Real Life In London, Volumes I. and II.

P >> Pierce Egan >> Real Life In London, Volumes I. and II.

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Dashall listened with attention to his dissertation on sight,
spectacles, focusses, lens, reflection, refraction, &c.; but, as he
was not defective in the particular organs alluded to, felt but little
interested on the subject; selected what he really wanted, or rather
what etiquette required, when, to their great gratification, in came
Sparkle. After the first salutations were over, the latter purchased
an opera-glass; then, in company with Tom and Bob, proceeded to Oxford
Street, and upon learning their destination, determined also to take a
peep at the Exhibition.

"Come along," said Tom, catching hold of his arm, and directing him
towards Soho Square. But Sparkle recollecting that he had appointed to
meet Miss Mortimer, her Brother, and Merry well, to accompany them to
Somerset House, and finding time had escaped with more ~233~~rapidity
than he expected, wished them a good morning, hoped they should meet
again in the course of the day, and departed.

"You see," said Tom, "Sparkle is fully engaged in the business of love;
Miss Mortimer claims all his attention for the present."

"You appear to be very envious of his enjoyments," replied Bob.

"Not so, indeed," continued Tom; "I am only regretting that other
pursuits have estranged him from our company."

On entering the Exhibition at Soho, Tom, whose well-known taste for
science and art, and particularly for the productions of the pencil and
graver, had already rendered him conspicuous among those who knew him,
made the following remarks: "I am really glad," said he, "to find that
the eminent engravers of our country have at length adopted a method of
bringing at one view before the public, a delineation of the progress
made by our artists in a branch so essentially connected with the
performance and durability of the Fine Arts. An Exhibition of this
kind is well calculated to dispel the vulgar error, that engraving is a
servile art in the scale of works of the mind, and mostly consigned to
the copyist. An Establishment of this kind has long been wanted, and is
deserving of extensive patronage."

Having secured Catalogues, they proceeded immediately to the gratifying
scene.{1} The disposition and arrangement

1 The major part of the 405 subjects and sets of subjects,
consisting of about 800 prints, are of moderate size, or
small engravings for descriptive or literary publications,
&e. They are the lesser diamonds in a valuable collection of
jewellery, where there are but few that are not of lucid
excellence, and worthy of glistening in the diadem of
Apollo, or the cestus of Venus. So indeed they have, for
here are many subjects from ancient and modern poetry, and
other literature, and from portraits of beautiful women.
Among the first class, the exquisitely finishing graver of
Mr. Warren gives us many after the designs of Messrs.
Westall, Wilkie, Smirke, Cooke, Uwins, and Corbould; as do
the lucid gravers of Messrs. Englehart and Rhodes, the
nicely executing hands of Messrs. Mitan, Romney, Finden,
Robinson, &c. Among the latter class, are _Anna Boleyn_, &c.
by Mr. Scriven, who marks so accurately the character of the
objects, and of the Painter he works from, in his well
blended dot and stroke; Mrs. Hope, by Dawe; many lovely
women, by Mr. Reynolds; a Courtship, by Mr. Warren, from
Terburg, in the Marquis of Stafford's Collection; two Mary
Queen of Scots, by Messrs. Warren and Cooper.----From
pictures of the old and modern Masters, are capital
Portraits of celebrated characters of former and present
times; of Mrs. Siddons, of Cicero, M. Angelo, Parmigiano,
Fenelon, Raleigh, A. Durer, Erasmus, Cromwell, Ben Jonson,
Selden, Swift, Gay, Sterne, Garrick, &c. of Byron,
Bonaparte, West, Kenible, young Napoleon, of nearly all the
English Royal Family, and many of the Nobility.

----Of all the charmingly engraved Landscapes of foreign
and home Views, and of the Animal pieces, are many from
Messrs. W. B. and G. Cooke's recent publications of The
Coast of England, &c. of Mr. Hakewell's Italy, Mr. Nash's
Paris, Captain Batty's France, &c. Mr. Neale's Vieios, many
of Mr. Scott's and Mr. Milton's fine Animal Prints;
exquisitely engraved Architecture by Mr. Le Keaux, Mr.
Lowry, Mr. G. Cooke, &c. Among the large Prints are the two
last of Mr. Holloway's noble set from Raffaelle's Cartoons;
the Battle of Leipzig, finely executed by Mr. Scott, and
containing Portraits of those monstrous assailers of Italy
and of the common rights of mankind, the Emperors of Austria
and Russia; Jaques from Shakspeare, by Mr. Middiman,
Reynolds' Infant Hercules by Mr. Ward, The Bard, by J.
Bromley, jun. possessing the energy of the original by the
late President Mr. West, and The Poacher detected, by Mr.
Lupton, from Mr. Kidd's beautiful picture.

