Anonymous - "The Fox Jumps Over the Parson's Gate"

A. F. Pollard - "Henry VIII."

Arthur J. Rees - "The Hand in the Dark"

Virginia Bennett - "The Pigeon Tale"

Annual Bibliography of Commonwealth Literature 2007
This paper argues that discourses of love in Ghanaian market literature for youth offer a view into complex negotiations of agency and empowerment. Drawing on Deborah Durham's notion of youth as "social `shifters'" and Francis Nyamnjoh's conception of the "interconnectedness" of agency, I take Ghanaian market literature as one specific case of how African literature for youth foregrounds questions of continuity and change as African societies enter into increasingly complex global relations. In this literature for youth, received notions of love, often constructed out of impressions from American pop and hip hop music, carry new notions of agency that compete with existing "domesticated" forms. Authors like Ike Tandoh and Evelyn Tay employ discourses of love to offer youth alternative avenues for empowerment in a context of socio-economic disenfranchizement. In a creative process of "straddling", this writing both reveals and reproduces the contradictions that obtain in youth configurations of agency.

The Life of Mansie Wauch

D >> David Macbeth Moir >> The Life of Mansie Wauch




To say no more, I was once myself, for example, at one of our Dalkeith
fairs, present in a hay-loft--I think they charged threepence at the
door, but let me in with a grudge for twopence, but no matter--to see a
punch and puppie-show business, and other slight-of-hand work. Well, the
very moment I put my neb within the door, I was visibly convinced of the
smell of burnt roset, with which I understand they make lightning, and
knew, as well as maybe, what they had been trafficking about with their
black art; but, nevertheless, having a stout heart, I determined to sit
still, and see what they would make of it, knowing well enough, that, as
long as I had the Psalm-book in my pocket, they would be gay and clever
to throw any of their blasted cantrips over me.

What do ye think they did? One of them, a wauf, drucken-looking
scoundrel, fired a gold ring over the window, and mostly set fire to the
thatch house opposite--which was not insured. Yet where think ye did the
ring go to? With my living een I saw it taken out of auld Willie
Turneep's waistcoat pouch, who was sitting blind fou, with his mouth
open, on one of the back seats; so, by no earthly possibility could it
have got there, except by whizzing round the gable, and in through the
steeked door by the key-hole.

Folk may say what they chuse by way of apology, but I neither like nor
understand such on-going as changing sterling silver half-crowns into
copper penny-pieces, or mending a man's coat--as they did mine, after
cutting a blad out of one of the tails--by the black-art.

But, hout-tout, one thing and another coming across me, had almost clean
made me forget explaining to the world, the upshot of my extraordinary
vision; but better late than never--and now for it.

Nanse, on finding herself in a certain way, was a thought dumfoundered;
and instead of laughing, as she did at first, when I told her my dream,
she soon came to regard the matter as one of sober earnest. The very
prospect of what was to happen threw a gleam of comfort round our bit
fireside: and, long ere the day had come about which was to crown our
expectations, Nanse was prepared with her bit stock of baby's wearing
apparel, and all necessaries appertaining thereto--wee little mutches
with lace borders, and side-knots of blue three-ha'penny ribbon--long
muslin frockies, vandyked across the breast, drawn round the waist with
narrow nittings, and tucked five rows about the tail--Welsh-flannel
petticoaties--demity wrappers--a coral gum-stick, and other uncos, which
it does not befit the like of me to particularize. I trust, on my part,
as far as in me lay, I was not found wanting; having taken care to
provide a famous Dunlop cheese, at fivepence-halfpenny the pound--I
believe I paled fifteen, in Joseph Gowdy's shop, before I fixed on it;--to
say nothing of a bottle, or maybe two, of real peat-reek, Farintosh,
small-still Hieland whisky--Glenlivat, I think, is the name o't--half a
peck of shortbread, baken by Thomas Burlings, with three pounds of
butter, and two ounces of carvie-seeds in it, let alone orange-peel, and
a pennyworth of ground cinnamon--half a mutchkin of best cony brandy, by
way of change--and a Musselburgh ankerstoke, to slice down for
tea-drinkings and posset cups.

