Charlotte Mary Yonge - "Cameos from English History, from Rollo to Edward II"

Henry Woodcock - "The Hero of the Humber"

Anonymous - "The Fox Jumps Over the Parson's Gate"

Sewell Ford - "Torchy and Vee"

Annual Bibliography of Commonwealth Literature 2007
This paper argues that discourses of love in Ghanaian market literature for youth offer a view into complex negotiations of agency and empowerment. Drawing on Deborah Durham's notion of youth as "social `shifters'" and Francis Nyamnjoh's conception of the "interconnectedness" of agency, I take Ghanaian market literature as one specific case of how African literature for youth foregrounds questions of continuity and change as African societies enter into increasingly complex global relations. In this literature for youth, received notions of love, often constructed out of impressions from American pop and hip hop music, carry new notions of agency that compete with existing "domesticated" forms. Authors like Ike Tandoh and Evelyn Tay employ discourses of love to offer youth alternative avenues for empowerment in a context of socio-economic disenfranchizement. In a creative process of "straddling", this writing both reveals and reproduces the contradictions that obtain in youth configurations of agency.

The Jest Book

M >> Mark Lemon >> The Jest Book





CCCXXX.--PLEASANT DESERTS.

A CERTAIN physician was so fond of administering medicine, that, seeing
all the phials and pill-boxes of his patient completely emptied, and
ranged in order on the table, he said, "Ah, sir, it gives me pleasure to
attend you,--you _deserve_ to be ill."


CCCXXXI.--A HOME ARGUMENT.

BY one decisive argument
Tom gained his lovely Kate's consent,
To fix the bridal day.
"Why in such haste, dear Tom, to wed?
I shall not change my mind," she said.
"But then," says he, "I _may_."


CCCXXXII.--A BAD PEN.

"NATURE has written 'honest man' on his face," said a friend to Jerrold,
speaking of a person in whom Jerrold's faith was not altogether blind.
"Humph!" Jerrold replied, "then the pen must have been a very bad one."


CCCXXXIII.--WIGNELL THE ACTOR.

ONE of old Mr. Sheridan's favorite characters was _Cato_: and on its
revival at Covent Garden Theatre, a Mr. Wignell assumed his
old-established part of _Portius_; and having stepped forward with a
prodigious though accustomed strut, began:--

"The dawn is overcast; the morning lowers,
And heavily, in clouds, brings on the day."

The audience upon this began to vociferate "Prologue! prologue!
prologue!" when Wignell, finding them resolute, without betraying any
emotion, pause, or change in his voice and manner, proceeded as if it
were part of the play:--

"Ladies and gentlemen, there has been no
Prologue spoken to this play these twenty years--
The great, the important day, big with the fate
Of Cato and of Rome."

This wonderful effusion put the audience in good humor: they laughed
immoderately, clapped, and shouted "_Bravo_!" and Wignell still
continued with his usual composure and stateliness.


CCCXXXIV.--CANDOR.

A NOTORIOUS egotist, indirectly praising himself for a number of good
qualities which it was well known he had not, asked Macklin the reason
why he should have this propensity of interfering in the good of others
when he frequently met with very unsuitable returns. "The cause is plain
enough," said Macklin; "_impudence_,--nothing but stark-staring
impudence!"


CCCXXXV.--A "COLD" COMPLIMENT.

A COXCOMB, teasing Dr. Parr with an account of his petty ailments,
complained that he could never go out without catching cold in his head.
"No wonder," returned the doctor; "you always go out without _anything_
in it."


CCCXXXVI.--READY REPLY.

THE grass-plots in the college courts or quadrangles are not for the
unhallowed feet of the under-graduates. Some, however, are hardy enough
to venture, in despite of all remonstrance. A master of Trinity had
often observed a student of his college invariably to cross the green,
when, in obedience to the calls of his appetite, he went to hall to
dine. One day the master determined to reprove the delinquent for
invading the rights of his superiors, and for that purpose he threw up
the sash at which he was sitting, and called to the student,--"Sir, I
never look out of my window but I see you walking across the
grass-plot". "My lord," replied the offender instantly, "I never walk
across the grass-plot, but I _see you_ looking out of your window." The
master, pleased at the readiness of the reply, closed his window,
convulsed with laughter.


CCCXXXVII.--FULL PROOF.

