Aims and Aids for Girls and Young Women

G >> George Sumner Weaver >> Aims and Aids for Girls and Young Women

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Still another duty presses upon Girlhood. It relates to a livelihood, to
the practical work of pushing its way through life. Woman must eat,
wear, be sheltered, educated, protected, warmed, and amused, as much as
any other human being. She can not be thus supplied except by charity or
her own labor. It is degrading to accept of all life's necessities at
the hand of charity. No woman possessed of a genuine womanly character
will do it. The character would forbid that she should do it. She must
then be independent, or as much so as any are. She must have some
livelihood. She must not only have a good character and good health, but
an ability to do something for herself and others. Both character and
health would be of little avail if she was a shiftless, homeless,
useless know-nothing in relation to all the great activities of life, by
which we secure the necessaries and comforts of our existence. It is
through useful industry and labor that the rarest beauties and forces of
character shine. Men show themselves great and good in their professions
and callings. The man whose hands are taught no skill, who is trained to
no profession, is a ninny, or nearly so. Why is not a woman who is
equally useless? Characters must have some way to embody themselves in
an outward form to be of service to the world. The best way is in
devotion to some useful calling or profession, by which our powers may
be called upon for their best efforts in a direction that shall promise
a full reward for ourselves and a good surplus for our fellow-men.

Lecture Two.

BEAUTY.

God a Lover of Beauty--Every thing in the Universe Beautiful--The
Admirer of Beauty should Reverence its Author--The Love of Beauty
elevating in its Tendency--Its Abuses Fearful--Man a Part of Nature,
and God in all--Woman the most Perfect Type of Beauty--Youthful
Woman exposed to great Temptation--Beauty a Charming, but Dangerous
Gift--The most Beautiful should be the most Pious--Beauty of Person
Worthless without Loveliness of Character--"Strong-minded" Women not
Beautiful--Beauty the Nurse of Vanity--Value of Character
depreciates with Increase of Beauty when substituted for Moral
Worth--Beauty only Skin-deep--Beauty Two-fold: Inward and
Outward--Inward Beauty shines through--Beauty of Soul made
Washington, Josephine, and Channing glorious--Every Woman may be
Beautiful--Cheerfulness, Agreeable Manners, a Correct Taste, and
Kindness should be Cultivated.

We doubt not that God is a lover of Beauty. We speak reverently. He
fashioned the worlds in Beauty, when there was no eye to behold them but
his own. All along the wild old forest he has carved the forms of
Beauty. Every cliff, and mountain, and tree is a statue of Beauty. Every
leaf, and stem, and vine, and flower is a form of Beauty. Every hill,
and dale, and landscape is a picture of Beauty. Every cloud, and
mist-wreath, and vapor-vail is a shadowy reflection of Beauty. Every
spring and rivulet, lakelet, river, and ocean, is a glassy mirror of
Beauty. Every diamond, and rock, and pebbly beach is a mine of Beauty.
Every sun, and planet, and star is a blazing face of Beauty. All along
the aisles of earth, all over the arches of heaven, all through the
expanses of the universe, are scattered in rich and infinite profusion
the life-gems of Beauty. All natural motion is Beauty in action. The
winds, the waves, the clouds, the trees, the birds, the animals, all
move beautifully; and beautifully do the joyous light-words of the skies
dance their eternal cotillion of glory. From the mote that plays its
little frolic in the sunbeam, to the world that blazes along the
sapphire spaces of the firmament, are visible the ever-varying features
of the enrapturing spirit of Beauty. All this great realm of dazzling
and bewildering beauty was made by God. What shall we say then, is he
not a lover of Beauty? Is it irreverence thus to speak? No; but rather
reverence. What reverent soul does not love to look at God in his works?
Go out in the still morning, when the golden gates of day are turning
slowly back to let the morning king come in with a great crown of rosy
light streaking half around the heavens, on his brow; or at noon, when
the whole firmament and the joyous earth are bathed in a golden flood,
soft, and warm, and life-inspiring; or at evening, when even the zephyrs
are folding up their wings with the little birds, and the trees, and the
fields, and the smiling mountain tops are bidding a sweet good-night to
their heavenly king as encurtained in diamond glory he sinks to rest; or
at night, when the stars come out to keep their vigils over the sleeping
earth; go out at such times, and what heart is not bewildered with the
sense of Beauty that steals over it like a divine charm? and through
that beauty is not carried up to God the beautiful and bountiful author
of it all? God hath made every thing beautiful in its time. I envy not
him who is undevout in the presence of so much Beauty. How easily can
the devout spirit go through nature up to nature's God. Who loves nature
should love God. Who admires Beauty should reverence its Author. Natural
beauty inspires piety in a good heart. To commune with nature
intelligently is to commune with God. Who ever loves a flower, a bird, a
landscape view, a rainbow, a star, the blue sky, should love God. God is
in them all. He is in the aisles of the forest, the waves of the deep,
the solitudes of the mountain, and the fragrance of the green fields.
Beauty is of divine origin, and we should admire, ay, and love it too.
It should fill us with sweet thoughts of God, with worshipful emotions,
with reverent aspirings. The love of Beauty we should cultivate within
us as a gift of the good Father, and a shrine at which we may worship
him acceptably. He has not given us this delicate sense of Beauty to be
neglected. It is our duty to preserve it well and cultivate it
diligently. None of us love Beauty too much, if our love is enlightened
and devout. He who has no love of Beauty in his soul is a great way from
God, and very near the earth, the animal. The love of Beauty is refining
and elevating in its tendency. Yet it is too often indulged without a
thought of God or a reverent emotion. It is a love which may be united
with earthly desires, or with heavenly aspirations. It may lead us
downward or upward, according to the use we make of it. It may pander to
pride and vanity, lust and appetite, or inspire to virtue, religion, and
inward life. It is a love which should be brought within the sphere of
moral government as much as the passions of our lower nature. It is a
love, too, which perhaps leads as many astray, corrupts as many lives,
degrades as many natures, as almost any feeling we possess. Its abuses
are fearful in their character and wide in their influence. It is a
power of mind lovely to behold, and even when degraded it is like a
diamond in the dust. So far as the love of natural things is concerned,
there is but little danger of abuse. Nature is always lovely, and always
to be admired. She always reminds us of God and our duty; always teaches
us our own littleness and frailty, and works upon all our passions a
calming subduing influence.