Every one has reason to be thankful, and me among the rest; for many a
worse provided for, and less welcome down-lying has taken place, time out
of mind, throughout broad Scotland. I say this with a warm heart, as I
am grateful for all my mercies. To hundreds above hundreds such a
catastrophe brings scarcely any joy at all; but it was far different with
me, who had a Benjamin to look for.

If the reader will be so kind as to look over the next chapter, he will
find whether or not I was disappointed in my expectations.




CHAPTER VIII.--LETTING LODGINGS.


Then first he ate the white puddings,
And syne he ate the black, O;
Though muckle thought the Gudewife to hersell,
Yet ne'er a word she spak, O.
But up then started our Gudeman,
And an angry man was he, O.

_Old Song_.

It would be curious if I passed over a remarkable incident, which at this
time fell out. Being but new beginners in the world, the wife and I put
our heads constantly together to contrive for our forward advancement, as
it is the bounden duty of all to do. So our housie being rather large,
(two rooms and a kitchen, not speaking of a coal-cellar and a hen-house,)
and having as yet only the expectation of a family, we thought we could
not do better than get John Varnish the painter, to do off a small
ticket, with "A Furnished Room to Let" on it, which we nailed out at the
window; having collected into it the choicest of our furniture, that it
might fit a genteeler lodger and produce a better rent--And a lodger soon
we got.

Dog on it! I think I see him yet. He was a blackaviced Englishman, with
curled whiskers and a powdered pow, stout round the waistband, and fond
of good eating, let alone drinking, as we found to our cost. Well, he
was our first lodger. We sought a good price, that we might, on
bargaining, have the merit of coming down a tait; but no, no--go away wi'
ye; it was dog-cheap to him. The half-guinea a-week was judged perfectly
moderate; but if all his debts were--yet I must not cut before the cloth.

Hang expenses! was the order of the day. Ham and eggs for breakfast, let
alone our currant jelly. Roast-mutton cold, and strong ale at twelve, by
way of check, to keep away wind from the stomach. Smoking roast-beef,
with scraped horse raddish, at four precisely; and toasted cheese, punch,
and porter, for supper. It would have been less, had all the things been
within ourselves. Nothing had we but the cauler new-laid eggs; then
there was Deacon Heukbane's butcher's account; and John Cony's spirit
account; and Thomas Burlings' bap account; and deevil kens how many more
accounts, that came all in upon us afterwards. But the crowning of all
was reserved for the end. It was no farce at the time, and kept our
heads down at the water edge for many a day. I was just driving the hot
goose along the seams of a Sunday jacket I was finishing for Thomas Clod
the ploughman, when the Englisher came in at the shop door, whistling
"Robert Adair," and "Scots wha ha'e wi' Wallace bled," and whiles, maybe,
churming to himself like a young blackbird;--but I have not patience to
go through with it. The long and the short of the matter, however, was,
that, after rummaging among my two or three webs of broadcloth on the
shelf, he pitched on a Manchester blue, five quarters wide, marked
CXD.XF, which is to say, three-and-twenty shillings the yard. I told him
it was impossible to make a pair of pantaloons to him in two hours; but
he insisted upon having them, alive or dead, as he had to go down the
same afternoon to dine with my Lord Duke, no less. I convinced him, that
if I was to sit up all night, he could get them by five next morning, if
that would do, as I would also keep my laddie, Tammy Bodkin, out of his
bed; but no--I thought he would have jumped out of his seven senses.
"Just look," he said, turning up the inside seam of the leg--"just
see--can any gentleman make a visit in such things as these? they are as
full of holes as a coal-sieve. I wonder the devil why my baggage has not
come forward. Can I get a horse and boy to ride express to Edinburgh for
a ready-made article?"

