Watch Yourself Go By

A >> Al. G. Field >> Watch Yourself Go By

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"Oh, you did not understand me. I did not mean to say that your father
whipped you. I heard that he did not give you credit for your--your,
that he--he--er hampered you in your--your--er--."

"Oh, I understand pap," interrupted Alfred, "he's all right, we get
along all right."

Then Mr. Thornton made inquiries as to where Alfred was going. When the
boy informed him, he said: "That's too far to walk; come on out to the
stable, I'll loan you a horse. You can ride him home and I will get him
tonight."

They walked toward the white mare. Alfred asked what kind of a saddler
she was. "Good," answered the man, "would you like to try her?"

"Why, yes, if it's all the same to you."

By this time Alfred was shortening the stirrup straps to the length of
his limbs as measured by his arms. Alfred's thinking gear was working
faster than the white mare's hoofs ever pounded the earth. As he was
about to mount he said: "Mr. Thornton, I'll bring this mare home. I
don't want to trouble you to call at our house."

[Illustration: Joe Thornton and Alfred]

"Why? I want to see your parents and I want to reward you."

Alfred, sitting on the horse's back, leaned far over toward the man and
detailed the sad results of his first venture in minstrelsy.

"Whatever you give me will be applied on the payment of my debts. If our
folks know that you gave me money they'll want to know what I did with
it."

The man grasped the situation, but informed Alfred the money in the book
belonged to his mother. He had withdrawn it from the bank to pay a note.
He would help Alfred out but must go to town before he could do so.

"From whom did you borrow money," asked Mr. Thornton.

Alfred hesitated and said: "Well, there's where I made another promise
not to tell, but I'm going to tell you, I borrowed it from Sammy
Steele."

"Well, I'll be damned if you ain't a good one. Why, Sammy Steele is the
tightest man in Brownsville. How did you come to go to him?"

Alfred explained all. Mr. Thornton insisted that he ride the white mare
home, adding that he would get her that night. Alfred rode off, visiting
not only the school-house but many old friends. He arrived home as it
was growing dark.

Entering the house he found Mr. Thornton there; he had told the family
all. He informed Alfred that he had left an order on Jake Walters, the
town tailor, for a suit of clothes, the material to be selected by the
bearer.

While the clothes were more than acceptable, Alfred was disappointed. He
feared he would not be in a position to pay the Sammy Steele note,
although he was bending every energy, even dunning Harrison for the
fifty cents loaned him at their first meeting.

The next week's issue of the _Brownsville Clipper_ contained a lengthy
article, as follows:

"One of Fayette County's most prominent citizens lost a
pocket-book containing a large amount of money and valuable
papers. The book was lost on the old pike somewhere between the
borough line and Thornton's lane. Fortunately for the loser, one
of the CLIPPER'S most trusted employes traveling on the pike,
found the valuable book. The finder is one who has been trained
under the vigilant eye of the editor of this valuable paper.
Through the influence of the editor of this paper the money was
returned to the owner in less than one hour after its loss was
discovered. The finder was suitably rewarded and will soon be
advanced to a more lucrative position on this paper."

Harrison, in addition to his promised reforms in the editorial columns
of the paper, introduced innovations in the advertising department. The
_Pittsburg Gazette_ was the only daily paper on the _Clipper's_ exchange
list--this fact compels the admission that Pittsburg was a little ahead
of Brownsville in the newspaper field, boasting two papers at the time,
the _Gazette_ and _Post_. Both papers carried display advertisements of
Hostetter's Stomach Bitters and Dr. Jayne's Liver Pills for grown people
and vermifuge for children. Those were the only patent medicines that
advertised at that time.

Harrison, in his illuminating way, wrote to the concerns soliciting
advertising. Dr. Jayne's representative wrote, requesting the weekly
circulation of the _Clipper_ and the localities wherein it was
circulated.

Harrison answered giving advertising rates, with unlimited reading
notices and concluded his letter by advising that "the _Brownsville
Clipper_ goes to Greene, Washington, Westmoreland and Bedford Counties;
it goes to Pittsburg, Cumberland and Washington, and before I took hold
of it the owner had all he could do to keep it from going to h--ll."

