Real Life In London, Volumes I. and II.

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When the glittering of London pleasures first meets the eye
of a young man placed upon the road of a mercantile life, or
when he enters any of the multifarious departments in the
machine of society which always lead the industrious and
prudent to honourable emolument, he too frequently
misconceives the fashionable gamester's character, and
confounds his crimes with elegant accomplishments. The road
to pleasure is broad, and the gates of these Hells are open
to him at hours when he can be absent, and can indulge his
whim without suspicion--for at first he looks upon his new
enjoyment but a mere whim, which he can abandon at any
moment. But how different is the proof! He goes on--his new
made wings carry him through a region of delight, and he
believes himself to possess the powers of the eagle--still
lighter he ascends, and the solid earth on which he formerly
trod in safety, recedes immeasurably from his giddy eye--at
length his wings prove wax, they melt before the sun, and
the victim of his own folly tumbles into the abyss of
destruction.

It is no uncommon thing, nay, we will positively declare it
to be a very frequent practice of these misled young men,
when they have been initiated, and have the temporary
command of money belonging to their employers, to go to the
Rouge et Noir tables, armed (as they think) with
impenetrable armour--a large sum; and, in the hope of
profiting to a certain amount, risk that property, the loss
of which would be the loss of every thing dear to them in
society. They believe, from the greatness of the amount they
possess, that they can command a small gain, and not for a
moment doubt they will be able to replace or return the
money entrusted to their care; but little do they know the
fickleness of luck, and less do they suspect the odds and
imposing roguery arrayed against them. Their first loss is
trifling, but they have to win that back iu addition to
their expected profits; for this purpose they stake a larger
sum, which, if they lose, increases their task, and so on,
until the half-frantic victims see no hope but desperation,
and their remaining stock is placed upon the chance of a
single card. The event closes, and the man who yesterday
enjoyed the good opinion of the world, and the esteem and
confidence of his friends, to-day becomes the veriest
outcast of society! These are common cases, one of which,
for example, we will describe as the facts occurred:--In the
year 1816, a Clerk, possessing the highest reputation,
became a frequenter of a Rouge et Noir table. From the
nature of his employment, he had daily the command of large
sums, which, for a short time, he risked at play
successfully. One day, however, he brought with him his
employer's money, to the amount of 1700L. the whole of
which, in two days, he lost. We may judge of the unhappy
young man's feelings by his subsequent conduct. He wrote a
confession of the affair to the man he wronged, retired to a
tavern, and blew his brains out!

These gaming-tables open at half-past twelve o'clock,
continue their orgies until five, and recommence at seven in
the evening. How many young men are passing their doors at
these hours with the property of others in their pockets!--
and what a temptation to risk it! It would seem as if these
places were set up as shops designed chiefly for the
accommodation of mid-day dealers in ill-fortune, as if
levelled directly at those men who cannot or will not spend
their nights in gambling; and how the proprietors contrive
to escape detection and punishment is surprising,
considering that the law affords ample means to put them
down.

~200~~they know their customers, and place themselves here to watch the
progress of their gains. Their attentions are always directed to the
new-comers. Remorseless, avaricious, and happy--unmarked with the lines
of care, which contract and deform the faces of their victims, "They
smile and smile, and murder while they smile." They will explain
the fairness of the game, and tell you of the great losses they have
sustained; but as this is no place for explanation, we must look on and
say nothing."

By this time, Merrywell and Mortimer were mingled in the throng at the
table. Sparkle was engaged in conversation with an old acquaintance, a
profusion of money was flying about, and a large heap or bank was placed
in the centre. All was anxiety, and, for a few moments, no sound was
heard, but the awful numbers of the eventful dealer; every countenance
was hushed in expectation, and every eye was fixed upon the coming card,
which should decide the fate of hundreds. It was an awful moment to
every one engaged in the play; but the pause was succeeded with a sort
of harlequinade movement, to a scene of confusion and uproar scarcely to
be conceived.

The appearance at the door of half a dozen persons armed with pistols,
rushing past the guardians, and bearing ~201~~away all before them, had
such an instantaneous effect upon the company, that they all arose,
as it were, to receive them, and the leader of the party threw himself
suddenly upon the pile of Bank-notes in the centre of the table, with
intent to seize the whole bank.