A thought struck me; for I had heard of wonderful advancement in the
world, for those who had been so lucky as help the great at a pinch. "If
ye'll no take it amiss, sir," said I, making my obedience, "a notion has
just struck me."

"Well, what is it?" said he briskly.

"Well, sir, I have a pair of knee-breeches, of most famous velveteen,
double tweel, which have been only once on my legs, and that no farther
gone than last Sabbath. I'm pretty sure they would fit ye in the
meantime; and I would just take a pleasure in driving the needle all
night, to get your own ready."

"A clever thought," said the Englisher. "Do you think they would fit
me?--Devilish clever thought, indeed."

"To a hair," I answered; and cried to Nanse to bring the velveteens.

I do not think he was ten minutes, when lo, and behold! out at the door
he went, and away past the shop-window like a lamplighter. The buttons
on the velveteens were glittering like gold at the knees. Alas! it was
like the flash of the setting sun; I never beheld them more. He was to
have been back in two or three hours, but the laddie, with the box on his
shoulder, was going through the street crying "Hot penny-pies" for
supper, and neither word nor wittens of him. I began to be a thought
uneasy, and fidgeted on the board like a hen on a hot girdle. No man
should do any thing when he is vexed, but I could not help giving Tammy
Bodkin, who was sewing away at the lining of the new pantaloons, a
terrible whisk in the lug for singing to himself. I say I was vexed for
it afterwards; especially as the laddie did not mean to give offence; and
as I saw the blae marks of my four fingers along his chaft-blade.

The wife had been bothering me for a new gown, on strength of the payment
of our grand bill; and in came she, at this blessed moment of time, with
about twenty swatches from Simeon Calicoe's prinned on a screed of paper.

"Which of these do you think bonniest?" said Nanse, in a flattering way;
"I ken, Mansie, you have a good taste."

"Cut not before the cloth," answered I, "gudewife," with a wise shake of
my head. "It'll be time enough, I daresay, to make your choice
to-morrow."

Nanse went out as if her nose had been blooding. I could thole it no
longer; so, buttoning my breeches-knees, I threw my cowl into a corner,
clapped my hat on my head, and away down in full birr to the Duke's gate.

I speired at the porter, if the gentleman with the velveteen breeches and
powdered hair, that was dining with the Duke, had come up the avenue yet?

"Velveteen breeches and powdered hair!" said auld Paul laughing, and
taking the pipe out of his cheek, "whose butler is't that ye're after?"

"Well," said I to him, "I see it all as plain as a pikestaff. He is off
bodily; but may the meat and the drink he has taken off us be like drogs
to his inside; and may the velveteens play crack, and cast the steeks at
every step he takes!" It was no Christian wish; and Paul laughed till he
was like to burst, at my expense. "Gang your ways hame, Mansie," said he
to me, clapping me on the shoulder as if I had been a wean, "and give
over setting traps, for ye see you have catched a Tartar."

This was too much; first to be cheated by a swindling loon, and then made
game of by a flunkie; and, in my desperation, I determined to do some
awful thing.