~234~~of the plates, and the company dispersed in various parts of the
rooms, were the first objects of attention, and the whole appearance was
truly pleasing. At one end was to be seen an old Connoisseur examining
a most beautiful engraving from an excellent drawing by
Clennell{1}---another contemplating the brilliance of Goodall in
his beautiful print of the Fountains of Neptune in the Gardens of
Versailles. Dash all, who generally took care to see all before him,
animate and inanimate, was occasionally

1 Luke Clennell--This unfortunate artist, a native of
Morpeth, in Northumberland, and known to the world as an
eminent engraver on wood, as well as a painter of no
ordinary talent, has furnished one of those cases of human
distress and misery which calls for the sympathy and aid of
every friend to forlorn genius. In the midst of a
prosperous career, with fortune "both hands full," smiling
on every side, munificently treated by the British
Institution, employed on an important work by the Earl of
Bridgewater (a picture of the Fete given by the City of
London to the Allied Sovereigns,) and with no prospect but
that delightful one of fame and independence, earned by his
own exertions, the most dreadful affliction of life befel
him, and insanity rooted where taste and judgment so
conspicuously shone. The wretched artist was of necessity
separated from his family; his young wife, the mother of his
three infants, descended to the grave a broken-hearted
victim, leaving the poor orphans destitute. The Print
alluded to in this case, representing the Charge of the Life
Guards at Waterloo in 1816, was published by subscription
for their benefit.

~235~~casting glimpses at the pictures and the sprightly females by
which they were surrounded, and drawing his Cousin to such subjects as
appeared to be most deserving of attention; among which, the fine effect
produced by Mr. W. B. Cooke stood high in his estimation, particularly
in his View of Edinburgh from Calton Hill, and Brightling Observatory in
Rose Hill--Le Keux, in his Monument, also partook of his encomiums--T.
Woolroth's Portraits, particularly that of the Duchess of Kent, claimed
attention, and was deservedly admired, as well as a smaller one of Mr.
Shalis by the same artist; indeed, the whole appeared to be selected,
combined and arranged under the direction of a master, and calculated
at once to surprise and delight. After enjoying an hour's lounge in this
agreeable company,

"Come," said Dashall, "we will repair to Somerset House, and amuse
ourselves with colours.

"Halloo!" said a smart looking young man behind them--"_what am you
arter?--where is you going to?_"

Upon turning round, Dashall discovered it to be the exquisite Mr.
Mincingait, who, having just caught a glimpse of him, and not knowing
what to do with himself, hung as it were upon the company of Tom and his
friend, by way of killing a little time; and was displaying his person
and apparel to the greatest advantage as he pick'd his way along the
pavement, alternately picking his teeth and twirling his watch-chain.
Passing the end of Greek Street, some conversation having taken place
upon the dashing Society in which he had spent the previous evening, Tom
indulged himself in the following description of _How to Cut a Dash._

"Dashing society," said he, "is almost every where to be found in
London: it is indeed of so much importance among the generality of town
residents, that a sacrifice of every thing that is dear and valuable is
frequently made to appearance."

"You are a quiz," said Mincingait; "but I don't mind you, so go your
length."