Something in Harrison's letters appealed to the medicine men as
advertisements were secured from both the concerns. In conformity with
the custom of the times, part payment for advertising was to be taken in
trade. Big boxes containing bottles of the stomach bitters, smaller
boxes containing pills and vermifuge were received. Small quantities of
both medicines were, with a great deal of persuasion, exchanged with
country stores for farm products. After the first effort none of the
bitters were offered for sale or trade insofar as the _Clipper's_ supply
was concerned.

Like the farmer who endeavored to sell the tanner the murn hide,
Harrison had found a market for the bitters at home. They contained
about 60% alcohol, therefore it was a panacea for all ills that
Harrison was afflicted with, and he had many. The bitters were a pill
for every ill.

That was a hard winter. Sugar crackers, Scotch herring and cheese were
Harrison's principal food and a few of the liver pills were used, but
the vermifuge stood on the shelves in the press room covered with dust.
Mr. Hurd ordered Alfred to get rid of it even if he had to give it away;
not to destroy it; if he could not sell it to give it to the subscribers
to the paper with the compliments of the editor. Alfred covered his
route with renewed vigor, a bundle of papers under his arm and both coat
pockets filled with pills.

Alfred was personally acquainted with nearly every family in the town;
he was familiar with the habits and health of all the boys.

Red haws, green apples, may apples, green chestnuts, in fact, everything
that grows which boys devour more greedily before than after maturity,
were plentiful in the country around Brownsville.

Alfred did a fine business for a time. The paper was published only
weekly and Alfred was ordered by Mr. Hurd to dispense the medicine only
when the paper was delivered. Alfred was doing so well that he intimated
to Harrison that the paper should be semi-weekly, at least. Alfred was
receiving a commission on all pills he sold.

Alfred looked over the medicine stock; about the only thing in stock was
liver pills. There were large quantities of liver pills lying on the
shelves. Alfred figured that the pills would do Johnny's cow no harm and
possibly might help her, as the cow was very sick.

Alfred did not wait until the paper was printed as the case was an
urgent one. He made a special call, carrying nearly a pint of the liver
pills in a paper collar box. (Harrison always wore paper collars and a
dicky.)

Alfred assured Johnny that the pills were specially prepared for just
such disorders as his cow was afflicted with. There was some question
as to the number of pills that constituted a dose for a cow. As the
printed directions gave no information on the matter, Alfred thought a
teacupful of the pellets would be about right.

It required a great deal of hard labor on the part of both Alfred and
the owner to compel the cow to swallow the pills. However, a goodly part
of the cupful of pills was administered to her.

At first the cow appeared a great deal worse and her owner feared she
would die. Squire Rowley, the best cow doctor in the neighborhood, was
sent for. He administered blackberry tea and other astringents and the
cow recovered.

[Illustration: "A Cow's Dose Is a Teacupful"]

When Lin heard that the boys were addressing Alfred as "Doctor," usually
prefixing the title with the word "Cow," she said: "They needn't try to
plague Alfurd, caus' it wus a durn good joke an' besides it cured the
cow and it wus about time Hurd's paper done somethin' good."

Alfred had saved sufficient money to cancel the note of Sammy Steele.
With a light step he ran up the stairs leading from the street into the
large finishing room. Greeting all cheerily he inquired for the boss.
Mr. Steele entered.

Looking curiously at Alfred, with a twinkle in his eye, the old tanner
remarked dryly: "Hurd--Mr. Hurd--Mr. Hurd--must be gettin' mightily
pushed when he starts his hands to peddling pills."

Mr. Steele's remark made the boy redden and he mumbled something about
the pills being received in trade and had to be sold by somebody.

The tanner laughingly continued: "I expected to see Johnny McCan coming
in with a murn hide. How many of Hurd's pills constitute a dose for a
cow?"

Cooney Brashear added to the jollity by suggesting that Alfred "give
Sammy's mewel a dose the next time he kicks you." This reference to the
"mewel" was only a reverberation of the town talk as Lin had predicted.
In fact, the reference to the "mewel" kicking Alfred became, and is
still, a by-word in the old town.

Mr. Steele, to the surprise of Alfred, refused to count the dollars and
dimes he poured from the old leather purse on the desk. Instead the man
bid the boy "keep the money until the note was due, then bring it here,
not a day before nor a day after. If you think you are going to die,
leave directions to pay the debt. The man who pays beforehand shows
himself a weakling, he is afraid of himself, he is afraid he cannot hold
the money. He usually spends his money before he earns it."

