believe he has not signalized himself by any remarkable
circumstance, but he has the character of being a worthy man. Perhaps
there are few in the Court of Aldermen who have obtained more deservedly
the esteem of the Livery of London, than Alderman Waithman, whose
exertions have long been directed to the correction of abuses, and who
represented them as one of their members during the last Parliament,
when he displaced the mighty Alderman Curtis. Waithman is of humble
origin, and has, like many others of Civic notoriety, worked his way
by perseverance and integrity as a linen-draper, to respectable
independence, and the hearts of his fellow-citizens: he has served the
office of Sheriff, and during that time acted with a becoming spirit at
the death of the late Queen, by risking his own life to save others. His
political sentiments are on the opposition side, consequently he is no
favorite with ministers."

"And if he were," replied Tallyho, "that would scarcely be considered an
honour."

"True," continued Tom, "but then it might lead to profit, as it has done
with many others, though he appears to hold such very light.

~~213~~~ "Alderman Wood has not yet been so fortunate as the celebrated
Whittington, whom you may recollect was thrice Lord Mayor of London; but
he has had the honour to serve that office during two succeeding years:
he is a member of Parliament, and his exertions in behalf of the late
Queen, if they have done him no great deal of good among the higher
powers, are at least honourable to his heart.

"Of Sir Claudius Stephen Hunter there is but little to be said,
except that he has served the office, and been a Colonel of the City
Militia--led off the ball at a Jew's wedding--used to ride a white
charger--and is so passionately fond of military parade, that had
he continued another year in the office, the age of chivalry would
certainly have been revived in the East, and knights-errant and esquires
have completely superseded merchants, traders, and shopkeepers.

"Alderman Birch is an excellent pastry-cook, and that perhaps is the
best thing that can be said of him: he has written some dramatic pieces;
but the pastry is beyond all comparison best of the two, and he needs no
other passport to fame, at least with his fellow-citizens.

"But last, though not least, under our present consideration, comes the
renowned Sir William, a plain bluff John Bull; he is said to be the
son of a presbyterian citizen, and was rigidly educated in his father's
religion. He obtained the alderman's gown, and represented the City in
the year 1790: he is a good natured, and, I believe, a good hearted man
enough, though he has long been a subject for satirical wit. He was Lord
Mayor in 1796: you may recollect what was related of him by the literary
labourer we met with in the Park--anecdotes and caricatures have been
published in abundance upon him: he may, however, be considered in
various points of view--as an alderman and a biscuit baker--as a
fisherman "--