The Incomplete Amorist

E >> E. Nesbit >> The Incomplete Amorist

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Three days more went by.

"You have posted the letter?"

"But yes, Monsieur. Be tranquil. Without doubt it was a letter that
should exact time for the response."

It was on the fifth day that he met Mimi Chantal, the prettiest model on
the left bank.

"Is monsieur by chance painting the great picture which shall put him
between Velasquez and Caran d'Ache on the last day?"

"I am painting nothing," said Vernon. "And why is the prettiest model in
Paris not at work?"

"I was in lateness but a little quarter of an hour, Monsieur. And behold
me--chucked."

"It wasn't for the first time, then?"

"A nothing one or two days last week. Monsieur had better begin to paint
that _chef d'oeuvre_--to-day even. It isn't often that the prettiest
model in Paris is free to sit at a moment's notice."

"But," said Vernon, "I haven't an idea for a picture even. It is too hot
for ideas. I'm going into the country at the end of the month, to do
landscape."

"To paint a picture it is then absolutely necessary to have an idea?"

"An idea--or a commission."

"There is always something that lacks! With me it is the technique that
is to seek; with you the ideas! Otherwise we should both be masters. For
you have technique both hands full; I have ideas, me."

"Tell me some of them," said Vernon, strolling along by her side. It was
not his habit to stroll along beside models. But to-day he was fretted
and chafed by long waiting for that answer to his letter. Anything
seemed better than the empty studio where one waited.

"Here is one! I have the idea that artists have no eyes. How they pose
me ever as l'Ete or La Source or Leda, or that clumsy Suzanne with her
eternal old men. As if they knew better than I do how a woman holds
herself up or sits herself down, or nurses a duck, or defends herself!"

"Your idea is probably correct. I understand you to propose that I
should paint a picture called The Blind Artist?"

"Don't do the imbecile. I propose for subject Me--not posed; me as I am
in the Rest. Is it not that it is then that I am the most pretty, the
most chic?"

"It certainly is," said he. "And you propose that I should paint you as
you appear in the Rest?"

"Perfectly," she interrupted. "Tender rose colour--it goes to a marvel
with my Cleo de Merode hair. And if you want a contrast--or one of those
little tricks to make people say: 'What does it mean?'"

"I don't, thank you," he laughed.

"Paint that white drowned girl's face that hangs behind your stove.
Paint her and me looking at each other. She has the air of felicitating
herself that she is dead. Me, I will have the air of felicitating myself
that I am alive. You will see, Monsieur. Essay but one sole little
sketch, and you will think of nothing else. One might entitle it 'The
Rivals.'"

"Or 'The Rest,'" said Vernon, a little interested. "Oh, well, I'm not
doing anything.--I'll make a sketch and give it you as a present. Come
in an hour."

* * * * *

"Auntie, wake up, wake up!" Betty, white-faced and determined, was
pulling back the curtain with fingers that rigidly would not tremble.

"Shut the door and spare my blushes," said her aunt. "What's up now?"
She looked at the watch on the bed-table. "Why its only just six."

"I can't help it," said Betty; "you've had all the night to sleep in. I
haven't. I want you to get up and dress and come to Paris with me by the
early train."

"Sit down," said the aunt. "No, not on the bed. I hate that. In this
chair. Now remember that we all parted last night in the best of
spirits, and that as far as I know nothing has happened since."

"Oh, no--nothing of course!" said Betty.

"Don't be ironical," said Miss Desmond; "at six in the morning it's
positively immoral. Tell me all--let me hear the sad sweet story of your
life."

"Very well," said Betty, "if you're only going to gibe I'll go alone. Or
I'll get Mr. Temple to take me."

"To see the other man? That _will_ be nice."

"Who said anything about--?"

"You did, the moment you came in. Come child; sit down and tell me. I'm
not unsympathetic. I'm only very, very sleepy. And I _did_ think
everything was arranged. I was dreaming of orange blossoms and The Voice
That Breathed. And the most beautiful trousseau marked E.T. And silver
fish-knives, and salt-cellars in a case lined with purple velvet."

"Go on," said Betty, "if it amuses you."

"No, no. I'm sorry. Forgive the ravings of delirium. Go on. Poor little
Betty! Don't worry. Tell its own aunt."

"It's not a joke," said Betty.

"So I more and more perceive, now that I'm really waking up," said the
aunt, sitting up and throwing back her thick blond hair. "Come, I'll get
up now. Give me my stockings--and tell me--"

"They were under my big hat," said Betty, doing as she was told; "the
one I wore the night you came. And I'd thrown it down on the chest of
drawers--and they were underneath."

