Ting a ling

F >> Frank Richard Stockton >> Ting a ling

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Starting presently to his feet, the Prince ran around the tower to find
the front door, and, seeing it, he endeavored to push it open, but it
was securely fastened. He then turned to look for Mahbracca, and
perceived her standing at some distance, surrounded by a crowd of ghouls
and demons, who seemed to be greatly enjoying the scene. The Prince
shouted loudly to her to send him the keys, at which the whole crowd set
up a shout of laughter, and Mahbracca hysterically screamed to him,--

"Enter! Enter, great Prince! Why wait so long outside? You grieve your
lovely Princess!"

The Prince, enraged, drew his sword of adamant, and at one blow thrust
it through the lock, but the door did not open, and the sword was fixed
immovably. In vain did he tug and struggle at it. He could not move it
an inch. Hearing greater and wilder cries of derision, he turned towards
the crowd and shook his fist at them, and then went back under the
window of the Princess, but she was not visible. He called her again and
again, at the top of his voice, but she did not answer him nor make her
appearance. The night was fast coming on, and overcome with sorrow and
despair, and weak with hunger, the Prince fell upon the ground.

When he had lain thus for an hour or two, hearing nothing of the
Princess or his enemies, he began to reflect that if he intended to
serve his lady-love, he must do something, and that speedily. He
himself, he plainly saw, had no power against this sorceress, and
perhaps even now she was within the tower, preventing the Princess from
answering or appearing to him. He would go for assistance, and, come
what would, the Princess should be delivered from that horrid tower. He
therefore arose, and, without reflecting how he was to leave this abode
of wickedness, he prepared to return to his friend and adviser Trumkard.
When he reached the aperture by which he had entered the hollow mountain
(which he did without meeting any one), he found it closed by a gate of
brass. But he was not to be thus deterred. He ran around the sides of
the mountain, rousing in his course several herds of Yabouks and
dreadful cattle that gazed, half awake, at his rapid movements, and
examined, as well as he could by the dim light, the wall of this great
cavern. He soon became convinced, by the knowledge he had gained in a
few visits to his step-mother's dominions, that these walls were not
very thick. His resolution was quickly formed. Taking off his handsome
and richly embroidered clothes, which would only impede him in his
labors, he stood dressed only in his under-vest and trousers. Then,
springing upon a projecting rock and over another, he entered a great
crack, pushed through some loose earth, and made his way through the
various crevices of the ground, as he had seen the gnomes do. After
about an hour's work, he emerged into the open air very tired and very
dirty. After resting awhile, he arose, and, taking his way across a
great plain, found himself by daybreak, worn out and footsore, near the
gates of a great city. Entering, he inquired of one of the few people
who were up so early, what city this was, and was informed that it was
the city of the Queen Altabec, and a long distance from the city of the
mighty King.

The Prince thanked his informant, and proceeded to look for a tailor's
shop, where he might provide himself with clothes; for he perceived that
people eyed him with suspicion, and well they might. Having found a
shop, he entered, and desired to be immediately fitted with a prince's
suit. The master tailor, knowing by his proud air that he was a Prince,
and supposing he had been on some youthful adventure, and had thus lost
his clothes, was delighted to serve him, and, running to the shelves and
drawers, pulled out all the princes' suits, and spread them before his
customer. The Prince selected some very handsome clothes, and, having
washed himself, put them on, and found they fitted him exactly. He
declared his satisfaction with them, and putting his hand in his pocket
for his purse, found nothing of the kind there, the tailor not
furnishing his clothes in that way. He now remembered that all his money
was in the clothes he had left behind him in the mountain, and explained
his condition to the tailor. The latter, however, had no wish to deal
with princes who had no money, and ordered him to instantly take off the
suit. The Prince, who was strictly honest, was about obeying, when one
of his feet (which were very tender with his much walking) giving him a
sudden pain, he stooped down to see what was in his shoe, and taking it
off, out rolled a magnificent pearl and two sapphires.

"There," said the Prince, picking them up, and handing them to the
tailor, "if these will be of any use to you, you can have them for the
clothes."

The tailor, filled with admiration at the sight of these jewels, and
with the most profound respect for a prince who carried such wealth in
his shoes, accepted them instantly, and the Prince left the shop. But
the good tailor, gazing joyfully at his new-found treasures, was so
conscientious and grateful, that he ran out after the Prince, and gave
him back one of the sapphires as change.

