Ting a ling

F >> Frank Richard Stockton >> Ting a ling

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When our party emerged into the open plain, it was night; but as the
stars were quite bright, Tur-il-i-ra, carrying his smaller friends, and
with his good club over his shoulder, took his way toward his castle.
They had not travelled far before daylight appeared, and very soon
afterward they saw in the distance what seemed to be a mighty army
coming toward them. As it drew nearer, they perceived the glittering
spears and the flags, and heard the sounds of drum and horn. This great
multitude was nothing more than two or three hundred thousand of the
inhabitants of the city of the mighty King, who were marching upon the
stronghold of Mahbracca.

During the Prince's hurried visit to the city, he had freely told the
few persons with whom he had conversed of the place of imprisonment of
the Princess; and after he had left, the story spread rapidly.

At last the excitement became so great that it ended in a grand revolt.
The Prime Minister was seized and imprisoned, and the palace was
searched; and when it was found that the Princess was indeed gone, the
whole city put full faith in the Prince's story, and all who could bear
arms, or play music, and could possibly leave home, formed themselves
into a great army, and started off for the cave of Mahbracca. They
travelled bravely until they neared the hollow mountain, and hoped soon
to destroy the wicked Mahbracca if they found that she was still alive,
as the Prince had reported.

As they approached the Giant, some of the vanguard recognized Trumkard,
and others remembered having seen the Prince before; and then when the
Princess raised her head, as the Giant gently held her on his arm,
thousands of the nearest of the army set up a great shout,--"The
Princess! the Princess!"

Then came a rush, in which the Giant might have had even his mighty legs
taken from under him, had he not, with the presence of mind for which he
was noted, mounted, at a bound, a tolerably high rock, and, waving his
hand for silence, demanded that the people should gather round and
listen to him. He then made a speech which met with the greatest
attention. He told the people everything that had happened on this
adventure, and, having such a loud voice, they all heard what he had to
say. He related the remarkable fate of Mahbracca, and advised his
hearers to forget their wrath against her, as she must, for the rest of
her life, be harmless, and to conduct the Princess back to the mighty
city, and there to establish her in whatever rights she possessed, that
is, if it were proved she had any at all. He also spoke in the highest
terms of the Prince, and recommended his old friend Trumkard to their
kindest consideration. When he had finished, the whole multitude
applauded rapturously for some time, and in the midst of it all, he
delivered up his proteges to the guardianship of the Head-man, who
immediately had the Prince and Trumkard mounted upon magnificent
chargers, and the Princess was placed in a palanquin of white silk,
embroidered with diamonds, which had been brought on purpose for her, in
case they had had the good fortune to find her.

The Giant was then about to leave them; but as the citizens would not
hear of this, and as he was a rare good fellow, and did not object to
festivities, he was persuaded to go with them. As they had no horse big
enough for him, he walked.

The procession was then formed for the return march. First of all rode
the Head-man, with a sword in one hand and a golden horn in the other.
Then marched the professors of music. After them came all those of the
army who could play on the trumpet; then the guard of honor, with the
Prince and Princess; then Trumkard and the Giant, and after them the
immense host that could carry their weapons in one hand, and play upon
the drum with the other. When they started, the drums were all beaten,
the trumpets all blown, the horses neighed, the spears glittered, the
banners flapped and fluttered, and there was never so brave an army in
the world.

From all the hills, and plains, and valleys, the people came flocking to
see them as they passed. The enthusiasm was so great, that when night
came on again, enormous bonfires were lighted on both sides of their
road, and kept up with such hearty good-will, that they travelled all
night in a light as bright as day; and when the wood gave out, the
peasants tore down their cottages, and threw them on the flames.

As they proceeded, the professors of music composed marches, and when
one was finished, they gave the manuscript to the Head-man, who,
commanding silence, blew the tune on his horn, and then the whole army
struck up and played it grandly. Of these, the "Giant's Grand March" was
the best. It was what might be called good, loud music. If it had
thundered, it is not likely that it would have been heard in the grand
final burst, when all the drums and trumpets beat and blew their very
loudest.