But we may pass from Beauty in nature to Beauty in man. Strictly
speaking, man is a part of nature; but by common usage we often speak of
nature as distinct from both God and man. Really, man is a part of
nature, and God is in it all. Take God away from his works, and where
would they be? They would vanish like a body deprived of its soul. Take
God out of a flower, and it would wither and vanish in an instant. Take
God out of a sun or star, and they would go out as a candle in the wind.
Take God out of any thing--a tree, an animal, a man--and it would cease
to be. So take God out of nature, and there would be no nature. Not that
nature is God, but that there is no nature without God. God is in all
things; he pervades, sustains, and moves all things. The laws of nature,
of which we often speak, are the arteries and veins which God has made,
along which he pours through the great body of his universe the spirit
of his infinite being. Man, then, as a part of this nature, is pervaded
by God. And here, as elsewhere, he has shown his presence in the
surprising Beauty in which he has made his creatures. Yes, man is
beautiful; the natural man, undeformed by abuses, is an object of
Beauty. We speak of man in the generic sense, as including women also.

Woman, by common consent, we regard as the most perfect type of Beauty
on earth. To her we ascribe the highest charms belonging to this
wonderful element so profusely mingled in all God's works. Her form is
molded and finished in exquisite delicacy of perfection. The earth gives
us no form more perfect, no features more symmetrical, no style more
chaste, no movements more graceful, no finish more complete; so that our
artists ever have and ever will regard the woman-form of humanity as the
most perfect earthly type of Beauty. This form is most perfect and
symmetrical in the youth of womanhood; so that youthful woman is earth's
queen of Beauty. This is true, not only by the common consent of
mankind, but also by the strictest rules of scientific criticism.

This being an admitted fact, woman, and especially youthful woman, is
laid under strong obligations and exposed to great temptations. Beauty
has wonderful charms, and hence it is a dangerous gift. We did not make
ourselves physically beautiful. Another hand than ours molded our forms,
tinged our faces with the vermilion of life, colored our hair and eyes,
bleached our teeth and touched our bodies with that exquisite finish
which we call Beauty. Another being than ourselves gave us that
mysterious power of mind by which we discern and are charmed by Beauty.
Then if Beauty hath charms, if it is a possession which we value, we are
under peculiar obligations to its Giver. "Every good and perfect gift
cometh down from the Father of lights." This is one. A charming gift
conferred for pleasure and profit. Who possesses it should be grateful.
Who revels in its charms should be reverent in praise, pure in heart,
holy in life, devout in demeanor, beautiful in character. She who is
most beautiful should be most moved to a pious character and a useful
life. She whose dwelling God hath wrought into the rich fullness of
Beauty almost divine, who is spread over with a profusion of charms
which no eye can behold without ecstasy, is ungrateful and mean in
spirit if she returns not to God the "Beauty of holiness" in her life.