Confusion and dismay were now visibly depicted on every countenance, for
some, actuated by desperation at the prospect of ruin, and others by the
urgings of avarice, determined to have a scramble for the notes, which
they commenced most furiously, each one securing as much as he could to
himself. There was tumbling and tossing, and pulling and shoving, mouths
stuffed with hundreds, hundreds of mouths that were supperless, and
likely to continue so, unless they could now make sure of something.
Bank paper was literally going for nothing. However, the pistols being
the most powerful, the armed forces succeeded in seizing the greatest
share of the stock, and a negative sort of silence was at length
restored. The party was materially decreased; for, seeing they were
betrayed, every one, after an endeavour to secure a share of the spoil,
deemed it necessary to make good his retreat; and among the rest,
our party, who had not interfered with the play, or assisted in the
entertainment, soon found themselves in the street.

"Egad," said Sparkle, "I think we are in luck to escape so easily;
we might have been compelled to make our appearance at Bow Street
to-morrow, an occurrence I would studiously avoid."

"Well done, old steady," said Tom; "it is not long, you know, since you
was there, after a night's lodging in the neighbourhood."

"That was under very different circumstances," continued Sparkle; "in
defence of a woman I would risk my life at any time, but I would by
no means incur the imputation of being a gambler--it is a character I
abhor. I have before said I would never venture into those dens again,
to herd with swindlers of all descriptions."

"They all seem gay fellows, too," said Bob.

"Yes," replied Sparkle; "but the character and conduct of a young man
has ere now been altered in one night: the evil effects produced by
initiation to those Hells are incalculable."

"Moralizing at midnight," said Tom; "an excellent title for a volume
_sparkling_ contemplations."

~202~~"To be written by the Hon. Tom Dashall, or the Merry Devil of
Piccadilly," was the reply.

"Huzza!" said Merrywell, "if this is the case, our time will not be lost
in this excursion. Did you hear that Lord ---- has been compelled to put
down his establishment in consequence of his losses at play? pray don't
forget to mention that in the work."

"Tis no new thing," continued Sparkle, "for Lords of the present day,
since I believe there are few of the nobility who are not either Greeks
or Pigeons; indeed, the list of visitors to these places contains names
of many persons who should set better examples to the humbler classes of
the community; for the unfortunate results of this too fatal propensity
to parents and society have been severely felt. Among many instances
on record, a very interesting one is related of a young Subaltern in a
regiment of cavalry, who, by successive losses, was reduced to such a
state of distress, as to form the desperate resolution of trying the
road. In a moment of agony, he accidentally met with an opportunity
which seemed to favour his design, having learned that a certain
Baronet, recently returned from India with abundance of wealth, had laid
it out on landed estates in England, and that he would on a certain day
cross the country with a large sum of money, after collecting his rents.

"He laid his plan for a meeting on a retired spot, and succeeded in
stopping the carriage--' Your money or your life,' said he, presenting
his pistol with a trembling hand. The Baronet, perceiving there was a
sort of gentlemanly air about him which indicated something more than
might be calculated on in the character of a highwayman, presented him
with his purse, a watch, and a valuable diamond ring, remarking, he
could not help conceiving that he was unaccustomed to the trade, and
that it was most desirable he should abandon it for ever. The
young Officer, though considerably confused and embarrassed by this
observation, was not to be disappointed of his booty, returned this
property, and demanded the larger sum, which for safety had been
concealed in the bottom of the carriage. The manner however in which
this was done, only served to confirm the suspicions of the Baronet,
which he could not help expressing, as he acknowledged the accuracy of
the Highwayman's information, and produced the property, observing, he
was sure that ~203~~circumstances of no common kind could have impelled
him to this flagrant breach of the laws. He asked as a favour, that he
would grant him an interview at some future period, pledging his honour
that he should have no occasion to repent such a singular mark of
confidence.

