Awful Disclosures

M >> Maria Monk >> Awful Disclosures

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While in the community-room, I had taken a seat just within the
cupboard-door, where I often found a partial shelter from observation
with Jane, when a conversation incidentally began between us. Our
practice often was, to take places there beside one of the old nuns,
awaiting the time when she would go away for a little while and leave us
partially screened from the observation of others. On that occasion,
Jane and I were left for a time alone; when after some discourse on
suicide, she remarked, that three nuns once killed themselves in the
Convent. This happened, she said, not long after her reception, and I
knew, therefore, that it was several years before, for she had been
received a considerable time before I had become a novice. Three young
ladies, she informed me, took the veil together, or very near the same
time, I am not certain which. I know they have four robes in the
Convent, to be worn during the ceremony of taking the veil; but I have
never seen more than one of them used at a time.

Two of the new nuns were sisters, and the other their cousin. They had
been received but a few days, when information was given one morning
that they had been found dead in their beds, amid a profusion of blood.
Jane Ray said, she saw their corpses, and that they appeared to have
killed themselves, by opening veins in their arms with a knife they had
obtained, and all had bled to death together. What was extraordinary,
Jane Ray added, that she had heard no noise, and that she believed
nobody had suspected that any thing was wrong during the night. Saint
Hypolite, however, had stated, that she found them in the morning, after
the other nuns had gone to prayers, lying lifeless in their beds.

For some reason or other, their death was not made public; but their
bodies, instead of being exhibited in full dress in the chapel, and
afterward interred with solemnity beneath it, were taken unceremoniously
into the cellar, and thrown into the hole I have so often mentioned.

There were a few instances, and only a few, in which we knew any thing
that was happening in the world; and even then our knowledge did not
extend out of the city. I can recall but three occasions of this kind.
Two of them were when the cholera prevailed in Montreal; and the other
was the election riots. The appearance of the cholera, in both seasons
of its ravages, gave us abundance of occupation. Indeed, we were more
borne down by hard labor at those times, than ever before or afterward
during my stay. The Pope had given early notice that the burning of wax
candles would afford protection from the disease, because so long as any
person continued to burn one, the Virgin Mary would intercede for him.
No sooner, therefore, had the alarming disease made its appearance in
Montreal, than a long wax candle was lighted in the Convent for each of
the inmates, so that all parts of it in use were artificially
illuminated day and night. Thus a great many candles were kept
constantly burning, which were to be replaced from those manufactured by
the nuns. But this was a trifle. The Pope's message having been
promulgated in the Grey Nunnery, the Congregational Nunnery, and to
Catholics at large, through the pulpits, an extraordinary demand was
created for wax candles, to supply which we were principally depended
upon. All who could be employed in making them were therefore set at
work, and I among the rest, assisted in different departments, and
witnessed all.

Numbers of the nuns had been long familiar with the business; for a very
considerable amount of wax had been annually manufactured in the
Convent; but now the works were much extended, and other occupations in
a great degree laid aside. Large quantities of wax were received in the
building, which was said to have been imported from England; kettles
were placed in some of the working-rooms, in which it was clarified by
heat over coal fires, and when prepared, the process of dipping
commenced. The wicks which were quite long, were placed hanging upon a
reel, taken up and dipped in succession, until, after many slow
revolutions of the reel, the candles were of the proper size. They were
then taken to a part of the room where tables were prepared for rolling
them smooth. This is done by passing a roller over them, until they
became even and polished, after which they are laid by for sale. These
processes caused a constant bustle in several of the rooms; and the
melancholy reports from without, of the ravages of the cholera, with the
uncertainty of what might be the result with us, notwithstanding the
promised intercession of the Virgin, and the brilliant lights constantly
burning in such numbers around us, impressed the scenes I used to
witness very deeply on my mind. I had very little doubt myself of the
strict truth of the story we had heard of the security conferred upon
those who burnt candles, and yet I sometimes had serious fears arise in
my mind. These thoughts, however, I did my utmost to regard as great
sins, and evidences of my own want of faith.

