The Jest Book

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MDCXCI.--GOOD ENOUGH FOR A PIG.

AN IRISH peasant being asked why he permitted his pig to take up its
quarters with his family, made an answer abounding with satirical
_naivete_: "Why not? Doesn't the place afford every convenience that _a
pig can require_?"

MDCXCII.--FARCICAL.

IN Bannister's time, a farce was performed under the title of "Fire and
Water."--"I predict its fate," said he. "What fate?" whispered the
anxious author at his side. "What fate!" said Bannister; "why, what can
fire and water produce but a _hiss_?"

MDCXCIII.--TOO MUCH AT ONCE.

LORD CHESTERFIELD one day, at an inn where he dined, complained very
much that the plates and dishes were very dirty. The waiter, with a
degree of pertness, observed, "It is said every one must _eat a peck of
dirt_ before he dies."--"That may be true," said Chesterfield, "but no
one is obliged to eat it all _at one meal_, you dirty dog."

MDCXCIV.--EPIGRAM.

(On Bishop ----'s Religion.)

THOUGH not a Catholic, his lordship has,
'Tis plain, strong disposition to a-mass (a mass).

MDCXCV.--POSSIBLE CENSORS.

DR. CADOGAN was boasting of the eminence of his profession, and spoke
loudly against the injustice of the world, which was so satirical
against it; "but," he added, "I have escaped, for no one complains of
me."--"That is more than you can tell, doctor," said a lady who was
present, "unless you know what people _say in the other world_."

MDCXCVI.--A CONNUBIAL COMPLIMENT.

A LADY, walking with her husband at the seaside, inquired of him the
difference between _exportation_ and _transportation_. "Why, my dear,"
he replied, "if you were on board yonder vessel, leaving England, _you_
would be _exported_, and _I_ should be _transported_!"

MDCXCVII.--DOUBLE SIGHT.

A MAN with one eye laid a wager with another man, that he (the one-eyed
person) saw more than the other. The wager was accepted. "You have
lost," says the first; "I can see the _two_ eyes in your face, and you
can see only _one_ in mine."

MDCXCVIII.--WITTY AT HIS OWN EXPENSE.

SHERIDAN was once asked by a gentleman: "How is it that your name has
not an O prefixed to it? Your family is Irish, and no doubt
illustrious."--"No family," replied Sheridan, "has a better right to an
O than our family; for, in truth, we _owe_ everybody."

MDCXCIX.--A CONVERSATIONAL EPIGRAM.

SAID Bluster to Whimple, "You juvenile fool,
Get out of my way, do you hear?"
Said Whimple, "A fool did you say? by that rule
I'm much _in your way_ as I fear."

MDCC.--A PREVIOUS ENGAGEMENT.

THE late Lord Dudley and Ward was one of the most absent of men. Meeting
Sydney Smith one day in the street, he invited him to meet himself!
"Dine with me to-day,--dine with me to-day,--I will get Sydney Smith to
meet you." The witty canon admitted the temptation held out to him, but
said, "_he was engaged with him elsewhere_."

MDCCI.--A ROYAL JEST.

A CAPTAIN, remarkable for his uncommon height, being one day at the
rooms at Bath, the late Princess Amelia was struck with his appearance;
and being told that he had been originally intended for the Church,
"Rather for the _steeple_," replied the royal humorist.

MDCCII.--EXTREMELY SULPHUROUS.

LORD CHESTERFIELD, being told that a certain termagant and scold was
married to a gamester, replied, "that _cards and brimstone_ made the
best matches."

MDCCIII.--A JOKE FROM THE NORTH.

THE reigning _bore_ at one time in Edinburgh was Professor L----; his
favorite subject the _North Pole_. One day the arch tormentor met
Jeffrey in a narrow lane, and began instantly on the North Pole.
Jeffrey, in despair, and out of all patience, darted past him,
exclaiming, "Hang the North Pole!" Sydney Smith met Mr. L---- shortly
after, boiling over with indignation at Jeffrey's contempt of the North
Pole. "O, my dear fellow," said Sydney, "never mind; no one minds what
Jeffrey says, you know; he is a privileged person,--he respects nothing,
absolutely nothing. Why, you will scarcely credit it, but it is not more
than a week ago that I heard him speak disrespectfully of the
_Equator_."

MDCCIV.--MULTIPLYING ONE.

SYDNEY SMITH once said: "I remember entering a room with glass all round
it at the French embassy, and saw myself reflected on every side. I
took it for a _meeting of the clergy_, and was delighted of course."