"The Officer replied that he had, and he felt he could with safety
trust both his life and his honour in the veracity of Sir ----, and
appointed a meeting at the London Coffee House, Ludgate Hill, only
stipulating, that at such meeting both parties were to be unattended.
As the day of meeting approached, the Baronet thought seriously of the
solicited rencontre, and after enjoining perfect secresy on the part of
his friend, Col. ----, entreated him to be his companion. The Colonel
laughed at the idea, that any man who had robbed another should so
indiscreetly place his life in his hands, had no conception of his
keeping his appointment, and solemnly assured the Baronet that he would
in no case divulge who or what he was, that he might become acquainted
with.

"The Colonel ridiculed his friend's credulity as they entered the house,
and were shewn to a private room. The appointed hour was eight in the
evening, and, as the clock of St. Paul's struck, a Gentleman inquiring
for Sir ---- was shewn into the room--wine was ordered, and for an hour
a general conversation on the popular topics of the day ensued, when the
Gentleman, evidently under deeply impressed feelings of embarrassment
and disappointment, in which the Colonel seemed to partake, arose, and
politely took his leave.

"' Well,' said the Baronet, 'what think you of my Highwayman now 1--am I
not right?--is he not a gentleman?'

"' And this is the robber, is it, Sir?' said the Colonel--'Be assured
he shall swing for it--why, Sir, I know him well, he is a ---- in my own
regiment.'

"'Hold,' said the Baronet, 'don't be rash, remember the solemn promise
you have given, and do not deceive me--I hold you bound to me, and will
not permit you to break your engagement--I have better objects in view
than the death of a fellow-creature.'

"He then requested to be informed of the general tenor of the young
man's conduct, which he found to be excellent, and that he was an
indefatigable officer--'Indeed,' said the Colonel, 'it would give me the
greatest ~204~~pain to lose him--an incomparably affectionate husband
and father. He has but one vice, to which may be attributed his
destruction, viz. his inordinate passion for gaming; but I cannot feel
justified in screening so flagrant an offender--the law must take its
course.'

"'Moderate your indignation,' said the worthy Baronet, assuming a more
serious tone, 'and remember you must be personalty answerable to me for
any disclosure you may think proper to make; and that inasmuch as you
injure him, you must injure me. You have already given him so high a
character in every respect but one, that I must interest you further
in his behalf, and beg you to assist me in my endeavours to reclaim,
instead of punishing him.'

"The Colonel was surprised; but the Baronet was inflexible. In vain
he urged that the magnitude of the crime utterly precluded such a
proceeding.

"' It must be done,' said the Baronet, 'it shall be done. Leave all the
consequences to me; he has now left us in extreme, though suppressed
agitation--There is no time to lose--fly to save him.'

"The Colonel expressed his readiness to try the experiment.

"' Then,' said the Baronet, 'follow him immediately, assure him of
my forgiveness, and that if he will pledge his word to forsake this
dangerous vice, what he has already obtained he may hold as a gift, and
I will add whatever may be necessary to extricate him from any temporary
embarrassment.'

"It was an important embassy--life or death was to be decided by it. The
Colonel took his departure, certain of finding him at home taking leave
of his family, and, reaching his habitation a short time after his
arrival, witnessed a scene of misery which, although he had partly
anticipated, he could not have conceived. He found him, surrounded by
his wife and children, in an agony of desperation and despair.

"When he entered the apartment, the poor culprit, convinced by the
presence of his Colonel that all was lost, fell on his knees, and
supplicated if possible that his fame, not his life, might be spared for
the sake of his afflicted but innocent and injured family. Language has
no power to describe the surprise and consternation with which, after a
severe lecture, he received the joyful intelligence of ~205~~which
his Colonel was the bearer. He returned with his Commanding Officer
to ---- Square, where he was received by the Baronet as a repentant
friend; and has lived to repair his error, and become deservedly
distinguished as an ornament to society, civil and religious as well as
military."

"That must be truly gratifying to the worthy Baronet,{1}' said Tom.

"No doubt of it," continued Sparkle, "it must be a source of continued
pleasure to find his labours have had so beneficial a result, having in
all probability saved a whole family from destruction. Surely it may be
said, that

"Among the idiot pranks of Wealth's abuse,
None seem so monstrous, none have less excuse,
Than those which throw an heritage away
Upon the lawless chance of desperate play;
Nor is there among knaves a wretch more base
Than he who steals it with a smiling face,
Who makes diversion to destruction tend,
And thrives upon the ruin of a friend."