It was a great day for Brownsville and the leading journal of the town,
the _Brownsville Clipper_. Two circuses were headed for the town;
Rosston, Springer & Henderson's and Thayer & Noyse Great American
Circus.

The agent of the first named show was first in, Andy Springer, "Old
Rough Head." The agent was aware of the coming opposition although he
never mentioned it. His contract for advertising space in the _Clipper_
had a clause to the effect that no other circus advertising or reading
matter should appear in the columns of the great family paper prior to
the date of the exhibition of the R. S. & H. aggregation.

Harrison made this "slick contract" as he termed it. He charged the
circus man double the usual advertising rates, working the agent for
unlimited free tickets. The genteel word "complimentary" had not become
associated with show tickets as yet.

In making up the free list Harrison was as liberal to the families of
the force as the school directors had been on the occasion of Alfred's
exhibition. The editor and owner's family received sixteen free tickets;
there were five in his family all told. The managing-editor, Harrison,
and his family received fifteen free tickets. He distributed all of his
tickets within two hours after they were counted out to him. (In those
days the agent distributed the tickets, not by an order on the show as
now.)

Harrison sought the circus agent at the hotel explaining that since he
received the tickets he had consulted his family and they desired to go
to the show twice, afternoon and night. The agent, knowing that there
was opposition in sight, stood for the hold-up and Harrison celebrated
most gloriously the next few days, with free tickets to the circus.

The foreman of the composing room was to have ten tickets. He was a poor
man, Harrison advised, and had a lot of children. The circus wouldn't
lose anything as they would not pay to go nohow.

The pressman and his family were to receive ten free tickets. The devil,
Alfred, was to receive six free tickets. He managed to get two that
Harrison carelessly dropped while changing his clothes.

Scarcely had the first agent cleared the town before Charley Stowe,
agent for Thayer & Noyse arrived, brisk, bright and beaming. Entering
the _Clipper_ office he found Alfred the only person in. Mr. Stowe was
very gracious. He won the boy to his side ere he had conversed with him
five minutes.

The agent was in a great hurry, he desired to get to Pittsburgh at
once--most agents are in a great hurry to get into a big city from a
small town. Alfred informed the agent that he did not know where
Harrison could be found. "Please sit down and look over our paper," said
Alfred, and he left to seek Harrison, who was diligently distributing
circus tickets and judging from his condition, getting value received.

Alfred was almost overcome with the thought of two circuses coming to
town. He imparted the information to everyone whom he met who was
interested enough to listen. Another circus coming, bigger and better
than the first one, was Alfred's guarantee. He was prompted to this
through the fact that the newly arrived agent had been courteous to him.
Probably the twenty-five cents and two free tickets had something to do
with Alfred's leaning towards the second show.

Harrison was finally located at Bill Wyatt's, a place he had not
frequented in a long time as the slate bore figures that had been
written on it about the date Harrison struck the town. Harrison had
partially squared the score with circus tickets. Harrison was just able
to walk with Alfred's assistance. As they wobbled down wide Market
Street Alfred imagined the man in a mood to be approached. He reminded
Harrison of the half dollar long over due, and obligingly offered to
take it out in circus tickets.

Harrison scorned the proposition. Straightening himself up he endeavored
to push Alfred aside as he proudly exclaimed: "I don't want you to take
anything out in circus tickets. I'll pay cash after the circus."

It required all of Alfred's powers to make Harrison understand that
there was another circus agent in town, another circus coming. Harrison
persisted in the belief that it was the same agent with whom he had done
business.

Stowe meanwhile, as all intelligent agents do, had gone to headquarters.
As Alfred, with his tow, entered the office, the owner of the paper
turned on the managing editor, foreman of the composing room, etc., and
let loose a tirade of abuse such as Alfred had never heard the like of
before:

[Illustration: "Put Up Your Things and Git!"]

"You damned little shriveled up, whiskey soaked, tobacco smoked,
copperhead. What in hell do you mean by making a contract like this for
my paper? I'll cram it down your jaundiced jaws, you whelp of hell,
you!" And the rage of Hurd, who was a very large, fat man, caused his
face to turn purple. "Pack up your things and git, or I'll slap you into
the bowels of the jail. I know enough about you and your record on that
traitor sheet, (he referred to the opposition paper, the _Genius of
Liberty_), to have you and all connected with it sent to Johnson's
Island. Git out of yere!" yelled Hurd.