It was during that period that I formed a partial acquaintance with
several Grey nuns, who used to come frequently for supplies of candles
for their Convent. I had no opportunity to converse with them, except so
far as the purchase and sale of the articles they required. I became
familiar with their countenances and appearances, but was unable to
judge of their characters or feelings. Concerning the rules and habits
prevailing in the Grey Nunnery; I therefore remained as ignorant as if I
had been a thousand miles off; and they had no better opportunity to
learn anything of us beyond what they could see around them in the room
where the candles were sold.

We supplied the Congregational Nunnery also with wax candles, as I
before remarked; and in both those institutions, it was understood a
constant illumination was kept up. Citizens were also frequently running
in to buy candles, in great and small quantities, so that the business
of storekeeping was far more laborious than common.

We were confirmed in our faith in the intercession of the Virgin, when
we found that we remained safe from the cholera; and it is a remarkable
fact, that not one case of that disease existed in the nunnery, during
either of the seasons in which it proved so fatal in the city.

When the election riots prevailed in Montreal, the city was thrown into
general alarm; we heard some reports, from day to day, which made us
anxious for ourselves. Nothing, however, gave me any serious thoughts
until I saw uncommon movements in some parts of the nunnery, and
ascertained, to my own satisfaction, that there was a large quantity of
gunpowder stored in some secret place within the walls, and that some of
it was removed, or prepared for use, under the direction of the
Superior.

I have mentioned several penances, in different parts of this narrative,
which we sometimes had to perform. There is a great variety of them;
and, while some, though trifling in appearance, became very painful, by
long endurance, or frequent repetition; others are severe in their
nature, and would never be submitted to unless through fear of something
worse, or a real belief in efficacy to remove guilt. I will mention here
such as I recollect, which can be named without offending a virtuous
ear; for some there were, which, although I have been compelled to
submit to, either by misled conscience, or the fear of severe
punishments, now that I am better able to judge of my duties, and at
liberty to act, I would not mention or describe.

Kissing the floor, is a very common penance; kneeling and kissing the
feet of the other nuns, is another: as are kneeling on hard peas, and
walking with them in the shoes. We had repeatedly to walk on our knees
through the subterranean passage, leading to the Congregational Nunnery;
and sometimes to eat our meals with a rope round our necks. Sometimes we
were fed only with such things as we most disliked. Garlic was given to
me on this account, because I had a strong antipathy against it. Eels
were repeatedly given to some of us, because we felt an unconquerable
repugnance to them, on account of reports we had heard of their feeding
on dead carcasses, in the river St. Lawrence. It was no uncommon thing
for us to be required to drink the water in which the Superior had
washed her feet. Sometimes we were required to brand ourselves with a
hot iron, so as to leave scars; at other times to whip our naked flesh
with several small rods, before a private altar, until we drew blood. I
can assert, with the perfect knowledge of the fact, that many of the
nuns bear the scars of these wounds.

One of our penances was to stand for a length of time, with our arms
extended, in imitation of the Saviour on the cross. The _Chemin de la
Croix_, or Road to the Cross, is, in fact, a penance, though it
consists of a variety of prostrations, with the repetition of many
prayers, occupying two or three hours. This we had to perform
frequently, going into the chapel, and falling before each chapelle in
succession, at each time commemorating some particular act or
circumstance reported of the Saviour's progress to the place of his
crucifixion. Sometimes we were obliged to sleep on the floor in the
winter, with nothing over us but a single sheet; and sometimes to chew a
piece of window-glass to a fine powder, in the presence of the Superior.

We had sometimes to wear leathern belts stuck full of sharp metallic
points round our waists, and the upper part of our arms, bound on so
tight that they penetrated the flesh, and drew blood.

Some of the penances was so severe, that they seemed too much to be
endured; and when they were imposed, the nuns who were to suffer them,
sometimes showed the most violent repugnance. They would often resist,
and still oftener express their opposition by exclamations and screams.