It may as well be here related that the tailor sold the pearl to a
jeweler, who gave him one third of its value, with which he retired into
the country, bought great possessions, and lived in much dignity for
many years. Some time afterward, the Queen Altabec happening to pass the
jeweler's shop, and seeing the pearl in the window, immediately ordered
the execution of the jeweler and the seizure of the pearl, which she
placed above all the other jewels in the tip-top of her crown, where it
still remains. As for the sapphire, the tailor's wife put that away for
a rainy day; but as the rainy day never came, and she never went to look
for it in its hiding-place, it made no earthly difference to her that
her youngest child had found it, and had swapped it off for half of a
little stale apple-pie.

After leaving the tailor's shop, the Prince made all haste to an inn,
where, having eaten about four meals in one, he bought from an Arab, who
was highly recommended to him, a swift dromedary of the desert, for
which he gave one sapphire, and requested the landlord of the khan to
see that the Arab paid to him, out of its value, what would suffice for
the price of his breakfast. This the landlord promised faithfully to do,
and it is said that the descendants of that landlord are still drawing
on the descendants of that Arab for installments of the price of that
wonderful breakfast.

Mounting his dromedary, the Prince would have started, but was detained
by the Arab, who embraced the animal, and begged the Prince, out of
charity to a poor man, to add a little to the meagre price he had paid
for it. Upon which the Prince, knowing the habits of these Arabs, drew
his sword, which he had got with his suit, and threatened to split the
affectionate man in halves, if he did not immediately take his hands off
the beast, which the man instantly did. When he started off, the
humpbacked courser might have gone much faster if he had felt inclined,
and at last the Prince became so enraged at the exceedingly leisurely
style of his trot, that he lifted his sword to serve the animal as he
had threatened to serve his old master; but the intelligent dromedary,
casting back its only eye, perceived the danger, and set off at such a
terrific speed, that the people in the villages through which it passed
knew not what it was that had trodden down their children, and upset the
old women at their pomegranate stalls.

Before night, the Prince pulled up in the great city before the door of
the inn in which Trumkard and himself had lodged. Trumkard was sitting
on the front step, with a melon on his lap and a skin bottle between his
knees. Hastily dismounting, the Prince threw himself upon the neck of
his old friend with such force that he upset the old gentleman and his
supper into a great pile together. Jumping up, and wiping the wine out
of his eyes and the melon-juice out of his hair, Trumkard welcomed his
young master, and assured him that he had several times wondered where
he was. The Prince then led him in-doors, and related his adventures,
and besought his advice.

Thereupon, Trumkard, throwing his right leg over his left, rested his
elbow on his knee, and, reposing his chin in his hand, cogitated. At
last he spoke.

"We cannot do better," said he, "than to apply to the Giant
Tur-il-i-ra."

This Giant, it will be remembered, was our old acquaintance, and the
friend of Ting-a-ling.

The Prince having readily consented to this proposition, it was agreed
that they should go to the Giant the next day, and implore his
assistance. The Prince would have started that night, but Trumkard had
great objections to night travelling, and he, being the best at an
argument, gained his point.

Early the next morning, the travellers set forth upon their journey,
well mounted upon two good horses. (It may be as well to state that
during the night, the Prince's dromedary had returned to its original
owner.)

As it will take two days of hard riding for our friends to reach their
destination, we will leave them, and return for a time to the gentle
Mahbracca, who, when she had left the Prince, had gone to her private
room to prepare an ingenious wire arrangement, which she called a
"prince-trap," in which he was to be inclosed and hung up before the
window of the Princess, for the amusement of this lively sorceress.

But what was her dismay when, on returning to the tower, the first
Yabouk she met told her of the escape of the Prince! Speechless with
apprehension, she ran to the place where he had passed through the side
of the mountain, and seeing his clothes upon the ground and the
indubitable signs of his egress, she became perfectly furious, and,
rushing back to the tower, commanded the dreadful Afrite who guarded her
door, and who now accompanied her, to enter and to bring down the
Princess, but on no account to injure her until she should be placed
alive in the cage that had been prepared for the Prince. The faithful
Afrite bowed his head in obedience, and having at one bound entered one
of the lower windows, he hurried up the stairs to the door of the
Princess's room. Bursting it open, he saw the Princess lying on the
floor in a swoon (into which she had fallen when she perceived that
Mahbracca was acting treacherously towards the Prince), and, supposing
her to be dead, he hastily plunged down the stairs to inform his
mistress, and rushing violently against the front door to burst it open
(as was his habit when doors were in his way), he immediately spitted
himself upon the Prince's sword of adamant, which was sticking through
the lock.