"Very well," continued Tom; "then by way of instruction to my friend,
I will give my ideas upon the subject, and if perchance you should find
any resemblance to yourself in the picture I am about to draw, don't
let all the world know it. If you have an inclination to cut a dash,
situation and circumstances in life have nothing to ~236~~do with it;
a good bold face and a stock of assurance, are the most essential
requisites. With these, you must in the first place fall upon some
method to trick a tailor (provided you have not certain qualms that will
prevent you) by getting into his debt, for much depends upon exteriors.
There is no crime in this, for you pay him if you are able--and good
clothes are very necessary for a dash; having them cut after the newest
fashion, is also very essential. Sally forth, if on a sunday morning in
quest of a companion with whom you have the night previous (at a tavern
or confectioner's) engaged to meet at the corner. After having passed
the usual compliments of the morning with him, place yourself in
a fashionable attitude, your thumbs thrust in your pantaloon's
pockets--the right foot thrown carelessly across the left, resting on
the toe, exhibits your line turned ancle, or new boot, and is certainly
a very modest attitude--your cravat finically adjusted, and tied
sufficiently tight to produce a fine full-blooming countenance: corsets
and bag pantaloons are indispensably necessary to accoutre you for the
stand. When in this trim, dilate upon the events of the times--know
but very little of domestic affairs--expatiate and criticise upon the
imperfections or charms of the passing multitude--tell a fine story to
some acquaintance who knows but little about you, and, by this means,
borrow as much money as will furnish you with a very small bamboo, or
very large cudgel; extremes are very indispensable for a good dash.

"It is extremely unbecoming for a gentleman of fashion to pay any regard
to that old superstitious ceremony of what is commonly called '_going to
church'_--or, at most, of attending more than half a day in the week.
To attend public worship more than one hour in seven days must be
very fatiguing to a person of genteel habits--besides it would be
countenancing an old established custom. In former times, a serious and
devout attention to divine service was not thought improper; but should
a gentleman of modern manners attend public worship, to discover,
according to the law of the polite, what new face of fashion appears, I
need not mention the absurdity of decent behaviour.

'What go to meeting, say?--why this the vulgar do, Yes, and it is a
custom old as Homer too! Sure, then, we folks of fashion must with this
dispense, Or differ in some way from folks of common sense.'

~237~~"Melodious, indeed, are the voices of ladies and gentlemen
whispering across the pews, politely inquiring after each other's
health--the hour at which they got home from their Saturday evening's
party--what gallants attended them; and what lasses they saw safe home.
How engaging the polite posture of looking on the person next you, or
in sound sleep, instead of sacred music, playing loud bass through the
nose! But to have proceeded methodically in enumerating the improvements
in manners, I ought, first, to have mentioned some of the important
advantages of staying from church until the service is half finished.
Should you attend at the usual hour of commencing service, you might
be supposed guilty of rising in the morning as early as nine or ten
o'clock, and by that means be thought shockingly ungenteel--and if
seated quietly in the pew, you might possibly remain unnoticed; but,
by thundering along the aisle in the midst of prayer or sermon, you are
pretty sure to command the attention of the audience, and obtain the
honour of being thought by some, to have been engaged in some genteel
affair the night before! Besides, it is well known that it is only the
vulgar that attend church in proper time.

"When you parade the streets, take off your hat to every gentleman's
carriage that passes; you may do the same to any pretty woman--for
if she is well bred, (you being smartly dressed) she will return the
compliment before she be able to recollect whether your's be a face she
has seen somewhere or not; those who see it, will call you a dashing
fellow. When a beggar stops you, put your hand in your pocket, and
tell him you are very sorry you have no change; this, you know, will be
strictly true, and speaking truth is always a commendable quality;--or,
if it suits you better, bid him go to the churchwarden--this you may
easily do in a dashing way. Never think of following any business or
profession,--such conduct is unworthy of a dasher. In the evening, never
walk straight along the foot-way, but go in a zigzag direction--this
will make some people believe you have been dashing down your bottle of
wine after dinner. No dasher goes home sober.

"On making your appearance in the ball-room, put your hat under your
arm: you will find an advantage in this, as it will make a stir in
the room to make way for you and your hat, and apprize them of your
entrance.

~238~~After one or two turns around the room, if the sets are all made
up, make a stand before one of the mirrors, to adjust your cravat, hair,
&c. Be sure to have your hair brushed all over the forehead, which will
give you a very ferocious appearance. If you catch a strange damsel's
eyes fixed upon you, take it for granted that you are a fascinating
fellow, and cut a prodigious dash. As soon as the first set have
finished.dancing, fix your thumbs as before-mentioned, and make a dash
through the gaping crowd in pursuit of a partner; if you are likely to
be disappointed in obtaining one with whom you are acquainted, select
the smallest child in the room; by that means, you will attract the
attention of the ladies, and secure to you the hand of a charming Miss
for the next dance. When on the floor with one of those dashing belles,
commence a _tete-a-tete_ with her, and pay no attention whatever to the
figure or steps, but walk as deliberately as the music will admit (not
dropping your little chit chat) through the dance, which is considered,
undoubtedly, very graceful, and less like a mechanic or dancing-master.
The dance finished, march into the bar, and call for a glass of
blue-ruin, white-tape, or stark-naked, which is a very fashionable
liquor among the 'ton,' and if called on to pay for it, tell the
landlord you have left your purse in one of your blues at home; and that
you will recollect it at the next ball--this, you know, can be done in
a genteel way, and you will be 'all the go.' Return into the room, and
either tread upon some gentleman's toes, or give him a slight touch with
your elbow: which, if he be inclined to resent, tell him, 'pon lionour,'
you did not observe him, or, if inclined to suffer it with impunity--'
Get out of the way, fellow, d----n you.'