Nanse followed me in from the door, and asked what news?--I was ower big,
and ower vexed to hear her; so, never letting on, I went to the little
looking-glass on the drawers' head, and set it down on the table. Then I
looked myself in it for a moment, and made a gruesome face. Syne I
pulled out the little drawer, and got the sharping strap, the which I
fastened to my button. Syne I took my razor from the box, and gave it
five or six turns along first one side and then the other, with great
precision. Syne I tried the edge of it along the flat of my hand. Syne
I loosed my neckcloth, and laid it over the back of the chair; and syne I
took out the button of my shirt-neck, and folded it back. Nanse, who
was, all the time, standing behind, looking what I was after, asked me,
"if I was going to shave without hot water?" when I said to her in a
fierce and brave manner, (which was very cruel, considering the way she
was in,) "I'll let you see that presently." The razor looked desperate
sharp; and I never liked the sight of blood; but oh, I was in a terrible
flurry and fermentation. A kind of cold trembling went through me; and I
thought it best to tell Nanse what I was going to do, that she might be
something prepared for it. "Fare ye well, my dear!" said I to her, "you
will be a widow in five minutes--for here goes!" I did not think she
could have mustered so much courage, but she sprang at me like a tiger;
and, throwing the razor into the ass-hole, took me round the neck, and
cried like a bairn. First she was seized with a fit of the hystericks,
and then with her pains. It was a serious time for us both, and no joke;
for my heart smote me for my sin and cruelty. But I did my best to make
up for it. I ran up and down like mad for the Howdie, and at last
brought her trotting along with me by the lug. I could not stand it. I
shut myself up in the shop with Tammy Bodkin, like Daniel in the lions'
den; and every now and then opened the door to speir what news. Oh, but
my heart was like to break with anxiety! I paced up and down, and to and
fro, with my Kilmarnock on my head and my hands in my breeches pockets,
like a man out of Bedlam. I thought it would never be over; but, at the
second hour of the morning, I heard a wee squeel, and knew that I was a
father; and so proud was I, that notwithstanding our loss, Lucky
Bringthereout and me whanged away at the cheese and bread, and drank so
briskly at the whisky and foot-yill, that, when she tried to rise and go
away, she could not stir a foot. So Tammy and I had to oxter her out
between us, and deliver the howdie herself--safe in at her own door.




CHAPTER IX.--BENJIE'S CHRISTENING.


We'll hap and row, hap and row,
We'll hap and row the feetie o't.
It is a wee bit weary thing,
I dinnie bide the greetie o't.

PROVOST CREECH.

An honest man, close button'd to the chin,
Broad-cloth without, and a warm heart within.

COWPER.

This great globe and all that it inherits shall dissolve,
And, like the baseless fabric of a vision,
Leave not a rack behind.

SHAKSPEARE.

At the christening of our only bairn, Benjie, two or three remarkable
circumstances occurred, which it behoves me to relate.

It was on a cold November afternoon; and really when the bit room was all
redd up, the fire bleezing away, and the candles lighted, every thing
looked full tosh and comfortable. It was a real pleasure, after looking
out into the drift that was fleeing like mad from the east, to turn one's
neb inwards, and think that we had a civilized home to comfort us in the
dreary season. So, one after another, the bit party we had invited to
the ceremony came papping in; and the crack began to get loud and hearty;
for, to speak the truth, we were blessed with canny friends, and a good
neighbourhood. Notwithstanding, it was very curious, that I had no mind
of asking down James Batter, the weaver, honest man, though he was one of
our own elders; and in papped James, just when the company had haffins
met, with his stocking-sleeves on his arms, his nightcap on his head, and
his blue-stained apron hanging down before him, to light his pipe at our
fire.

James, when he saw his mistake, was fain to make his retreat; but we
would not hear tell of it, till he came in, and took a dram out of the
bottle, as we told him the not doing so would spoil the wean's beauty,
which is an old freak, (the smallpox, however, afterwards did that;) so,
with much persuasion, he took a chair for a gliff, and began with some of
his drolls--for he is a clever, humoursome man, as ye ever met with. But
he had now got far on with his jests, when lo! a rap came to the door,
and Mysie whipped away the bottle under her apron, saying "Wheesht,
wheesht, for the sake of gudeness, there's the minister!"

The room had only one door, and James mistook it, running his head, for
lack of knowledge, into the open closet, just as the minister lifted the
outer-door sneck. We were all now sitting on nettles, for we were
frighted that James would be seized with a cough, for he was a wee
asthmatic; or that some, knowing there was a thief in the pantry, might
hurt good manners by breaking out into a giggle. However, all for a
considerable time was quiet, and the ceremony was performed; little
Nancy, our niece, handing the bairn upon my arm to receive its name. So,
we thought, as the minister seldom made a long stay on similar occasions,
that all would pass off well enough--But wait a wee.