Beauty will not only win for her admiring eyes, but it will win her
favor; it will draw _hearts_ toward her; it will awaken tender and
agreeable feelings in her behalf; it will disarm the stranger of the
peculiar prejudices he often has toward those he knows not; it will pave
the way to esteem; it will weave the links to friendship's chain; it
will throw an air of agreeableness into the manners of all who approach
her. All this her Beauty will do for her before she puts forth a single
effort of her own to win the esteem and love of her fellows. All this is
the direct, immediate, and agreeable result of a gift from her Father in
heaven. How, than, should she feel toward that Father? With what noble
gifts of gratitude and love should she seek to repay Him for this rich
inheritance of Beauty! How useful, how lovely in spirit should she be!
how thankful, how pious, how virtuous, how rich in inward charms! These
are what God asks in return. Think of it, young women, as it really is.
See God clothing your forms with Beauty, rich and ravishing in its
charms; see that Beauty winning for you flowery paths of life, softening
all hearts that approach you, making it easy, ay, almost a necessity,
for them to love and esteem you; think how much you prize it, and how
pleasant it is to your friends; and then think what God asks in return
for this lovely gift. It is that you should be beautiful inwardly as He
has made you outwardly; that you should be grateful, dutiful, merciful,
pure in heart and life, meek, loving, useful, and pious. Does He ask
more than what is reasonable? Can you do less than to love Him for the
rich endowments he has bestowed upon you, less than to obey his
commands, imitate his character, seek instruction from his Son, and be
kind and good to his children?

How can you look upon your own forms or see your features in a mirror,
without thinking of Him who made you thus? How can you look upon any
thing beautiful, or contemplate the sense of Beauty within you, without
reverent feelings toward God the Giver of all?

What does your Beauty avail you unless you are beautiful in spirit,
lovely in character, useful in life? Ah, it is only a mockery, calling
reproaches upon you from all the good, and the reproof of Heaven for
your ingratitude! One of the most unpleasant, if we may not say hateful,
objects in the world, is a cold, vain, heartless, beautiful woman.

I said that Beauty is a dangerous gift. It is even so. Like wealth, it
has ruined its thousands. Thousands of the most beautiful women are
destitute of common sense and common humanity. No gift from Heaven is so
general and so widely abused by woman as the gift of Beauty. In about
mine cases in ten it makes her silly, senseless, thoughtless, giddy,
vain, proud, frivolous, selfish, low, and mean. I think I have seen more
girls spoiled by Beauty than by any other one thing. "She is beautiful,
and she knows it," is as much as to say she is spoiled. A beautiful girl
is very likely to believe she was made to be looked at; and so she sets
herself up for a show at every window, in every door, on every corner of
the street, in every company at which opportunity offers for an
exhibition of herself. And believing and acting thus, she soon becomes
good for nothing else; and when she comes to be a middle-aged woman she
is that weakest, most sickening of all human things--a faded Beauty.