"My stockings?"

"No--my letters. Two of them. And one of them's from Him. It's a week
old. And he says he won't live if I don't love him."

"They always do," said Miss Desmond, pouring water into the basin.
"Well?"

"And he wants me to marry him, and he was never engaged to Lady St.
Craye; and it was a lie. I've had a letter from _her_."

"I can't understand a word you say," said Miss Desmond through
splashings.

"My friend Paula, that I told you about. She never went home to her
father. Mr. Vernon set her up in a restaurant! Oh, how good and noble he
is! Here are your shoes--and he says he won't live without me; and I'm
going straight off to him, and I wouldn't go without telling you. It's
no use telling father yet, but I did think _you'd_ understand."

"Hand me that green silk petticoat. Thank you. _What_ did you think I'd
understand?"

"Why that I--that it's him I love."

"You do, do you?"

"Yes, always, always! And I must go to him. But I won't go and leave
Bobbie to think I'm going to marry him some day. I must tell him first,
and then I'm going straight to Paris to find him, and give him the
answer to his letter."

"You must do as you like. It's your life, not mine. But it's a pity,"
said her aunt, "and I should send a telegram to prepare him."

"The office won't be open. There's a train at seven forty-five. Oh, do
hurry. I've ordered the pony. We'll call and tell Mr. Temple."

It was not the 7:45 that was caught, however, but the 10:15, because
Temple was, naturally, in bed. When he had been roused, and had dressed
and come out to them, in the gay terrace overhanging the river where the
little tables are and the flowers in pots and the vine-covered trellis,
Miss Desmond turned and positively fled before the gay radiance of his
face.

"This is dear and sweet of you," he said to Betty.

"What lovely scheme have you come to break to me? But what's the matter?
You're not ill?"

"Oh, don't," said Betty; "don't look like that! I couldn't go without
telling you. It's all over, Bobbie."

She had never before called him by that name, and now she did not know
what she had called him.

"What's all over?" he asked mechanically.

"Everything," she said; "your thinking I was going to, perhaps, some
time--and all that. Because now I never shall. O, Bobbie, I do hate
hurting you, and I do like you so frightfully much! But he's written to
me: the letter's been delayed. And it's all a mistake. And I'm going to
him now. Oh,--I hope you'll be able to forgive me!"

"It's not your fault," he said. "Wait a minute. It's so sudden. Yes, I
see. Don't you worry about me, dearest, I shall be all right. May I know
who it is?"

"It's Mr. Vernon," said Betty.

"Oh, my God!" Temple's hand clenched. "No, no, no, no!"

"I am so very, very sorry," said Betty in the tone one uses who has
trodden on another's foot in an omnibus.

He had sat down at one of the little tables, and was looking out over
the shining river with eyes half shut.

"But it's not true," he said. "It can't be true! He's going to marry
Lady St. Craye."

"That's all a mistake," said Betty eagerly; "he only said that
because--I haven't time to tell you all about it now. But it was all a
mistake."

"Betty, dear," he said, using in his turn, for the first time, her
Christian name, "don't do it. Don't marry him. You don't know."

"I thought you were his friend."

"So I am," said Temple. "I like him right enough. But what's all the
friendship in the world compared with your happiness? Don't marry
him--dear. Don't."

"I shall marry whom I choose," said Betty, chin in air, "and it won't be
you." ("I don't care if I am vulgar and brutal," she told herself, "it
serves him right")

"It's not for me, dear. It's not for me--it's for you. I'll go right
away and never see you again. Marry some straight chap--anyone--But not
Vernon."

"I am going to marry Mr. Vernon," said Betty with lofty calm, "and I am
very sorry for any annoyance I may have caused you. Of course, I see now
that I could never--I mean," she added angrily, "I hate people who are
false to their friends. Yes--and now I've missed my train."

She had.

"Forgive me," said Temple when the fact was substantiated, and the gray
pony put up, "after all, I was your friend before I--before you--before
all this that can't come to anything. Let me give you both some coffee
and see you to the station. And Betty, don't you go and be sorry about
me afterwards. Because, really, it's not your fault and," he laughed and
was silent a moment, "and I'd rather have loved you and have it end like
this, dear, than never have known you. I truly would."

The journey to Paris was interminable. Betty had decided not to think of
Temple, yet that happy morning face of his would come between her and
the things she wanted to think of. To have hurt him like that!--It hurt
her horribly; much more than she would have believed possible. And she
had been cruel. "Of course it's natural that he should say things about
Him. He must hate anyone that--He nearly cried when he said that about
rather have loved me than not--Yes--" A lump came in Betty's own throat,
and her eyes pricked.