The Giant himself played in this march; for some of those who marched
near him, seeing that he had no instrument, asked him if he would not
like to play upon something. To which he replied that he did not care if
he did. So they got for him the largest bass-drum. He was much pleased
at this, and handing his club to two hundred porters, who accompanied
the expedition, he beat away upon his drum in good style. This
performance did not last long, however; for the first time they played
the grand final burst, he beat on both drum-heads at the same time, and
of course there was no more music from him. The people around him were
very glad of this; for while he played, he became so much excited that
he did not see where he was walking, and was continually treading upon
some one. So they journeyed with joy and gladness until they reached the
city of the mighty King, and all the people who had been left behind
came out to meet them. Bells were rung, and all kinds of music played,
and the people shouted, so that the oldest inhabitant never knew such a
noise and excitement before. They entered the city, and the procession
halted at the palace. Here the Princess, after embracing the Prince, was
conducted to the ladies' apartments, where her friends were so overjoyed
at seeing her again, that one would have thought that they would never
have got over it. The Prince, Trumkard, and the Giant were each shown to
sumptuous apartments, and that night everybody in the palace had as much
of everything good as they could eat.

Twelve o'clock of the next day was the time appointed for the Princess
to make trial of the magical music. The great hall of the palace was
fitted up most magnificently, and with the utmost rapidity, for this
great occasion. The chairs of the judges were covered with new velvet,
and nothing was omitted that could add to the regal splendor of the
hall. At half-past ten the doors were opened, and the hall was
immediately filled in every part, but the small portion reserved for the
principal actors in the ceremony. There were nine galleries, one above
the other, around this truly immense room; and when it was all packed
full of people from floor to dome, it was a wonderful spectacle indeed.

At ten minutes of twelve, the procession entered the great hall. First
came, along the centre passage, which was covered with cloth of gold, a
number of beautiful boys, who strewed the way with hyacinths, and
jasmines, and the costly blossoms of the century plant. After them were
others, with golden water-pots, who sprinkled attar of roses before the
Princess, who, dressed in the purest white silk, cut bias, and trimmed
with pink fur, was escorted by the Prince. After them came the Prime
Minister (released for the occasion), the nobles, etc., and the
procession was closed by the guards of the palace, all dressed in blue
and covered with diamonds. There was no music, nor scarcely any sound
whatever, as they moved toward the judges, who were already sitting
solemnly in their chairs. When the procession reached them, it halted,
and the Princess was conducted to a chair in front of the music. Then
the youngest judge arose, and uncovered the magical music.

In all that hall, filled with such a multitude, there was breathless
silence. It was so still that the little mice came out of their holes,
thinking there was no one there.

Then the Princess, timidly raising her eyes, ran them over the music,
and began. It commenced softly and somewhat sadly, but soon, becoming
louder and richer, the tones swelled high and clear, until the pure
voice of the Princess thrilled through all the perfumed air. Then it
became more and more glorious, until its beatific beauty caused many of
the older hearers to die, and go straight to paradise. The close was
inconceivably sweet; and when the last notes died away, the people bowed
their heads in tearful peace, and all evil left their hearts, and to
many of them it never returned.

As they raised their heads, they saw the oldest judge arise and point
with his golden wand to the marble tablet. The characters of the music
had disappeared, and the vellum on which they had been written was as
white as snow. There was no need of any further decision. The judges
descended from their chairs in profound silence, and the oldest and the
youngest, each taking the Princess by the hand, led her up the steps to
the throne, and seated her upon it. Then the Prime Minister took the
crown from its velvet cushion, and placed it on her head, and, turning
to the people, said in a voice which sounded in the stillness to all
parts of the vast building, "Behold your Queen!"

Then, as one man, that great multitude gave such a sudden, wild,
tremendous shout, that it took the roof right off the top of the house,
and the wood that fell in every direction outside, was enough to keep
the poor people in kindling-wood all winter.

The Giant, whirling his iron helmet around his head, now led off, with a
thundering "Hip, hip, hurra!" in three cheers for the Queen. And three
_such_ cheers!

The dense crowd outside took them up, and shook the very foundations of
the city with their shouts; and the country people, and those at a great
distance, heard the joyful sounds, and before many minutes the whole
country, for miles around, reverberated with cheers for the new-made
Queen.

