Aims and Aids for Girls and Young Women
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George Sumner Weaver >> Aims and Aids for Girls and Young Women
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So far as this relation of the parts is concerned, it is the same in the
perfect male and female mind. In just so much as this relation is
changed, is the judgment corrupted and the mental strength impaired. In
the present male mind this relation is changed by giving the greater
cultivation to the intellect, and less to the moral sense and the heart.
So his judgment is impaired and the moral dignity of his soul debased.
He is a less man than he ought to be; is deformed in his mental growth,
like a tree grown in a shady place where the light could reach it from
only one quarter. He has less power of mind than he would have with the
same amount of cultivation properly and equally distributed among the
several departments of his mind. Strength lies in balance of power. Our
men are not too intellectual, but too intellectual for their moral and
affectionate strength. They are like an apple grown on all one side, or
a horse with disproportioned body, or any animal with some of its limbs
too short for the rest. Mentally they are deformed and lame by their
one-sided culture. In the present female mind there is a disproportion
in another direction. In this the intellect has been neglected, while
the moral and social mind has had a better degree of cultivation. Thus
our women have been mentally deformed and weakened. They are less woman
than they ought to have been. Their characters and judgments have lacked
harmony, and their lives have been marked by the same deficiencies.
Their minds are one-sided, and marked with sad irregularities. They are
not too moral and affectionate, but are not sufficiently intellectual.
The same amount of culture which they have received would have conferred
more beauty and dignity to the character and life had it been more
general, or equally applied to the several powers of mind. Sound
judgment, pure life, dignity of character are the results of a balance
of power and culture in the several departments of mind. This difference
in the culture of the male and female mind has made a breach between the
sexes. The present male mind can not comprehend the female, nor the
female the male. Instead of growing up in similarity and harmony, they
have grown up into wide differences.
Our present men and women are not in harmony with each other. There are
cultivated antagonisms of mind between them. They can not see, feel, nor
think alike. Their lives are impregnated with a different spirit. And
this is one of the primary and fruitful sources of unhappiness in the
marriage relation. Men and women are so different in their cultivation
that they are not in their natural harmony. Our men are not natural men,
nor our women natural women. The nature of each is warped by culture,
and warped in different directions.
The male and female mind are not alike by nature, by any means. There is
a wide difference between them; but the difference is in the nature,
texture, and quality of the mind, and not in the relation of parts. The
female mind has an inherent constitution peculiar to itself that makes
it female; so with the male. This difference is beyond the fathoming
line of human thought. We know it exists, but wherefore and how we know
not. It is the secret of the Divine Constructor of mentality. In our
mental structure we are to seek for harmony, a consistent rhythmic
development of parts. The opportunities offered to woman for the
cultivation of her moral and religious nature are eminently favorable.
If her intellectual opportunities are not so good, her moral and
religious are better. She is not so pressed with temptation. The world
does not bear with such an Atlas burden on her conscience. The almighty
dollar does not eclipse so large a field of her mental vision. Material
pursuits do not check so much her spiritual progress. God is nearer to
her heart, more in her thoughts, sweeter in her soul, brighter in her
visions, because she is less compassed about by the snares of vice and
the hostile pursuits of the false and flattering world. It is a blessed
thing for humanity that woman is more religious and morally upright;
because man is too irreverent and base. He lacks the sanctity of high
morality and the consecration of religion. I speak of man in the mass.