"Come, don't cry," said her aunt briskly; "you've made your choice, and
you're going to your lover. Don't be like Lot's wife. You can't eat your
cake and have it too."

Vernon's concierge assured these ladies that Monsieur was at home.

"He makes the painting in this moment," she said. "Mount then, my
ladies."

They mounted.

Betty remembered her last--her first--visit to his studio: when Paula
had disappeared and she had gone to him for help. She remembered how the
velvet had come off her dress, and how awful her hair had been when she
had looked in the glass afterwards. And Lady St. Craye--how beautifully
dressed, how smiling and superior!

"Hateful cat!" said Betty on the stairs.

"Eh?" said her aunt.

Now there would be no one in the studio but Vernon. He would be reading
over her letters--nothing in them--only little notes about whether she
would or wouldn't be free on Tuesday--whether she could or couldn't dine
with him on Wednesday. But he would be reading them over--perhaps--

The key was in the door.

"Do you mind waiting on the stairs, Auntie dear," said Betty in a voice
of honey; "just the first minute?--I would like to have it for us
two--alone. You don't mind?"

"Do as you like," said the aunt rather sadly. "I should knock if I were
you."

Betty did not knock. She opened the studio door softly. She would like
to see him before he saw her.

She had her wish.

A big canvas stood on the easel, a stool in front of it. The table was
in the middle of the room, a yellow embroidered cloth on it. There was
food on the cloth--little breads, pretty cakes and strawberries and
cherries, and wine in tall, beautiful, topaz-coloured glasses.

Vernon sat in his big chair. Betty could see his profile. He sat there,
laughing. On the further arm of the chair sat, laughing also, a very
pretty young woman. Her black hair was piled high on her head and
fastened with a jewelled pin. The sunlight played in the jewels. She
wore a pink silk garment. She held cherries in her hand.

"_V'la cheri_!" she said, and put one of the twin cherries in her mouth;
then she leant over him laughing, and Vernon reached his head forward to
take in his mouth the second cherry that dangled below her chin. His
mouth was on the cherry, and his eyes in the black eyes of the girl in
pink.

Betty banged the door.

"Come away!" she said to Miss Desmond. And she, who had seen, too, the
pink picture, came away, holding Betty's arm tight.

"I wonder," she said as they reached the bottom of the staircase, "I
wonder he didn't come after us to--to--try to explain."

"I locked the door," said Betty. "Don't speak to me, please."

They were in the train before either broke silence. Betty's face was
white and she looked old--thirty almost her aunt thought.

[Illustration: "On the further arm of the chair sat, laughing also, a
very pretty young woman"]

It was Miss Desmond who spoke.

"Betty," she said, "I know how you feel. But you're very young. I think
I ought to say that that girl--"

"_Don't_!" said Betty.

"I mean what we saw doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't love you."

"Perhaps not," said Betty, fierce as a white flame. "Anyhow, it means
that I don't love him."

Miss Desmond's tact, worn by three days of anxiety and agitation, broke
suddenly, and she said what she regretted for some months:

"Oh, you don't love _him_ now? Well, the other man will console you."

"I hate you," said Betty, "and I hate him; and I hope I shall never see
a man again as long as I live!"

CHAPTER XXVIII.

"AND SO--"

The banging of his door, the locking of it, annoyed Vernon, yet
interested him but little. One's acquaintances have such queer notions
of humour. He had the excuse--and by good luck the rope--to explore his
celebrated roofs. Mimi was more agitated than he, so he dismissed her
for the day with many compliments and a bunch of roses, and spent what
was left of the light in painting in a background to the sketch of
Betty--the warren as his sketch-book helped him to remember it. Perhaps
he and she would go there together some day.

He looked with extreme content at the picture on the easel.

He had worked quickly and well. The thing was coming splendidly. Mimi
had been right. She could pose herself as no artist had ever posed her.
He would make a picture of the thing after all.

The next morning brought him a letter. That he, who had hated letters,
should have come to care for a letter more than for anything that could
have come to him except a girl. He kissed the letter before he opened
it.

"At last," he said. "Oh, this minute was worth waiting for!"

He opened the envelope with a smile mingled of triumph and something
better than triumph--and read:

"Dear Mr. Vernon:

"I hope that nothing in my manner has led you to expect any other
answer than the one I must give. That answer is, of course, _no_.
Although thanking you sincerely for your flattering offer, I am
obliged to say that I have never thought of you except as a friend.
I was extremely surprised by your letter. I hope I have not been in
any way to blame. With every wish for your happiness, and regrets
that this should have happened, I am yours faithfully,

"Elizabeth Desmond."