LORD PETERBOROUGH was once taken by the mob for the great Duke of
Marlborough (who was then in disgrace with them); and being about to be
roughly treated, said,--"Gentlemen, I can convince you by two reasons
that I am not the Duke of Marlborough. In the first place, I have only
_five guineas_ in my pocket; and in the second, they are heartily at
your service." He got out of their hands with loud huzzas and
acclamations.


CCCXXXVIII.--EPIGRAM ON CIBBER.

IN merry Old England it once was the rule,
The king had his poet and also his fool;
But now we're so frugal, I'd have you to know it,
That Cibber can serve both for _fool_ and for _poet_.


CCCXXXIX.--A PROPHECY.

CHARLES MATHEWS, the elder, being asked what he was going to do with his
son (the young man's profession was to be that of an architect), "Why,"
answered the comedian, "he is going to _draw houses_, like his father."


CCCXL.--A FIXTURE.

DR. ROGER LONG, the celebrated astronomer, was walking, one dark
evening, with a gentleman in Cambridge, when the latter came to a short
post fixed in the pavement, but which, in the earnestness of
conversation, taking to be a boy standing in the path, he said hastily,
"Get out of the way, boy."--"That boy," said the doctor, very seriously,
"is a _post-boy_, who never turns out of the way for anybody."


CCCXLI.--FAMILY PRIDE.

A YOUNG lady visiting in the family asked John at dinner for a potato.
John made no response. The request was repeated; when John, putting his
mouth to her ear, said, very audibly, "There's jist _twa_ in the dish,
and they maun be _keepit_ for the strangers."


CCCXLII.--EVIDENCE OF A JOCKEY.

THE following dialogue was lately heard at an assize:--Counsel: "What
was the height of the horse?" Witness: "Sixteen feet." Counsel: "How old
was he?" Witness: "Six years." Counsel: "How high did you say he was?"
Witness: "Sixteen hands." Counsel: "You said just now sixteen _feet_."
Witness: "Sixteen _feet_! Did I say sixteen _feet_?" Counsel: "You did."
Witness: "_If I did say sixteen feet, it was sixteen feet_!--you don't
catch me crossing myself!"


CCCXLIII.--WAY OF THE WORLD.

DETERMINED beforehand, we gravely pretend
To ask the opinion and thoughts of a friend;
Should his differ from ours on any pretence,
We pity his want both of judgment and sense;
But if he falls into and flatters our plan,
Why, really we think him a sensible man.


CCCXLIV.--A BROAD-SHEET HINT.

IN the parlor of a public-house in Fleet Street, there used to be
written over the chimney-piece the following notice: "Gentlemen learning
to _spell_ are requested to use _yesterday's paper_."


CCCXLV.--MODEST MERIT.

A PLAYER applied to the manager of a respectable company for an
engagement for himself and his wife, stating that his lady was capable
of playing all the first line of business; but as for himself he was
"the worst actor in the world." They were engaged, and the lady answered
the character which he had given of her. The gentleman having the part
of a mere walking gentleman sent him for his first appearance, he asked
the manager, indignantly, how could he put him in such a paltry part.
"Sir," answered the other, "here is your own letter, stating that you
were the _worst_ actor in the world."--"True," replied the other, "but
then I had not _seen you_."


CCCXLVI.--SOFT, VERY!

SOME one had written upon a pane in the window of an inn on the Chester
road, "Lord M----ms has the softest lips in the universe.--PHILLIS."
Mrs. Abingdon saw this inscription, and wrote under it,--

"Then as like as two chips
Are his head and his lips.--AMARILLIS."


CCCXLVII.--CAMBRIDGE ETIQUETTE.

CAMBRIDGE etiquette has been very happily caricatured by the following
anecdote. A gownsman, one day walking along the banks of the Cam,
observing a luckless son of his Alma Mater in the agonies of _drowning_,
"What a pity," he exclaimed, "that I have not had the honor of being
_introduced_ to the gentleman; I might have saved him;" and walked on,
leaving the poor fellow to his fate.


CCCXLVIII.--EPIGRAM.

(On interminable harangues.)

YE fates that hold the vital shears,
If ye be troubled with remorse,
And will not cut ----'s _thread of life_,
Cut then the _thread of his discourse_.


CCCXLIX.--HALF-WAY.