Woman is the conservation of morality and religion. Her moral worth
holds man in some restraint and preserves his ways from becoming
inhumanly corrupt. Mighty is the power of woman in this respect. Every
virtue in woman's heart has its influence on the world. Some men feel
it. A brother, husband, friend, or son is touched by its sunshine. Its
mild beneficence is not lost. A virtuous woman in the seclusion of her
home, breathing the sweet influence of virtue into the hearts and lives
of its beloved ones, is an evangel of goodness to the world. She is one
of the pillars of the eternal kingdom of right. She is a star shining in
the moral firmament. She is a princess administering at the fountains of
life. Every prayer she breathes is answered to a greater or less extent
in the hearts and lives of those she loves. Her piety is an altar-fire
where religion acquires strength to go out on its merciful mission. We
can not over-estimate the utility and power of woman's moral and
religious character. The world would go to ruin without it. With all our
ministers and churches, and bibles and sermons, man would be a prodigal
without the restraint of woman's virtue and the consecration of her
religion. Woman first lays her hand on our young powers. She plants the
first seeds. She makes the first impressions; and all along through life
she scatters the good seed of the kingdom, and sprinkles the dews of her
piety. But woman does not do enough. Her power is not yet equal to its
need. Her virtue is not mighty enough. Her religion comes short in its
work. Look out and see the world--a grand Pandora's box of wickedness--a
great battle-field of clashing passions and warring interests--a
far-spread scene of sensualism and selfishness, in which woman herself
acts a conspicuous part. Look at society--the rich eating up the poor;
the poor stabbing at the rich; fashion playing in the halls of gilded
sensualism; folly dancing to the tune of ignorant mirth; intemperance
gloating over its roast beef, or whisky-jug, brandy punch, champagne
bottle, bearing thousands upon thousands down to the grave of ignominy,
sensualism, and drunkenness. Is there not a need of more vigorous virtue
in woman? Is there not a call for a more active religion, a more
powerful impulse in behalf of morality? Who shall heed this cry of
wicked, wasting humanity, if young woman does not? To youthful woman we
must look for a powerful leader in the cause of morality and religion.
The girls of to-day are to be greatly instrumental in giving a moral
complexion to the society of to-morrow. It is important that they should
fix high this standard of virtue. They ought to lay well their
foundations of religion. They ought early to baptize their souls in the
consecrated waters of truth and right.
I. The first element in their moral character which they should seek to
establish firmly is _purity_. A pure heart is the fountain of life. "The
pure in heart shall see God." Not only is purity of life needed to make
a young woman beautiful and useful, but purity in thought, feeling,
emotion, and motive. All within us that lies open to the gaze of God
should be pure. A young woman should be in heart what she seems to be in
life. Her words should correspond with her thoughts. The smile of her
face should be the smile of her heart. The light of her eye should be
the light of her soul. She should abhor deception; she should loathe
intrigue; she should have a deep disgust of duplicity. Her life should
be the outspoken language of her mind, the eloquent poem of her soul
speaking in rhythmic beauties the intrinsic merit of inward purity.
Purity antecedes all spiritual attainments and progress. It is the first
and fundamental virtue in a good character; it is the letter A in the
moral alphabet; it is the first step in the spiritual life; it is the
Alpha of the eternal state of soul which has no Omega. Whatever may be
our mental attainments or social qualities, we are nothing without
purity; only "tinkling cymbals." Our love is stained, our benevolence
corrupted, our piety a pretense which God will not accept. An impure
young woman is an awful sight. She outrages all just ideas of womankind,
all proper conceptions of spiritual beauty. To have evil imaginings,
corrupt longings, or deceitful propensities ought to startle any young
woman. To feel a disposition to sensuality, a craving for the glitter of
a worldly life, or a selfish ambition for unmerited distinction is
dangerous in the extreme. It is the exuding of impure waters from the
heart. Who feels such utterings within should beware. They are the
whisperings of an evil spirit, the temptations to sin and crime. If I
could speak to all the young women in the world, I would strive to utter
the intrinsic beauties and essential qualities of purity; I would seek
to illustrate it as the fountain of all that is great and good, all that
is spiritually grand and redeeming. There is no virtue, no spiritual
life, no moral beauty, no glory of soul, nor dignity of character
without purity.
To be pure is to be truthful, child-hearted, innocent of criminal desire
or thought, averse to wrong, in love with right, in harmony with
whatsoever is beautiful, good, and true. This state of the soul is
subject to cultivation. It may be made strong and active. By personal
effort, by constant watchfulness and striving, every young woman may be
pure; but she need not expect to be without. She must watch, and strive,
and pray if she would be pure. If she does not, she will become corrupt
before she is aware of it. The world will send into her heart its putrid
streams of influence to corrupt and debase it.
The second virtue she should cultivate is _benevolence_. Queen of
virtues, lovely star in the crown of life, bright and glorious image of
Him who is love, how beautiful is it in woman's heart! A woman without
benevolence is not a woman; she is only a deformed personality of
womanhood. In every heart there are many tendencies to selfishness, but
the spirit of benevolence counteracts them all. A hollow, cold,
graceless, ungodly thing is a heart without benevolence. In a world like
this, where we are all so needy and dependent, where our interests are
so interlocked, where our lives and hearts overlap each other, and often
grow together, we can not live without a good degree of benevolence. Our
true earth-life is a benevolent one. Our highest interests are in the
path of benevolence. We do most for ourselves when we do most for
others. "It is more blessed to give than to receive." Good deeds double
in the doing, and the larger half comes back to the doer. The most
benevolent soul lives nearest to God. A large heart of charity is a
noble thing. Selfishness is the root of evil; benevolence is its cure.