[Illustration]

As for the palace, it shook and trembled with the thunders of applause,
still led by the Giant, who couldn't be stopped. The people about him
were all struck deaf in the ear nearest him, but the ear-doctors cured
them all for nothing, when they got outside, so full of charity was
every one. At last, when every one, the Giant and all, were hoarse with
shouting, the Prime Minister offered his hand to the Queen, and led her
down from the throne. Then she motioned to the Prince to give her his
arm; and at the head of the procession, he led her to the royal
apartments, at the door of which he left her. The multitude then
dispersed, and they spent the rest of that day in putting right the
wrongs they had committed, and in making provision for future virtue.
When the Queen had taken some refreshment, she put on an every-day
crown, and repaired to the audience chamber to receive the visits of the
various dignitaries of the kingdom, who came before her, and brought her
their keys, and papers, and account-books. Giving each one back his
keys, and ordering the papers and accounts to be deposited in a great
pile on one side, where she might look over them at her leisure, she
reappointed every man to the office he held before, and sent them away
rejoicing. Then she called for writing materials and slaves, and
commenced writing notes to the Prince. She would write one on gilded
vellum, and, folding it, would hand it to the slave next to her, who
dipped it in frankincense, and handed it to the next one, who sprinkled
it with attar of roses, and passed it to the next, who ran with it as
hard as ever he could to the Prince. For in that kingdom it was not
considered proper for lovers to visit much.

This performance the Queen kept up all the afternoon, writing as fast as
she could, and only stopping long enough to read the answers which the
slaves brought her as they returned. At last, they came back, bringing
with them her last notes unopened, saying that the Prince had gone to
sleep. At which intelligence she shed some tears, but then, like a
sensible Queen, had her supper, and went to bed.

The next day the marriage of the Queen and the Prince took place, and it
was a glorious affair indeed. Twenty-four historians were appointed by
the Crown to write the history of it; they were paid by the quarter, and
it took them a long time, I can assure you.

The whole of the wedding-day, the festivities were kept up, and all the
eating, and drinking, and merry-making, was at the royal expense. During
the day and night everybody spent, and gave away to the poor, all the
wealth they possessed, and in the morning it was all paid back to them
by the royal Treasurer. In the country, the people feasted grandly on
their own herds, and drank up their own wines, and they were also
reimbursed by the Crown.

But the great feature of the royal marriage was the decree, proclaimed
at noon of the wedding-day, that all persons married on that day should
be set up in housekeeping, free of expense!

Never, in the history of that or any other kingdom, were priests kept so
busy as those in this city. They worked as hard as they could, but at
three o'clock they were obliged to commence marrying the folks by
squads; and so, before suppertime, there was not a bachelor or maid in
the whole city,--excepting an old bobstay spinner,--one of the crossest
of old maids, who hated men so much that she had not spoken to one for
forty years; and a crabbed bachelor, who despised women so completely
that he never had his clothes washed, because it would have to be done
by females.

At midnight, the priest Ali-bo-babem was called out of his bed, and
found at the door, desiring to be married, the crabbed old bachelor and
the cross old maid. These two did not live long, but all the rest of the
people were very happy for many years.

About three o'clock of the morning after the great wedding-day, the
Giant Tur-il-i-ra arrived at his castle gate. He had walked all the way
home, and he felt in such a good humor that the road never seemed so
short to him before. But, for some reason, he could not open the gate.
There seemed to be an unusual number of locks and bolts, and the big key
he carried did not seem to fit any of the numerous key-holes. He could
easily reach over and undo the bolts, but the locks were too much for
him; and, I am sorry to say, he got a little angry, and was about to
take his club and smash his magnificent gate, when his wife, who had
been sitting up for him, and had heard the noise he had been making,
came down and let him in.

They went together into the great hall, and there Tur-il-i-ra sat down
before the fire. His wife, who thought a great deal of the good Giant,
was sorry to see that he was silent and rather grum.

"What makes you look so, my dear?" said she. "Did you not have a good
time?"

"O yes," said he, "good enough,--but that gate put me out. I wonder
what's the matter with it. It's got to be fixed. I won't be bothered and
worried in this way."

"It shall all be made right in the morning," said his wife. "But are you
sure you did not take anything that disagreed with you while you were
away?"

"Perhaps I did," said he. "It might have been the mince-pies. They told
me they were temperance pies, but I don't believe it."