MDCCV.--AN AFFIRMATIVE EPIGRAM.

WHEN Julia was asked, if to church she would go,
The fair one replied to me, "No, Richard, no."
At her meaning I ventured a pretty good guess,
For from grammar I learned _No_ and _No_ stood for _Yes_.

MDCCVI.--THE RULING PASSION.

A LADY'S beauty is dear to her at all times. A very lovely woman, worn
out with a long and painful sickness, begged her attendants to desist
rubbing her temples with Hungary water, _as it would make her hair
gray_!

MDCCVII.--INDIFFERENCE TO DEATH.

A PRISONER, who had received notice that he was to die the next morning,
was asked by some of his unfortunate companions to share their repast
with them. He answered, "I never eat anything that I expect will _not
digest_."

MDCCVIII.--SELF-INTEREST.

THOSE who wish to tax anything containing _intelligence_, must be
actuated by selfish views, seeing that it is an imposition of which they
are not likely to feel _the burden_.

MDCCIX.--ALL THE DIFFERENCE.

A GLASGOW professor met a poor student passing along one of the courts,
and remarked to him that his gown was very short. "_It will be long
enough before I get another_," answered the student. The reply tickled
the professor's fancy so much that he continued in a state of suppressed
laughter after passing on. Meeting a brother professor, who asked him
what was amusing him so much, he told the story with a slightly varied
reading. "I asked that fellow why he had so short a gown, and he
answered, _it will be a long time before I get another_."--"Well,
there's nothing very funny in that."--"Neither there is," said the
professor, "I don't understand how it amused me so much. It must have
been something in _the way he said it_."

MDCCX.--FOOTE'S LAST JOKE.

WHEN Foote was on his way to France, for change of air, he went into the
kitchen at the inn at Dover, to order a particular dish for dinner. The
true English cook boasted that she had never set foot out of her
country. On this, the invalid gravely observed, "Why, cookey, that's
very extraordinary, as they tell me up stairs that you have been several
times _all over grease_!"--"They may tell you what they please above or
below stairs," replied the cook, "but I was never ten miles from Dover
in my life!"--"Nay, now, that must be a _fib_," says Foote, "for I have
myself seen you at _Spithead_!" The next day (October 21, 1777) the
exhausted wit "shuffled off this mortal coil."

MDCCXI.--_L'Envoy_.

THERE is so much genuine humor in the following jocular DINNER CODE,
that we cannot do better than close our little volume with it.

DINNER CODE.

_Of the Amphitryon.--His Rights._

Art. 1.--The Amphitryon is the king of the table: his empire lasts as
long as the meal, and ends with it.

Art. 2.--It is lawful for his glass to exceed in capacity those of his
guests.

Art. 3.--He may be lively with his male guests, and gallant towards the
females; to such of them as are pretty he may risk a compliment or two,
which is sure to be received from him with an approving smile.

_His Duties._

Art. 1.--Fulfilling to the utmost the laws of hospitality, he watches
with paternal solicitude over the welfare of the stomachs committed to
his care; reassures the timid, encourages the modest, and incites the
vigorous appetite.

Art. 2.--He must abstain from praising either his dishes or his wines.

Art. 3.--He is not to take advantage of his situation to utter stale
jests or vulgar puns. A careful perusal of "The Jest Book" will be his
best security against a violation of this _article_.

Art. 4.--The police of the table belongs of right to him; he should
never permit a plate or a glass to be either full or empty.

Art. 5.--On rising from table, he should cast a scrutinizing glance over
the glasses. If he sees them not quite emptied, let him take warning by
it to choose either his guests or his wine better for the future.

_Of the Guests._

Art. 1.--The first duty of a guest is to arrive at the time named, at
whatever inconvenience to himself.

Art. 2.--When the Amphitryon offers any dish to a guest, his only civil
way of declining it is by requesting to be helped a second time to that
of which he has just partaken.

Art. 3.--A guest who is a man of the world will never begin a
conversation until the first course is over; up to that point, dinner is
a serious affair, from which the attention of the party ought not to be
inconsiderately distracted.

Art. 4.--Whatever conversation is going on ought to be suspended, even
in the middle of a sentence, upon the entrance of a _dinde aux truffes_.

Art. 5.--An applauding laugh is indispensable to every joke of the
Amphitryon.

