Real Life In London, Volumes I. and II.

P >> Pierce Egan >> Real Life In London, Volumes I. and II.

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"Egad!" said his Cousin, "now I think of it, there is a tine opportunity
of amusing ourselves for the remainder of the evening by a peep at
another certain house in Westminster: whether it may be assimilated, in
point of character or contents, to what we have just witnessed, I shall
leave you, after taking a review, to determine."

"What do you mean?" inquired Tallyho.

"Charley's, my boy, that's the place for sport, something in the old
style. The Professors there are all of the ancient school, and we shall
just be in time for the first Lecture. It is a school of science, and
though established upon the ancient construction, is highly suitable to
the taste of the moderns."

"Zounds!" replied Bob, "our heads are hardly in cue for philosophy after
so much wine and noise; we had better defer it to another opportunity."

"Nay, nay, now's the very time for it--it will revive the recollection
of some of your former sports;

For, midst our luxuries be it understood,
Some traits remain of rugged hardihood."

~387~~ Charley is a good caterer for the public appetite, and, to
diversify the amusements of a Life in London, we will have a little
chaff among the Bear-baiters."

Tally-ho stared for a moment; then burst into laughter at the curious
introduction his Cousin had given to this subject. "I have long
perceived your talent for embellishment, but certainly was not prepared
for the conclusion; but you ought rather to have denominated them
Students in Natural History."

"And what is that but a branch of Philosophy?" inquired Dashall.
"However, we are discussing points of opinion rather than hastening to
the scene of action to become judges of facts--Allons."

Upon saying this, they moved forward with increased celerity towards
Tothill-fields, and soon reached their proposed place of destination.

On entering, Tallyho was reminded by his Cousin to button up his
toggery, keep his ogles in action, and be awake. "For," said he, "you
will here have to mingle with some of the queer Gills and rum Covies of
all ranks."

This advice being taken, they soon found themselves in this temple of
torment, where Bob surveyed a motly group assembled, and at that moment
engaged in the sports of the evening. The generality of the company bore
the appearance of Butchers, Dog-fanciers and Ruffians, intermingled
here and there with a few Sprigs of Fashion, a few Corinthian Sicells,
Coster-mongers, Coal-heavers, Watermen, Soldiers, and Livery-servants.

[Illustration: page387 The Country Squire]

The bear was just then pinn'd by a dog belonging to a real lover of the
game, who, with his shirt-sleeves tuck'd up, declared he was a d------d
good one, and nothing but a good one, so help him G------d. This dog, at
the hazard of his life, had seized poor Bruin by the under lip, who
sent forth a tremendous howl indicative of his sufferings, and was
endeavouring to give him a fraternal hug; many other dogs were barking
aloud with anxiety to take an active share in the amusement, while the
bear, who was chained by the neck to a staple in the wall, and compelled
to keep an almost erect posture, shook his antagonist with all the fury
of madness produced by excessive torture. In the mean time bets were
made and watches pull'd forth, to decide how long the bow-wow would
bother the ragged Russian. The Dog-breeders were chaffing each other
upon the value of their canine property, each holding his ~388~~
brother-puppy between his legs, till a fair opportunity for a let-loose
offered, and many wagers were won and lost in a short space of time. Bob
remained a silent spectator; while his Cousin, who was better up to the
gossip, mixt with the hard-featured sportsmen, inquired the names of
their dogs, what prices were fix'd upon, when they had fought last, and
other questions equally important to amateurs.

Bruin got rid of his customers in succession as they came up to him,
and when they had once made a seizure, it was generally by a hug which
almost deprived them of life, at least it took from them the power of
continuing their hold; but his release from one was only the signal for
attack from another.

While this exhibition continued, Tom could not help calling his Cousin's
attention to an almost bald-headed man, who occupied a front seat, and
sat with his dog, which was something of the bull breed, between his
legs, while the paws of the animal rested on the top rail, and which
forcibly brought to his recollection the well-known anecdote of Garrick
and the Butcher's dog with his master's wig on, while the greasy
carcass-dealer was wiping the perspiration from his uncovered
pericranium.

Bob, who had seen a badger-bait, and occasionally at fairs in the
country a dancing bear, had never before seen a bear-bait, stood up most
of the time, observing those around him, and paying attention to their
proceedings while entertaining sentiments somewhat similar to the
following lines:--

"What boisterous shouts, what blasphemies obscene,
What eager movements urge each threatening mien!
Present the spectacle of human kind,
Devoid of feeling--destitute of mind;
With ev'ry dreadful passion rous'd to flame,
All sense of justice lost and sense of shame."