On your way home, after escorting your fair inamorata to her peaceful
abode, make a few calls for the purpose of taking a little more stimulus
with some particular friends, and then return home for the night to
'steep your senses in forgetfulness.'"

"A very amusing and useful account, truly," said Bob, as his Cousin
closed his chapter of instructions How to Cut a Dash.

"It is, at least, a just and true delineation of living character."

"Not without a good portion of caricature," said Mincingait. "You
are downright scurrilous, and ought not to be tolerated in civilized
society. Sink me, if you ~239~~are not quite a bore, and not fit company
for a Gentleman. so I shall wish you a good morning."

Tom and Bob laughed heartily at this declaration of the Dashing Blade,
and, wishing him a pleasant walk and a safe return, they separated.

By this time they had arrived at Somerset House: it was near three
o'clock, and the Rooms exhibited a brilliant crowd of rank and fashion,
which considerably enhanced the value of its other decorations.

"I have already," said Dashall, "given you a general description of this
building, and shall therefore confine my present observations wholly to
the establishment of the Royal Academy for the encouragement of the Fine
Arts, for the cultivation of which London is now much and deservedly
distinguished; and to the progressive improvement in which we are
indebted to that Exhibition we have already witnessed. This Academy
was opened by Royal Charter in 1768; and it consists of forty members,
called Royal Academicians, twenty Associates, and six Associate
Engravers. The first President was the justly celebrated Sir Joshua
Reynolds; the second, the highly respected Benjamin West; and the
present, is Sir Thomas Lawrence.

"The Academy possesses a fine collection of casts and models, from
antique statues, &c. a School of colouring, from pictures of the best
masters. Lectures are delivered by the stated Professors in their
various branches, to the Students during the winter season; prize
medals are given annually for the best academy figures and drawings
of buildings; and gold medals for historical composition in painting,
sculpture, and designs in Architecture, once in two years; which latter
are presented to the successful Artists in full assembly, accompanied
with a discourse from the President, calculated to stimulate
perseverance and exertion. Students have at all times, (except during
the regular vacations,) an opportunity of studying nature from well
chosen models, and of drawing from the antique casts.

"This Exhibition is generally opened on the first of May. The number
of works of art, consisting of paintings, sculptures, models, proof
engravings and drawings, generally exhibited, are upwards of one
thousand; and are usually visited by all the gaiety and fashion of the
Metropolis, between the hours of two and five o'clock in ~240~~the day.
The rooms are elegant and spacious; and I consider it at all times
a place where a shilling may be well spent, and an hour or two well
enjoyed.

"Some spend a life in classing grubs, and try,
New methods to impale a butterfly;
Or, bottled up in spirits, keep with care
A crowd of reptiles--hideously rare;
While others search the mouldering wrecks of time,
And drag their stores from dust and rust and slime;
Coins eat with canker, medals half defac'd,
And broken tablets, never to be trac'd;
Worm-eaten trinkets worn away of old,
And broken pipkins form'd in antique mould;
Huge limbless statues, busts of heads forgot,
And paintings representing none knows what;
Strange legends that to monstrous fables lead,
And manuscripts that nobody can read;
The shapeless forms from savage hands that sprung,
And fragments of rude art, when Art was young.
This precious lumber, labell'd, shelv'd, and cas'd,
And with a title of Museum grac'd,
Shews how a man may time and fortune waste,
And die a mummy'd connoisseur of taste."