He read the letter, re-read it, raised his eyebrows. Then he took two
turns across the studio, shrugged his shoulders impatiently, lit a match
and watched the letter burn. As the last yellow moving sparks died in
the black of its ash, he bit his lip.

"Damn," he said, "oh, damn!"

Next day he went to Spain. A bunch of roses bigger and redder than any
roses he had ever sent her came to Lady St. Craye with his card--p.d.a.
in the corner.

She, too, shrugged her shoulders, bit her lip and--arranged the roses in
water. Presently she tried to take up her life at the point where she
had laid it down when, last October, Vernon had taken it into his hands.
Succeeding as one does succeed in such enterprises.

It was May again when Vernon found himself once more sitting at one of
the little tables in front of the Cafe de la Paix.

"Sit here long enough," he said, "and you see every one you have ever
known or ever wanted to know. Last year it was the jasmine lady--and
that girl--on the same one and wonderful day. This year it's--by Jove!"

He rose and moved among the closely set chairs and tables to the
pavement. The sightless stare of light-blanched spectacles met his eyes.
A gentlemanly-looking lady in short skirts stood awaiting him.

"How are you?" she said. "Yes, I know you didn't see me, but I thought
you'd like to."

"I do like to, indeed. May I walk with you--or--" he glanced back at the
table where his Vermouth stood untasted.

"The impertinence of it! Frightfully improper to sit outside cafes,
isn't it?--for women, I mean--and this Cafe in particular. Yes, I'll
join you with the greatest pleasure. Coffee please."

"It's ages since I saw you," he said amiably, "not since--"

"Since I called on you at your hotel. How frightened you were!"

"Not for long," he answered, looking at her with the eyes she loved, the
eyes of someone who was not Vernon--"Ah, me, a lot of water has run--"

"Not under the bridges," she pleaded: "say off the umbrellas."

"Since," he pursued, "we had that good talk. You remember, I wanted to
call on you in London and you wouldn't let me. You might let me now."

"I will," she said. "97 Curzon Street. Your eyes haven't changed colour
a bit. Nor your nature, I suppose. Yet something about you's changed.
Got over Betty yet?"

"Quite, thanks," he said tranquilly. "But last time we met, you remember
we agreed that I had no intentions."

[Illustration: "The next morning; brought him a letter"]

"Wrong lead," she said, smiling frankly at him; "and besides I hold all
the trumps. Ace, King, Queen; and Ace, Knave and Queen of another suit."

"Expound, I implore."

"Aces equal general definite and decisive information. King and Queen of
hearts equal Betty and the other man."

"There was another man then?"

"There always is, isn't there? Knave--your honoured self. Queen--where
is the Queen, by the way,--the beautiful Queen with the sad eyes, blind,
poor dear, quite blind to everything but the abominable Knave?"

"Meaning me?"

"It's not an unbecoming cap," she said, stirring her coffee, "and you
wear it with an air. Where's the Queen of your suit?"

"I confess I'm at fault."

"The odd trick is mine. And the honours. You may as well throw down your
hand. Yes. I play whist. Not bridge. Where is your Queen--Lady St.--what
is it?"

"I haven't seen her," he said steadily, "since last June. I left Paris
on a sudden impulse, and I hadn't time to say good-bye to her."

"Didn't you even leave a card? That's not like your eyes."

"I think I sent a tub of hydrangeas or something, _pour dire adieu_."

"That was definite. Remember the date?"

"No," he said, remembering perfectly.

"Not the eleventh, was it? That was the day when you would get Betty's
letter of rejection."

"It may have been the eleventh.--In fact it _was_."

"Ah, that's better! And the tenth--who let you out of your studio on the
tenth? I've often wondered."

"I've often wondered who locked me in. It couldn't have been you, of
course?"

"As you say. But I was there."

"It wasn't--?"

"But it was. I thought you'd guess that. She got your letter and came up
ready to fall into your arms--opened the door softly like any heroine
of fiction--I told her to knock--but no: beheld the pink silk picture
and fled the happy shore forever."

"Damn!" he said. "I do beg your pardon, but really--"

"Don't waste those really convincing damns on ancient history. I told
her it didn't mean that you didn't love her."

"That was clear-sighted of you."

"It was also quite futile. She said it means _she_ didn't love _you_ at
any rate. I suppose she wrote and told you so."

A long pause. Then:

"As you say," said Vernon, "it's ancient history. But you said something
about another man."