A HORSEMAN crossing a moor, asked a countryman, if it was safe riding.
"Ay," answered the countryman, "it is hard enough at the _bottom_, I'll
warrant you;" but in half-a-dozen steps the horse sunk up to the girths.
"You story-telling rascal, you said it was hard at the bottom!"--"Ay,"
replied the other, "but you are not _half-way_ to the bottom yet."


CCCL.--SELF-KNOWLEDGE.

"----," said one of his eulogists, "always knows his own mind." We will
cede the point, for it amounts to an admission that he _knows nothing_.


CCCLI.--TWO OF A TRADE.

WHEN Bannister was asked his opinion of a new singer that had appeared
at Covent Garden, "Why," said Charles, "he may be Robin Hood this
season, but he will be _robbing_ Harris (the manager) the next."


CCCLII.--A STRAY SHOT.

AN officer, in battle, happening to _bow_, a cannon-ball passed over his
head, and took off that of the soldier who stood behind him. "You see,"
said he, "that a man never loses by politeness."


CCCLIII.--MILESIAN ADVICE.

"NEVER be critical upon the ladies," was the maxim of an old Irish peer,
remarkable for his homage to the sex; "the only way in the world that a
true gentleman ever will attempt to look at the faults of a pretty
woman, is _to shut his eyes_."


CCCLIV.--MR. ABERNETHY.

A LADY who went to consult Mr. Abernethy, began describing her
complaint, which is what he very much disliked. Among other things she
said, "Whenever I lift my arm, it pains me exceedingly."--"Why then,
ma'am," answered Mr. A., "you area great fool for _doing so_."


CCCLV.--THE DEBT PAID.

To John I owed great obligation,
But John, unhappily, thought fit
To publish it to all the nation;
Sure John and I are more than quit.


CCCLVI.--EXTREMES MEET.

A CLEVER literary friend of Jerrold, and one who could take a joke, told
him he had just had "some calf's-tail soup."--"Extremes meet sometimes,"
said Jerrold.


CCCLVII.--A COMPLIMENT ILL-RECEIVED.

A PERSON who dined in company with Dr. Johnson endeavored to make his
court to him by laughing immoderately at everything he said. The doctor
bore it for some time with philosophical indifference; but the
impertinent _ha, ha, ha!_ becoming intolerable, "Pray, sir," said the
doctor, "what is the matter? I hope I have not said anything that _you_
can comprehend."


CCCLVIII.--TRUTH NOT TO BE SPOKEN AT ALL TIMES.

GARRICK was on a visit at Hagley, when news came that a company of
players were going to perform at Birmingham. Lord Lyttelton said to
Garrick, "They will hear you are in the neighborhood, and will ask you
to write an address to the Birmingham audience."--"Suppose, then," said
Garrick, without the least hesitation, "I begin thus:--

Ye sons of iron, copper, brass, and steel,
Who have not heads to think, nor hearts to feel--"

"Oh!" cried his lordship, "if you begin thus, they will hiss the players
off the stage and pull the house down."--"My lord," said Garrick, "what
is the use of an address if it does not come home to the _business_ and
_bosoms_ of the audience?"


CCCLIX.--A GOOD REASON.

A GENTLEMAN, talking with his gardener, expressed his admiration at the
rapid growth of the trees. "Why, yes, sir," says the man; "please to
consider that they have _nothing_ else to do."


CCCLX.--FOLLOWING A LEADER.

FRANKLIN, when ambassador to France, being at a meeting of a literary
society, and not well understanding the French when declaimed,
determined to applaud when he saw a lady of his acquaintance express
satisfaction. When they had ceased, a little child, who understood the
French, said to him, "But, grandpapa, you always applauded the loudest
when they were _praising you_!" Franklin laughed heartily and explained
the matter.


CCCLXI.--IDOLATRY.

THE toilette of a woman is an altar erected by self-love to vanity.


CCCLXII.--TWICE RUINED.

"I NEVER was ruined but twice," said a wit; "once when I _lost_ a
lawsuit, and once when I _gained_ one."


CCCLXIII.--Q.E.D.

A COUNTRY schoolmaster was met by a certain nobleman, who asked his name
and vocation. Having declared his name, he added, "And I am master of
this parish."--"Master of this parish," observed the peer, "how can that
be?"--"I am master of the children of the parish," said the man; "the
children are masters of their mothers, the mothers are rulers of the
fathers, and consequently _I am master_ of the whole parish."


CCCLXIV.--SHORT STORIES.