It has long since passed into a proverb, that homely women are good,
that plain women have strong common sense. An eminent writer asks, "Who
ever saw a handsome talented woman?" There is among us a class of
"strong-minded women," brave of heart and deep of soul, high of purpose
and pure of life, who are stirring the country from heart to
circumference by the sterling powers of womanhood which they possess,
and there is not "a beauty" among them. There is a large class of female
writers in every enlightened country, over the productions of whose
genius the world hangs delighted, but there is not "a beauty" wields the
magic pen. There are women engaged in great enterprises of benevolence
and piety, reformers, missionaries, teachers who labor and live for the
causes in which they are engaged, but scarcely a beauty can be found
among them all. But why? Is Beauty uncongenial to talent and worth? By
no means. But Beauty is a dangerous gift, and few beautiful women ever
seek to develop their minds--ever seek to be any thing more than they
are. Worth is _made_, not _given_; Beauty is _given_, not _made_. Women
who have no Beauty make worth. Those who have Beauty are satisfied with
that, and seldom make for themselves much worth. The world has paid
court to Beauty, and Beauty has foolishly become satisfied with itself,
and been willing to be wooed and petted till it has become the weakest
of all weak things. I heard of a man of brilliant talents who is said to
have been ruined by the possession of a beautiful head, adorned with a
beautiful covering of hair. He was a minister of the Gospel, and
entered upon his sacred office with a bright promise of usefulness. He
was so much enamored of his own head, that when he walked the street he
carried his hat in his hand much of the way, apparently to wipe his
forehead, or in seeming thoughtfulness, yet all the while to show his
pretty head to the people he met. This weakness soon permeated his whole
character, and rendered it vain, imbecile, trifling, and ignoble. In a
little while he died a ministerial death--and died of nothing but a
beautiful head. God had richly endowed him with brilliant qualities of
mind and great beauty of person, and he returned only vanity and
weakness for these gifts. Oh, how weak is man! Die of Beauty! Die a
moral death, or live a useless, foolish life because he is wickedly vain
of God's gifts! Beauty is full often the nurse of vanity, and vanity is
the bane of womanhood. I am sorry to say it, and more sorry because it
is so. It is a pity that so lovely a gift from the Hand Divine should be
so wickedly perverted. Beauty ought to inspire rather than weaken its
possessor, ought to elevate rather than depress her. And it would, if
woman-life was rightly appreciated, if the woman-soul was rightly
taught, and the woman-heart of humanity rightly awakened to its grand
capacities and duties. Woman is not alone to blame for this strange and
wicked fire kindled on the altar of Beauty. Man is as guilty as she. He
has praised Beauty and foolishly smiled upon it. He has chosen it for
his companion. He has passed by worth in search of Beauty. So he has
helped women to be vain and trifling. He has not sought to ennoble her
heart so much as to weaken it with flatteries. And he together with her
has suffered as a consequence. Man and woman rise and fall together.
What injures or benefits one does the same to the other.

Take fifty of the most beautiful young ladies that any town affords, and
put them in one company. You would of course have the belles of the
town. What would they talk about? What would they think about? What
would they do? They are as richly endowed with mind as any other fifty
girls in town, but how would they show it? Only in an exhibition of
their personal beauty. You know, young women, that common sense would
have to play "hide-and-seek" in that company. You know that follies and
trifles, fooleries, fashions, foibles, and failings, would occupy their
whole minds. Then let fifty of the young men with whom they are in the
habit of associating enter into their company, and what an exhibition of
Beauty and display would follow! Not one of them would try so much to
show her good sense as her pretty face. Let good sense sit back and look
on, and methinks it would be not a little disgusted.

Take fifty of the plainest young women from the same circles in our
town, and place them under similar circumstances, and, if I mistake not,
their behavior would be much more genteel and becoming, their
conversation much more interesting and intelligent, and their feelings
much more refined and noble. Am I wrong in this supposition? If I am
wrong, I have read woman-life to a poor purpose.

I have often seen sisters, one of whom was plain and the other handsome,
and almost invariably I have found the plain one more sensible and kind,
less vain and frivolous. Indeed, I have generally found value of
character to depreciate with increase of Beauty.

Why is it so? Is Beauty connected with less natural endowments of mind,
less kindness of heart? By no means. Is Beauty an evil in itself
considered? By no means. Is it morally corrupting? Not of itself. The
fault is with those who possess it. They abuse the lovely gift. They
attempt to make it answer in the place of good sense. They weigh it
against goodness of heart, and find it woefully wanting. They substitute
it for moral worth, put it in the place of refinement of manners, try to
make it win for them the esteem and love which can be given only to a
cultivated and noble spirit. And for all these purposes it utterly
fails. Besides this abuse of it, they usually become vain, proud, silly,
and frivolous. It need not be so, but it generally is so. I have often
noticed that people are not generally so vain of their own attainments
as they are of the gifts of God. A beautiful woman is more vain of her
beauty than she is of her personal attainments. A talented man is more
likely to be vain of his natural talents than of the culture he has
given them. A rich singer is more likely to be vain of his voice than of
what he has done to train it. So it is generally; we are more apt to be
vain of what God does for us than of what we do for ourselves. It is so
with the possessor of personal Beauty, and hence beautiful women are so
tempted to vanity and a neglect of all useful culture of mind and heart.
They think their Beauty will carry them through the world, and they need
not strive for worth of character; they may neglect the ordinary means
of culture and improvement, forgetting that a good heart, a true life, a
cultivated mind, and a noble soul can have no possible substitutes;
forgetting that Beauty will soon fade, that nothing makes old age
beautiful but worth, and that another life succeeds this that Beauty of
body can not enter, and in which Beauty of soul is honored and cherished
as of eternal worth.