"Oh, yes--your friend Temple.--Say 'damn' again if it's the slightest
comfort to you--I've heard worse words."

"When?" asked Vernon, and he sipped his Vermouth; "not straight away?"

"Bless me, no! Months and months. That picture in your studio gave her
the distaste for all men for quite a long time. We took her home, her
father and me: by the way, he and she are tremendous chums now."

"Well?"

"You don't want me to tell you the sweet secret tale of their betrothal?
He just came down--at Christmas it was. She was decorating the church.
Her father had a transient gleam of common sense and sent him down to
her. 'Is it you?' 'Is it you?'--All was over! They returned to that
Rectory an engaged couple. They were made for each other.--Same tastes,
same sentiments. They love the same things--gardens scenery, the simple
life, lofty ideals, cathedrals and Walt Whitman."

"And when are they to be married?"

"They are married. 'What are we waiting for, you and I?' No, I don't
know which of them said it. They were married at Easter: Sunday-school
children throwing cowslips--quite idyllic. All the old ladies from the
Mother's Mutual Twaddle Club came and shed fat tears. They presented a
tea-set; maroon with blue roses--most 'igh class and select."

"Easter?" said Vernon, refusing interest to the maroon and blue
tea-cups. "She must indeed have been extravagantly fond of me."

"Not she! She wanted to be in love. We all do, you know. And you were
the first. But she'd never have suited you. I've never known but two
women who would."

"Two?" he said. "Which?"

"Myself for one, saving your presence." She laughed and finished her
coffee. "If I'd happened to meet you when I was young--and not
bad-looking. It's only my age that keeps you from falling in love with
me. The other one's the Queen of your suit, poor lady, that you sent the
haystack of sunflowers to. Well--Good-bye. Come and see me when you're
in town--97 Curzon Street; don't forget."

"I shan't forget," he said; "and if I thought you would condescend to
look at me, it isn't what you call your age that would keep me from
falling in love with you."

"Heaven defend me!" she cried. "_Au revoir_."

* * * * *

When Vernon had finished his Vermouth, he strolled along to the street
where last year Lady St. Craye had had a flat.

Yes--Madame retained still the apartment. It was to-day that Madame
received. But the last of the friends of Madame had departed. Monsieur
would find Madame alone.

Monsieur found Madame alone, and reading. She laid the book face
downwards on the table and held out the hand he had always
loved--slender, and loosely made, that one felt one could so easily
crush in one's own.

"How time flies," she said. "It seems only yesterday that you were here.
How sweet you were to me when I had influenza. How are you? You look
very tired."

"I am tired," he said. "I have been in Spain. And in Italy. And in
Algiers."

"Very fatiguing countries, I understand. And what is your best news?"

He stood on the hearth-rug, looking down at her.

"Betty Desmond's married," he said.

"Yes," she answered, "to that nice boy Temple, too. I saw it in the
paper. Dreadful isn't it? Here to-day and gone to-morrow!"

"I'll tell you why she married him," said Vernon, letting himself down
into a chair, "if you'd like me to. At least I'll tell you why she
didn't marry me. But perhaps the subject has ceased to interest you?"

"Not at all," she answered with extreme politeness.

So he told her.

"Yes, I suppose it would be like that. It must have annoyed you very
much. It's left marks on your face, Eustace. You look tired to death."

"That sort of thing does leave marks."

"That girl taught you something, Eustace; something that's stuck."

"It is not impossible, I suppose," he said and then very carelessly, as
one leading the talk to lighter things, he added: "I suppose you
wouldn't care to marry me?"

"Candidly," she answered, calling all her powers of deception to her
aid, "candidly, I don't think I should."

"I knew it," said Vernon, smiling; "my heart told me so."

"She," said Lady St. Craye, "was frightened away from her life's
happiness, as they call it, by seeing you rather near to a pink silk
model. I suppose you think _I_ shouldn't mind such things?"

"You forget," said Vernon demurely. "Such things never happen after one
is married."

"No," she said, "of course they don't. I forgot that."

"You might as well marry me," he said, and the look of youth had come
back suddenly, as it's way was, to his face.

"I might very much better not."

They looked at each other steadily. She saw in his eyes a little of what
it was that Betty had taught him.

She never knew what he saw in hers, for all in a moment he was kneeling
beside her; his arm was across the back of her chair, his head was on
her shoulder and his face was laid against her neck, as the face of a
child, tired with a long play-day, is laid against the neck of its
mother.

"Ah, be nice to me!" he said. "I am very tired."

Her arm went round his shoulders as the mother's arm goes round the
shoulders of the child.

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