Art. 6.--A guest is culpable who speaks ill of his entertainer during
the first three hours after dinner. Gratitude should last at least as
long as digestion.

Art. 7.--To leave anything on your plate is to insult your host in the
person of his cook.

Art. 8.--A guest who leaves the table deserves the fate of a soldier who
deserts.

_On Vicinity to Ladies._

Art. 1.--He who sits next to a lady becomes at once her _cavaliere
servente_. He is bound to watch over her glass with as much interest as
over his own.

Art. 2.--The gentleman owes aid and protection to his fair neighbor in
the selection of food; the lady on her part is bound to respect and obey
the recommendations of her knight on this subject.

Art. 3.--It is bad taste for the gentleman to advance beyond politeness
during the first course; in the second, however, he is bound to be
complimentary; and he is at liberty to glide into tenderness with the
dessert.

_On Vicinity to Men._

Art. 1.--When two gentlemen sit together, they owe no duties to each
other beyond politeness and reciprocal offers of wine and water,--the
_last_ offer becomes an error after one refusal.

Art. 2.--On being helped to a dish, you should at once accept any
precedence offered you by your neighbor; ceremony serves only to cool
the plate in question for both parties.

Art. 3.--If you sit near the Amphitryon, your criticisms on the repast
must be conveyed in a whisper; aloud you can do nothing but approve.

Art. 4.--Under no pretext can two neighbors at table be permitted to
converse together on their private affairs, unless, indeed, one of them
is inviting the other to dinner.

Art. 5.--Two neighbors who understand each other may always get more
wine than the rest of the guests; they have only to say by turns to each
other, with an air of courtesy, "Shall we take some wine?"

_On Vicinity to Children._

Single Article.--The only course to be pursued, if you have the
misfortune to be placed next a child at table, is to make him tipsy as
quick as you can, that he may be sent out of the room by Mamma.

_On the Means of reconciling Politeness with Egotism._

Art. 1.--The epicure's serious attention should be fixed upon the
articles on the table; he may lavish his politeness, his wit, and his
gayety upon the people who sit round it.

Art. 2.--By helping the dish next yourself (should you not dine _a la
Russe_) you acquire a right to be helped to any other dish on the table.

Art. 3.--A carver must be very unskilful who cannot, by a little
sleight-of-hand, smuggle aside the best morsel of a dish, and thus, when
serving himself _last_, serve himself also the _best_.

Art. 4.--Your host's offers are sometimes insincere when they refer to
some magnificent dish yet uncut. In such cases you should refuse feebly
for yourself, but accept on behalf of the lady next you,--merely out of
politeness to her.

Art. 5.--The thigh of all birds, boiled, is preferable to the wing:
never lose sight of this in helping ignoramuses or ladies.

INDEX.