In no heart is benevolence more beautiful than in youthful woman's. In
no heart is selfishness more ugly. To do good is noble; to be good is
nobler. This should be the aim of all young women. The poor and needy
should occupy a large place in their hearts. The sick and suffering
should move upon their sympathies. The sinful and criminal should awaken
their deepest pity. The oppressed and down-trodden should find a large
place in their compassion. How blessed is woman on errands of mercy! How
sweet are her soothing words to the disconsolate! How consoling her
tears of sympathy to the mourning! How fresh her spirit of hope to the
discouraged! How soft her hand to the sick! How balmy the breath of her
love to the oppressed! Woman appears in one of her loveliest aspects
when she appears as the practical follower of Him who "went about doing
good." The young woman who does these works of practical benevolence is
educating her moral powers in the school of earnest and glorious life.
She is laying the foundations for a noble and useful womanhood. She is
planting the seeds of a charity that will grow to bless and save the
suffering of our fellow-men. In no other way can she so successfully
cultivate the virtue of benevolence. It is not enough that she pity the
sorrows of the poor and suffering. Her hand must be taught to heed the
pleadings of her pitying heart. What she feels, she must do. What she
wishes, she must make an effort to accomplish. What she prays for, she
must strive to attain. Everybody predicts a beautiful life from a
good-doing young woman.
Active and cheerful should be every young woman's efforts for the
needy. Thus will she make to herself a large heart of benevolence, and
draw around her a large circle of admiring and worthy friends.
The third virtue which the young woman should cultivate is _integrity,
or the sentiment of duty_. A German philosopher has poetically and
truthfully said, "The two most beautiful things in the universe are the
starry heavens above our heads and the sentiment of duty in the human
soul." Few objects are richer for the contemplation of a truly
high-minded man than a young woman who lives, acts, speaks, and exerts
her powers from an enlightened conviction of duty; in whose soul the
voice of duty is the voice of God. In such women there is a mighty force
of moral power. Though they may be gentle as the lamb, or retiring and
modest in their demeanor, there is in them what commands respect, what
enforces esteem. They are the strong women. The sun is not truer to his
course than they to theirs. They are reliable as the everlasting rocks.
Every day finds in them the same beautiful, steady, moral firmness. Men
look to them with a confidence that knows no doubt. They are fearless
and brave; they have but to know their duty to be ready to engage in it.
Though men laugh or sneer, though the world frown or threaten, they will
do it. There is no bravado in them; it is the simple power of integrity.
They are true to what to them seems right. Such spirits are often the
mildest and meekest we have. They are sweet as the flower, while they
are firm as the rock. We know them by their lives. They are consistent,
simple-hearted, uniform, and truthful. The word on the tongue is the
exact speech of the heart. The expression they wear is the spirit they
bear. Their parlor demeanor is their kitchen and closet manner. Their
courtesy abroad is their politeness at home. Their confiding converse is
such as the world may hear and respect them the more for it. Such are
the women of integrity. Men love to trust their fortunes in their hands.
The good love to gather around them for the blessing of their smiles;
they strew their pathway with moral light. They bless without effort;
they teach sentiments of duty and honesty in every act of their lives.
Such is the rectitude of character which every young woman should
cultivate. Nothing will more surely secure confidence and esteem. There
is especial need of such cultivation, for young women are doubted in
many respects more generally than any other class of people. Most people
seldom think of believing many things they hear from the lips of young
women, so little is genuine integrity cultivated among them. I am sorry
to make such a remark. I wish truth did not compel it.
I would that young women would cultivate the strictest regard for truth
in all things; in small as well as in important matters. Exaggeration or
false coloring is as much a violation of integrity as a direct
falsehood. Equivocation is often falsehood. Deception in all forms is
opposed to integrity. Mock manners, pretended emotions, affectation,
policy plans to secure attention and respect are all sheer falsehoods,
and in the end injure her who is guilty of them. Respect and affection
are the out-growth of confidence. She who secures the firmest
confidence will secure the most respect and love. No love is lasting but
that which rests in confidence. Confidence can only be secured by
integrity. The young woman with a high sense of duty will always secure
confidence, and having this, she will secure respect, affection, and
influence.