Never, however, was any noise heard from them, for a long time for there
was a remedy always ready to be applied in cases of the kind. The gag
which was put into the month of the unfortunate Saint Francis, had been
brought from a place where there were forty or fifty others, of
different shapes and sizes. These I have seen in their depository, which
is a drawer between two closets, in one of the community-rooms. Whenever
any loud noise was made, one of these instruments was demanded, and
gagging commenced at once. I have known many, many instances, and
sometimes five or six nuns gagged at once. Sometimes they would become
so much excited before they could be bound and gagged, that considerable
force was necessary to be exerted; and I have seen the blood flowing
from months into which the gag had been thrust with violence.

Indeed I ought to know something on this department of nunnery
discipline: I have had it tried upon myself, and I can bear witness that
it is not only most humiliating and oppressive, but often extremely
painful. The month is kept forced open, and the straining of the jaws at
their utmost stretch, for a considerable time, is very distressing.

One of the worst punishments which I ever saw inflicted, was that with a
cap; and yet some of the old nuns were permitted to inflict it at their
pleasure. I have repeatedly known them to go for a cap, when one of our
number had transgressed a rule, sometimes though it were a very
unimportant one. These caps were kept in a cupboard in the old nuns'
room, whence they were brought when wanted.

They were small, made of a reddish looking leather, fitted closely to
the head, and fastened under the chin with a kind of buckle. It was the
common practice to tie the nun's hands behind and gag her before the cap
was put on, to prevent noise and resistance. I never saw it worn by any
for one moment, without throwing them into severe sufferings. If
permitted, they would scream in a most shocking manner; and they always
writhed as much as their confinement would allow. I can speak from
personal knowledge of this punishment, as I have endured it more than
once; and yet I have no idea of the cause of the pain. I never examined
one of the caps, nor saw the inside, for they are always brought and
taken away quickly; but although the first sensation was that of
coolness, it was hardly put on my head before a violent and
indescribable sensation began, like that of a blister, only much more
insupportable; and this continued until it was removed. It would produce
such an acute pain as to throw us into convulsions, and I think no human
being could endure it for an hour. After this punishment we felt its
effects through the system for many days. Having once known what it was
by experience, I held the cap in dread, and whenever I was condemned to
suffer the punishment again, felt ready to do any thing to avoid it. But
when tied and gagged, with the cap on my head again, I could only sink
upon the floor, and roll about in anguish until it was taken off.

This was usually done in about ten minutes, sometimes less, but the pain
always continued in my head for several days. I thought that it might
take away a person's reason if kept on a much longer time. If I had not
been gagged, I am sure I should have uttered awful screams. I have felt
the effects for a week. Sometimes fresh cabbage leaves were applied to
my head to remove it. Having had no opportunity to examine my head, I
cannot say more.

This punishment was occasionally resorted to for very trifling offences,
such as washing the hands without permission; and it was generally
applied on the spot, and before the other nuns in the community-room.

CHAPTER XIX.

The Priests of the District of Montreal have free access to the Black
Nunnery--Crimes committed and required by them--The Pope's command to
commit indecent Crimes--Characters of the Old and New Superiors--The
timidity of the latter--I began to be employed in the Hospitals--Some
account of them--Warning given me by a sick Nun--Penance by Hanging.

I have mentioned before, that the country, as far down as Three Rivers,
is furnished with priests by the Seminary of Montreal; and that these
hundred and fifty men are liable to be occasionally transferred from one
station to another. Numbers of them are often to be seen in the streets
of Montreal, as they may find a home in the Seminary.

They are considered as haying an equal right to enter the Black Nunnery
whenever they please; and then, according to our oaths, they have
complete control over the nuns. To name all the works of shame of which
they are guilty in that retreat, would require much time and space,
neither would it be necessary to the accomplishment of my object, which
is, the publication of but some of their criminality to the world, and
the development, in general terms, of scenes thus far carried on in
secret within the walls of that Convent, where I was so long an inmate.