After waiting some time, and becoming alarmed at the long absence of the
Afrite, the sorceress sent for the key of the tower, and opened the
door. But when it slowly swung open, and the body of her favorite swung
with it,--the point of the sword emerging from the middle of his
back,--she fainted away. Coming to her senses in a few minutes, she
ordered him to be drawn off and carried to her room, where, after again
locking the tower door, she followed, in the hopes of reviving, by means
of proper magical remedies, whatever vitality might be left in the
unfortunate and indispensable Afrite.

Trumkard and the Prince journeyed so rapidly that their horses fell,
utterly exhausted, at the end of the first day's journey; and, not being
able to procure others, they were obliged to go the rest of the way on
foot. You may be sure that the Prince did not lag by the way, and poor
Trumkard was obliged to do his very best to keep up with him at all.
Therefore, when, near the end of the second day, they arrived at the
Giant's castle, they were tired and warm enough. Entering the great gate
(to the hinge of which little Ting-a-ling once tied his butterfly), they
approached the castle, and perceived the Giant sitting in his front
porch, with his feet in immense slippers, comfortably resting against
one of the great pillars before the door. The Prince, who had never seen
him before, was struck with astonishment at his great size; but Trumkard
assured him that a nobler or more true-hearted being never breathed, for
all he was so big.

When Tur-il-i-ra perceived them, he arose and welcomed them heartily,
remembering Trumkard as an old friend. He caused them to be seated on
the porch, and ordered water to be brought that they might free
themselves from the dust of the journey. Then he called to his
attendants to spread a table, and to bring some cold meat and some game,
some curries and hashes, some minced meat, some pepper-pot, some
mutton-chops, omelettes, bacon and eggs; some broiled steaks, some
spare-ribs, toast, butter, cheese, pickles, and salad; some macaroni,
vermicelli, chowder, mullagatawny, lobsters, clams, oysters, mussels,
and shrimps; also some tripe, kidneys, liver, and sausages, and
calves'-foot-jelly, and stewed cranberries; also frangipanni tarts and a
Charlotte-Russe, with bottles of orgeat, sherbet, and iced wines,
together with mead and mineral water.

When his guests had partaken of these, their hunger was fully satisfied,
and they related to him the reason of their coming. When the Giant
learned how the Princess was kept from her lover, and in all probability
from a throne, by this wicked sorceress, his anger knew no bounds.

"I knew the woman well!" he cried, "but I thought her dead. Many is the
deed of vile magic which I have known her to do, but now--well, my
friends, you shall be avenged. I will take up the cause of the Princess,
and we will set out for the hollow mountain as soon as I can get myself
ready to start."

Leaving the two friends in comfortable chairs on the porch, in which
they fell asleep as soon as he had left them, the Giant ascended the
great stone stairs into his armory, which was an immense room, filled
with his mighty weapons, and armor and all sorts of implements of
warfare. Kicking off his slippers, he put upon his feet great boots, the
like of which were never seen before. Their soles were enormously thick,
and studded with nails, each one of which was so heavy that I would not
like to have to carry it very far. Then, having put on his chain armor
and his great gauntlets, and having arrayed himself otherwise according
to his taste, he put upon his head his helmet, which was like a great
iron pot, and big enough to--well, big enough to cover his head, which
is saying a great deal. He then took, from the corner of the room, his
club, which was the trunk of a tall tree, with one end fastened into a
great rock, by way of having a knob to it. Having thus accoutred
himself, he came down-stairs, and, finding his guests in such a sound
slumber, he had not the heart to waken them; so he gently took them up,
and put one of them in each of the side-pockets of the coat which he
wore over his armor. Then, having given orders to his servants to close
all the gates, and see that the house was well fastened up for fear of
thieves, he strode out of the great gate, and proceeded towards the
hollow mountain. Although this was a long journey for a man or a horse,
our Giant made such tremendous strides that it did not seem like a very
great distance to him; and when Trumkard and the Prince awoke, and stood
up, and looked in astonishment out of the pocket-holes, they saw the
mountain in the distance. The Giant, perceiving that they were awake,
looked from one to the other with his peculiar pleasant smile, and
assured them that their troubles would soon be at an end.

"I hardly think," said he, "that the old woman can keep _me_ out of her
tower;" and he laughed at the very idea of such a thing. The Prince made
no reply, but he thought that if the Giant did get into the tower, it
would be considerably stretched.