These facts have long since taught sensible men to beware of beautiful
women--to sound them carefully before they give them their confidence.
Beauty is shallow--only skin-deep; fleeting--only for a few years'
reign; dangerous--tempting to vanity and lightness of mind;
deceitful--dazzling often to bewilder; weak--reigning only to ruin;
gross--leading often to sensual pleasure. And yet we say it need not be
so. Beauty is lovely, and ought to be innocently possessed. It has
charms which ought to be used for good purposes. It is a delightful
gift, which ought to be received with gratitude and worn with grace and
meekness. It should always minister to inward Beauty. Every woman of
beautiful form and features should cultivate a beautiful mind and heart.

Beauty is two-fold. It is inward and outward. We have been speaking of
outward Beauty. We would now dwell upon inward Beauty--Beauty of spirit,
soul, mind, heart, life. There is a Beauty which perishes not. It is
such as the angels wear. It forms the whitewashed robes of the saints.
It wreathes the countenance of every doer of good. It adorns every
_honest_ face. It shines in the _virtuous_ life. It molds the hands of
_charity_. It sweetens the voice of sympathy. It sparkles on the brow of
wisdom. It flashes in the eye of love. It breathes in the spirit of
piety. It is the Beauty of the heaven of heavens--the Beauty of God and
his Son--the Beauty of "eternal life," "incorruptible, undefiled, and
that fadeth not away." It is not a meteor flashing to deceive; not a
glow-worm, shining to fade; not a glitter, leading to bewilder; not a
charm, working to tempt. No. It is positive, real, lovely, delightful,
glorious, and eternal. It is the life of goodness, the spirit of love,
the brilliance of virtue. It is that which may grow by the hand of
culture in every human soul. It is the flower of the spirit which
blossoms on the tree of life. Every soul may plant and nurture it in its
own garden, in its own Eden. It is Eden renewed--Paradise regained.
Every one may have an Eden--a garden of Eden in his own soul. That is
where the first garden was. It is where the second must be. And that
second when complete will be heaven. This is the capacity for Beauty
that God has given to the human soul, and this the Beauty placed within
the reach of us all. We may all be beautiful. Though our forms may be
uncomely and our features not the prettiest, our spirits may be
beautiful. And this inward beauty always shines through. A beautiful
heart will flash out in the eye. A lovely soul will glow in the face. A
sweet spirit will tune the voice and wreathe the countenance in charms.
Oh, there is a power in interior Beauty that melts the hardest hearts! I
see it in a mother's love; I see it in a sister's tenderness; I see it
in the widow's mite of charity; in the wife's bosom of burning
truthfulness; in the devotion of the saint; in the strong purpose, the
noble resolve, the dauntless ambition for good. I see it in the
affectionate home, the congenial companionship, in the trusting heart of
friendship, and most of all in the Christian spirit and life. How this
beauty wins us, charms us, ravishes our souls. Our hardness all melts
before it. Could Washington come here, and we all stand up in his
presence, how we should forget the Beauty or ugliness of our forms, and
all be moved by the grand and eternal Beauty of his spirit! Could
Josephine, the empress of the French, stand in our presence, how the
plumes of our vanity would come down and the lightness of our frivolity
depart before the charms of her wisdom and virtue! Could the matchless
Mrs. Hemans rise before us in her peerless Beauty of soul, how little
should we prize the fleeting Beauty of these mortal bodies, and how
ashamed should we be of our foolish pride and thoughtlessness! Could we
invite before us the departed Channing, Mayo, Weare, and gaze for one
little moment at the effulgence of virtue and goodness that made them
the charmed centers of their wide circles of influence and usefulness,
how mean should we feel that we ever thought so much of our pretty forms
and faces, and so little of that Beauty which is a fadeless power and a
glorious life in the soul! It was not Beauty of person that made these
men and women so glorious in their day, and so grand in the memories of
the generations that follow them. It was Beauty of soul. So all about us
we have men and women who are living charms in their families and in
their circles of associations; but it is not their Beauty of person that
makes them so. It is another Beauty, inward, living, powerful, which
charges their wisdom, sweetens their actions with love, and tempers
their lives with piety. Oh, how lovely it makes them! We gaze upon them
with reverence. We never once think of their outward Beauty. No, it
would be sacrilege to do so. They have a higher Beauty. We see it
playing on their faces; we feel it in the charm of their presence, and
hear it in the music of their voices. It is the Beauty of virtue,
wisdom, goodness, magnanimity, meekness, piety. There is a cultured
finish in their actions, a refined sweetness in their manners, a
chastened delicacy and power in their lives which give them their
Beauty.

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