The Shopkeeper Turned Gentleman
M >>
Moliere (Poquelin) >> The Shopkeeper Turned Gentleman
THE MUFTI (_giving a sabre to_ MR. JOURDAIN).
Ti star nobile, non star fabbola. [Be brave, be no Scoundrel]
Pigliar schiabbola [Take the Sword.]
THE TURKS (_drawing their sabres_).
Ti star nobile, non star fabbola. [Be brave, be no Scoundrel]
Pigliar schiabbola. [Take the Sword.]
_Fourth entry of the_ BALLET.
_The_ TURKS, _dancing, strike_ MR. JOURDAIN _several times
with their swords, keeping time with the music_.
THE MUFTI.
Dara, dara
Bastonnara. [Give, give the bastonnade.]
THE TURKS.
Dara, dara
Bastonnara. [Give, give the bastonnade.]
_Fifth entry of the_ BALLET.
_The_ Turks, _dancing, give_ MR. JOURDAIN _several blows
with a stick, keeping time meanwhile_.
THE MUFTI.
Non tener honta; [Think it not a shame;]
Questa star l'ultima affronta. [This is the last affront.]
THE TURKS.
Non tener honta; [Think it not a shame;]
Questa star l'ultima affronta. [This is the last affront.]
_The_ MUFTI _begins a third invocation. The_ DERVISHES
_support him under the arms with great respect, after which the_
TURKS, _singing and dancing round the_ MUFTI, _retire with him,
and lead off_ MR. JOURDAIN.
ACT V.
SCENE I.--MRS. JOURDAIN, MR. JOURDAIN.
MRS. JOUR. Goodness gracious me! Lord, have mercy on us! What can this
be? What a figure! Is it a _momon_ [Footnote: Apparently there is
no English equivalent to _momon_ in this sense.] you have in
hand, and is this carnival time? Do speak! What does all this mean?
Who trussed you up in this manner?
MR. JOUR. Just see the impertinent woman, to speak after such a manner
to a _mamamouchi_.
MRS. JOUR. What do you say?
MR. JOUR. Yes, you must show me respect now; I have just been made a
_mamamouchi_.
MRS. JOUR. What can you possibly mean with your _mamamouchi_?
MR. JOUR. _Mamamouchi_, I tell you; I am a _mamamouchi_.
MRS. JOUR. What kind of a beast is that?
MR. JOUR. _Mamamouchi_; which in our language means paladin.
MRS. JOUR. Ballet in? Are you of an age to be dancing ballets?
MR. JOUR. What an ignorant woman you are! I say "paladin," which is a
dignity which has just been conferred upon me with all due ceremony.
MRS. JOUR. What ceremony?
MR. JOUR. _Mahameta per Jordina_.
MRS. JOUR. What does that mean?
MR. JOUR. _Jordina, that is to say Jourdain_.
MRS. JOUR. Well? What, Jourdain?
MR. JOUR. _Voler far un paladina de Jordina_.
MRS. JOUR. What?
MR. JOUR. _Dar turbanta con galera_.
MRS. JOUR. What does that mean?
MR. JOUR. _Per deffender Palestina_.
MRS. JOUR. Tell me what you mean then.
MR. JOUR. _Dara, dara bastonnara_.
MRS. JOUR. What is all this jargon?
MR. JOUR. _Non tener honta, questa star l'ultima affronta_.
MRS. JOUR. Whatever is all this?
MR. JOUR. (_singing and dancing_). _Hou la ba, ba la chow, ba
la ba, ba la da_. (_Falls to the ground_.)
MRS. JOUR. Alas, alas! my husband is gone out of his mind.
MR. JOUR. (_getting up and walking off_). Peace! Show respect to
the _mamamouchi_.
MRS. JOUR. (_alone_). Where can he have lost his senses? I must
run after him and prevent him from going out! (_Seeing_ DORIMENE
_and_ DORANTE.) Oh dear! Oh dear! Here's the last straw! I see
nothing but trouble and disgrace everywhere!
SCENE II.--DORANTE, DORIMENE.
DOR. Yes, Madam, it is the most amusing thing that you ever saw, and I
do not think that there is in the whole world a man as, crazy as this
one. Moreover, we must try to help Cleonte and back up his masquerade.
He is a most excellent fellow, and one who deserves all your interest.
DORI. I have the greatest esteem for him, and he is worthy of all
success.
DOR. We also have here, Madam, a ballet due to us. We must not miss
it, for I should be glad to see if my idea succeeds.
DORI. I saw magnificent preparations yonder; and this is a state of
things, Dorante, with which I can bear no longer. Yes, I must put an
end to your profusion; and in order to cut short all the expenses I
see you run into for me, I have decided upon marrying you as soon as
possible. This is the real secret of my decision; all these things, as
you know, end ever in matrimony.
DOR. Ah, Madam, is it possible that you should have come to such a
kind determination in my favour?