PAGE

A. I, 33

Abbey Church at Bath, The, 244

A Bed of--Where?, 238

Abernethy, Mr., 77

Above Proof, 297

Absent Man, An, 116

Absurdly Logical, 319

Acceptable Deprivation, An, 201

Accommodating, 213

Accommodating Physician, An, 180

Accommodating Principles, 153

Accurate Description, 201

Acres and Wiseacres, 355

Act of Justice, An, 147

Actor, 222

Advantageous Tithe, An, 255

Advertisement, Extraordinary, 88

Advice Gratis, 160

Advice to a Dramatist, 199

Advice to the Young, 138

Affectation, 98

Affectionate Hint, An, 344

Aged Young Lady, The, 235

Agreeable and not Complimentary, 71

Agreeable Practice, An, 248

Agricultural Experiences, 184

Alere Flamman, 252

A-Liquid, 140

Allegorical Representation, 310

All the Difference, 5, 367

All the Same, 314

Almanac-makers, 159

Alone in his Glory, 14

Always the Better, 336

Amende Honorable, The, 310

American Penance, 217

Ample Apology, An, 356

Anecdote, An, 86

Anglo-French Alliance, The, 50

Angry Ocean, The, 81

Answered at Once, 288

Answering her According to her Folly, 345

Anticipated Calamity, An, 349

Anticipation, 110

Any Change for the Better, 220

Any Port in a Storm, 57

Apish Resemblance, An, 322

Apt Reproof, An, 307

Arcadia, 24

Arcadian, An, 128

Architectural Pun, An, 61

Argument, An, 125

Artificial Heat, 28

Artistic Touch, An, 171

As Black as he could be painted, 337

Aspiring Poverty, 345

Assurance and Insurance, 228

As You Like It, 87

At his Fingers' Ends, 106

Attending to a Wish, 169

Attic Jest, An 69

Attired to Tire, 343

Audley, The Late Lord, 130

Auricular Confession, 227

Awkward Orthography, 298

"Aye! There's the Rub", 93

BACK-HANDED HIT, A, 209

Bacon, 138

Bad Bargain, A, 131

Bad Company, 166

Bad Crop, A, 18, 58

Bad Customer, A, 96

Bad End, A, 153

Bad Example, A, 1

Bad Habit, 136

Bad Harvest, A, 23

Bad Judge, A, 287

Bad Label, A, 92

Bad Lot, A, 182

Bad Medium, A, 217

Bad Pen, A, 72

Bad Preacher, A, 226

Bad Shot, A, 12

Bad Sport, 146

Balance, A, 233

Balancing Accounts, 66

Banker's Check, A, 17

Barber Shaved by a Lawyer, 305

Bark and Bite, 231

Barry's Powers of Pleasing, 34

Base Joke, A, 347

Base One, A, 97

Bearable Pun, A, 358

Bear and Van, 16

Bearding a Barber, 2

Benefit of Competition, 212

Best Judge, The, 110

Best Wine, The, 193

Better Known than Trusted, 193

Betting, 155

Bewick, the Engraver, 194

Bill Paid in Full, 228

Billy Brown and the Counsellor, 50

Birth of a Prince, The, 178

Bishop and Churchwarden, A, 71

Bishop and his Portmanteau, The, 55

Bit of Moonshine, A, 335

Black and White, 19

Black Joke, A, 159

Black Letter, 101

Black Oils, 18

Blowing a Nose, 55

Book Case, A, 70

Boswell's "Life of Johnson", 154

Braham and Kenney, 237

Bred on the Boards, 162

Brevity, 81

Brevity of Charity, 215

Brief Correspondence, 179

"Brief Let It Be", 210

Bright and Sharp, 63

Bright Rejoinder, A, 346

Bringing his Man Down, 245

Broad-brim Hint, A, 81

Broad Hint, A, 85, 165

Broad-Sheet Hint, A, 75

Broken Head, A, 98

Brotherly Love, 46, 300

Brutal Affections, 67

Budget of Blunders, A, 141

Buried Worth, 56

Burke and Fox, 258

Burke's Tediousness, 270

Business and Pleasure, 326

Busy Bodies, 124

But one Good Translation, 358

Byron Libellous, 342

CABAL, A, 31

Calculation, 105

Calculation, A, 265

Caledonian Comfort, 99

Calf's Head Surprised, 25

Caliban's Looking-glass, 51

Calumny, 220

Cambridge Etiquette, 76

Candid Counsel, A, 156

Candid on both Sides, 222

Candle and Lantern, The, 125

Candor, 73

Canine Poetry, 169

Canning's Parasites, 71

Capital Joke, A, 56

Capital Letter, A, 14

Cap This, 26

Carrots Classically Considered, 222

Cart before the Horse, The, 60

Case of Necessity, A, 189

Cash Payments, 149

Catching him Up, 70

Cause and Effect, 226, 344

Cause of Absence, 40

Cause, The, 158

Cautious Lover, A, 108

Celestial Vision, A, 351

Certain Crop, A, 208

Certainly not Asleep, 109

Certainty, A, 83

