Tik Tok of Oz
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11 TIK-TOK OF OZ
by L. FRANK BAUM
To Louis F. Gottschalk,
whose sweet and dainty melodies
breathe the true spirit of fairyland,
this book is affectionately dedicated
To My Readers
The very marked success of my last year's fairy
book, "The Patchwork Girl of Oz," convinces me
that my readers like the Oz stories "best of all," as
one little girl wrote me. So here, my dears, is a
new Oz story in which is introduced Ann Soforth,
the Queen of Oogaboo, whom Tik-Tok assisted
in conquering our old acquaintance, the Nome King.
It also tells of Betsy Bobbin and how, after many
adventures, she finally reached the marvelous
Land of Oz.
There is a play called "The Tik-Tok Man of Oz,"
but it is not like this story of "Tik-Tok of Oz,"
although some of the adventures recorded in this
book, as well as those in several other Oz books,
are included in the play. Those who have seen the
play and those who have read the other Oz books
will find in this story a lot of strange
characters and adventures that they have never
heard of before.
In the letters I receive from children there has
been an urgent appeal for me to write a story that
will take Trot and Cap'n Bill to the Land of Oz,
where they will meet Dorothy and Ozma. Also
they think Button-Bright ought to get acquainted
with Ojo the Lucky. As you know, I am obliged
to talk these matters over with Dorothy by means
of the "wireless," for that is the only way I can
communicate with the Land of Oz. When I asked
her about this idea, she replied: "Why, haven't you
heard?" I said "No." "Well," came the message over
the wireless, "I'll tell you all about it, by and
by, and then you can make a book of that story for
the children to read."
So, if Dorothy keeps her word and I am permitted
to write another Oz book, you will probably
discover how all these characters came together in
the famous Emerald City. Meantime, I want to tell
all my little friends--whose numbers are increasing
by many thousands every year--that I am very
grateful for the favor they have shown my books and
for the delightful little letters I am constantly
receiving. I am almost sure that I have as many friends
among the children of America as any story writer
alive; and this, of course, makes me very proud and
happy.
L. Frank Baum.
"OZCOT"
at HOLLYWOOD
in CALIFORNIA,
1914.
LIST OF CHAPTERS
1 - Ann's Army
2 - Out of Oogaboo
3 - Magic Mystifies the Marchers
4 - Betsy Braves the Bellows
5 - The Roses Repulse the Refugees
6 - Shaggy Seeks His Stray Brother
7 - Polychrome's Pitiful Plight
8 - Tik-Tok Tackles a Tough Task
9 - Ruggedo's Rage is Rash and Reckless
10 - A Terrible Tumble Through a Tube
11 - The Famous Fellowship of Fairies
12 - The Lovely Lady of Light
13 - The Jinjin's Just Judgment
14 - The Long-Eared Hearer Learns by Listening
15 - The Dragon Defies Danger
16 - The Naughty Nome
17 - A Tragic Transformation
18 - A Clever Conquest
19 - King Kaliko
20 - Quox Quietly Quits
21 - A Bashful Brother
22 - Kindly Kisses
23 - Ruggedo Reforms
24 - Dorothy is Delighted
25 - The Land of Love
TIK-TOK of OZ
Chapter One
Ann's Army
"I won't!" cried Ann; "I won't sweep the floor. It
is beneath my dignity."
"Some one must sweep it," replied Ann's younger
sister, Salye; "else we shall soon be wading in
dust. And you are the eldest, and the head of the
family."
"I'm Queen of Oogaboo," said Ann, proudly.
"But," she added with a sigh, "my kingdom is the
smallest and the poorest in all the Land of Oz."
This was quite true. Away up in the mountains,
in a far corner of the beautiful fairyland of Oz,
lies a small valley which is named Oogaboo, and in
this valley lived a few people who were usually
happy and contented and never cared to wander over
the mountain pass into the more settled parts of
the land. They knew that all of Oz, including
their own territory, was ruled by a beautiful
Princess named Ozma, who lived in the splendid
Emerald City; yet the simple folk of Oogaboo
never visited Ozma. They had a royal family of
their own--not especially to rule over them, but
just as a matter of pride. Ozma permitted the
various parts of her country to have their Kings
and Queens and Emperors and the like, but all were
ruled over by the lovely girl Queen of the Emerald
City.
The King of Oogaboo used to be a man named
Jol Jemkiph Soforth, who for many years did
all the drudgery of deciding disputes and telling
his people when to plant cabbages and pickle
onions. But the King's wife had a sharp tongue
and small respect for the King, her husband;
therefore one night King Jol crept over the pass
into the Land of Oz and disappeared from
Oogaboo for good and all. The Queen waited
a few years for him to return and then started
in search of him, leaving her eldest daughter,
Ann Soforth, to act as Queen.