Having arrived at the mountain, the Giant walked around it until he came
to the place where, the Prince informed him, he had made his escape, and
which was, as far as there was an opportunity of judging, one of the
thinnest parts. Tur-il-i-ra took his friends out of his pockets, and set
them on the ground at a little distance from the foot of the mountain;
and then letting his club down from his shoulder, he whirled it around
his head, and struck such a tremendous blow on the side of the mountain,
with the rock end, that everything cracked again. Then another on the
same place, and another, and another, until, at the last blow, a great
mass of rock and earth fell inside with a crash like thunder, leaving a
gap large enough for the whole party to walk in without stooping. You
may be sure that the three were not long in entering; but no sooner had
they set foot upon the great interior plain, than they perceived a
mighty commotion among the inhabitants of this secluded spot. Ghouls,
Afrites, and all sorts of demons were running towards them in a great
state of excitement; and as they approached, they formed into a solid
body, evidently intending to repel the invaders. There was no mistaking
their intentions; for they hurled at the Giant a volley of spears and
javelins that would have annihilated any one who was not so large, and
who had not on such strong and secure chain-armor.

As to our two smaller friends, they were safe enough behind the Giant's
legs. Giving his club a swing, Tur-il-i-ra stepped forward, and let it
drive right into the middle of the crowd, crushing some sixty of them,
and sending the rest howling in every direction.

Being thus rid, for a time, of these opposers, the Giant picked up his
club, and, followed by the Prince and Trumkard, advanced towards the
tower. Although Tur-il-i-ra strode along at a great rate, the Prince got
to the tower first, and immediately commenced shouting to his Princess.
She, however, did not make her appearance, for she was still in a swoon.
So the Prince ran around to the door to see if, by chance, it was open,
but found it locked. He saw, however, the hilt of his sword still in the
lock, and, seizing it, he again used his utmost strength to pull it out,
but in vain. The Giant, who had just come up, perceiving what he was
trying to do, stooped down, and, taking hold of the hilt in his finger
and thumb, gave it a jerk, and out it came. He handed it, with a smile,
to the Prince, who, overjoyed at regaining his favorite weapon, jumped
around to see if there was anybody he could stick it into; but as all
the Yabouks and other cattle were standing at a respectful distance, and
there was only old Trumkard running up, he thought better of the matter,
and put his sword into its scabbard, feeling himself a man again. The
Giant walked round the tower, putting his eye to the windows, but said
he could see nothing.

"Look in the upper window!" shouted the Prince; "that is the Princess's
room."

"Yes! here she is!" cried the old fellow, peering on tiptoe into the
upper room. "And fast asleep on the floor! That wretch of a witch has
not even given her a bed." Then, clapping his great hands against the
side of the tower, he cried,--"Wake up, sweet Princess!" in a voice so
loud that the poor young lady thought it was thunder, and sprang to her
feet trembling with fright. Seeing the face of a strange Giant at the
window, she was so much more terrified that it is probable she would
have fainted away again, had she not heard the Prince's voice.

[Illustration]

"Lift me up!" cried the Prince, jumping about almost mad with
impatience. "Put me in, quick, good Giant, if she is there!" So the
Giant took him up, and put him right in at the window. When the Princess
saw him, her face flushed, and her eyes flashed with joy. Starting back
and stamping one foot, she cried,--"My Prince!"

And he, starting back and stamping one foot, cried,--"My Princess!"

And then they rushed into each other's arms, and you could have heard
the kissing ever so far.

Old Trumkard was nearly tickled to death, and ran around on his toes,
trying insanely to reach up; but he couldn't see anything,--not he! As
for the Giant, he could see first-rate, and he stood looking in at the
window, with such a broad grin on his face, that one might almost have
driven a horse and wagon down his throat.

In a short time the Prince and Princess made their appearance at the
window, and requested to be taken down. When the Giant had deposited
them safely on the ground, they embraced each other, and then Trumkard;
and, turning to Tur-il-i-ra, they made him a very pretty speech,
expressive of gratitude and eternal remembrance.

These little duties having been performed, there seemed nothing more to
be done but to quit the mountain by the way they came. But, as they were
about leaving the tower, they were startled by a sudden burst of yells
and howls, and saw, issuing from the brazen gate by which the Prince had
first entered, a great crowd, which was approaching them at full speed,
headed by Mahbracca, who skipped along at an astonishing rate.