Challenging a Jury, 107

Change for a Guinea, 337

Change for the Better, A, 197

Changing Hats, 280

Changing his Coat, 3

Changing his Line, 39

Characteristics, 237

Charitable Wit, 195

Charity and Inconvenience, 326

Charity begins at Home, 312

Charles, Duke of Norfolk, 271

Charles II. and Milton, 192

Chartist not a Leveller, A, 334

Chatham, Lord, 263

Cheap at the Money, 209

Cheap Cure, A, 17

Cheap Watch, A, 168

Check to the King, 22

Cheese and Dessert, 21

Chemical Oddity, 322

Chesterfield, Lord, 37

Chin-Surveying, 280

Choice of Evils, A, 334

Choice Spirits, 180

Church in the Way, The, 246

City Glutton, 358

City Love, 36

City Varnish, A, 61

Claim on the Country, A, 249

Classical Wit, 333

Claw and Claw, 54

Clear Case, A, 122

Clear the Court, 118

Clearing Emigrants, 272

Clerical Wit, 95

Clever Dog, A, 47

Climax, A, 19, 341

Clonmel, Lord, 172

Close Escape, A, 187

Close Translation, A, 317

Closer, A, 313

Coat-of-Arms, A, 211

Cockney Epigram, A, 36

Cold Comfort, 132

"Cold" Compliment, A, 73

Coleridge and Thelwall, 275

College Bell! The, 109

Collins, The late Mr., 24

Colonial Breweries, 313

Colorable Excuse, A, 179

Colorable Resemblance, A, 145

Come of Age, 9

Comedian and a Lawyer, A, 190

Common Case, A, 64

Common Politeness, 195

Common Want, A, 219

Comparative Virtue, 357

Comparison, A, 152, 234, 273

Comparisons are Odious, 2

Complimentary, 4, 362

Compliment, Elegant, 32

Compliment Ill-received, A, 78

Computation, 22

Conceited, but not Seated, 201

Con-cider-ate, 139

Concurrent Events, 134

Conditional Agreement, 315

Confidence, 103, 120

Confidence--taken from the French, 193

Confirmed Invalid, A, 1

Congratulation to One who Curled His Hair, 85

Conjugal Caution, 8

Conjugal Conclusion, A, 282

Connoisseur, The, 7

Connubial Compliment, A, 365

Conservative Logic, 300

Considerable Latitude, 44

Considerate Mayor, A, 292

Considerate Son, A, 89

Consistency, 179

Constancy, 245

Constitutional Pun, A, 4

Contraband Scotchman, 67

Convenient Theory, A, 358

Convert, A, 4

Cooke's Explanation of the Family Plate, 158

Cooking his Goose, 315

Cool as a Cucumber, 356

Cool Hand, A, 85

Cool Proposition, A, 299

Cool Retort, 208

Corporation Politeness, 219

Corruptly Incorruptible, 172

Couleur de Rose, 58

Coulson, Sir Thomas, 232

Credit, 269

Critical Politeness, 30

Criticising a Statue, 152

Critics, 60

Cromwell, 228

Cruel Case, A, 229

Cruel Suggestion, 68

Cup and Saucer, 200

Cut and Come Again, 51

Cut Direct, The, 124

Cut Infernal, The, 103

Cutting, 360

Cutting an Acquaintance, 253

Cutting his Coat, 57

Cutting off the Supplies, 310

Cutting on both Sides, 69

DAMPED ARDOR, 240

Dancing Prelates, The, 226

Dangerous Generalization, A, 243

Dead Language, 110

Deadly Weapon, A, 288

Dear Bargain, A, 323

Dear Speaker, A, 319

Death and Dr. Bolus, 335

Death-bed Forgiveness, 323

Debt Paid, The, 77

Debtor and Creditor, 126

Decanting Extraordinary, 168

Defining a Creed, 335

Degeneracy, 129

Delicate Hint, 130

Delpini's Remonstrance, 144

Democratic Vision, 80

Deserved Retort, A, 64

Destitution of the Smith Family, 351

Devil's Own, The, 229

Dialogue, A, 16

Dialogue in the Western Islands of Scotland, 279

Dido, 86

Difference, A, 4

Difference of Opinion, 277

Difficult Task, A, 188

Difficulties in either Case, 318

Diffidence, 185

Dilemma, A, 168

Dinner Code, 368

Direct Road, The, 197

Disappointing Subscriber, A, 194

Disapprobation, 45

"Distant" Friend, A, 259

Distant Prospect, A, 16

Distressful Denouement, A 300

Doctor Glynn's Receipt for Dressing a Cucumber, 285

Doctor Weather-eye, 59

Doctrine of Chances, The, 15

Dodging a Creditor, 136

Dogged Answer, A, 10

Dog-matic, 27

Dogmatism, 221

Dog Tax, The, 352

Doing Homage, 223

Domestic Economy, 92

Done for, 352

Donne, Dr., 362

Double Knock, A, 116

Double Sight, 365

"Double Times," A, 88

Doubt Explained, The, 353

Doubtful Compliment, A, 31