When Charley the proprietor thought his bear was sufficiently exercised
for the night, he was led to his den, lacerated and almost lamed, to
recover of his wounds, with an intention that he should "fight his
battles o'er again." Meanwhile Tom and Bob walk'd homeward.

The next day having been appointed for the coronation of our most
gracious Sovereign, our friends were off at an early hour in the
morning, to secure their seats in ~389~~ Westminster Hall; and on their
way they met the carriage of our disappointed and now much lamented
Queen, her endeavours to obtain admission to the Abbey having proved
fruitless.

"Oh that the Monarch had as firmly stood
In all his acts to serve the public good,
As in that moment of heartfelt joy
That firmness acted only to destroy
A nation's hope--to every heart allied,
Who lived in sorrow, and lamented died!"

It was a painful circumstance to Dashall, who was seldom severe in his
judgments, or harsh in his censures. He regretted its occurrence, and it
operated in some degree to rob a splendid ceremony of its magnificence,
and to sever from royalty half its dignity.

The preparations however were arranged upon a scale of grandeur suited
to the occasion. The exterior of Westminster Hall and Abbey presented
a most interesting appearance. Commodious seats were erected for the
accommodation of spectators to view the procession in its moving order,
and were thronged with thousands of anxious subjects to greet their
Sovereign with demonstrations of loyalty and love.

It was certainly a proud day of national festivity. The firing of guns
and the ringing of bells announced the progress of the Coronation in
its various stages to completion; and in the evening Hyde Park was
brilliantly and tastefully illuminated, and an extensive range of
excellent fireworks were discharged under the direction of Sir William
Congreve. We must however confine ourselves to that which came under the
view of the Hon. Tom Dashall and his Cousin, who, being seated in
the Hall, had a fine opportunity of witnessing the banquet, and the
challenge of the Champion.

A flooring of wood had been laid down in the Hall at an elevation of
fourteen inches above the flags. Three tiers of galleries were erected
on each side, covered with a rich and profuse scarlet drapery falling
from a cornice formed of a double row of gold-twisted rope, and
ornamented with a succession of magnificent gold pelmets and rosettes.
The front of the door which entered from the passage without, was
covered with a curtain of scarlet, trimmed with deep gold fringe, and
looped up on each side with ~390~~ silken ropes. The floor, and to the
extremity of the first three steps of the Throne, was covered with a
splendid Persian-pattern Wilton carpet, and the remainder of the steps
with scarlet baize.

The canopy of the throne, which was square, was surrounded by a
beautiful carved and gilt cornice, prepared by Mr. Evans. Beneath the
cornice hung a succession of crimson-velvet pelmet drapery, each pelmet
having embroidered upon it a rose, a thistle, a crown, or a harp.
Surmounting the cornice in front was a gilt crown upon a velvet cushion,
over the letters "Geo. IV." supported on each side by an antique gilt
ornament. The entire back of the throne, as well as the interior of the
canopy, were covered with crimson Genoa velvet, which was relieved by a
treble row of broad and narrow gold lace which surrounded the whole.
In the centre of the back were the royal arms, the lion and the unicorn
rampant, embroidered in the most costly style. Under this stood the
chair of state, and near the throne were six splendid chairs placed for
the other members of the royal family. These decorations, and the Hall
being splendidly illuminated, presented to the eye a spectacle of
the most imposing nature, heightened by the brilliant assemblage of
elegantly dressed personages. The Ladies universally wore ostrich
feathers, and the Gentlemen were attired in the most sumptuous dresses.

[Illustration: page390 Grand Coronation Dinner]

About four o'clock, his Majesty having gone through the other fatiguing
ceremonies of the day, entered the Hall with the crown upon his head,
and was greeted with shouts of "Long live the King!" from all quarters;
shortly after which, the banquet was served by the necessary officers.
But that part of the ceremony which most attracted the attention of
Tallyho, was the challenge of the Champion, whose entrance was announced
by the sound of the trumpets thrice; and who having proceeded on a
beautiful horse in a full suit of armour, under the porch of a triumphal
arch, attended by the Duke of Wellington on his right, and the Deputy
Earl Marshal on his left, to the place assigned him, the challenge was
read aloud by the Herald: he then threw down his gauntlet, which having
lain a short time, was returned to him. This ceremony was repeated three
times; when he drank to his Majesty, and received the gold cup and cover
as his fee.