--"Yet the Greek, like the swindler{l} and the horse jockey,

1 Swindler--Is a term originally derived from the German,
Schwindel, which signifies merely to cheat. It was first
introduced as a cant term, and used to signify obtaining of
goods, credit, or money, under false pretences. It has since
had a legislative adoption, being parliamentary recognised
by an Act for the prevention of it. The artifices, schemes,
and crimes, resorted to by these gentry, are so numerous,
that it would be impossible to describe them all. One mode
of practice, however, is not uncommon in London.

Three or four swell Jews contrive to hire a large house with
some spare rooms, in the City, that are turned into
warehouses, in which are a number of casks, boxes, &e.
filled with sand; and also a quantity of large sugar-loaves
in appearance, which are only clay done up in blue paper,
but corded and made up with great nicety.

An elegant Counting-house is likewise furnished with books
and other apparatus, to deceive the eye and give the
appearance of extensive business, great regularity, and
large property. The Clerks in attendance are a set of Jews,
who are privy to the scheme, and equally ready at fraud as
those who profess to be the Principals.

A Dining-room elegantly furnished upon the _mace_,* receives
you

* The Mace--Is a person who carries all the appearance of a
great and rich man, with servants, carriages, &c. for the
purpose of defrauding tradesmen and others, by all manner of
plans most calculated to entrap the parties they intend to
dupe.

whenever it is necessary to admit of your visits; a Black
Servant opens the street-door, and the foot of the stair-
case presents surtouts, boots, livery-cloths, a large blue
coat with a yellow cape, and habiliments in which the
opulent! array their servants. With these and similar
merchant-like appearances Trade is commenced, and persons
dispatched to provincial manufacturing towns, to buy various
articles; for the amount of the first purchases, bills are
drawn upon the Firm, and even before the goods are pack'd
up, and sent according to order, the acceptances are paid,
and, by this means, credit is partly established, which,
once accomplished, they are in want of large assortments for
exportation upon credit, at one, two, and three months. The
goods are accordingly chosen and forwarded to their
associates in London, where they are immediately disposed
of at 20 or 30 per cent, cheaper than the prime cost, and
the money realised. The first bills become due, are noted,
and protested. The second are presented, but the House has
stopped payment, and the Owners are bankrupts. By the time
the third month's bills become due, the docket is struck,
the Assignees chosen, and there is not sixpence in the pound
left for the Creditors. Petitions are ineffectually
presented to the Chancellor, for a number of fictitious
Creditors, of the same profession and persuasion, over-swear
the just ones, and by exceeding them in number and value,
the House obtains its certificate, and has again the power
of committing similar depredations.

Perhaps the most daring and systematic proceeding of this
kind was that lately detected in the conspiracy of Mosely
Wolfe and his confederates, for which he is now suffering
the sentence of the law.

~206~~prides himself on his success, boasts of his being _down as a
nail_, and--"

"_Down as a nail!_" said Bob, "I don't remember hearing that expression
before."

"_Down as a hammer, or Down as a nail_" continued Sparkle, "are cant or
slang terms made use of among gamblers, and are synonimous with being
up; and it must be confessed that there are many ups and downs amongst
them. These flash words are well understood by many a young Greek, who
perhaps knows nothing of the Greek Testament, although the use of them
has proved in some cases beyond the comprehension of a Judge. Hence the
necessity of knowing Life; for if a man gets familiarized with low life,
he will necessarily be up, and consequently stand a great chance of
being a rising genius. How proper it must be to know how to get a rise
upon a fellow, or, in other words, to get him in a line!