The fourth virtue of inestimable value which the young woman should
cultivate is _piety_. This may be regarded as the crown of all moral
virtues. It is that which sanctifies the rest. It is a heavenly sun in
the moral firmament, shedding a divine luster through the soul--a balmy,
hallowing light, sweeter than earth can give. Piety is the meek-eyed
maid of heaven, that holds her sister Faith in one hand and Hope in the
other, and looks upward with a confiding smile, saying, "My treasure is
above." Of all the influences wrought in the human soul, the work of
piety is the most harmonizing and divine. It subdues the flesh and the
world, and calls down Heaven to bless the happy pietist. It is the
constant, ever-speaking voice of the Father uttering in sublime and
beautiful impressions the holy eloquence of his everlasting love. It is
the communing ground of the mortal child with the immortal Parent. In
the mind of youthful woman it is as beautiful as it can be anywhere. And
when she consecrates all her powers by the laying on of its heavenly
hands, and sanctifies all her feelings by its hallowed influences, she
exhibits a view of beauty--of physical, moral, and spiritual beauty--not
elsewhere surpassed on earth. A deep, pervading, all-controlling piety
is the highest attainment of man on earth. It is that reverent, humble,
grateful, affectionate, and virtuous purity of spirit in which the human
and divine meet and embrace each other. It is the spiritual crown which
men put on when they go into the kingdom of heaven. This is what we urge
as the last and finishing excellency of the youthful female character.
The cultivation of this is what we press as conferring mortal perfection
of character, or as great perfection as frail, sinful creatures can put
on below "the mansions of the skies."
We urge it as the best and highest duty of every young woman--a duty she
owes to herself, her fellows, and her God--a duty as full of joys as the
heavens are of stars, and when performed, reflecting matchless grace
upon her soul. We do not urge it through fear of hell or hope of heaven;
we do not urge it from motives of policy; we urge it for its own
intrinsic worth; for the blessedness of being pious; for the excellency
and worth of character and life it confers. No character is complete
till it is swayed and elevated by genuine piety. No heart is fully happy
till it is imbued with the spirit of piety. No life is all it may and
should be till its motives are baptized in the waters of piety. No soul
is saved till it is transformed by the gracious spirit of this daughter
of the skies. This divine grace of the soul should be sought by every
young woman, and cultivated with the most assiduous care, for without it
she is destitute of the highest beauty and divinest charm and power of
womanhood.
II. Thus cultured and growing morally, the young woman should not forget
to develop her social nature by the hand of prudent culture. She is made
to love; not only to love one being, but all her fellows. Around kindred
spirits should be linked the chain of friendship, and this chain should
be kept bright by gentle and confiding usage. Nothing is more proper
than that young women should learn how to choose friends wisely.
Friendship and love are blind impulses. They need a guardian and guide.
Discretion should be that guide. It is natural for us to love what is
lovely; but as to what is lovely we often differ. What is lovely to one
is not always lovely to another. But there are qualities of mind and
heart that are intrinsically lovely, and about which there can be no
difference of opinion. What is virtuous, good, amiable, high-minded,
generous, self-sacrificing and pure, we all admire. What goes to make a
perfect character, a moralist, a Christian, a wise man or woman, is
agreeable to us all. Now this is what we should love. This is what we
should seek in our friends. It is not a beautiful person, or bland and
polite manners, or any thing that belongs to the exterior being that we
should love. It is inward worth and beauty--loveliness of spirit. Around
the soul should be woven the cords of friendship and love. The outward
is deceitful and perishing. The inward is true and lasting. Our
affections should be taught to fix themselves on the inward. Where we
see inward beauty, there we should fix the seal of our friendship. And
our affections should be taught to conform to this rule. No matter how
attractive the outward person, if inward attractions, such as worth,
wisdom, weight of character are wanting, we should not be moved to love.
The one grand rule is to let worth of mind, beauty of soul, fix our
affections in the social intercourse of life. Young women can not be too
particular in obeying this rule. Their moral and spiritual life, their
value in the world, their well-being and happiness depend upon it. If
their affections are not brought to act wisely, to cling to the good and
the true of soul, they will yield them untold misery. If they love the
good, the high of soul and large of heart, they will be happy,
inexpressibly happy in the action of their affections.