~391~~ The whole of this magnificent national pageant was conducted
throughout with the most scrupulous attention to the customary etiquette
of such occasions; and Tallyho, who had never witnessed any thing of the
kind before, and consequently could have no conception of its splendour,
was at various parts of the ceremony enraptured; he fancied himself
in Fairy-land, and that every thing he saw and heard was the effect of
enchantment. Our friends returned home highly gratified with their day's
amusement.

CHAPTER XXV

"Behold the Ring! how strange the group appears
Of dirty blackguards, commoners and peers;
Jews, who regard not Moses nor his laws,
All ranks of Christians eager in the cause.
What eager bets--what oaths at every breath,
Who first shall shrink, or first be beat to death.
Thick fall the blows, and oft the boxers fall,
While deaf'ning shouts for fresh exertions call;
Till, bruised and blinded, batter'd sore and maim'd,
One gives up vanquish'd, and the other lam'd.
Say, men of wealth! say what applause is due
For scenes like these, when patronised by you?
These are your scholars, who in humbler way,
But with less malice, at destruction play.
You, like game cocks, strike death with polish'd steel;
They, dung-hill-bred, use only nature's heel;
They fight for something--you for nothing fight;
They box for love, but you destroy in spite."

~392 ~~ THE following Tuesday having been appointed by the knowing ones
for a pugilistic encounter between Jack Randall, commonly called the
Nonpareil, and Martin, as well known by the appellation of The Master of
the Rolls, from his profession being that of a baker; an excellent day's
sport was anticipated, and the lads of the fancy were all upon the "_qui
vive_."

Our friends had consequently arranged, on the previous night, to
breakfast at an early hour, and take a gentle ride along the road, with
a determination to see as much as possible of the attractive amusements
of a milling-match, and to take a view as they went along of the company
they were afterwards to mingle with.

"We shall now," said Dashall (as they sat down to breakfast) "have a
peep at the lads of the ring, and see a little of the real science of
Boxing."

"We have been boxing the compass through the difficult straits of a
London life for some time," replied Bob, "and I begin to think that,
with all its variety, its gaiety, and

~393~~ its pride, the most legitimate joys of life may fairly be said to
exist in the country."

"I confess," said Dashall, "that most of the pleasures of life are
comparative, and arise from contrast. Thus the bustle of London
heightens the serenity of the country, while again the monotony of the
country gives additional zest to the ever-varying scenes of London. But
why this observation at a moment when we are in pursuit of fresh game?"

"Nay," said Tallyho, "I know not why; but I spoke as I thought, feeling
as I do a desire to have a pop at the partridges as the season is now
fast approaching, and having serious thoughts of shifting my quarters."

"We will talk of that hereafter," was the reply. "You have an excellent
day's sport in view, let us not throw a cloud upon the prospect before
us--you seem rather in the doldrums. The amusements of this day will
perhaps inspire more lively ideas; and then we shall be present at the
masquerade, which will doubtless be well attended; all the fashion of
the Metropolis will be present, and there you will find a new world,
such as surpasses the powers of imagination--a sort of Elysium
unexplored before, full of mirth, frolic, whim, wit and variety, to
charm every sense in nature. But come, we must not delay participating
in immediate gratifications by the anticipations of those intended for
the future. Besides, I have engaged to give the Champion a cast to the
scene of action in my barouche."

By this time Piccadilly was all in motion--coaches, carts, gigs,
tilburies, whiskies, buggies, dog-carts, sociables, dennets, curricles,
and sulkies, were passing in rapid succession, intermingled with
tax-carts and waggons decorated with laurel, conveying company of the
most varied description. In a few minutes, the barouche being at
the door, crack went the whip, and off they bowled. Bob's eyes were
attracted on all sides. Here, was to be seen the dashing Corinthian
tickling up his tits, and his bang-up set-out of blood and bone, giving
the go-by to a heavy drag laden with eight brawney bull-faced blades,
smoking their way down behind a skeleton of a horse, to whom in all
probability a good feed of corn would have been a luxury; pattering
among themselves, occasionally chaffing the more elevated drivers by
whom they were surrounded, and pushing forward their nags with all the
ardour of a British ~394~~ merchant intent upon disposing of a valuable
cargo of foreign goods on 'Change. There, was a waggon, full of all
sorts upon the lark, succeeded by a donkey-cart with four insides; but
Neddy, not liking his burthen, stopt short on the way of a Dandy, whose
horse's head coming plump up to the back of the crazy vehicle at the
moment of its stoppage, threw the rider into the arms of a Dustman, who,
hugging his customer with the determined grasp of a bear, swore d------n
his eyes he had saved his life, and he expected he would stand something
handsome for the Gemmen all round, for if he had not pitched into their
cart, he would certainly have broke his neck; which being complied with,
though reluctantly, he regained his saddle, and proceeded a little more
cautiously along the remainder of the road, while groups of pedestrians
of all ranks and appearances lined each side.