[Illustration: page240 Somerset House]

On entering the rooms, Bob was bewildered with delight; the elegance
of the company, the number and excellence of the paintings, were
attractions so numerous and splendid, as to leave him no opportunity
of decidedly fixing his attention. He was surrounded by all that
could enchant the eye and enrapture the imagination. Moving groups of
interesting females were parading the rooms with dashing partners
at their elbows, pointing out the most beautiful paintings from the
catalogues, giving the names of the artists, or describing the subjects.
Seated on one of the benches was to be seen the tired Dandy, whose
principal inducement to be present at this display of the Arts, was to
exhibit his own pretty person, and attract a little of the public gaze
by his preposterous habiliments and unmeaning countenance; to fasten
upon the first person who came within the sound of his scarcely
articulate voice with observing, "It is d----d hot, 'pon honour--can't
stand it--very fatiguing--I wonder so many persons are let in at
once--there's no such thing as seeing, I declare, where there is such
a crowd: I must come again, that's the end of it." On another, was the
full-dressed Elegante, with her bonnet in one hand, and her catalogue
in the other, apparently intent upon examining the pictures before
~241~~her, while, in fact, her grand aim was to discover whether she
herself was observed. The lounging Blood, who had left his horses at
the door, was bustling among the company with his quizzing-glass in his
hand, determined, if possible, to have a peep at every female he met,
caring as much for the Exhibition itself, as the generality of the
visitors cared for him. The Connoisseur was placing his eye occasionally
close to the paintings, or removing to short distances, right and left,
to catch them in the most judicious lights, and making remarks on his
catalogue with a pencil; and Mrs. Roundabout, from Leadenhall, who had
brought her son Dicky to see the show, as she called it, declared it was
the '_most finest_ sight she ever seed, lifting up her hand and eyes at
the same time as Dicky read over the list, and charmed her by reciting
the various scraps of poetry inserted in the catalogue to elucidate
the subjects. It was altogether a source of inexpressible delight and
amusement. Tom, whose taste for the arts qualified him well for the
office of guide upon such an occasion, directed the eye of his Cousin
to the best and most masterly productions in the collection, and
whose attention was more particularly drawn to the pictures (though
occasionally devoted to the inspection of a set of well-formed features,
or a delicately turned ancle,) was much pleased to find Bob so busy in
enquiry and observation.

"We have here," said Tom, "a combination of the finest specimens in the
art of painting laid open annually for public inspection. Music, Poetry,
and Painting, have always been held in high estimation by those who
make any pretensions to an improved mind and a refined taste. In this
Exhibition the talents of the Artists in their various lines may be
fairly estimated, and the two former may almost be said to give life to
the latter, in which the three are combined. The Historian, the Poet,
and the Philosopher, have their thoughts embodied by the Painter; and
the tale so glowingly described in language by the one, is brought full
before the eye by the other; while the Portrait-painter hands down, by
the vivid touches of his pencil, the features and character of those who
by their talents have deservedly signalized themselves in society.
The face of nature is displayed in the landscape, and the force of
imagination by the judicious selector of scenes from actual life. Hence
painting is the fascinating region of enchantment. The pencil is a
magic wand; it calls up ~242~~to view the most extensive and variegated
scenery calculated to wake the slumbering mind to thought.

"----To mark the mighty hand
That, ever busy, wheels the silent spheres,
Works in the secret deep; shoots steaming thence
The fair profusion that o'erspreads the Spring;
Flings from the sun direct the naming day;
Feeds every creature; hurls the tempest forth;
And as on earth this grateful change revolves.
With transport touches all the springs of life."

"Upon my life!" cried Bob, "we seem to have no need of Sparkle now, for
you are endeavouring to imitate him."

"Your observations maybe just, in part," replied Tom; "but I can assure
you I have no inclination to continue in the same strain. At the
same time, grave subjects, or subjects of the pencil and graver, are
deserving of serious consideration, except where the latter are engaged
in caricature."

"And that has its utility," said Bob.

"To be sure it has," continued Tom--"over the human mind, wit, humour
and ridicule maintain authoritative influence. The ludicrous images
which flit before the fancy, aided by eccentric combinations, awaken
the risible powers, and throw the soul into irresistible tumults of
laughter. Who can refrain from experiencing risible emotions when
he beholds a lively representation of Don Quixote and Sancho
Panca--Hudibras and his Ralpho--merry old Falstaff shaking his fat
sides, gabbling with Mrs. Quickly, and other grotesque figures to be
found in the vast variety of human character? To lash the vices and
expose the follies of mankind, is the professed end of this species of
painting.