Our friends did not attempt to retreat. Indeed, the enemy was upon them
almost as soon as they perceived their danger.

Mahbracca stepped to one side, and the crowd, opening, discovered in the
midst forty-seven spotted demons, who carried a great copper brazier,
like an enormous covered pot, which they quickly set down, almost at the
feet of the Giant.

"Off with the lid!" shouted Mahbracca, and instantly a number of the
slaves seized the cover and dragged it off, when a great, thick,
poisonous smoke burst out of it, which would have destroyed our friends
in a few moments, had not they involuntarily sprung back and clapped
their handkerchiefs to their faces. However, they could not have lived
more than half a minute, had not the Giant, with admirable presence of
mind and surprising quickness, given the brazier such a tremendous kick
with one of his heavy boots, that he sent it more than a mile and a
half, into the midst of a distant herd of Yabouks, which were all
instantly suffocated by the dense cloud of poisonous smoke which covered
them, as the brazier fell, upside-down, right over the leader of the
herd, who, giving one great bellow, instantly crisped up into nothing.
The Giant and his party did not dare to draw breath until they had run a
considerable distance; but, notwithstanding this precaution, the
Princess presently sank down, very pale and faint; for her handkerchief,
being of the finest cambric, did not prevent her from slightly smelling
the horrid vapor, although she did not inhale any of it. However, the
fresher air, and the vigorous efforts of the Prince, soon restored her.

Mahbracca, stupefied for a moment at her utter discomfiture, and
deserted by her followers, stood gazing blankly at the scene. What she
intended doing next, was not long doubtful; for, taking a magical wand
from her pocket, she bade the Giant, with a wave of her wand, turn into
a camelopard. As he did not seem in a hurry to obey, she commanded him
to become a hippopotamus, and then an elephant. He positively declined,
however, to turn into any of these animals, owing to his having taken
the precaution, before leaving his castle, to drink a bottle of
anti-enchantment water. The old sorceress now became so enraged that she
could scarcely speak, but stood stamping her feet, and shaking her fist
at the great Tur-il-i-ra, who, leaning on his club, waited with a smile
for her next attempt upon him.

At this moment the Prince perceived, a short distance behind Mahbracca,
a small, black, and shining demon, whom he immediately recognized as the
little fellow he had seen in pickle. The young rascal was pulling and
tugging at a great wire machine that had been dropped by the followers
of Mahbracca when they ran away. He beckoned to the Prince to come and
help him; and the latter, whispering to the Princess to keep behind the
Giant, slipped quietly around to the rear of the angry sorceress, and
assisted the little fellow to place the wire affair (which was nothing
less than the "prince-trap" that Mahbracca had made) directly behind the
old hag, with the door right at her back. The Giant, perceiving this
rapidly performed stratagem, raised his club, and made a step forward,
as if, with one blow, he would crush Mahbracca, who was just beginning
to find her tongue. Startled by this sudden action, she stepped back
quickly, and stumbled right over into the "prince-trap." For an instant
she lay on her back, astounded, but quickly perceiving her predicament,
she sprang to her feet, and with loud yells tried her best to get out.
But it was of no use. The trap was made by the best rules of magic, and
there was no such a thing as getting out, even if one was as small as a
mouse. As for the little black fellow who had been in pickle, he laughed
and danced until the old woman, glaring at him between the wires,
ordered him to turn into a toad. But, unfortunately for her, she had
dropped her magic wand outside of the cage, as she fell in, and the
little demon, seeing this, merely laughed in her face, and running to
the wand, picked it up, and ordered her to turn into a jackass, which
she immediately did, and began to bray horribly. The little wretch was
so delighted with this feat, that he turned about a dozen somersaults,
and then, for the amusement of the Giant and his friends, he changed the
old sorceress successively into a lion, a pig, an old hen, a turtle, a
kangaroo, a boa-constrictor, an ape, a lobster, a cat, a crocodile, and
a crane. He declared his intention of going through these exercises
until he had used up the whole animal kingdom, and seemed delighted to
think that he could have a complete menagerie in one cage. In order that
he might pursue his amusement without interruption, the Giant put him,
with the cage, on the top of the tower; and when our friends left the
hollow mountain through the gap the Giant had made, the poor sorceress
was being changed from bird to beast, and from beast to fish or reptile,
as fast as the little demon was satisfied with her performance in any
one character; and he may be keeping up this amusing pastime yet, for
all I know.

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