"How many did you eat, my dear?" asked the good Giantess.

"Well, I don't know," said her husband. "About ten or eleven hundred, I
suppose."

"That was too many for you," said his wife. "And I think you had better
go to bed, and I will bring you something to make you feel better."

So the Giant went to bed, and as he slowly ascended the stairs, he
winked to himself with his right eye. And his wife, she went into the
kitchen, and winked to herself with her left eye.

After a while she came up to the Giant, and brought a barrel of hot
chamomile tea; and when he had drank it all, she tucked him in, nice and
warm, and the next morning he felt as well as ever.

TING-A-LING'S VISIT TO TUR-I-LI-RA.

One pleasant sunny day, the Giant Tur-il-i-ra was lying on his back on
the grass, under some great trees, in a wood near the palace of the
King.

His feet were high above the rest of his body, resting in the crotch of
a great oak-tree, and he lay with his vest open and his hat off, idly
sucking the pith from a young sapsago-tree that he had just broken off.
Near him, on the top of a tall bulrush, sat the little fairy
Ting-a-ling. They had been talking together for some time, and
Tur-il-i-ra said, "Ting-a-ling, you must come and see me. You have never
been to my castle except when you came for the good of somebody else.
Come now for yours and mine, and stay at least a week. We will have a
gay old time. Will you come?"

"I will," cried the little fairy, in a voice as clear as the chirp of a
cricket. "I'll come whenever you say so."

"Let it be to-morrow, then," said the Giant. "Shall I fetch you?"

"O no," said Ting-a-ling; "I will come on my blue butterfly. You have no
idea how fast he flies. I do believe he could go to your castle nearly
as fast as you could yourself."

"All right," said Tur-il-i-ra, rising. "Come as you please, but be sure
you come to stay."

Then the Giant got up, and he shook himself, and buttoned his vest, and
put on his hat, and as he had thin boots on, he told Ting-a-ling he was
going to see if he couldn't take the river at one jump. So, tightening
his belt, and going back for a good run, he rushed to the river bank,
and with a spring like the jerk of five mad elephants, he bounded
across. But the opposite bank was not hard enough to resist the
tremendous fall of so many tons of giant as came upon it when
Tur-il-i-ra's feet touched its edge; and it gave way, and his feet went
up and his back came down, and into the river, like a ship dropping out
of the sky, went the mighty Giant. The splash was so great that the
whole air, for a minute or two, was full of water and spray, and
Ting-a-ling could see nothing at all. When things had become visible
again, there was Tur-il-i-ra standing up to the middle of his thighs in
the channel of the river, and brushing from his eyes and his nose the
water that trickled from him like little brooks.

"Hel-l-o-o-o!" cried Ting-a-ling. "Are you hurt?"

"O no!" spluttered the Giant. "The water and the mud were soft enough,
but I'm nearly blinded and choked."

"It's a good thing it isn't worse," cried the fairy. "If that river had
not been so broad, you would have broken your neck when you came down."

"Good-by!" cried the Giant, stepping upon the bank; "I must hurry home
as fast as I can." And so away he went over the hills at a run, and you
may rest assured that he did not jump any more rivers that day.

The next morning early, Ting-a-ling mounted his blue butterfly, and over
the fields he went almost as fast as a bird, for his was a butterfly of
the desert, where they have to fly very far for anything to eat, and to
race for it very often at that. Ting-a-ling took nothing with him but
what he wore, but his "things" and his best clothes were to be sent
after him on a beetle, which, though slow, was very strong, and could
have carried, if he chose, everything that Ting-a-ling had. About
sunset, the fairy and the butterfly, the latter very tired, arrived at
the castle of Tur-il-i-ra, and there, at the great door, stood the
Giant, expecting them, with his face beaming with hospitality and
delight. He had had his slaves, for the whole afternoon, scattered along
the road by which his visitor would come; and they were commanded to
keep a sharp lookout for a blue butterfly, and pass the word to the
castle when they saw it coming. So Tur-il-i-ra was all ready; and as he
held out his finger, the butterfly was glad enough to fly up and light
upon it. The good Giant took them both into the house, and the butterfly
was put on a top-shelf, where there were some honey-jars, and if he
didn't eat!