"A learned Judge once, examining a queer covy, a flash customer, or a
rum fellow, asked him his reason for suspecting the prisoner at the
bar of stealing a watch, (which among the lads is scientifically
termed nimming a toiler, or ~207~~nabbing a clicker,) replied as
follows:--'Why, your honour, only because you see as how I was up to
him.'--'How do you mean, what is being up to him? '--' Why, bless your
heart, I was down upon him, and had him bang.' But still perceiving the
learned Gentleman's want of nous, he endeavoured to explain by saying,
That he was _up to his gossip_,--that he stagged him, for he was not
to be done--that he knew the trick, and was up the moment the chap
came into the Cock and Hen Club, where he was tucking in his grub and
bub.--Had the learned Judge been up himself, much time and trouble might
have been saved; and indeed the importance of being down as a nail, to a
man of fashion, is almost incalculable; for this reason it is, that men
of high spirit think it no derogation from their dignity or rank, to be
well acquainted with all the slang of the coachman and stable-boy,
all the glossary of the Fancy, and all the mysterious language of
the scamps, the pads, the divers, and all upon the lay, which, by an
attentive and apt scholar, may easily be procured at a Gaming-house.

"Of Hells in general, it may fairly be asserted, that they are
infernally productive; no other line of business can be compared to
these money mills, since they are all thriving concerns, the proprietors
of which keep their country houses, extensive establishments, dashing
equipages; and

"While they have money they ride it in chaises.
And look very big upon those that have none."

"It certainly is a pity that men do not keep constantly in their
recollection, that no calculation of chances can avail them, and that
between the apres, the limitation of stakes, and other manouvres, the
table must eventually be an immense winner.

"For Greeks stick at nothing to gain their own ends, And they sacrifice
all their acquaintance and friends;

And thus luckless P'----n, to gain what he'd lost,

Put his faith in a Greek, which he knows to his cost; Join'd a bank, as
he thought, when the sly Greeking elf Of a friend soon contriv'd for
to break it himself. You credulous pigeons! I would have you beware, Of
falling yourselves in a similar snare."

"We ought to consider ourselves greatly obliged," said Merry well, "for
the accurate description of characters ~208~~you have given. But have
you heard the report that is now in circulation, that a certain
Marquis of high military celebrity, and whose property is, or was, very
considerable, has lost almost his last shilling?"

"I," said Sparkle, "am seldom surprised at such rumours, particularly of
persons who are known to be players, for they are rich and poor in rapid
succession; but if there be any truth in the report, there is a fine
example of perseverance before him--for Lord ----, after a long run of
ill-luck, being refused the loan of an additional rouleau,{1} on
account of his score being rather long, left the company in dudgeon, and
determining on revenge, actually opened another Hell in opposition to
the one he had left, and by that means recovered all his money."

"That was well done," rejoined Tallyho.

"It was rather too much of a trading concern for a Lord," said Tom.

"Not for a gambling Lord," replied Merry well; "for there is in fact
nothing beneath a Greek, in the way of play: besides, it was a trying
situation, and required some desperate attempt--they care not who they
associate with, so they do but bring grist to the mill."

"The confusion of persons and characters at a Gaming-house," said
Sparkle, "are almost incredible, all ranks and descriptions are mingled
together.

"What confusion of titles and persons we see Amongst Gamesters, who
spring out of every degree, From the prince to the pauper; all panting
for play, Their fortune, their time, and their life pass away; Just as
mingled are Pigeons, for 'tis no rebuke For a Greek to pluck all, from a
Groom to a Duke."

"It is too true," said Dashall, "and equally as certain, that there are
continually new comers ready and willing to be duped, or at least ready
to risk their property, notwithstanding the warnings they have from
their more experienced friends."

"And is there no possibility of obtaining fair play?" inquired Bob, "or
redress for being pigeon'd, as you term it?"

1 A Rouleau--Is a packet containing one hundred guineas; but
as guineas are not quite so fashionable in the present day
as they formerly were, some of these Houses, for the
accommodation of their customers, circulate guinea-notes
upon their bankers.

~209~~"None," said Sparkle; "for if men will play at bowls, they must
expect rubbers; and the system of confederacy is carried on every where,
though perhaps with most success in those professed Gambling-houses,
which young men of property ought carefully to avoid."

By this time they had reached the end of St. James's Street; it was
therefore proposed by Sparkle that they should separate, particularly
as it was growing late, or rather early in the morning; and, as they had
been in some degree baffled in their attempt to take a minute survey
of the proceedings in Pall Mall, they had no decided object in
view. Accordingly they parted, Tom and Bob pursuing their way along
Piccadilly, while Sparkle, Merrywell, and Mortimer, proceeded down Bond
Street.