Now, Ann had not forgotten when her birthday
came, for that meant a party and feasting and
dancing, but she had quite forgotten how many
years the birthdays marked. In a land where people
live always, this is not considered a cause for
regret, so we may justly say that Queen Ann of
Oogaboo was old enough to make jelly--and let it go
at that.
But she didn't make jelly, or do any more of the
housework than she could help. She was an
ambitious woman and constantly resented the fact
that her kingdom was so tiny and her people so
stupid and unenterprising. Often she wondered what
had become of her father and mother, out beyond
the pass, in the wonderful Land of Oz, and the
fact that they did not return to Oogaboo led Ann
to suspect that they had found a better place to
live. So, when Salye refused to sweep the floor of
the living room in the palace, and Ann would not
sweep it, either, she said to her sister:
"I'm going away. This absurd Kingdom of Oogaboo
tires me."
"Go, if you want to," answered Salye; "but you
are very foolish to leave this place."
"Why?" asked Ann.
"Because in the Land of Oz, which is Ozma's
country, you will be a nobody, while here you
are a Queen."
"Oh, yes! Queen over eighteen men, twenty-seven
women and forty-four children!" returned Ann
bitterly.
"Well, there are certainly more people than that
in the great Land of Oz," laughed Salye. "Why
don't you raise an army and conquer them, and be
Queen of all Oz?" she asked, trying to taunt Ann
and so to anger her. Then she made a face at her
sister and went into the back yard to swing in the
hammock.
Her jeering words, however, had given Queen Ann
an idea. She reflected that Oz was reported to be
a peaceful country and Ozma a mere girl who ruled
with gentleness to all and was obeyed because her
people loved her. Even in Oogaboo the story was
told that Ozma's sole army consisted of twenty-
seven fine officers, who wore beautiful uniforms
but carried no weapons, because there was no one
to fight. Once there had been a private soldier,
besides the officers, but Ozma had made him a
Captain-General and taken away his gun for fear it
might accidentally hurt some one.
The more Ann thought about the matter the more
she was convinced it would be easy to conquer the
Land of Oz and set herself up as Ruler in Ozma's
place, if she but had an Army to do it with.
Afterward she could go out into the world and
conquer other lands, and then perhaps she could
find a way to the moon, and conquer that. She had
a warlike spirit that preferred trouble to
idleness.
It all depended on an Army, Ann decided. She
carefully counted in her mind all the men of her
kingdom. Yes; there were exactly eighteen of them,
all told. That would not make a very big Army, but
by surprising Ozma's unarmed officers her men
might easily subdue them. "Gentle people are
always afraid of those that bluster," Ann told
herself. "I don't wish to shed any blood, for that
would shock my nerves and I might faint; but if we
threaten and flash our weapons I am sure the
people of Oz will fall upon their knees before me
and surrender."
This argument, which she repeated to herself
more than once, finally determined the Queen of
Oogaboo to undertake the audacious venture.
"Whatever happens," she reflected, "can make
me no more unhappy than my staying shut up
in this miserable valley and sweeping floors and
quarreling with Sister Salye; so I will venture
all, and win what I may."
That very day she started out to organize her
Army.
The first man she came to was Jo Apple, so
called because he had an apple orchard.
"Jo," said Ann, "I am going to conquer the
world, and I want you to join my Army."
"Don't ask me to do such a fool thing, for I
must politely refuse Your Majesty," said Jo
Apple."
"I have no intention of asking you. I shall
command you, as Queen of Oogaboo, to join," said
Ann.
"In that case, I suppose I must obey," the man
remarked, in a sad voice. "But I pray you to
consider that I am a very important citizen, and
for that reason am entitled to an office of high
rank."
"You shall be a General," promised Ann.
"With gold epaulets and a sword?" he asked.
"Of course," said the Queen.
Then she went to the next man, whose name was Jo
Bunn, as he owned an orchard where graham-buns and
wheat-buns, in great variety, both hot and cold,
grew on the trees.
"Jo," said Ann, "I am going to conquer the
world, and I command you to join my Army."
"Impossible!" he exclaimed. "The bun crop has to
be picked."
"Let your wife and children do the picking,"
said Ann.
"But I'm a man of great importance, Your
Majesty," he protested.
"For that reason you shall be one of my
Generals, and wear a cocked hat with gold
braid, and curl your mustaches and clank a long
sword," she promised.