SIR WALTER SCOTT once stated that he kept a lowland laird waiting for
him in the library at Abbotsford, and that when he came in he found the
laird deep in a book which Sir Walter perceived to be Johnson's
Dictionary. "Well, Mr. ----," said Sir Walter, "how do you like your
book?"--"They're vera pretty stories, Sir Walter," replied the laird;
"but they're unco' _short_."


CCCLXV.--ON A LADY WHO SQUINTED.

IF ancient poets Argus prize,
Who boasted of a hundred eyes,
Sure greater praise to her is due,
Who looks a hundred ways with two.


CCCLXVI.--AN ORIGINAL ATTRACTION.

FOOTE one evening announced, for representation at the Haymarket
Theatre, "The Fair Penitent," to be performed, for that night only, by a
_black lady of great accomplishments_.


CCCLXVII.--DEMOCRATIC VISION.

HORNE TOOKE, being asked by George III. whether he played at cards,
replied, "I cannot, your Majesty, tell a _king_ from a _knave_."


CCCLXVIII.--FISHY, RATHER.

LORD ELLENBOROUGH, on his return from Hone's trial, suddenly stopped his
carriage at Charing Cross, and said, "It occurs to me that they sell the
best herrings in London at that shop. Buy six."


CCCLXIX.--LIGHT BREAD.

A BAKER has invented a new kind of yeast. It makes bread so light that a
_pound_ of it weighs only _twelve_ ounces.


CCCLXX.--SOMETHING LIKE AN INSULT.

THE late Judge C---- one day had occasion to examine a witness who
stuttered very much in delivering his testimony. "I believe," said his
lordship, "you are a very great rogue."--"Not so great a rogue as _you_
my lord,--t-t-t-take me to be."


CCCLXXI.--ON CHARLES KEAN, THE ACTOR.

AS Romeo, Kean, with awkward grace,
On velvet rests, 'tis said;
Ah! did he seek a softer place,
He'd rest upon his head.


CCCLXXII.--POLITICAL CORRUPTION.

CURRAN, when opposed to Lord Clare, said that he reminded him of a
chimney-sweep, who had raised himself by dark and dusky ways, and then
called aloud to his neighbors to witness his _dirty_ elevation.


CCCLXXIII.--A QUAKERLY OBJECTION.

A QUAKER being asked his opinion of phrenology, replied indignantly,
"Friend, there can be no good in a science that compels a man to _take
off_ his hat!"


CCCLXXIV.--A GOOD-HEARTED FELLOW.

IN a valedictory address an editor wrote: "If we have offended any man
in the short but brilliant course of our public career, let him send us
a _new hat_, and we will then forget the past." A cool chap that!


CCCLXXV.--EPIGRAM ON THE DEATH OF FOOTE.

FOOTE, from his earthly stage, alas! is hurled,
Death _took him off, who took off all_ the world.


CCCLXXVI.--THE ANGRY OCEAN.

"MOTHER, this book tells about the angry waves of the ocean. Now, what
makes the ocean get angry?"--"Because it has been _crossed_ so often, my
son."


CCCLXXVII.--BREVITY.

DR. ABERNETHY, the celebrated physician, was never more displeased than
by hearing a patient detail a long account of troubles. A woman, knowing
Abernethy's love of the laconic, having burned her hand, called at his
house. Showing him her hand, she said, "A burn."--"A poultice," quietly
answered the learned doctor. The next day she returned, and said,
"Better."--"Continue the poultice," replied Dr. A. In a week she made
her last call and her speech was lengthened to three words, "Well,--your
fee?"--"Nothing," said the physician; "you are the most sensible woman I
ever saw."


CCCLXXVIII.--EPIGRAM.

IF L--d--d--y has a grain of sense,
He can be only half a lord 'tis clear;
For from the fact we draw the inference,
He's that which never has been made _a peer_.


CCCLXXIX.--A BROAD-BRIM HINT.

A QUAKER said to a gunner, "Friend, I counsel no bloodshed; but if it be
thy design _to hit_ the little man in the blue jacket, point thine
engine three inches lower."


CCCLXXX.--AN ORDER FOR TWO.

AT the last rehearsal of "Joanna," Mr. Wild, the prompter, asked the
author for an order to admit two friends to the boxes; and whether Mr.
Cumberland was thinking of the probable proceeds of his play, or whether
his anxiety otherwise bewildered him, cannot be ascertained; but he
wrote, instead of the usual "two to the boxes"--"admit _two pounds
two_."