Secure against detection by the world, they never believed that an
eyewitness would ever escape to tell of their crimes, and declare some
of their names before the world; but the time has come, and some of
their deeds of darkness must come to the day. I have seen in the
nunnery, the priests from more, I presume, than a hundred country
places, admitted for shameful and criminal purposes: from St. Charles,
St. Denis, St. Mark's St. Antoine, Chambly, Bertier, St. John's, &c. &c.

How unexpected to them will be the disclosures I make! Shut up in a
place from which there has been thought to be but one way of egress, and
that the passage to the grave, they considered themselves safe in
perpetrating crimes in our presence, and in making us share in their
criminality as often as they chose, and conducted more shamelessly than
even the brutes. These debauchees would come in without ceremony,
concealing their names, both by night and by day, where the cries and
pains of the injured innocence of their victims could never reach the
world, for relief or redress for their wrongs; without remorse or shame,
they would glory in torturing, in the most barbarous manner, the
feelings of those under their power; telling us, at the same time, that
this mortifying of the flesh was religion, and pleasing to God.

We were sometimes invited to put ourselves to voluntary sufferings in a
variety of ways, not for a penance, but to show our devotion to God. A
priest would sometimes say to us--

"Now, which of you have love enough for Jesus Christ to stick a pin
through your cheeks?"

Some of us would signify our readiness, and immediately thrust one
through up to the head. Sometimes he would propose that we should repeat
the operation several times on the spot; and the cheeks of a number of
nuns would be bloody.

There were other acts occasionally proposed and consented to, which I
cannot name in a book. Such the Superior would sometimes command us to
perform; many of them things not only useless, and unheard of, but
loathsome and indecent in the highest possible degree. How they could
ever have been invented I never could conceive. Things were done worse
than the entire exposure of the person, though this was occasionally
required of several at once, in the presence of priests.

The Superior of the Seminary would sometimes come and inform us, that he
had received orders from the Pope, to request that those nuns who
possessed the greatest devotion and faith, should be requested to
perform some particular deeds, which he named or described in our
presence, but of which no decent or moral person could ever endure to
speak. I cannot repeat what would injure any ear, not debased to the
lowest possible degree. I am bound by a regard to truth, however, to
confess, that deluded women were found among us, who would comply with
those requests.

There was a great difference between the characters of our old and new
Superior, which soon became obvious. The former used to say she liked to
walk, because it would prevent her from becoming corpulent. She was,
therefore, very active, and constantly going about from one part of the
nunnery to another, overseeing us at our various employments. I never
saw in her any appearance of timidity: she seemed, on the contrary, bold
and masculine, and sometimes much more than that, cruel and cold-
blooded, in scenes calculated to overcome any common person. Such a
character she had exhibited at the murder of Saint Francis.

The new Superior, on the other hand, was so heavy and lame, that she
walked with much difficulty, and consequently exercised a less vigilant
oversight of the nuns. She was also of a timid disposition, or else had
been overcome by some great fright in her past life; for she was apt to
become alarmed in the night, and never liked to be alone in the dark.
She had long performed the part of an old nun, which is that of a spy
upon the younger ones, and was well known to us in that character, under
the name of Ste. Margarite. Soon after her promotion to the station of
Superior, she appointed me to sleep in her apartment, and assigned me a
sofa to lie upon. One night while, I was asleep, she suddenly threw
herself upon me, and exclaimed in great alarm, "Oh! mon Dieu! mon Dieu!
Qu'est que ca?" Oh, my God! my God! What is that? I jumped up and looked
about the room, but saw nothing, and endeavoured to convince her that
there was nothing extraordinary there. But she insisted that a ghost had
come and held her bed-curtain, so that she could not draw it. I examined
it, and found that the curtain had been caught by a pin in the valance,
which had held it back; but it was impossible to tranquillize her for
some time. She insisted on my sleeping with her the rest of the night,
and I stretched myself across the foot of her bed, and slept there till
morning.

