The Countess of Escarbagnas (La Comtesse D'Escarbagnas)
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Moliere (Poquelin) >> The Countess of Escarbagnas (La Comtesse D'Escarbagnas)
COUN. Call him in, Mr. Bobinet.
BOB. Be it according to your command, Madam. (_Exit_)
SCENE XVIII.--THE COUNTESS, JULIA, THE VISCOUNT, MR. THIBAUDIER.
THI. (_to the COUNTESS_). That Mr. Bobinet, Madam, looks very
wise, and I think that he is a man of _esprit_.
SCENE XIX.--THE COUNTESS, JULIA, THE VISCOUNT, THE COUNT, MR. BOBINET,
MR. THIBAUDIER.
BOB. Come, my Lord, show what progress you make under the good
precepts that are given you. Bow to the honourable company.
COUN. (_showing_ JULIA). Come, Count, salute this lady; bow low
to the viscount; salute the councillor.
THI. I am delighted, Madam, that you should grant me the favour of
embracing his lordship. One cannot love the trunk without loving the
branches.
COUN. Goodness gracious, Mr. Thibaudier, what a comparison to use!
JU. Really, Madam, his lordship the count has perfect manners.
VISC. This is a young gentleman who is thriving well.
JU. Who could have believed that your ladyship had so big a child.
COUN. Alas! when he was born, I was so young that I still played with
dolls.
JU. He is your brother and not your son.
COUN. Be very careful of his education, Mr. Bobinet.
BOB. I shall never, Madam, neglect anything towards the cultivation of
the young plant which your goodness has entrusted to my care, and I
will try to inculcate in him the seeds of all the virtues.
COUN. Mr. Bobinet, just make him recite some choice piece from what
you teach him.
BOB. Will your lordship repeat your lesson of yesterday morning?
COUNT.
_Omne viro soli quod convenit esto virile,
Omne viri_....
COUN. Fie! Mr. Bobinet; what silly stuff is that you teach him?
BOB. It is Latin, Madam, and the first rule of Jean Despautere.
COUN. Truly, that Jean Despautere is an impudent fellow, and I beg you
to teach my son more honest Latin than this is in future.
BOB. If you will allow him to say it all through, Madam, the gloss
will explain the meaning.
COUN. There is no need; it explains itself sufficiently.
SCENE XX.--THE COUNTESS, JULIA, THE VISCOUNT, MR THIBAUDIER, THE
COUNT, MR. BOBINET, CRIQUET.
CRI. The actors send me to tell you that they are ready.
COUN. Let us take our seats. (_Showing_ JULIA.) Mr. Thibaudier,
take this lady under your care.
CRIQUET _places all the chairs on one side of the stage. The_
COUNTESS, JULIA, _and the_ VISCOUNT _sit down, and_ MR. THIBAUDIER
_sits down at the_ COUNTESS'S _feet_.
VISC. It is important for you to observe that this comedy was made
only to unite the different pieces of music and dancing which compose
the entertainment, and that....
COUN. Ah! never mind, let us see it; we have enough good sense to
understand things.
VISC. Begin then at once, and see that no troublesome intruder comes
to disturb our pleasure.
(_The violins begin an overture._)
SCENE XXI.--THE COUNTESS, JULIA, THE VISCOUNT, THE COUNT, MR. HARPIN,
MR. THIBAUDIER, MR. BOBINET, CRIQUET.
HAR. By George! This is fine, and I rejoice to see what I see.
COUN. How! Mr. Receiver, what do you mean by this behaviour? Is it
right to come and interrupt a comedy in that fashion?
HAR. By Jove, Madam, I am delighted at this adventure, and it shows me
what I ought to think of you, and what I ought to believe of the
assurances you gave me of the gift of your heart, and likewise of all
your oaths of fidelity.
COUN. But, really, one should not come thus in the middle of a play
and disturb an actor who is speaking.
HAR. Hah! zounds, the real comedy here is the one you are playing, and
I care little if I disturb you.
COUN. Really, you do not know what you are saying.
HAR. Yes, d---- it, I know perfectly well; and....
MR. BOBINET, _frightened, takes up the_ COUNT, _and runs
away_; CRIQUET _follows him_.