CCCLXXXI.--EPIGRAM FROM THE ITALIAN.

HIS hair so black,--his beard so gray,
'Tis strange! But would you know the cause?
'Tis that his labors always lay,
Less on his brain than on his _jaws_.


CCCLXXXII.--MARRIAGE.

A WIDOWER, having taken another wife, was, nevertheless, always paying
some panegyric to the memory of his late spouse, in the presence of his
present one; who one day added, with great feeling, "Believe me, my
dear, nobody regrets _her loss_ more than I do."


CCCLXXXIII.--FISHING FOR A COMPLIMENT.

A YOUNG man having preached for the doctor one day, was anxious to get a
word of applause for his labor of love. The grave doctor, however, did
not introduce the subject, and his younger brother was obliged to bait
the hook for him. "I hope, sir, I did not weary your people by the
_length_ of my sermon to-day?"--"No, sir, not at all; nor by the _depth_
either!" The young man was silent.


CCCLXXXIV.--VISIBLE PROOF.

AN Irishman being asked on a late trial for a certificate of his
marriage, exhibited a _huge scar_ on his head, which looked as though it
might have been made with a fire-shovel. The evidence was satisfactory.


CCCLXXXV.--SIMPLICITY OF THE LEARNED PORSON.

THE great scholar had a horror of the east wind; and Tom Sheridan once
kept him prisoner in the house for a fortnight by _fixing_ the
weathercock in that direction.


CCCLXXXVI.--EPIGRAM ADDRESSED TO MISS EDGEWORTH.

WE every-day bards may "Anonymous" sign:
That refuge, Miss Edgeworth, can never be thine:
Thy writings, where satire and moral unite,
Must bring forth the name of their author to light.
Good and bad join in telling the source of their birth,
The bad own their _Edge_ and the good own their _worth_.


CCCLXXXVII.--KEEN REPLY.

A RETIRED vocalist, who had acquired a large fortune by marriage, was
asked to sing in company. "Allow me," said he, "to imitate the
nightingale, which does not sing after it has _made its nest_."


CCCLXXXVIII.--A GOOD EXAMPLE.

IN the House of Commons, the grand characteristic of the office of the
Speaker is silence; and he fills the place best who best holds his
tongue. There are other _speakers_ in the House (not official) who would
show their sagacity by following the example of their President.


CCCLXXXIX.--A CERTAINTY.

A PHYSICIAN passing by a stone-mason's shop bawled out, "Good morning,
Mr. D.! Hard at work, I see. You finish your gravestones as far as 'In
the memory of,' and then wait, I suppose, to see who wants a monument
next?"--"Why, yes," replied the old man, "unless somebody's sick, and
_you_ are doctoring him; then I _keep right on_."


CCCXC.--NOMINAL RHYMES.

THE COURT OF ALDERMEN AT FISHMONGERS' HALL.

IS that dace or perch?
Said Alderman Birch;
I take it for herring,
Said Alderman Perring.
This jack's very good,
Said Alderman Wood;
But its bones might a man slay,
Said Alderman Ansley.
I'll butter what I get,
Said Alderman Heygate.
Give me some stewed carp,
Said Alderman Thorp;
The roe's dry as pith,
Said Alder_men_ Smith.
Don't cut so far down,
Said Alderman Brown;
But nearer the fin,
Said Alderman Glyn.
I've finished, i'faith, man,
Said Alderman Waithman:
And I too, i'fatkins,
Said Alderman Atkins.
They've crimped this cod drolly,
Said Alderman Scholey;
'T is bruised at the ridges,
Said Alderman Brydges.
Was it caught in a drag? Nay,
Said Alderman Magnay.
'T was brought by two men,
Said Alderman Ven-
ables: Yes, in a box,
Said Alderman Cox.
They care not how _fur 'tis_,
Said Alderman Curtis;
From air kept, and from sun,
Said Alderman Thompson;
Packed neatly in straw,
Said Alderman Shaw:
In ice got from Gunter,
Said Alderman Hunter.
This ketchup is sour,
Said Alderman Flower;
Then steep it in claret,
Said Alderman Garret.


CCCXCI.--A BROAD HINT.

CHARLES II. playing at tennis with a dean, who struck the ball well, the
king said, "That's a good stroke for a _dean_."--"I'll give it the
stroke of a _bishop_ if your Majesty pleases," was the suggestive
rejoinder.