There was but one of our company that had not cast up, to wit, Deacon
Paunch, the flesher, a most worthy man, but tremendously big, and grown
to the very heels; as was once seen on a wager, that his ankle was
greater than my brans. It was really a pain to all feeling Christians,
to see the worthy man waigling about, being, when weighed in his own
scales, two-and-twenty stone ten ounces, Dutch weight. Honest man, he
had had a sore fecht with the wind and the sleet, and he came in with a
shawl roppined round his neck, peching like a broken-winded horse; so
fain was he to find a rest for his weary carcass in our stuffed chintz
pattern elbow-chair by the fire cheek.

From the soughing of wind at the window, and the rattling in the lum, it
was clear to all manner of comprehension, that the night was a dismal
one; so the minister, seeing so many of his own douce folk about him,
thought he might do worse than volunteer to sit still, and try our toddy:
indeed, we would have pressed him before this to do so; but what was to
come of James Batter, who was shut up in the closet, like the spies in
the house of Rahab the harlot, in the city of Jericho?

James began to find it was a bad business; and having been driving the
shuttle about from before daylight, he was fain to cruik his hough, and
felt round about him quietly in the dark for a chair to sit down upon,
since better might not be. But, wae's me! the cat was soon out of the
pock.

Me and the minister were just argle-bargling some few words on the
doctrine of the camel and the eye of the needle, when, in the midst of
our discourse, as all was wheesht and attentive, an awful thud was heard
in the closet, which gave the minister, who thought the house had fallen
down, such a start, that his very wig louped for a full three-eighths off
his crown. I say we were needcessitated to let the cat out of the pock
for two reasons; firstly, because we did not know what had happened; and,
secondly, to quiet the minister's fears, decent man, for he was a wee
nervous. So we made a hearty laugh of it, as well as we could, and
opened the door to bid James Batter come out, as we confessed all. Easier
said than done, howsoever. When we pulled open the door, and took
forward one of the candles, there was James doubled up, sticking twofold
like a rotten in a sneak-trap, in an old chair, the bottom of which had
gone down before him, and which, for some craize about it, had been put
out of the way by Nanse, that no accident might happen. Save us! if the
deacon had sate down upon it, pity on our brick-floor.

Well, after some ado, we got James, who was more frighted than hurt,
hauled out of his hidy-hole; and after lifting off his cowl, and sleeking
down his front hair, he took a seat beside us, apologeezing for not being
in his Sunday's garb, the which the minister, who was a free and easy
man, declared there was no occasion for, and begged him to make himself
comfortable.

Well, passing over that business, Mr Wiggie and me entered into our
humours, for the drappikie was beginning to tell on my noddle, and made
me somewhat venturesome--not to say that I was not a little proud to have
the minister in my bit housie; so, says I to him in a cosh way, "Ye may
believe me or no, Mr Wiggie, but mair than me think ye out of sight the
best preacher in the parish--nane of them, Mr Wiggie, can hold the candle
to ye, man."

"Weesht, weesht," said the body, in rather a cold way that I did not
expect, knowing him to be as proud as a peacock--"I daresay I am just
like my neighbours."

This was not quite so kind--so says I to him, "Maybe sae, for many a one
thinks ye could not hold a candle to Mr Blowster the Cameronian, that
whiles preaches at Lugton."

This was a stramp on his corny toe. "Na, na," answered Mr Wiggie, rather
nettled; "let us drop that subject. I preach like my neighbours. Some
of them may be worse, and others better; just as some of your own trade
may make clothes worse, and some better, than yourself."

My corruption was raised. "I deny that," said I, in a brisk manner,
which I was sorry for after--"I deny that, Mr Wiggie," says I to him;
"I'll make a pair of breeches with the face of clay."