So he consented, although sorely against his
will, and the Queen walked on to the next
cottage. Here lived Jo Cone, so called because
the trees in his orchard bore crops of excellent
ice-cream cones.
"Jo," said Ann, "I am going to conquer the
world, and you must join my Army."
"Excuse me, please," said Jo Cone. "I am a
bad fighter. My good wife conquered me years
ago, for she can fight better than I. Take her,
Your Majesty, instead of me, and I'll bless you
for the favor."
"This must be an army of men--fierce, ferocious
warriors," declared Ann, looking sternly upon the
mild little man.
"And you will leave my wife here in Oogaboo?" he
asked.
"Yes; and make you a General."
"I'll go," said Jo Cone, and Ann went on to
the cottage of Jo Clock, who had an orchard of
clock-trees. This man at first insisted that he
would not join the army, but Queen Ann's
promise to make him a General finally won his
consent.
"How many Generals are there in your army?"
he asked.
"Four, so far," replied Ann.
"And how big will the army be?" was his next
question.
"I intend to make every one of the eighteen
men in Oogaboo join it," she said.
"Then four Generals are enough," announced
Jo Clock. "I advise you to make the rest of them
Colonels."
Ann tried to follow his advice. The next four
men she visited--who were Jo Plum, Jo Egg, Jo
Banjo and Jo Cheese, named after the trees in
their orchards--she made Colonels of her Army; but
the fifth one, Jo Nails, said Colonels and
Generals were getting to be altogether too common
in the Army of Oogaboo and he preferred to be a
Major. So Jo Nails, Jo Cake, Jo Ham and Jo
Stockings were all four made Majors, while the
next four--Jo Sandwich, Jo Padlocks, Jo Sundae and
Jo Buttons--were appointed Captains of the Army.
But now Queen Ann was in a quandary. There
remained but two other men in all Oogaboo,
and if she made these two Lieutenants, while
there were four Captains, four Majors, four
Colonels and four Generals, there was likely to
be jealousy in her army, and perhaps mutiny
and desertions.
One of these men, however, was Jo Candy, and he
would not go at all. No promises could tempt him,
nor could threats move him. He said he must remain
at home to harvest his crop of jackson-balls,
lemon-drops, bonbons and chocolate-creams. Also he
had large fields of crackerjack and buttered
pop corn to be mowed and threshed, and he was
determined not to disappoint the children of
Oogaboo by going away to conquer the world and so
let the candy crop spoil.
Finding Jo Candy so obstinate, Queen Ann
let him have his own way and continued her
journey to the house of the eighteenth and last
man in Oogaboo, who was a young fellow
named Jo Files. This Files had twelve trees
which bore steel files of various sorts; but also
he had nine book-trees, on which grew a choice
selection of story-books. In case you have never
seen books growing upon trees, I will explain
that those in Jo Files' orchard were enclosed
in broad green husks which, when fully ripe,
turned to a deep red color. Then the books were
picked and husked and were ready to read. If
they were picked too soon, the stories were found
to be confused and uninteresting and the spelling
bad. However, if allowed to ripen perfectly, the
stories were fine reading and the spelling and
grammar excellent.
Files freely gave his books to all who wanted
them, but the people of Oogaboo cared little for
books and so he had to read most of them himself,
before they spoiled. For, as you probably know, as
soon as the books were read the words disappeared
and the leaves withered and faded--which is the
worst fault of all books which grow upon trees.
When Queen Ann spoke to this young man Files,
who was both intelligent and ambitious, he said he
thought it would be great fun to conquer the
world. But he called her attention to the fact
that he was far superior to the other men of her
army. Therefore, he would not be one of her
Generals or Colonels or Majors or Captains, but
claimed the honor of being sole Private.
Ann did not like this idea at all.
"I hate to have a Private Soldier in my army,"
she said; "they're so common. I am told that
Princess Ozma once had a private soldier, but
she made him her Captain-General, which is
good evidence that the private was unnecessary."
"Ozma's army doesn't fight," returned Files;
"but your army must fight like fury in order to
conquer the world. I have read in my books that it
is always the private soldiers who do the
fighting, for no officer is ever brave enough to
face the foe. Also, it stands to reason that your
officers must have some one to command and to
issue their orders to; therefore I'll be the one.
I long to slash and slay the enemy and become a
hero. Then, when we return to Oogaboo, I'll take
all the marbles away from the children and melt
them up and make a marble statue of myself for all
to look upon and admire."
Ann was much pleased with Private Files. He
seemed indeed to be such a warrior as she needed
in her enterprise, and her hopes of success took
a sudden bound when Files told her he knew
where a gun-tree grew and would go there at
once and pick the ripest and biggest musket the
tree bore.