During the last part of my stay in the Convent, I was often employed in
attending in the hospitals. There are, as I have before mentioned,
several apartments devoted to the sick, and there is a physician of
Montreal, who attends as physician to the Convent. It must not be
supposed, however, that he knows anything concerning the private
hospitals. It is a fact of great importance to be distinctly understood,
and constantly borne in mind, that he is never, under any circumstances,
admitted into the private hospital-rooms. Of those he sees nothing more
than any stranger whatever. He is limited to the care of those patients
who are admitted from the city into the public hospital, and one of the
nuns' hospitals, and these he visits every day. Sick poor are received
for charity by the institution, attended by some of the nuns, and often
go away with the highest ideas of their charitable characters and holy
lives. The physician himself might perhaps in some cases share in the
delusion.

I frequently followed Dr. Nelson through the public hospital, at the
direction of the Superior, with pen, ink, and paper in my hands, and
wrote down the prescriptions which he ordered for the different
patients. These were afterwards prepared and administered by the
attendants. About a year before I left the Convent, I was first
appointed to attend the private sick-rooms, and was frequently employed
in that duty up to the day of my departure. Of course, I had
opportunities to observe the number and classes of patients treated
there; and in what I am to say on the subject, I appeal with perfect
confidence to any true and competent witness to confirm, my words,
whenever such a witness may appear.

It would be vain for any body who has merely visited the Convent from
curiosity, or resided in it as a novice, to question my declarations.
Such a person must necessarily be ignorant of even the existence of the
private rooms, unless informed by some one else. Such rooms however,
there are, and I could relate many things which have passed there during
the hours I was employed in them, as I have stated.

One night I was called to sit up with an old nun, named Saint Clare,
who, in going down-stairs, had dislocated a limb, and lay in a sick-room
adjoining an hospital. She seemed to be a little out of her head a part
of the time, but appeared to be quite in possession of her reason most
of the night. It was easy to pretend that she was delirious; but I
considered her as speaking the truth, though I felt reluctant to repeat
what I heard her say, and excused myself from mentioning it even at
confession, on the ground that the Superior thought her deranged.

What led her to some of the most remarkable parts of her conversation,
was a motion I made, in the course of the night, to take the light out
of her little room into the adjoining apartment, to look once more at
the sick persons there. She begged me not to leave her a moment in the
dark, for she could not bear it. "I have witnessed so many horrid
scenes," said she, "in this Convent, that I want somebody near me
constantly, and must always have a light burning in my room. I cannot
tell you," she added, "what things I remember, for they would frighten
you too much. What you have seen are nothing to them. Many a murder have
I witnessed; many a nice young creature has been killed in this nunnery.
I advise you to be very cautions--keep everything to yourself--there are
many here ready to betray you."

What it was that induced the old nun to express so much kindness to me I
could not tell, unless she was frightened at the recollection of her own
crimes, and those of others, and felt grateful for the care I took of
her. She had been one of the night-watches, and never before showed me
any particular kindness. She did not indeed go into detail concerning
the transactions to which she alluded, but told me that some nuns had
been murdered under great aggravations of cruelty, by being gagged, and
left to starve in the cells, or having their flesh burnt off their bones
with red-hot irons.

It was uncommon to find compunction expressed by any of the nuns. Habit
renders us insensible to the sufferings of others, and careless about
our own sins. I had become so hardened myself, that I find it difficult
to rid myself of many of my former false principles and views of right
and wrong.

I was one day set to wash some of the empty bottles from the cellar,
which had contained the liquid that was poured into the cemetery there.
A number of these had been brought from the corner where so many of them
were always to be seen, and placed at the head of the cellar stairs, and
there we were required to take them and wash them out. We poured in
water and rinsed them; a few drops, which got upon our clothes, soon
made holes in them. I think the liquid was called vitriol, or some such
name; and I heard some persons say, that it would soon destroy the
flesh, and even the bones of the dead. At another time, we were
furnished with a little of the liquid, which was mixed with a quantity
of water, and used in dying some cloth black, which was wanted at
funerals in the chapels. Our hands were turned very black by being
dipped in it, but a few drops of some other liquid were mixed with fresh
water and given us to wash in, which left our skin of a bright red.

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