But this was only a passing breeze, during the which, howsoever, I
happened to swallow my thimble, which accidentally slipped off my middle
finger, causing both me and the company general alarm, as there were
great fears that it might mortify in the stomach; but it did not; and
neither word nor wittens of it have been seen or heard tell of from that
to this day. So, in two or three minutes, we had some few good songs,
and a round of Scotch proverbs, when the clock chapped eleven. We were
all getting, I must confess, a thought noisy; Johnny Soutter having
broken a dram-glass, and Willie Fegs couped a bottle on the bit table-
cloth; all noisy, I say, except Deacon Paunch, douce man, who had fallen
into a pleasant slumber; so, when the minister rose to take his hat, they
all rose except the Deacon, whom we shook by the arms for some time, but
in vain, to waken him. His round, oily face, good creature, was just as
if it had been cut out of a big turnip, it was so fat, fozy, and soft;
but at last, after some ado, we succeeded, and he looked about him with a
wild stare, opening his two red eyes, like Pandore oysters, asking what
had happened; and we got him hoized up on his legs, tying the blue shawl
round his bull-neck again.

Our company had not got well out of the door, and I was priding myself in
my heart, about being landlord to such a goodly turn out, when Nanse took
me by the arm, and said, "Come, and see such an unearthly sight." This
startled me, and I hesitated; but, at long and last, I went in with her,
a thought alarmed at what had happened, and--my gracious!! there, on the
easy-chair, was our bonny tortoise-shell cat, Tommy, with the red morocco
collar about its neck, bruised as flat as a flounder, and as dead as a
mawk!!!

The Deacon had sat down upon it without thinking; and the poor animal,
that our neighbours' bairns used to play with, and be so fond of, was
crushed out of life without a cheep. The thing, doubtless, was not
intended, but it gave Nanse and me a very sore heart.




CHAPTER X.--THE RESURRECTION MEN.


How then was the Devil drest!
He was in his Sunday's best;
His coat was red, and his breeches were blue,
With a hole behind where his tail came thro'.
Over the hill, and over the dale,
And he went over the plain:
And backward and forward he switch'd his tail,
As a gentleman switches his cane.

COLERIDGE.

About this time there arose a great sough and surmise, that some loons
were playing false with the kirkyard, howking up the bodies from their
damp graves, and harling them away to the College. Words cannot describe
the fear, and the dool, and the misery it caused. All flocked to the
kirk-yett; and the friends of the newly buried stood by the mools, which
were yet dark, and the brown newly cast divots, that had not yet taken
root, looking, with mournful faces, to descry any tokens of sinking in.

I'll never forget it. I was standing by when three young lads took
shools, and, lifting up the truff, proceeded to houk down to the coffin,
wherein they had laid the grey hairs of their mother. They looked wild
and bewildered like, and the glance of their een was like that of folk
out of a mad-house; and none dared in the world to have spoken to them.
They did not even speak to one another; but wrought on with a great
hurry, till the spades struck on the coffin lid--which was broken. The
dead-clothes were there huddled together in a nook, but the dead was
gone. I took hold of Willie Walker's arm, and looked down. There was a
cold sweat all over me;--losh me! but I was terribly frighted and eerie.
Three more graves were opened, and all just alike; save and except that
of a wee unchristened wean, which was off bodily, coffin and all.

There was a burst of righteous indignation throughout the parish; nor
without reason. Tell me that doctors and graduates must have the dead;
but tell it not to Mansie Wauch, that our hearts must be trampled in the
mire of scorn, and our best feelings laughed at, in order that a bruise
may be properly plaistered up, or a sore head cured. Verily, the remedy
is worse than the disease.

But what remead? It was to watch in the session-house, with loaded guns,
night about, three at a time. I never liked to go into the kirkyard
after darkening, let-a-be to sit there through a long winter night, windy
and rainy it may be, with none but the dead around us. Save us! it was
an unco thought, and garred all my flesh creep; but the cause was good--my
corruption was raised--and I was determined not to be dauntened.

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