CCCXCII.--VAILS TO SERVANTS.

TO such a height had arrived the custom of giving vails, or
visiting-fees, to servants, in 1762, that Jonas Hanway published upon
the subject eight letters to the Duke of N----, supposed to be the Duke
of Newcastle. Sir Thomas Waldo related to Hanway, that, on leaving the
house of the Duke alluded to, after having feed a train of other
servants, he (Sir Thomas) put a crown into the hand of the cook, who
returned it, saying, "Sir, I do not take _silver_."--"Don't you,
indeed!" said the baronet, putting it into his pocket; "then _I do_."


CCCXCIII.--QUITE TRUE.

AVARICE is criminal poverty.


CCCXCIV.--CONGRATULATION TO ONE WHO CURLED HIS HAIR.

"I'm very glad," to E--b--h said
His brother exquisite, Macassar Draper,
"That 'tis the outer product of your head,
And not the _inner_, you _commit to paper_!"


CCCXCV.--THE POLITE SCHOLAR.

A SCHOLAR and a courtier meeting in the street, seemed to contest the
wall. Says the courtier, "I do not use to give every _coxcomb_ the
wall." The scholar answered, "But _I do, sir_;" and so passed by him.


CCCXCVI.--A COOL HAND.

AN old deaf beggar, whom Collins the painter was once engaged in
sketching at Hendon, exhibited great self-possession. Finding, from
certain indications, that the body and garments of this English Edie
Ochiltree afforded a sort of pasture-ground to a herd of many animals
of minute size, he hinted his fears to the old man that he might leave
some of his small body-guard, behind him. "No fear, sir; no fear,"
replied this deaf and venerable vagrant, contemplating the artist with
serious serenity; "I don't think they are any of them likely to leave
_me_ for _you_."


CCCXCVII.--QUID PRO QUO.

A PHYSICIAN of an acrimonious disposition, and having a thorough hatred
of lawyers, reproached a barrister with the use of phrases utterly
unintelligible. "For example," said he, "I never could understand what
you lawyers mean by docking an entail."--"That is very likely," answered
the lawyer, "but I will explain it to you: it is doing what you doctors
never consent to,--_suffering a recovery_."


CCCXCVIII.--RECRUITING SERJEANT AND COUNTRYMAN.

A RECRUITING serjeant addressing an honest country bumpkin with,--"Come,
my lad, thou'lt fight for thy King, won't thou?"--"Voight for my King,"
answered Hodge, "why, has he _fawn out_ wi' ony body?"


CCCXCIX.--AN ANECDOTE.

E--D--N was asked by one of note,
Why merit he did not promote;
"For this good reason," answered he,
"'Cause _merit ne'er promoted me_."


CD.--DIDO.

OF this tragedy, the production of Joseph Reed, author of the "Register
Office," Mr. Nicholls, in his "Literary Anecdotes," gives some curious
particulars. He also relates an anecdote of Johnson concerning it: "It
happened that I was in Bolt Court on the day that Henderson, the justly
celebrated actor, was first introduced to Dr. Johnson: and the
conversation turning on dramatic subjects, Henderson asked the Doctor's
opinion of "Dido" and its author. "Sir," said Johnson, "I never did the
man an injury, yet _he would read his tragedy to me_."


CDI.--EXTREME SIMPLICITY.

A COUNTRYMAN took his seat at a tavern-table opposite to a gentleman who
was indulging in a bottle of wine. Supposing the wine to be common
property, our unsophisticated country friend helped himself to it with
the gentleman's glass. "That's cool!" exclaimed the owner of the wine,
indignantly. "Yes," replied the other; "I should think there was _ice_
in it."


CDII.--NOT TO BE TRIFLED WITH.

DURING a recent representation of King Lear at one of our metropolitan
theatres, an old gentleman from the country, who was visibly affected by
the pathos of some of the scenes, electrified the house by roaring out,
"Mr. Manager! Sir! Alter the play! I didn't pay my money to be made
_wretched_ in this way. Give us something funny, or I'll _summons_ you,
sir!"


CDIII.--AS YOU LIKE IT.

AN old sea captain used to say he didn't care how he dressed when
abroad, "because _nobody_ knew him." And he didn't care how he dressed
when at home, "because _everybody_ knew him."

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