At Hyde-Park Corner, Tom having appointed to take up the prime
hammer-man, drew up, and was instantly greeted by a welcome from the
expected party, who being as quickly seated, they proceeded on their
journey.

"This match appears to occupy general attention," said Tom.

"I should think so," was the reply--"why it will be a prime thing
as ever was seen. Betting is all alive--the Daffy Club in tip-top
spirits--lots of money sported on both sides--somebody must make a
mull{1}--but Randall's the man--he is the favourite of the day, all the
world to a penny-roll."

The simile of the penny roll being quite in point with the known title
of one of the combatants, caused a smile on Dashall's countenance, which
was caught by the eye of Tallyho, and created some mirth, as it was
a proof of what has frequently been witnessed, that the lovers of the
fancy are as apt in their imaginations at times, as they are ready for
the accommodating one, two, or the friendly flush hit which floors their
opponents.

The morning was fine, and the numerous persons who appeared travelling
on the road called forth many inquiries from Bob.

"Now," said he, "I think I recollect that the admirable author of the
_Sentimental Journey_ used to read as he went along--is it possible to
read as we journey forward?" "Doubtless," replied Tom, "it is, and will
produce

1 Mull--Defeat, loss, or disappointment.

~395~~ a fund of amusing speculation as we jog on. Lavater founded his
judgment of men upon the formation of their features; Gall and Spurzheim
by the lumps, bumps and cavities of their pericraniums; but I doubt not
we shall be right in our views of the society we are likely to meet,
without the help of either--do you see that group?"

Bob nodded assent.

"These," continued Tom, "are profitable characters, or rather men of
profit, who, kindly considering the constitution of their friends,
provide themselves with refreshments of various kinds, to supply the
hungry visitors round the ring--oranges, nuts, apples, gingerbread,
biscuits and peppermint drops."

"Not forgetting _blue ruin and French lace_,"{1} said the man of fist;
"but you have only half done it--don't you see the _Cash-cove_{2}
behind, with his stick across his shoulder, _padding the hoof_{3} in
breathless speed? he has _shell'd out the lour_{4} for the occasion, and
is travelling down to keep a _wakeful winker_{5} on his retailers, and
to take care that however they may chuse to lush away the profit, they
shall at least take care of the principal. The little Dandy just before
him also acts as Whipper-in; between them they mark out the ground,{6}
watch the progress, and pocket the proceeds. They lend the money for the
others to traffic."

"I confess," said Tom, "I was not exactly up to this."

"Aye, aye, but I know the _Blunt-monger_,{7} and am up to his ways and
means," was the reply.--"Hallo, my eyes, here he comes!" continued he,
rising from his seat, and bowing obsequiously to a Gentleman who passed
them in a tandem--"all right, I am glad of it--always good sport when
he is present--no want of sauce or seasoning--he always _comes it
strong_."{8}

"I perceive," replied Tom, "you allude to the noble Marquis of W------."

1 French lace--A flash or cant term for brandy.

2 Cash-cove--A monied man.

3 Padding the hoof--Travelling on Shanks's mare, or taking
a turn by the marrow-bone stage, i.e. walking.

4 Shell'd out the lour--Supplied the cash.

5 Wakeful winker--A sharp eye.

6 Mark out the ground--Is to place his retailers in various
parts of the Ring for the accommodation of the company, any
where he may expect to find them himself.

7 Blunt-monger--Money-dealer, or money-lender.

8 Comes it strong--No flincher, a real good one.

~396~~ Travelling gently along the road, they were presently impeded by
a crowd of persons who surrounded a long cart or waggon, which had just
been overturned, and had shot out a motley group of personages, who
were being lifted on their legs, growling and howling at this unforeseen
disaster. A hard-featured sailor, whose leg had been broken by the fall,
brandished a splinter of the fractured limb, and swore--"That although
his timbers were shivered, and he had lost a leg in the service, he
would not be the last in the Ring, but he'd be d------d if he mount the
rubbish-cart any more." It is needless to observe his leg was a wooden
one.