DORI. It is only to prevent you from ruining yourself, for, if I am
not quick, I clearly see that before long you will not have a penny
left.
DOR. What thanks I owe you for your anxiety about my fortune! That and
my heart are entirely yours, and you can dispose of both as shall seem
good to you.
DORI. I will make a right use of both. But here is our man coming.
What an admirable figure!
SCENE III.--MR. JOURDAIN, DORIMENE, DORANTE.
DOR. Sir, we have both come to do homage to your new dignity, and to
rejoice with you over the marriage of your daughter with the son of
the Grand Turk.
MR. JOUR. (_after bowing in the Turkish manner_). Sir, I wish you
the strength of the serpent, and the wisdom of the lion.
DORI. I am very glad to be one of the first, Sir, to come and
congratulate you on the high degree of glory to which you are raised.
MR. JOUR. Madam, may your rose-tree bloom all the year round. I am
infinitely obliged to you for interesting yourself in the honour just
bestowed upon me; and I am greatly rejoiced to see you back here, so
that I may tender to you my most humble apologies for the
extraordinary conduct of my wife.
DORI. Don't speak about it. I excuse in her such a momentary impulse;
your heart ought to be very precious to her; and it is not to be
wondered at that the possession of such a man as you are may cause her
some alarm.
MR. JOUR. The possession of my heart is a thing you have altogether
acquired.
DOR. You see, Madam, that Mr. Jourdain is not one of those whom
prosperity blinds, and that, even in his elevation, he knows how to
recognise his friends.
DORI. It is the proof of a truly generous soul.
DOR. Where can his Turkish highness be? We should like, as your
friends, to pay our homage to him.
MR. JOUR. Here he is coming, and I sent for my daughter to give him
her hand.
SCENE IV.--MR. JOURDAIN, DORIMENE, DORANTE, CLEONTE (_dressed as a
Turk_).
DORI. (_to_ CLEONTE). Sir, we come, as friends of your father-in-law,
to salute your highness, and to assure you with all respect of our most
humble services.
MR. JOUR. Where is the interpreter, to tell him who you are, and to
make him understand what you say? You shall see that he will answer
you, and he speaks Turkish wonderfully well. Holla, here! where the
deuce is he gone? (_To_ CLEONTE) _Strouf strif, strof, straf_. This
gentleman is a _grande segnore, grande segnore, grande segnore_;
and this lady a _granda dama, granda dama. (Seeing that he is not
understood)_ Ah! (_To_ CLEONTE, _showing him_ DORANTE) This
gentleman is a French _mamamouchi_, and the lady she is a French
_mamamouchess_. I cannot explain myself more clearly. Good! Here
is the interpreter.
SCENE V.--MR. JOURDAIN, DORIMENE, DORANTE, CLEONTE (_dressed as a
Turk_); COVIELLE (_disguised_).
MR. JOUR. Where are you going, then? You know that we can say nothing
without you. (_Showing_ CLEONTE.) Just tell him that this
gentleman and this lady are people of very high rank, who have come to
pay their homage to him, as friends of mine, and to assure him of
their services. (_To_ DORIMENE _and_ DORANTE) You will see how
he will answer.
COV. _Alabala crociam acci boram alabamen_.
CLE. _Catalequi tubal ouria soter amalouchan_.
MR. JOUR. (to DORIMENE and DORANTE). Do you see?
COV. He says, "May the rain of prosperity water at all times the
garden of your family."
MR. JOUR. I told you that he spoke Turkish.
DOR. This is admirable.
SCENE VI.--LUCILE, CLEONTE, MR. JOURDAIN, DORIMENE, DORANTE, COVIELLE.
MR. JOUR. Come, my daughter; come near, and give your hand to this
gentleman, who does you the honour of asking you in marriage.
LUC. Why, father, how strangely dressed you are! Are you acting a
comedy?
MR. JOUR. No, no; it is no comedy, but a very serious affair, and the
most honourable for you that could ever be wished for. (_Showing_
CLEONTE.) Here is the husband I bestow upon you.
LUC. Bestow upon me, father?
MR. JOUR. Yes, upon you. There, give him your hand, and thank heaven
for your good fortune.
LUC. I have no wish to marry.
MR. JOUR. It is all very well, but I wish it; I who am your father.
LUC. I will do nothing of the kind.
MR. JOUR. Ah! what a noise! Come, I say, give him your hand.
LUC. No, father; I told you already that no power upon earth will
force me to marry any other but Cleonte; and I would have recourse to
any extremity rather than.... (_Recognising_ CLEONTE.) But it is
true that you are my father, and that I owe you absolute obedience;
dispose of me, then, according to your will.
MR. JOUR. Truly, I am delighted to see you return so quickly to a
sense of your duty; and it is a pleasure to me to have such an
obedient daughter.
SCENE VII.--MRS. JOURDAIN. CLEONTE, MR. JOURDAIN, LUCILE, DORANTE,
DORIMENE, COVIELLE.