Harrison pulled away from Alfred and in the effort fell partially over a
settee as he sputtered out: "I'm a gemptman, what-smatter with Hanner."
He intended to use the cant phrase, "That's what's the matter with
Hannah."

Hurd shook a purplish looking bit of paper in Harrison's face: "What do
you mean, you shrimp, by entering into a contract to the effect that no
other circus can use my paper?"

Harrison attempted to look indignant but he was a bad actor, he could
only look drunk. On this occasion he could not dissemble. His effort to
do so only made him appear more drunken.

"I'm--a--man--of--h-honor--I'll stan'--by--anythin' I do." Here Harrison
fell down, full length on the settee, muttering and shaking his fist at
Hurd.

"Get him out of this house!" was Hurd's order to Alfred.

Alfred pulled and pushed Harrison to the bottom of the stairs leading up
to his room. Harrison fell on all fours and began a slow ascent of the
stairs, Alfred pushing him as he had seen deck hands shove refractory
cattle when loading them on a boat.

He returned to the room. Hurd was very crusty. He hinted that Alfred
should not have permitted the first circus agent to induce Harrison to
sign the shut-out contract.

Stowe, the circus agent, further endeared himself to Alfred when he
informed Mr. Hurd that Alfred should not be blamed.

Alfred, in the brief interview between the second agent and himself, had
informed him as to the contract made by the first agent, the price
charged for advertising, the free tickets extorted and other information
that was valuable.

The agent was very diplomatic. He began by calming Hurd: "Now, Mr. Hurd,
I know the value of your paper to us, I know you to be a man of honor,
and I would not offend you by even insinuating that you could find a
way to carry our advertising and reading matter as I know you would not
violate the contract made with the other concern, although it is evident
that contract was obtained by fraud. There is only one way around this;"
here the circus agent placed his hand on the shoulder of the big editor,
"we will have to get out an extra edition, their advertising and reading
matter to go in the regular edition, mine in the extra."

The editor beamed on the agent, the beam expressing more strongly than
any words: "You're a daisy--but, but," stammered Hurd, "we haven't got
matter enough for our regular edition. I've been working all morning;
Harrison's been drunk all week an'--"

"Never mind," interrupted the agent, "don't you worry, let me do the
work and the worrying also. Where can we get a little something to clear
the cobwebs out of our tonsils?" And they left the office arm in arm,
but not until the circus agent had asked Alfred if he knew where all the
office force could be found. Alfred answered "No, sir." And he was
truthful; as he was not certain whether he was on the stairs, on the
landing, at the top of the stairs or had rolled back to the bottom.

When the agent ordered Alfred to get the office force together and
inform them that they would have to work all night but would be paid
double time, Alfred ran upstairs, as was his custom, four steps at each
bound. Harrison was not on the stairs nor at the top landing. Running
into the press room, Alfred found Harrison sitting in the coal box,
sleeping soundly.

After vain efforts to arouse him, Alfred hastened to the residence of
Bill Smith who had once worked on the paper. Cal Wyatt had also served
some time setting type, and Baggy Allison was notified to repair to the
office instanter.

All were on hand when the circus man returned. Cal Wyatt, advised Alfred
to fill Harrison's mouth with salt, that it was a never failing remedy.
It did bring Harrison partly around, just enough to make him a pest, in
the way of all with both person and talk. He slobbered over copy and
case, hiccoughed, cursed Alfred for trying to doctor him; informing
Alfred that he wanted no "dam cow doctor to fool with him."

Stowe, the circus agent, laughed until his sides ached. He was informed
by the others that Alfred was a great minstrel and he volunteered to
find him a place with some first class minstrel organization the coming
winter. Stowe played the banjo and carried the instrument with him. All
the local minstrel band were introduced to him. He played and sang with
them and within twenty-four hours he owned the town, including the
printing office.

The type-setters did not have to wait for copy; Stowe had quantities.
The printers were not compelled to decipher the peculiarities of
anyone's handwriting; Stowe's copy was printed and punctuated.

Such copy had never been worked from in the office before. Of course all
the agent's copy treated of Thayer & Noyse Great Circus.

Harrison got to himself finally. He could make himself very agreeable
when he so desired.