Upon examining the inscription on the cart, it was found to contain the
following words:--"Household Furniture, Building Materials, and Lumber
carefully removed." As it was ascertained that no real injury had
been sustained, our party speedily passed the overturned vehicle and
proceeded.

The next object of attraction was a small cart drawn by one poor animal,
sweating and snorting under the weight of six Swells, led by an old man,
who seemed almost as incapable as his horse seemed unwilling to perform
the journey. A label on the outside of the cart intimated that its
contents was soap, which created some laughter between Tom and Bob. The
man in the front, whose Jew-looking appearance attracted attention, was
endeavouring to increase the speed of the conveyance by belabouring the
boney rump of the _prad_{1} with his hat, while some of their pedestrian
_palls_{2} were following close in the rear, and taking occasionally
a _drap of the cratur_, which was handed out behind and returned after
refreshment.

"These," said Tom to his Cousin, "are also men of profit, but
not exactly in the way of those we passed--second-rate Swells and
broken-down Gamesters, determined, as the saying is, to have a shy,
even if they lose their sticks, and more properly may be termed men of
plunder; desperate in their pursuits, they turn out with intent to
make the best of the day, and will not fail to nibble all they can come
easily at."

"They are not worth the blood from a broken nose," said the Pugilist,
with a feeling for the honour of his profession which did him
credit.--"They are all prigs, their company

1 Prad--A cant term for a horse.

2 Palls--Partners, accomplices, colleagues.

~397~~ spoils all genteel society, and frequently brings disgrace
upon others with whom they are unworthy to associate, or even to be
seen--there's no getting rid of such gentry. Is it not d------d hard a
man can't have a pleasant bit of a turn-up, without having his friends
filched?--But here comes the gay fellows, here they come upon the trot,
all eager and anxious to mark the first blow, start the odds, and curry
the coal.{1} These are the lads of life--true lovers of the sport--up to
the manouvre--clear and quick-sighted, nothing but good ones--aye aye,
and here comes Bill Gibbons, furnished with the fashionables."

"What do you call the fashionables?" inquired Bob.

"Why, the Binders."

Here he was as much at a loss as ever, which the other perceiving, he
continued--"The Binders are the stakes and ropes, to fence in the Ring."

Bill Gibbons, who was well known on the road, and was speeding down
pretty sharp, was followed by crowds of vehicles of all descriptions; as
many to whom the place of meeting was but conjectured, upon seeing
him felt assured of being in the right track. Here were to be seen the
Swells in their tandems--the Nib Sprigs in their gigs, buggies, and
dog-carts--and the Tidy Ones on their trotters, all alive and leaping.
Mirth and merriment appeared spread over every countenance, though
expectation and anxiety were intermingled here and there in the features
of the real lads of the fancy; many of whom, upon this very interesting
occasion, had bets to a considerable amount depending upon the result of
the day. The bang-up blades were pushing their prads along in gay style,
accompanied by two friends, that is to say, a biped and a quadruped. The
queer fancy lads, who had hired hacks from the livery-stable keepers,
were kicking up a dust, and here and there rolling from their prancers
in their native soil; while the neck or nothing boys, with no prospect
but a whereas before their eyes, were as heedless of their personal
safety as they were of their Creditor's property. Jaded hacks and crazy
vehicles were to be seen on all sides--here lay a bankrupt-cart with
the panels knock'din, and its driver with an eye knock'd out, the horse
lamed, and the concern completely knock'd up, just before the period
when the hammer of the Auctioneer was to be called in, and his effects
knock'd down. There was another

1 Curry the coal--Make sure of the money.

~398~~ of the same description, with a harum-scarum devil of
a half-bred, making his way at all risks, at a full gallop, as
unmanageable in his career as his driver had been in his speculations;
dust flying, women sprawling, men bawling, dogs barking, and the
multitude continually increasing. Scouts, Scamps, Lords, Loungers and
Lacqueys--Coster-mongers from--To the Hill Fields--and The Bloods from
Bermondsey, completely lined the road as far as the eye could reach,
both before and behind; it was a day of the utmost importance to the
pugilistic school, as the contest had excited a most unparalleled degree
of interest!