Doubtful Creed, A, 105

Dreadful Suspicion, A, 328

Drinking Alone, 174

Driving it Home, 113

Droll to Order, 322

Drop, A, 306

Dry, but not Thirsty, 350

Dry Fellow, A, 227

Dry Humor, 337

Dull Man, A, 274

Dulness of a Debate, 162

Dunning and Lord Mansfield, 39

Dunning and Lord Thurlow, 97

Duplex Movement, 58

Dutiful Daughter, A, 309

EARLY BIRDS OF PREY, 261

Early Habits, 342

Easily Answered, 135

Easily Satisfied, 164

East Indian Chaplaincy, An, 245

Easy as Lying, 29

Easy Way, An, 302

Ebenezer Adams, 150

Effort of Memory, An, 163

Elegant Compliment, 32

Elegant Retort, 205

Elliston and George IV., 240

Eloquent Silence, 117

Emperor of China, 48

Empty Gun, The, 113

Empty Head, An, 92

Encouragement, 216

Endless Task, An, 351

Entering the Lists, 236

Entertaining Proposition, An, 318

Envy, 238

EPIGRAMS:--
Accounting for the Apostacy of Ministers, 173
Addressed to Miss Edgeworth, 83
A Good Word for Ministers, 39
An Affirmative, 367
By a Plucked Man, 93
Conversational, 365
"Cumberland", 34
From the Italian, 82
"I'm Living Still", 17
"Life is a Lottery", 90
"Nature" the Shoulder to the Burden suits, 311
On a Bad Man, 47
On a Bald Head, 198
On a certain M.P.'s Indisposition, 196
On a Debtor Lord, 222
On a Gentleman named Heddy, 297
On a Great Talker, 337
On a Jury, 176
On a Lady who Squinted, 79
On a Lady who was Painted, 262
On a Little Member's Versatility, 203
On a New Duke, 37
On a Petit-Maitre Physician, 240
On a Squinting Poetess, 315
On a Stone thrown at a very Great Man, but which missed him, 26
On a Student, 232
On Alderman Wood, 224
On an M.P. who recently got his Election at the Sacrifice of his
Political Character, 214
On Bank Notes being made a Legal Tender, 53
On Bishop ----'s Religion, 365
On Black and White, 63
On Blank Cartridge, 341
On Bloomfield, the Poet, 291
On Butler's Monument, 340
On Charles Kean, the Actor, 80
On Cibber, 74
On "Disloyal" Collins, 336
On Dr. Glynn's Beauty, 182
On Dr. Lettsom, 290
On Dr. Walcot's Application for Shield's Ivory Opera Pass, 315
On Dr. Walcot's Request for Ivory Tickets, 318
On Drink, 182
On Hearing a prosing Harangue from a certain Bishop, 245
On Interminable Harangues, 76
On Jekyll's nearly being thrown down by a very small Pig, 116
On L--d--d--y, 81
On Lord ----'s delivering his Speeches in a sitting Position, owing
to excessive Gout, 121
On Lord E--nb--h's Pericranium, 89
On Lord W----'s saying the Independence of the House of Lords is
gone, 193
On Marriage, 170
On Meanness, 117
On Mr. Croker, 111
On Mr. Gully, 234
On Mr. Pitt's being pelted by the Mob, 295
On Mr. Milton, the Livery Stable-keeper, 239
On Neglect of Judicial Duties, 129
On Phryne, 345
On Pride, 101
On Rogers, the Poet, 226
On Shelley's Poem, "Prometheus Unbound", 230
On Sir Walter Scott's Poem of "Waterloo", 304
On the alleged Disinterestedness of a certain Prelate, 109
On the charge of Illegally Pawning brought against Captain B----,
M.P., 200
On the Column to the Duke of York's Memory, 29
On the Death of Foote, 81
On the Depth of Lord ----'s Arguments, 88
On the Disappointment of the Whigs, 307
On the Duke of ----'s Consistency, 104
On the Four Georges, 294
On the Immortality of ----'s Speeches, 89
On the King's Double Dealing, 166
On the late Duke of Buckingham's Moderate Reform, 328
On the Marriage of a very thin Couple, 172
On the Name of Keopalani, 153
On the Oiled and Perfumed Ringlets of a certain Lord, 178
On the Price of Admission to see the Mammoth Horse, 266
On the Sincerity of a certain Prelate, 134
On Two Contractors, 316
On the Two Harveys, 247
On Wolsey, 347
On ----'s Ponderous Speeches, 223
On ----'s Veracity, 319
"Pocket your Watch", 131
Suggested by hearing a Debate, 241
The Tanner, 115
"There's Nobody at Home", 65
To Closefist, 303
To Lady Mount E----, 300
"Turncoat", 46
Upon the Trustworthiness of ---- ----, 332
"Very like a Whale", 154
Written on the Union, 1801, 298

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