Chapter Two
Out of Oogaboo
Three days later the Grand Army of Oogaboo
assembled in the square in front of the royal
palace. The sixteen officers were attired in
gorgeous uniforms and carried sharp, glittering
swords. The Private had picked his gun and,
although it was not a very big weapon, Files tried
to look fierce and succeeded so well that all his
commanding officers were secretly afraid of him.
The women were there, protesting that Queen Ann
Soforth had no right to take their husbands and
fathers from them; but Ann commanded them to keep
silent, and that was the hardest order to obey
they had ever received.
The Queen appeared before her Army dressed in an
imposing uniform of green, covered with gold
braid. She wore a green soldier-cap with a purple
plume in it and looked so royal and dignified that
everyone in Oogaboo except the Army was glad she
was going. The Army was sorry she was not going
alone.
"Form ranks!" she cried in her shrill voice.
Salye leaned out of the palace window and
laughed.
"I believe your Army can run better than it can
fight," she observed.
"Of course," replied General Bunn, proudly.
"We're not looking for trouble, you know, but for
plunder. The more plunder and the less fighting we
get, the better we shall like our work."
"For my part," said Files, "I prefer war and
carnage to anything. The only way to become
a hero is to conquer, and the story-books all say
that the easiest way to conquer is to fight."
"That's the idea, my brave man!" agreed Ann. "To
fight is to conquer and to conquer is to secure
plunder and to secure plunder is to become a hero.
With such noble determination to back me, the
world is mine! Good-bye, Salye. When we return we
shall be rich and famous. Come, Generals; let us
march."
At this the Generals straightened up and threw
out their chests. Then they swung their glittering
swords in rapid circles and cried to the Colonels:
"For-ward March!"
Then the Colonels shouted to the Majors:
"For-ward March!" and the Majors yelled to the
Captains: "For-ward March!" and the Captains
screamed to the Private:
"For-ward March!"
So Files shouldered his gun and began to march,
and all the officers followed after him. Queen Ann
came last of all, rejoicing in her noble army and
wondering why she had not decided long ago to
conquer the world.
In this order the procession marched out of
Oogaboo and took the narrow mountain pass
which led into the lovely Fairyland of Oz.
Chapter Three
Magic Mystifies the Marchers
Princess Ozma was all unaware that the Army of
Oogaboo, led by their ambitious Queen, was
determined to conquer her Kingdom. The beautiful
girl Ruler of Oz was busy with the welfare of her
subjects and had no time to think of Ann Soforth
and her disloyal plans. But there was one who
constantly guarded the peace and happiness of the
Land of Oz and this was the Official Sorceress of
the Kingdom, Glinda the Good.
In her magnificent castle, which stands far
north of the Emerald City where Ozma holds her
court, Glinda owns a wonderful magic Record Book,
in which is printed every event that takes place
anywhere, just as soon as it happens.
The smallest things and the biggest things are
all recorded in this book. If a child stamps its
foot in anger, Glinda reads about it; if a city
burns down, Glinda finds the fact noted in her
book.
The Sorceress always reads her Record Book every
day, and so it was she knew that Ann Soforth,
Queen of Oogaboo, had foolishly assembled an army
of sixteen officers and one private soldier, with
which she intended to invade and conquer the Land
of Oz.
There was no danger but that Ozma, supported by
the magic arts of Glinda the Good and the powerful
Wizard of Oz--both her firm friends--could easily
defeat a far more imposing army than Ann's; but it
would be a shame to have the peace of Oz
interrupted by any sort of quarreling or fighting.
So Glinda did not even mention the matter to Ozma,
or to anyone else. She merely went into a great
chamber of her castle, known as the Magic Room,
where she performed a magical ceremony which
caused the mountain pass that led from Oogaboo to
make several turns and twists. The result was that
when Ann and her army came to the end of the pass
they were not in the Land of Oz at all, but in an
adjoining territory that was quite distinct from
Ozma's domain and separated from Oz by an
invisible barrier.
As the Oogaboo people emerged into this country,
the pass they had traversed disappeared behind
them and it was not likely they would ever find
their way back into the valley of Oogaboo. They
were greatly puzzled, indeed, by their
surroundings and did not know which way to go.
None of them had ever visited Oz, so it took them
some time to discover they were not in Oz at all,
but in an unknown country.
"Never mind," said Ann, trying to conceal her
disappointment; "we have started out to conquer
the world, and here is part of it. In time, as we
pursue our victorious journey, we will doubtless
come to Oz; but, until we get there, we may as
well conquer whatever land we find ourselves in."