MRS JOUR. What is it? What is the meaning of all this? They say you
want to give your daughter in marriage to a mummer.
MR. JOUR. Will you be silent? You always come and disturb everything
with your follies; and there is no possibility of teaching you how to
behave yourself.
MRS. JOUR. It is because there is no possibility of making you wise;
and you go from folly to folly. What are your intentions? and what do
you mean to do with all this assembly of people?
MR. JOUR. I wish to marry my daughter to the son of the Grand Turk.
MRS. JOUR. To the son of the Grand Turk?
MR. JOUR. (_showing_ COVIELLE). Yes; ask the interpreter to
present your compliments to him from you.
MRS. JOUR. I have no need of an interpreter, and I can tell him myself
easily to his face that he shall not have my daughter.
MR. JOUR. Will you be silent? I ask once more.
DOR. What! Mrs. Jourdain, you oppose yourself to such an honour as
this? You refuse his Turkish highness for a son-in-law?
MRS. JOUR. Good gracious, Sir! Mind your own business, if you please.
DORI. It is an honour by no means to be rejected.
MRS. JOUR. I pray you also not to trouble yourself with that which is
no concern of yours.
DOR. It is the friendship we have for you which makes us interest
ourselves in your welfare.
MRS. JOUR. I can do very well without your friendship.
DOR. You see that your daughter yields to her father's will.
MRS. JOUR. My daughter consents to marry a Turk?
DOR. Certainly.
MRS. JOUR. She can forget Cleonte?
DOR. What will not one do to be a grand lady?
MRS. JOUR. I would strangle her with my own hands if she had done such
a thing.
MR. JOUR. Too much prating by half! I tell you the marriage shall take
place.
MRS. JOUR. And I tell you that it shan't.
MR. JOUR. Ah! what a row!
LUC. Mother!
MRS. JOUR. Leave me alone, you are a bad girl.
MR. JOUR. (_to_ MRS. JOURDAIN). What! you scold her because she
is obedient to me?
MRS. JOUR. Certainly; she belongs to me as much as she belongs to you.
COV. (_to_ MRS. JOURDAIN). Madam.
MRS. JOUR. What business have you to speak to me, you?
COV. One word.
MRS. JOUR. I'll have nothing to do with your word.
COV. (_to_ MR. JOURDAIN). Sir, if she will only listen to a word
in private, I promise you to make her consent to all you want.
MRS. JOUR. I will never consent to it.
COV. Only hear me.
MRS. JOUR. No.
MR. JOUR. (_to_ MRS. JOURDAIN). Hear him.
MRS. JOUR. No; I will not hear him.
MR. JOUR. He will tell you....
MRS. JOUR. I don't want him to tell me anything.
MR. JOUR. Did ever anybody see such obstinacy in a woman! Would it
hurt you to hear him?
COV. Only listen to me; you may do what you please afterwards.
MRS. JOUR. Well, what?
COV. (_aside, to_ MRS. JOURDAIN). We have made signs to you for
the last hour. Do you not see that all this is done to fit in with the
fancies of your husband? that we are imposing upon him under this
disguise, and that it is Cleonte himself who is the son of the Grand
Turk?
MRS. JOUR. (_aside, to_ COVIELLE). Oh! oh!
COV. (_aside, to_ MRS. JOURDAIN). And that it is I, Covielle, who
am the interpreter?
MRS. JOUR. (_aside, to _COVIELLE). Ah! if it is so, I give in.
COV. (_aside, to_ MRS. JOURDAIN). Seem not to have any idea of
what's going on.
MRS. JOUR. (_aloud_). Very well, let it be; I consent to the
marriage.
MR. JOUR. So, everyone is agreed. (_To_ MRS. JOURDAIN) You would
not listen to him. I knew he would explain to you what the son of the
Grand Turk is.
MRS. JOUR. He has explained it quite sufficiently, and I am satisfied
with it. Let us send for a notary.
DOR. The very thing! And Mrs. Jourdain, in order to set your mind at
rest, and that you should lose to-day all feelings of jealousy which
you may have felt about your husband, this lady and I will ask the
same notary to marry us.
MRS. JOUR. I consent to that also.
MR. JOUR. (_aside_, to DORANTE). It is to deceive her, is it not?
DOR. (_aside_, to MR. JOURDAIN). We must amuse her with this
notion.
MR. JOUR. Good, good. (_Aloud_) Let somebody go at once for the
notary.
DOR. Whilst he draws up the contract, let us see our ballet, and give
the entertainment to his Turkish highness.
MR. JOUR. It is well thought of. Let us go to our places.
MRS. JOUR. And Nicole?
MR. JOUR. I give her to the interpreter, and my wife to anyone who
will have her.
COV. Sir, I thank you. (_Aside_) If it is possible to find a
greater fool than this one, I will go and publish it in Rome.
BALLET AND DIVERTISSEMENT.