Supper was all ready, and Tur-il-i-ra sat down to the table on a chair
which was bigger than some houses, while Ting-a-ling sat cross-legged on
a napkin, opposite to him. The Giant had everything nice. There was a
pair of roast oxen, besides a small boiled whale, and a great plate of
fricasseed elks. As for vegetables, there were boat-loads of mashed
potatoes, and turnips, and beans; and there was a pie which was as big
as a small back-yard. The Giant had a splendid appetite, and before
supper was over he had eaten up most of these things. As for little
Ting-a-ling, he had only got half way through his third grain of boiled
rice, when the Giant was done. But he could eat no more; and after
scooping up about a drop of wine in a little cup he carried with him, he
drank the health of Tur-il-i-ra, and then they went out on the front
porch, where the Giant ordered his big pipe to be brought, and he had a
smoke. When Tur-il-i-ra had finished his pipe, and Ting-a-ling had
nearly sneezed himself to death, and the whole atmosphere, for about a
mile around the castle, was foggy with smoke, they went in to bed.

Tur-il-i-ra took Ting-a-ling up-stairs, and showed him where he was to
sleep; and then putting him down on the bed, he bade him good-night, and
went out and shut the door after him.

Ting-a-ling stood in the middle of the bed and looked about him. It was
as if he was in the midst of a great plain. The bed was a double one,
that had belonged to the Giant's father and mother, and he had given it
to Ting-a-ling because it was the best in the house. The little fairy
was delighted with this bed, which was very smooth, and covered with a
great white counterpane. He ran from one end to the other of it, and he
turned heels-over-head, and walked on his hands, and amused himself in
this way until he was thoroughly tired. Then he lay right down in the
very middle, and went to sleep. I would like to have a picture of
Ting-a-ling in the Giant's bed, but any one can draw it so easily for
himself, that it is of no use to have it here. All that is necessary is
to take a large sheet of white paper,--the largest you can get,--and in
the centre of it make a small dot,--the smallest you can make,--and
there you have the picture.

It must have been nearly morning when Ting-a-ling was awakened by a
tremendous knocking at the front-door of the castle. The first thought
he had was that perhaps there were his things! But he forgot that a very
small, and probably tired-out fairy (for Parsley's younger brother was
to come with the baggage), in charge of a beetle in the same condition,
could hardly make such a thundering noise as that. But he jumped up and
slid down on the floor, and as his room was a front one, he went to the
window, and climbing up the curtains, got outside and looked down.
There, in the moonlight, he saw an ordinary sized man on horseback,
directing about a dozen black slaves, who had hold of a long rope, which
they had tied to the knocker of Tur-il-i-ra's door. They were all
pulling away at it as hard as they could (and a mighty pounding they
made too), when the Giant put his head out of his window, and asked what
all this noise meant.

"O good Tur-il-i-ra!" cried the man on the horse, "I have ridden for
several days" (he said nothing about his slaves having run all the way)
"to come to you, and tell you that the Kyrofatalapynx is loose."

[Illustration]

"What!" cried Tur-il-i-ra, in a voice like the explosion of a powder
magazine. "Loose!"

"Yes," said the man. "He's been loose for four days."

The Giant pulled in his head, and Ting-a-ling could hear him hurrying
down-stairs to open the great door. The man came in and all the slaves,
and as a good many of Tur-il-i-ra's people were up by this time, there
was a great hubbub of voices in the lower hall; but though Ting-a-ling
listened up by the banisters until the cold wind on the staircase had
nearly frozen his little bare legs (which were not much longer than your
finger-nail, and about as thick as a big darning-needle), he could make
out nothing at all of the talk. So he went back to the bed, and got in
under the edge of the counterpane, and lay there, with just his head
sticking out, until he dropped asleep. At daybreak Tur-il-i-ra came into
the room, and stooping over the bed, called to him to get up, as there
was to be an early breakfast. As the Giant carried him down-stairs on
his finger, he told the fairy that he was deeply grieved, but that he
would be obliged to leave him for the rest of the day, on account of the
Kyrofatalapynx having broken loose.

"But what is that?" asked Ting-a-ling.

"Why, don't you know? It is a--Look here, you fellows! Didn't I tell you
that breakfast was to be all ready when I came down? What do you mean,
you lazy rascals? Skip, now, and have everything ready this minute."

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