COUN. Fie, Sir! How wrong it is to swear in that fashion!
HAR. Ah! 'sdeath! If there is anything bad here, it is not my
swearing, but your actions; and it would be much better for you to
swear by heaven and hell than to do what you do with the viscount.
VISC. I don't know, Sir, of what you have to complain; and if....
HAR. (_to the_ VISCOUNT). I have nothing to say to you, Sir; you
do right to push your fortune; that is quite natural; I see nothing
strange in it, and I beg your pardon for interrupting your play. But
neither can you find it strange that I complain of her proceedings;
and we both have a right to do what we are doing.
VISC. I have nothing to say to that, and I do not know what cause of
complaint you can have against her ladyship the Countess of
Escarbagnas.
COUN. When one suffers from jealousy, one does not give way to such
outbursts, but one comes peaceably to complain to the person beloved.
HAR. I complain peaceably!
COUN. Yes; one does not come and shout on the stage what should be
said in private.
HAR. I came purposely to complain on the stage. 'Sdeath! it is the
place that suits me best, and I should be glad if this were a real
theatre so that I might expose you more publicly.
COUN. Is there need for such an uproar because the viscount gives a
play in my honour? Just look at Mr. Thibaudier, who loves me; he acts
more respectfully than you do.
HAR. Mr. Thibaudier does as he pleases; I don't know how far Mr.
Thibaudier has got with you, but Mr. Thibaudier is no example for me.
I don't like to pay the piper for other people to dance.
COUN. But, Mr. Receiver, you don't consider what you are saying. Women
of rank are not treated thus, and those who hear you might believe
that something strange had taken place between us.
HAR. Confound it all, Madam; let us cast aside all this foolery.
COUN. What do you mean by foolery?
HAR. I mean that I do not think it strange that you should yield to
the viscount's merit; you are not the first woman in the world who
plays such a part, and who has a receiver of taxes of whom the love
and purse are betrayed for the first new comer who takes her fancy.
But do not think it extraordinary that I do not care to be the dupe of
an infidelity so common to coquettes of the period, and that I come
before good company to say that I break with you, and that I, the
receiver of taxes, will no more be taxed on your account.
COUN. It is really wonderful how angry lovers have become the fashion!
We see nothing else anywhere. Come, come, Mr. Receiver, cast aside
your anger, and come and take a seat to see the play.
HAR. I sit down? s'death! not I! (_Showing_ MR. THIBAUDIER.) Look
for a fool at your feet, my lady Countess; I give you up to my lord
the viscount, and it is to him that I will send the letters I have
received from you. My scene is ended, my part is played. Good night to
all!
THI. We shall meet somewhere else, and I will show you that I am a man
of the sword as well as of the pen.
HAR. Right, my good Mr. Thibaudier. (_Exit_.)
COUN. Such insolence confounds me!
VISC. The jealous, Madam, are like those who lose their cause; they
have leave to say anything. Let us listen to the play now.
SCENE XXII.--THE COUNTESS, THE VISCOUNT, JULIA, MR. THIBAUDIER,
JEANNOT.
JEAN. (_to the_ VISCOUNT). Sir, here is a note which I have been
asked to give to you immediately.
VISC. (_reads_). "As you may have some measures to take, I send
you notice at once that the quarrel between your family and that of
Julia's has just been settled, and that the condition of this
agreement is your marriage with Julia. Good night!" (_To_ JULIA)
Truly, Madam, our part is also played.
_The_ VISCOUNT, _the_ COUNTESS, _and_ MR. THIBAUDIER,
_all rise_.
JU. Ah! Cleante, what happiness is this! Our love could scarcely hope
for such a happy end.
COUN. What is it you mean?
VISC. It means, Madam, that I marry Julia; and if you will believe me,
in order to make the play complete at all points, you will marry Mr.
Thibaudier, and give Andree to his footman, whom he will make his
valet-de-chambre.
COUN. What! you deceive thus a person of my rank!
VISC. No offence to you, Madam, but plays require such things.
COUN. Yes, Mr. Thibaudier, I will marry you to vex everybody.
THI. You do me too much honour, Madam.
VISC. Allow us, Madam, in spite of our vexation, to see the end of the
play.