"Have we conquered this place, Your Majesty?"
anxiously inquired Major Cake.
"Most certainly," said Ann. "We have met no
people, as yet, but when we do, we will inform
them that they are our slaves."
"And afterward we will plunder them of all
their possessions," added General Apple.
"They may not possess anything," objected
Private Files; "but I hope they will fight us,
just the same. A peaceful conquest wouldn't be any
fun at all."
"Don't worry," said the Queen. "We can fight,
whether our foes do or not; and perhaps we would
find it more comfortable to have the enemy
surrender promptly."
It was a barren country and not very pleasant to
travel in. Moreover, there was little for them to
eat, and as the officers became hungry they became
fretful. Many would have deserted had they been
able to find their way home, but as the Oogaboo
people were now hopelessly lost in a strange
country they considered it more safe to keep
together than to separate.
Queen Ann's temper, never very agreeable, became
sharp and irritable as she and her army tramped
over the rocky roads without encountering either
people or plunder. She scolded her officers until
they became surly, and a few of them were disloyal
enough to ask her to hold her tongue. Others began
to reproach her for leading them into difficulties
and in the space of three unhappy days every man
was mourning for his orchard in the pretty valley
of Oogaboo.
Files, however, proved a different sort. The
more difficulties he encountered the more cheerful
he became, and the sighs of the officers were
answered by the merry whistle of the Private. His
pleasant disposition did much to encourage Queen
Ann and before long she consulted the Private
Soldier more often than she did his superiors.
It was on the third day of their pilgrimage
that they encountered their first adventure.
Toward evening the sky was suddenly darkened
and Major Nails exclaimed:
"A fog is coming toward us."
"I do not think it is a fog," replied Files,
looking with interest at the approaching cloud.
"It seems to me more like the breath of a Rak."
"What is a Rak?" asked Ann, looking about
fearfully.
"A terrible beast with a horrible appetite,"
answered the soldier, growing a little paler than
usual. "I have never seen a Rak, to be sure, but I
have read of them in the story-books that grew in
my orchard, and if this is indeed one of those
fearful monsters, we are not likely to conquer the
world."
Hearing this, the officers became quite worried
and gathered closer about their soldier.
"What is the thing like?" asked one.
"The only picture of a Rak that I ever saw in a
book was rather blurred," said Files, "because the
book was not quite ripe when it was picked. But
the creature can fly in the air and run like a
deer and swim like a fish. Inside its body is a
glowing furnace of fire, and the Rak breathes in
air and breathes out smoke, which darkens the sky
for miles around, wherever it goes. It is bigger
than a hundred men and feeds on any living thing."
The officers now began to groan and to tremble,
but Files tried to cheer them, saying:
"It may not be a Rak, after all, that we see
approaching us, and you must not forget that we
people of Oogaboo, which is part of the fairyland
of Oz, cannot be killed."
"Nevertheless," said Captain Buttons, "if the
Rak catches us, and chews us up into small pieces,
and swallows us--what will happen then?"
"Then each small piece will still be alive,"
declared Files.
"I cannot see how that would help us," wailed
Colonel Banjo. "A hamburger steak is a hamburger
steak, whether it is alive or not!"
"I tell you, this may not be a Rak," persisted
Files. "We will know, when the cloud gets nearer,
whether it is the breath of a Rak or not. If it
has no smell at all, it is probably a fog; but if
it has an odor of salt and pepper, it is a Rak and
we must prepare for a desperate fight."
They all eyed the dark cloud fearfully. Before
long it reached the frightened group and began
to envelop them. Every nose sniffed the cloud--
and every one detected in it the odor of salt and
pepper.
"The Rak!" shouted Private Files, and with a
howl of despair the sixteen officers fell to the
ground, writhing and moaning in anguish.
Queen Ann sat down upon a rock and faced the
cloud more bravely, although her heart was beating
fast. As for Files, he calmly loaded his gun
and stood ready to fight the foe, as a soldier
should.
They were now in absolute darkness, for the
cloud which covered the sky and the setting sun
was black as ink. Then through the gloom appeared
two round, glowing balls of red, and Files at once
decided these must be the monster's eyes.
He raised his gun, took aim and fired.
There were several bullets in the gun, all
gathered from an excellent bullet-tree in Oogaboo,
and they were big and hard. They flew toward the
monster and struck it, and with a wild, weird cry
the Rak came fluttering down and its huge body
fell plump upon the forms of the sixteen officers,
who thereupon screamed louder than before.
"Badness me!" moaned the Rak. "See what
you've done with that dangerous gun of yours!"
"I can't see," replied Files, "for the cloud
formed by your breath darkens my sight!"
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