Hurd insisted that there should be other matter written up. In this
Stowe acquiesced. He scribbled off political, local and other matter at
a rapid rate, nor did he stop there. He gave the contract to Isaac Vance
of the Marshall House to feed all people and stock with the circus.
There were no stable tents in those days nor did anyone stop on the lot.
Canvassmen, hostlers and actors--all in the hotels. Vance got a big
contract; Stowe secured a half column advertisement for the paper, as he
did from several others.

The extra appeared, at first glance, as fat as the regular edition. When
Baggy Allison tired, Stowe worked the press. He rolled, folded and fed
until the extra edition was off the press and ready for distribution.

Among his printed matter was a quarter sheet, with the portraits of
Thayer and Noyse, and a small amount of reading matter printed on one
side only. He dug up a can of red ink from some unexplored recess where
it had lain since the presidential campaign of 1860. He had three or
four funny mule cuts. He wrote a funny line or two, made a rude cut
resembling Hurd, informing the public that Hurd would ride the trick
mule circus day. This bill was printed without the knowledge of Hurd. It
was folded in the extra and thus distributed.

This fact makes valid Alfred's claim of another honor for Brownsville,
namely: that the _Brownsville Clipper_ was the first paper in this
country to issue a colored supplement. Of course the word "supplement"
was not in a newspaper's vocabulary at that time.

Another merit this supplement possessed, it was really humorous, and the
humor was apparent, even to the people of that day, and that is more
than the colored supplements of today can lay claim to.

Charley Stowe was not only the prime mover in all that pertained to the
issuance of the extra but he hired a horse and buggy and a boy to assist
Alfred in its distribution.

Brownsville was advertised as it had never been before. Charley Stowe
following a precedent established by the first agent that ever traveled
ahead of a show, promised many persons to return to Brownsville the day
of the show. And, unlike the first agent and almost all agents in all
times since, he kept his promise and came back.

It was a great day for Brownsville, it was a great day for Thayer and
Noyse, it was a great day for Alfred. Charley Stowe had another faculty,
shy in most agents, memory. He remembered the editor and the office
force, particularly the latter. He gave Alfred his first sight of the
inner sanctorum of the show world, namely, the dressing rooms. He
introduced him to big, good-natured Dr. Thayer, to natty little Charley
Noyse, to the elder Stickney and his talented son Bob, to J. M. Kelly,
the long distance single somersault leaper, to little Jimmy Reynolds,
the clown, to Mrs. Thayer and her charming daughter. It was the
unfolding of the scenes of another world to the lad. His recollection of
that day is as of a night of enchantment.

The circus had a very sick horse, a beautifully marked mare, sorrel and
snow white with glass eyes, as they are termed. The beautiful creature
was housed in the stable of the Marshall House. The animal was evidently
one of value to the circus folk as many of them visited the stable; all
seemed anxious as to the mare's recovery. After the afternoon
performance, Dr. Thayer, his wife and daughter were in the stable
administering to the sick horse. The circus man was completing
arrangements to have the tavern keeper care for the mare and send her on
to the show, if she were able to travel by the time the company reached
Uniontown.

Isaac Vance assured the circus people that everything possible would be
done for the mare, and turning to Alfred, laying both hands on the boy's
shoulders, facing him toward Mr. Thayer, said: "And here's the lad who
will take your mare to Uniontown. He can ride any horse or mule you
have. You should have this boy with your show, he is an actor right. Our
people swear by him, he can beat anything you have in the nigger
minstrel line."

Then Alfred, with a freshness born of ignorance, said: "Yes, Mr. Thayer,
you have a fine circus but your minstrels ain't much, not as good as
those with Van Amberg's Menagerie, and everybody says so."

Mr. Thayer and his wife both seemed greatly amused at the frankness of
the boy. The showman quizzed Alfred as to what he could do in the
concert. Alfred, as all other "rube" amateurs have done and always will
do, wanted to engage to give the entire concert. Thayer had more
patience then than Alfred has now as he listened to the boastful
assumptions of the boy.

Finally he said: "If you will get a letter from your father granting me
permission to employ you, I will give you the opportunity of your life,
but do not come to me without the permission of your parents, as our
show does not employ minors. It's against the law."

It was further arranged that Alfred should take the Lilly mare to
Uniontown the day the show exhibited there. Mrs. Thayer led Alfred to
one side and, pressing two dollars into his hand, charged him to visit
the sick horse several times daily, and no matter if those in charge
asserted that they had given her sufficient water, Alfred was to offer
the animal drink. She so charged the stable man, stuttering Hughey
Boggs.

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