Lecture Eight.
EMPLOYMENT.
Employment a Duty--Powers Developed by Labor--All Females are not
Women--Dependence usually Ignoble--Adversity gives Strength--Girls
should have Trades--Self-reliance necessary to Women--Do Something
and Be Something--Riches no Excuse for Idleness--Employment gives
Activity and Strength--Labor considered Vulgar--Life is given for
Employment--Woman was Made for Usefulness.
I take it that men and women were made for business, for activity, for
employment. Activity is the life of us all. To do and to bear is the
duty of life. We know that Employment makes the man in a very great
measure. A man with no Employment, nothing to do, is scarcely a man. The
secret of making men is to put them to work, and keep them at it. It is
not study, not instruction, not careful moral training, not good
parents, nor good society that makes men. These are means; but back of
these lies the grand molding influence of men's life. It is Employment.
A man's business does more to make him than every thing else. It hardens
his muscles, strengthens his body, quickens his blood, sharpens his
mind, corrects his judgment, wakes up his inventive genius, puts his
wits to work, starts him on the race of life, arouses his ambition,
makes him feel that he is a man and must fill a man's shoes, do a man's
work, bear a man's part in life, and show himself a man in that part. No
man feels himself a man who is not doing a man's business. A man without
Employment is not a man. He does not prove by his works that he is a
man. He can not act a man's part. A hundred and fifty pounds of bone and
muscle is not a man. A good cranium full of brains is not a man. The
bone and muscle and brain must know how to act a man's part, do a man's
work, think a man's thoughts, mark out a man's path, and bear a man's
weight of character and duty before they constitute a man. A man is a
body and soul in action. A statue if well dressed may _appear_ to be a
man; so may a human being. But to _be_ a man and _appear_ to be are two
very different things. Human beings _grow_; men are _made_. The being
that grows to the stature of a man is not a man till he is made one. The
grand instrumentality of man-making is Employment. The world has long
since learned that men can not be made without Employment. Hence it sets
its boys to work--gives them trades, callings, professions--puts the
instruments of man-making into their hands and tells them to work out
their manhood. And the most of them do it somehow; not always very well.
The men who fail to make themselves a respectable manhood are the boys
who are put to no business, the young men who have nothing to do, the
male beings that have no Employment. We have them about us--walking
nuisances--pestilential gas-bags--fetid air-bubbles, who burst and are
gone. Our men of wealth and character, of worth and power, have been
early bound to some useful Employment. Many of them were unfortunate
orphan boys, whom want compelled to work for bread--the children of
penury and lowly birth. In their early boyhood they buckled on the armor
of labor, took upon their little shoulders heavy burdens, assumed
responsibilities, met fierce circumstances, contended with sharp
opposition, chose the ruggedest paths of Employment because they yielded
the best remuneration, and braved the storms of toil till they won great
victories for themselves and stood before the world in the beauty and
majesty of noble manhood. This is the way men are made. There is no
other way. Their powers are developed in the field of Employment.
Men are not born; they are made. Genius, worth, power of mind are more
made than born. Genius born may grovel in the dust; genius made will
mount to the skies. Our great and good men that stand along the paths of
history bright and shining lights are witnesses of these truths. They
stand there as everlasting pleaders for Employment. Now what is true of
men in this respect is equally true of women. If Employment is the
instrumentality in making men, it is equally so in making women. A human
female is not a woman till she makes herself so. There is something
noble, glorious, in a woman. She is the impersonation of spiritual
beauty. But all females are not women. There are scores of them who are
only female humanities; and scores more who are only _ladies_. A lady
and a woman are two very different things. One is made at the hands of
fashion; the other is the handiwork of God through the instrumentality
of useful Employment. A lady is a parlor ornament, a walking
show-gallery, a mistress of tongue-tied etiquette. A woman is a
consecrated intelligence--a love baptized--a hand employed in the work
of good. To be a woman requires exertion and prudence. Women are not
born; neither do they grow up of themselves; they are made. Their
virtues blossom in the garden of industry. Their fruits ripen on the
boughs of toil. Their treasures grow on the tree of labor. A woman with
nothing to do can not develop a truthful womanhood. A woman with no
Employment for her hands or mind can be only the shadow of a woman. What
is noble in her will doff its nobility. What is strong will become weak,
and she will soon be an imbecile dependent on some one else.
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